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 AUTHOR
 HaydenFan
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 285
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40sPage 10 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I'm one of many single men I know that want a real relationship as well. Keep the faith girl, good, decent men are out here and we are looking as well!
 cakforya
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 288
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/24/2012 5:07:33 AM
ok I have read the lot of crap that was posted here, first of all statistically women ( according to most womens magazines and fidelity studies done at Berkley. ) cheat more, and are more likely to cheat , and are 75% more likely to commit adultery and demand a divorce. when they do that they take more than half of your savings they take your life, and if you have kids the women take them too, so why the hell would a man want to marry or even trust a woman ? hope that they are not all people with no accountability for their actions.

so when a man comes in here , and the women have sooo many demands , and they have profiles not showing a face , and the majority of people on POF are not honest even the ones who contact me crapping on me and my wife because we are polyamorous. so they call us cheaters, or swingers.
we are not! nor are we hypocrites , we dont cheat lie or try to deceive.
and the MARRIED WOMEN LOOKING FOR A FWB are the ones who , come here and leave messages calling me names etc , and saying why are you looking , I stated this clearly in the profile. and they are married looking for a fwb ...WTF?

My problem is NO ONE KNOWS HONESTY when it slaps them in the face.
WE DO NOT SWING EITHER , we dont screw everyone we make friends of . nor do we have a sex specific relationship , its about communication, and honesty , not sex lies and whatever.

we are looking for adult intelligent friends who want to get to know human beings. and if it happens then fine if it doesnt , thats is just as ok.

what we have that mostly screws others up is respect and honesty. we wish to meet other like minded people who want the same.
even if its friends only without the fwb. we are adults looking for adults , not highschool kids playing coy. thats BULL



anyone remember how fun highschool was for your sex life? i do it sucked . because of the bullshit right?

well thats why we want real people , and need to know them before you have sex, we are not baboons we dont just see another person and start at them like a primate. c'mon folks....

the bottom line.....
you deserve what you need sexually and emotionally. so go get it as long as its between consenting adults and no deception.
havent you read 50 shades ?

yeah, .....well maybe not that far gone, but we want to talk , so c'mon folks . ladies I only bite , when asked.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 289
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/24/2012 10:37:40 AM
abmccray
What the heck do you keep getting tested for if you aren't having condomless sex? "Oh what a lovely day; I think I'll get tissue scraped out of my urethra for no reason - sounds pleasant!"


I had to do a quick check on your profile to see your age, you seem to be exceedingly clueless for someone who is 33 years old.

First, condoms do not provide 100% protection. Especially not if you give or receive oral sex.

Second, where in the hell did you get the idea “get tissue scraped out of my urethra” ??? That is NOT a part of testing for STDs. For anyone who does not know, they take a small sample of blood, and a urine specimen. From this, they test for HIV, Herpes 1 and 2, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Chlamydia, and hepatitis B & C. This cost me $185 when I last had it done, a few weeks ago.

This is not charged back to my health insurance, and is not performed through my doctor’s office, and is not on my medical record.

And for HeyDerHay (above), I have to agree with Abelian. Please go to Christian Mingle and leave us poor sinners alone.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 290
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/24/2012 11:39:49 AM
Most doctors, by far, do swab tests for chlamydia and gonorrhea. It's actually exceedingly hard to find doctors that do urine tests, as it's traditional, and widely believed that swab tests are more effective (they are, by around 2-3%, which is irrelevant). They are also anywhere from horribly uncomfortable to painful. I've had more than enough, and thankfully, finally found a doctor that utilizes urine to test (since I generally test after any new partner).

Urine tests are (thankfully) becoming somewhat more common, especially as advertised on online-based tests, but, as stated, are still quite rare, especially if you're going to clinics and general practitioners/personal-family doctors as most do.

Unless the condom breaks, you only have a chance to catch syphilis, herpes, or HPV from sex. You can't really test for HPV in men; the other two are covered in a blood test.

However, a full STD test would include a swab (most often, by far) or urine (less common), which is utterly pointless if you're having sex with a condom, which is the point I made.

Also, many doctors "laugh" at you if you're a male, using condoms with heterosexual sex, getting an HIV test - since it's basically a mathematical impossibility for you to get it in that way. Every time I get one, the reaction is basically "seriously - it's a waste."
 VoxClamantis
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 291
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/26/2012 1:12:38 PM
The men who are willing to wait are generally not men in very high demand.

The men in high demand are not so much willing to wait around.

Date uglier, shyer, less assertive, less interesting men. Problem solved.
 CaptainA.D
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 292
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/26/2012 2:33:02 PM

Also, many doctors "laugh" at you if you're a male, using condoms with heterosexual sex, getting an HIV test - since it's basically a mathematical impossibility for you to get it in that way. Every time I get one, the reaction is basically "seriously - it's a waste."

I disagree. Its still good to get tested even when their is safe sex. Monitoring your status never hurts. I've horror stories online of people contracting the disease even though the sex was safe.. Just saying.. Be careful of choices in partners. I test twice a year and im all good! Always used condoms. Heck, i even test when im not having sex. I dont trust "window peirods" Cause anyone can become positive at anytime.
 salezmanjim
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 293
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/2/2012 8:38:27 PM
I don't know why woman feel that we are the ones getting all the benefit from sex, if he is getting it done your getting just as much benefit. Ladies your smart enuff to know weather its just about him wanting sex or if he is really into you. I have sceen plenty of woman drool over a hot guy like a t-bone steak, and if he is hot enuff you dont caare about the rest. My point is don't place all the sex interst on us, and us your heads, u know what vibes your getting from him.
 simplesous
Joined: 5/27/2012
Msg: 294
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/3/2012 10:50:19 AM
For starters, I think it is important to remember that if a man doesn't want to have sex with you from the start, he doesn't want to date you either. No sexual attraction = no dates.

Yes, sometimes men ask me out and as it turns out they ONLY want sex from me and that is frustrating. One thing these men all seem to have in common is that they are outside of my league, so to speak. They tend to be better looking that the average man who would date me, or they have impressive jobs. I think they are deliberately stepping down a notch or two because it's easier for them to get laid. I don't blame them for that as I think it is a similar dynamic as friend zoning a less than undesirable guy, the only difference is the male does it to easily fulfill sexual needs and the female does it for emotional needs. All I can do is be true to myself and my needs, without playing games or trying to force a guy through hoops. Fortunately, these guys bail pretty quickly. (Just recently I met someone for a drink, who then extended the date to dinner, and then extended to another drink after dinner, and then extended to a night time walk in the park, and then I went home. The next day he emailed me saying he felt we didn't have any chemistry. Looking back on it I realized that he just thought I was worth a shag from the get go... and of course this guy was way out of my league in the first place!)

If every guy you go out with just wants to have sex, you are probably punching above your weight. It's time to date men who are less attractive - easier said than done of course!
 Curtis68cet
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 295
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/10/2012 3:18:36 AM
Clap,clap,clap.plus a woman don't want a commitment theses days and she should thank her ex because now she can use him as a escape to the reason why she's whoring around or sleeping with younger boys its because she always wanted to be lose n sleep around.
 _countryboi92_
Joined: 6/29/2012
Msg: 297
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 11:52:19 AM
the problem is with women love bad boys. The guys that take consideration of a womens feelings, and listen to them turn into the friend zone.
 Kathyew
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 298
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 4:51:43 PM
I am 56 yrs old and my boyfriend is 51 and our sex life is great. Us older women love sex too. I'm proud we met and we satisfy each other greatly in friendship and sexually. We feel we were truly meant to meet on pof and get together.
 campy01814
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 299
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 5:29:59 PM
it really depends on the woman, we as men, and this is gonna sound totally retarded, but we as men look at a girl and think, ya..id do her.. or ya id give it a try with her.

if your one of the "ya, id do her girls. we don't want to hear that.

if your one of the give it a try girls, me on a personal do respet the whole waiting thing.. but i do believe there is a time to either sh%t or get off the pot, if ya wait too long ya just end up in the friend zone.
 campy01814
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 300
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 5:35:46 PM
actually, i can remember back in the day when they did use one of those wooden handled qtips to get your samples...they poked it in your pee hole then gave it a spin...that was when i was a teenager. nowadays though, your right, it is all done with blood. although when i have it done it doesnt cost me a penny, found a clinic that does it for free.


good idea to get checked out fellas..
 New_Sooner
Joined: 3/3/2012
Msg: 301
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/14/2012 4:36:58 PM
I would say, for the most part, this can be true but I think it is more realistic to say that women want the same thing that men want...they just refuse to talk about it out loud and admit it. "Knight in shining armor", hold your purse while shopping, gentleman in public then spank your arse, grab your hair, give it to you good in the privacy of your bedroom.

This may not be the most perfect example but, you probably get what I'm saying.


_countryboi92_

the problem is with women love bad boys. The guys that take consideration of a womens feelings, and listen to them turn into the friend zone.
 carlierae26
Joined: 9/14/2012
Msg: 307
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 9/22/2012 7:52:05 AM
I agree. But I'll freely admit I'd want that lol
 jason_1977
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 308
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 10/19/2012 10:23:21 PM
I don't do sex with out a strong emotional attachment. Yes there are guys looking for love and commitment. Sex just to have sex does not interest me at all. I know i'm not alone in that.
 Rebecca_Adams
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 309
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 11/15/2012 7:21:56 PM
I am new to Toronto and the dating scene here. However, in other provinces and countries where I have had relationships the large majority of the men I have dated have been extremely patient and willing to allow our relationship to progress at my pace. (I like to take things slow, I am confident and I take care of myself.) My advice know the pace you feel comfortable proceeding and be firm about this, reject the men who do not respect you.. there are plenty more fish in the sea. Focus on your own personal development, doing things you love and taking care of you. Open your heart to men who are different than those in your past, include some foreigners... overall in Toronto things seem to move faster than other places in the world.
 golfguy59
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 310
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 11/18/2012 12:58:03 AM
I totally agree with you... People are so shallow and always looking for the next best thing and they dont realize it is right in front of them
 hamster55
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 313
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 11/22/2012 10:44:05 PM
I beg to differ, if you want just sex then by all means go ahead. But there lots of guys who want a relationship your age, and feel that sex is way better when you are with someone you actually care about. And as far as men with kids well i also know a few guys with kids, who are not looking for a mother for there kids but a relationship.
 GerHer
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 314
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/12/2013 2:16:45 AM
100% spot on, when a man is interested in more than sex, waiting is not trouble
 GerHer
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 315
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/12/2013 2:19:18 AM
I actually run away from woman who wants or accepts having sex on first date, really turns me off. I love challenges and "playing hard to get" is the way to go in my book, and I don't think I'm alone in that camp. Just keep looking, a guy who wants sex early on is only for a one night stand kind of relation
 pmerr
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 316
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/12/2013 2:31:13 AM
I have to say that women want a model for a guy. I am a great guy but cannot get even one response. Women you will get what you get if you want a looser then they are waiting for you. If you want a true relationship loose some weight and put on some make up. DO NOT WEAR WHAT YOU SLEEP IN TO THE STORE.
 dontblink1970
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 317
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/13/2013 6:53:39 PM
First off Chrysalis1686..I just want to say I realize that Kentucky is a bit off from Florida, however, I just wanted to say hi. I've read most of your comments in the forums and liked your profile. After some thought, I just wanted to give you a compliment about your smile! I'm SURE you will find the one person you're looking for. Sometimes, good guys do finish last, but it's worth the wait! :)
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 318
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/15/2013 9:58:44 AM
I am done with the guys looking for just a sex partner. I believe in waiting for it to be the right time to have sex. Ive been married before and had those FWB relationshps. I am at the point in my life where I want the whole package.

That's just fine. After a divorce I'm sure Booty Calls, and then FWB relationships were a good way to get your "feet" wet... but yeah, you want something more.

But just realize that if you keep finding men who just want sex and nothing else -- they're not that into you. Okay. If you keep meeting/talking with guys who aren't that into you, you know what that means, right? They're usually at least a bit out of your league.

For women it can be a bit confusing, especially online, to gauge what real 'league' you're more or less in... because a guy is willing to temporarily be in contact with a gal or have a FWB thing going on, etc., if she's got some attractive qualities, but he's not that into her (ie He can do better). You have to understand that guys halt it at that point because you're not the best catch in his eyes. Now, if he's on the rebound or whatnot, or in woman-hating mode, few if any girls will be the best catch for him.

But if virtually all the guys you entangle yourself with isn't that into you -- you're aiming too high. It's the same thing for average or below-average Joes out hanging out with really cute girls... at first you think he's got some good game, but he always complains that they just want to be friends, and he's friend-zoned 99% of the time. He's aiming for girls out of his league (and when not out of his league, he has horrible beta-male "game").
 Rickky1969
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 319
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/17/2013 1:07:20 PM
if any guy wants you just for sex then kick them to the curb and get a guy like me to take you put and wine you and dine you then see what happens
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