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 Donald30680
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 225
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40sPage 5 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
i went like are sex ok
 vampyreshadow
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 226
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 4/25/2012 8:38:00 PM
Not all men are desperate horn dogs, I have to0 many male friends to buy into stereotypes :P I know more then a few of different age groups looking for stable relationships, hell I know a few that wont even have sex unless they think it is with the right girl. The right guy will respect you the wrong one wont :P
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 227
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 4/27/2012 3:25:10 PM
I like to believe that most of us in this age group are past our casual sex, one night stand phase. I mean , there's nothing wrong with that as an occasional thing if two people feel that intense physical attraction and are both on the same page. But Personally, I would far rather be with someone I want to have a conversation with over breakfast the next day and then see again after that. It's much more satisfying.

So if two people really like each other, there is interest and attraction etc. then waiting until both are ready should not a problem. I try to just let things evolve organically and see how we interact etc. I never push for anything before a woman is ready and if I get the feeling that she isn't comfortable advancing things then I will back off and take it slower. I have had women politely tell me they want to take things slower and I have graciously accepted that and told them it is perfectly fine and that I am interested in more then just the physical aspect of being with them so we can take our time. That's the mature way to do it. Of course, sometimes they are ready to get physical fairly quickly, maybe even quicker then I wanted. Everyone is different and the dynamic of every pairing will be different.

That being said, I think it is important to at least communicate that you are a sexual person and that you are also interested in that with a woman. But in a non creepy or pushy way. If she doesn't know you find her attractive you may very well end up in the "friend" zone and then it may never happen.
 michaelzs
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 231
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 4/29/2012 6:15:04 PM
So didnt you notice the comment the young lady made right after your question. I think i get more and more irritated each day. You mention do men want something more. But do women. It seems to me, just my thoughts. That they dont want to look further i dont know anymore. Dating should not be this hard. Good luck with your search.
 actruk
Joined: 3/26/2012
Msg: 232
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 5/1/2012 10:04:31 AM
buenas diaz como estas me llamo omar ytu que estas aciendo que me cuentas deti soy de cuernavaca ytu que te gusta aser los fines de semana
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 236
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 5/25/2012 12:13:37 PM
Sex is important to me. Its also part of the relationship and getting to know someone. You might be the nicest person out there and we could be the best of friends get along awsome. Lets say I did wait for 3 months (no way I will) if we had sex and on the second time you still didnt do it for me ( bad sex), Guess what I'm out of there. Having good sex is same as being with someone who has same sense of humor. If you cant get my jokes or me yours, It just wont work.
Good sex makes about 20% of the relationship. Bad sex makes 80% of the trouble in the relationship. Now if both people have low sex drive then it would work out for them. But if I date someone and feel that for her sex is take it or leave it she dont care much for it. Then I know that at best we can be just friends. When I'm with someone sex once or twice a month for two healthy people is not even close to be enough.
 Beurself1313
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 237
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 5/25/2012 1:52:16 PM
Lmao... This thread is kinda like HS... And maybe that's the problem... There are too many adult adolescents out there!!! My respect for a woman, has NOTHING to do with sex... I can't even believe they ask, or you respond to sex questions through email... Or even on the phone... Maybe I'm wacky... But... Should those kinds of things just happen naturally??? Seriously... Talking about it at all?? What's the point??? If that's what he wants to know... Then there's a shady reason behind it!!! Don't get me wrong... There is nothing wrong with two adults, jumping in the sack because they both want to... But everyone should just be upfront and honest about it.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 240
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 5/26/2012 11:52:43 AM
I am done with the guys looking for just a sex partner. I believe in waiting for it to be the right time to have sex. Ive been married before and had those FWB relationshps. I am at the point in my life where I want the whole package.

Ladies: Do you feel the same way?

-Yup! In fact, before I turned 40 and after my last fwb arrangement I decided to put the 30's behind me and focus on ME. Alone... yes, A L O N E.
Granted though, I do have children. They really do take the focus off of how single I am and make time fly by.
So there OP, you are NOT the only one.

Guys: Do any of you actually respect a woman if she says I want to get to know you better befoer we jump in bed or do you just move on before even having a date?
- Imo, some guys do and some guys don't. Each have their own thoughts and opinions on this. So be it! Not a biggie.

thoughts?
I've decided that when I am ready I will get what I want. I recently told a friend who advised I have to kiss a few frogs to find my prince that I am not interested in kissing frogs. THAT is my prerogative. I'm so happy with the ability to even make that kind of decision and be content with it.

OP, if this is your belief and you are content with it. Fugg what anyone thinks. Only you live your life, do as you wish.
I'm a firm believer in fate.
I will add this though. Make sure you don't turn yourself off sex either. There is nothing wrong with sex! It can be fantastic with the right partner. Some of us who push others away because we are tired of what we go through and sometimes turn our brains off sex. It might even go as far as "hating" the opposite gender. We get turned off by it when truly sex is not the blame here! Maintain your healthy outlook in sexuality/sensuality. Realize each of us are individuals.
Just own what your beliefs are. Stick by them. It makes it who you are.

That is all

(slurps coffee)


*edit
Ladies if you're tired of meeting men who only want sex then you probably need to step your conversation skills.
^^
I agree. People are not mind readers. Speak up, say what you want.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 241
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:34:26 PM
Looks like it's time to be switching teams after reading this thread. :O

 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 252
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:42:06 PM
... And every guy who goes on here and agrees with the OP .... says he's not like that... he too wants a relationship... etc... is probably not your type, correct? :)
 darringer
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 255
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/30/2012 6:52:30 AM
You are so right , but if u can look into each others eyes, witch are the portals to your soul , you will know if its right
:modhammer:
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 260
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/6/2012 6:34:25 AM
Guys want relationships with women who they want relationships with. If guys "only want sex" from you, then it just means, for whatever reason, you don't have what it takes to attract those guys outside of the physical. It's not the guys' faults, it's either yours for not being mentally/socially stimulating for whatever reason, or just a lack of compatibility.

The only "difference" between men and women (and this is by no means universal) is that they generally have a a different "tier" system.

Men:

a) women they won't have sex with
b) women they will have sex with but don't want to be in a relationship with
c) women they will be in a relationship with and will have sex with

Women:

a) men they won't have sex with
b) Men they will be in a relationship with and have sex with

A LOT of women are missing that mid-tier, and therefore, get confused with guys that will only have sex with them, assuming that means that guys only want sex. It's not true at all - look at the billions that are in relationships - it's just that guys don't want a relationship with THEM for whatever reason. And, because they only equate sex with relationships (whereas a lot of guys don't, which is a mix of biological and social reasons), they get confused.
 LoveSmiles79
Joined: 9/11/2006
Msg: 262
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/7/2012 6:20:40 PM
I've been noticing that...I think hey I finally met someone who wants to talk and then meet up...and before we even meet up the conversation turns to sex.

It's a turn-off for me because I think they are only interested in sex, we'll go on the date and we'll have sex and that will be the end of it - chances are yes!

I agree most men are thinking SEX...I think its more our culture now, sex is such a big part of everything around us. It's not like way back when women we're actually respected for having a bit of class and not giving some ass on a first date!
 HopefulRog
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 264
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/7/2012 7:31:33 PM
Seriously, what's wrong with just looking for a sex partner. I not trying to be rude but most women these days have nothing to offer other then a good time. And that's only when they can find a baby sitter. Tell me, why would a Good looking man who has his own place, his own car, makes good money . want to get in an exclusive relationship with a women when you can have a new one every week if you like. and i don't know about the other guys , but it seems i have can preserve more money being single. in addition if you have a Job who will be giving more waking hours with to your boss then me. and lets not forget about the kids. So, other than sex, what else should we want... the faster women realize that you all lost the home court advantage.. this is not hte days of old where you had to promise commitment to get some. those days are gone.. trim is every where. and why would we give it all up for one female who wont give you kids. and demand you help take care of theirs.. Girls who believe in waiting for the right time is going to have a hard time competing with a females ready to give it up right now. and yes i respect all the women i slept with and remember the experience fondly. well mostly. And if you waiting for the whole package, then you telling every man that reads your profile he not getting none. which, BTW, ladies, stop telling men that you not looking for a booty call, one night stands yadda yadda yadda. Never ever tell a man or give him the impression he wont get any. you can live it you don't have to say it. that kind of comment chase away even the men who are not just looking for that. In fact, if you wabt to see what kind of man you are dealing with, you should pretend like you are easy. watch how fast he exposes his self.
In short, most of you women are only good for a good time. seriously it's to many women out here.
 stanDman
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 265
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/8/2012 4:38:53 AM
do you go out with someone with an open or start negative?
 TINCEY62
Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 266
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/8/2012 11:12:57 AM
I am with you. I don't know what they want any more even from us older women. Guess they want the young things.
 AxemanMixer
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 268
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/8/2012 2:59:20 PM
well, here's my situation. my wife and i are getting divorced.. we have had intimacy issues for some time now. i have never considered our slow start an issue or red flag..and it turned into 9 years of great marriage. but she never liked being intimate from the start. we have kids, but act as roomates, f w/o benefits. im willing to be patient... but only so long. my wide has issus, and thats what hurt us.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 272
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:29:36 PM
A little something called veneral disease is out there. Quality fellows is interested doing a full backround check than taking a risk. Women should do the same to us. I'd say.. no sex until "I love you is said" from both parties.


^^'
Ummm what?
You meant to say full std testing before risking sex... correct?
Also, you do realize that saying I love you doesn't make stds go away, don't you?

I'm with Abelian. Be upfront, honest, know what you want and what you two are doing. In other words, act like adults.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 274
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/9/2012 9:53:24 PM
What the heck do you keep getting tested for if you aren't having condomless sex? "Oh what a lovely day; I think I'll get tissue scraped out of my urethra for no reason - sounds pleasant!"
 JRA_4_U
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 276
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/10/2012 10:54:49 AM
Then don't just date. Find a long boyfriend. At that level, his is not just your date...but he is not your husband either.
Maybe that will make you feel better by having a higher level relationship...but will not make the your choose feel like he is settling down. It will give you time yo truly know each other.

And as for the sex issue. There is just no way around it...it is part of being an adult....have fun with it
 mannyoc
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 278
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/10/2012 3:46:34 PM
Yes I respect a woman that wants to wait! I cannot believe some of the comments made by women on here about men! Talking about men not wanting relationships. Are you kidding me! So far the average woman on this site in her 30's to 40's has the longest relationship of only 3 years! I have seen quite a few women in there late 30's to early 40's on this site divorced with longest relationship of 2 years! And yet here I stand 38 years old MALE with longest relationship of 11 years. Oh no men can't have long relationships!
 duckypam
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 282
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:12:47 PM
This is an excellent example of why women didn't put out until they got married. Men had no choice but to commit and put their needs on hold in order to obtain their goals. Saying this, I'm a complete hypocrit and still single, because I don't follow this principle as well as I should. Nowawdays, if a person takes one step awry in the relationship, no matter how petty, they can be immediately replaced by another warm body off internet dating.
 sauder
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 283
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/15/2012 8:19:03 PM
I'm trying to find the whole package. Bottom line.
I'm not looking for meat to have for dinner, okay.
But what I'm finding has not been date material much less anything else.

It all depends on how she says it. I had a really good date with a very pretty woman. I was happy until she blurts out "You're not getting any tonight". My jaw hit the floor, "where the &^*( did that come from?? I'm still confused.

Another date with a beautiful woman (not from here) I was so nervous of messing things up I could not be calm. Gave her a handshake at the end of it and then asked her out again. I kicked myself all the way to my truck! Later she said she thought it was cute. End of date two, dropping her off at home (we have 30 friends in common & she is with me. Totally safe). It's one of those odd in the car side hug moments and guess what ... she shakes my hand with a giggle. I laugh out loud and give her the car hug with the laugh. She grabs my ears and plants one... a soft one.. best EVER! I can't wait till date 5 which is coming up (hopefully).

So it depends on how it is done.
 HaydenFan
Joined: 10/19/2011
Msg: 285
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/19/2012 7:21:50 AM
I'm one of many single men I know that want a real relationship as well. Keep the faith girl, good, decent men are out here and we are looking as well!
 cakforya
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 288
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/24/2012 5:07:33 AM
ok I have read the lot of crap that was posted here, first of all statistically women ( according to most womens magazines and fidelity studies done at Berkley. ) cheat more, and are more likely to cheat , and are 75% more likely to commit adultery and demand a divorce. when they do that they take more than half of your savings they take your life, and if you have kids the women take them too, so why the hell would a man want to marry or even trust a woman ? hope that they are not all people with no accountability for their actions.

so when a man comes in here , and the women have sooo many demands , and they have profiles not showing a face , and the majority of people on POF are not honest even the ones who contact me crapping on me and my wife because we are polyamorous. so they call us cheaters, or swingers.
we are not! nor are we hypocrites , we dont cheat lie or try to deceive.
and the MARRIED WOMEN LOOKING FOR A FWB are the ones who , come here and leave messages calling me names etc , and saying why are you looking , I stated this clearly in the profile. and they are married looking for a fwb ...WTF?

My problem is NO ONE KNOWS HONESTY when it slaps them in the face.
WE DO NOT SWING EITHER , we dont screw everyone we make friends of . nor do we have a sex specific relationship , its about communication, and honesty , not sex lies and whatever.

we are looking for adult intelligent friends who want to get to know human beings. and if it happens then fine if it doesnt , thats is just as ok.

what we have that mostly screws others up is respect and honesty. we wish to meet other like minded people who want the same.
even if its friends only without the fwb. we are adults looking for adults , not highschool kids playing coy. thats BULL



anyone remember how fun highschool was for your sex life? i do it sucked . because of the bullshit right?

well thats why we want real people , and need to know them before you have sex, we are not baboons we dont just see another person and start at them like a primate. c'mon folks....

the bottom line.....
you deserve what you need sexually and emotionally. so go get it as long as its between consenting adults and no deception.
havent you read 50 shades ?

yeah, .....well maybe not that far gone, but we want to talk , so c'mon folks . ladies I only bite , when asked.
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