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 TINCEY62
Joined: 12/11/2005
Msg: 266
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40sPage 8 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I am with you. I don't know what they want any more even from us older women. Guess they want the young things.
 AxemanMixer
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 268
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/8/2012 2:59:20 PM
well, here's my situation. my wife and i are getting divorced.. we have had intimacy issues for some time now. i have never considered our slow start an issue or red flag..and it turned into 9 years of great marriage. but she never liked being intimate from the start. we have kids, but act as roomates, f w/o benefits. im willing to be patient... but only so long. my wide has issus, and thats what hurt us.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 272
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/9/2012 6:29:36 PM
A little something called veneral disease is out there. Quality fellows is interested doing a full backround check than taking a risk. Women should do the same to us. I'd say.. no sex until "I love you is said" from both parties.


^^'
Ummm what?
You meant to say full std testing before risking sex... correct?
Also, you do realize that saying I love you doesn't make stds go away, don't you?

I'm with Abelian. Be upfront, honest, know what you want and what you two are doing. In other words, act like adults.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 274
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/9/2012 9:53:24 PM
What the heck do you keep getting tested for if you aren't having condomless sex? "Oh what a lovely day; I think I'll get tissue scraped out of my urethra for no reason - sounds pleasant!"
 mannyoc
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 278
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/10/2012 3:46:34 PM
Yes I respect a woman that wants to wait! I cannot believe some of the comments made by women on here about men! Talking about men not wanting relationships. Are you kidding me! So far the average woman on this site in her 30's to 40's has the longest relationship of only 3 years! I have seen quite a few women in there late 30's to early 40's on this site divorced with longest relationship of 2 years! And yet here I stand 38 years old MALE with longest relationship of 11 years. Oh no men can't have long relationships!
 duckypam
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 282
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/15/2012 12:12:47 PM
This is an excellent example of why women didn't put out until they got married. Men had no choice but to commit and put their needs on hold in order to obtain their goals. Saying this, I'm a complete hypocrit and still single, because I don't follow this principle as well as I should. Nowawdays, if a person takes one step awry in the relationship, no matter how petty, they can be immediately replaced by another warm body off internet dating.
 sauder
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 283
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/15/2012 8:19:03 PM
I'm trying to find the whole package. Bottom line.
I'm not looking for meat to have for dinner, okay.
But what I'm finding has not been date material much less anything else.

It all depends on how she says it. I had a really good date with a very pretty woman. I was happy until she blurts out "You're not getting any tonight". My jaw hit the floor, "where the &^*( did that come from?? I'm still confused.

Another date with a beautiful woman (not from here) I was so nervous of messing things up I could not be calm. Gave her a handshake at the end of it and then asked her out again. I kicked myself all the way to my truck! Later she said she thought it was cute. End of date two, dropping her off at home (we have 30 friends in common & she is with me. Totally safe). It's one of those odd in the car side hug moments and guess what ... she shakes my hand with a giggle. I laugh out loud and give her the car hug with the laugh. She grabs my ears and plants one... a soft one.. best EVER! I can't wait till date 5 which is coming up (hopefully).

So it depends on how it is done.
 cakforya
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 288
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/24/2012 5:07:33 AM
ok I have read the lot of crap that was posted here, first of all statistically women ( according to most womens magazines and fidelity studies done at Berkley. ) cheat more, and are more likely to cheat , and are 75% more likely to commit adultery and demand a divorce. when they do that they take more than half of your savings they take your life, and if you have kids the women take them too, so why the hell would a man want to marry or even trust a woman ? hope that they are not all people with no accountability for their actions.

so when a man comes in here , and the women have sooo many demands , and they have profiles not showing a face , and the majority of people on POF are not honest even the ones who contact me crapping on me and my wife because we are polyamorous. so they call us cheaters, or swingers.
we are not! nor are we hypocrites , we dont cheat lie or try to deceive.
and the MARRIED WOMEN LOOKING FOR A FWB are the ones who , come here and leave messages calling me names etc , and saying why are you looking , I stated this clearly in the profile. and they are married looking for a fwb ...WTF?

My problem is NO ONE KNOWS HONESTY when it slaps them in the face.
WE DO NOT SWING EITHER , we dont screw everyone we make friends of . nor do we have a sex specific relationship , its about communication, and honesty , not sex lies and whatever.

we are looking for adult intelligent friends who want to get to know human beings. and if it happens then fine if it doesnt , thats is just as ok.

what we have that mostly screws others up is respect and honesty. we wish to meet other like minded people who want the same.
even if its friends only without the fwb. we are adults looking for adults , not highschool kids playing coy. thats BULL



anyone remember how fun highschool was for your sex life? i do it sucked . because of the bullshit right?

well thats why we want real people , and need to know them before you have sex, we are not baboons we dont just see another person and start at them like a primate. c'mon folks....

the bottom line.....
you deserve what you need sexually and emotionally. so go get it as long as its between consenting adults and no deception.
havent you read 50 shades ?

yeah, .....well maybe not that far gone, but we want to talk , so c'mon folks . ladies I only bite , when asked.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 289
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/24/2012 10:37:40 AM
abmccray
What the heck do you keep getting tested for if you aren't having condomless sex? "Oh what a lovely day; I think I'll get tissue scraped out of my urethra for no reason - sounds pleasant!"


I had to do a quick check on your profile to see your age, you seem to be exceedingly clueless for someone who is 33 years old.

First, condoms do not provide 100% protection. Especially not if you give or receive oral sex.

Second, where in the hell did you get the idea “get tissue scraped out of my urethra” ??? That is NOT a part of testing for STDs. For anyone who does not know, they take a small sample of blood, and a urine specimen. From this, they test for HIV, Herpes 1 and 2, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Chlamydia, and hepatitis B & C. This cost me $185 when I last had it done, a few weeks ago.

This is not charged back to my health insurance, and is not performed through my doctor’s office, and is not on my medical record.

And for HeyDerHay (above), I have to agree with Abelian. Please go to Christian Mingle and leave us poor sinners alone.
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 290
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/24/2012 11:39:49 AM
Most doctors, by far, do swab tests for chlamydia and gonorrhea. It's actually exceedingly hard to find doctors that do urine tests, as it's traditional, and widely believed that swab tests are more effective (they are, by around 2-3%, which is irrelevant). They are also anywhere from horribly uncomfortable to painful. I've had more than enough, and thankfully, finally found a doctor that utilizes urine to test (since I generally test after any new partner).

Urine tests are (thankfully) becoming somewhat more common, especially as advertised on online-based tests, but, as stated, are still quite rare, especially if you're going to clinics and general practitioners/personal-family doctors as most do.

Unless the condom breaks, you only have a chance to catch syphilis, herpes, or HPV from sex. You can't really test for HPV in men; the other two are covered in a blood test.

However, a full STD test would include a swab (most often, by far) or urine (less common), which is utterly pointless if you're having sex with a condom, which is the point I made.

Also, many doctors "laugh" at you if you're a male, using condoms with heterosexual sex, getting an HIV test - since it's basically a mathematical impossibility for you to get it in that way. Every time I get one, the reaction is basically "seriously - it's a waste."
 VoxClamantis
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 291
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 7/26/2012 1:12:38 PM
The men who are willing to wait are generally not men in very high demand.

The men in high demand are not so much willing to wait around.

Date uglier, shyer, less assertive, less interesting men. Problem solved.
 salezmanjim
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 293
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/2/2012 8:38:27 PM
I don't know why woman feel that we are the ones getting all the benefit from sex, if he is getting it done your getting just as much benefit. Ladies your smart enuff to know weather its just about him wanting sex or if he is really into you. I have sceen plenty of woman drool over a hot guy like a t-bone steak, and if he is hot enuff you dont caare about the rest. My point is don't place all the sex interst on us, and us your heads, u know what vibes your getting from him.
 simplesous
Joined: 5/27/2012
Msg: 294
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/3/2012 10:50:19 AM
For starters, I think it is important to remember that if a man doesn't want to have sex with you from the start, he doesn't want to date you either. No sexual attraction = no dates.

Yes, sometimes men ask me out and as it turns out they ONLY want sex from me and that is frustrating. One thing these men all seem to have in common is that they are outside of my league, so to speak. They tend to be better looking that the average man who would date me, or they have impressive jobs. I think they are deliberately stepping down a notch or two because it's easier for them to get laid. I don't blame them for that as I think it is a similar dynamic as friend zoning a less than undesirable guy, the only difference is the male does it to easily fulfill sexual needs and the female does it for emotional needs. All I can do is be true to myself and my needs, without playing games or trying to force a guy through hoops. Fortunately, these guys bail pretty quickly. (Just recently I met someone for a drink, who then extended the date to dinner, and then extended to another drink after dinner, and then extended to a night time walk in the park, and then I went home. The next day he emailed me saying he felt we didn't have any chemistry. Looking back on it I realized that he just thought I was worth a shag from the get go... and of course this guy was way out of my league in the first place!)

If every guy you go out with just wants to have sex, you are probably punching above your weight. It's time to date men who are less attractive - easier said than done of course!
 _countryboi92_
Joined: 6/29/2012
Msg: 297
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 11:52:19 AM
the problem is with women love bad boys. The guys that take consideration of a womens feelings, and listen to them turn into the friend zone.
 Kathyew
Joined: 5/14/2012
Msg: 298
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 4:51:43 PM
I am 56 yrs old and my boyfriend is 51 and our sex life is great. Us older women love sex too. I'm proud we met and we satisfy each other greatly in friendship and sexually. We feel we were truly meant to meet on pof and get together.
 campy01814
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 299
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 5:29:59 PM
it really depends on the woman, we as men, and this is gonna sound totally retarded, but we as men look at a girl and think, ya..id do her.. or ya id give it a try with her.

if your one of the "ya, id do her girls. we don't want to hear that.

if your one of the give it a try girls, me on a personal do respet the whole waiting thing.. but i do believe there is a time to either sh%t or get off the pot, if ya wait too long ya just end up in the friend zone.
 campy01814
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 300
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 8/12/2012 5:35:46 PM
actually, i can remember back in the day when they did use one of those wooden handled qtips to get your samples...they poked it in your pee hole then gave it a spin...that was when i was a teenager. nowadays though, your right, it is all done with blood. although when i have it done it doesnt cost me a penny, found a clinic that does it for free.


good idea to get checked out fellas..
 carlierae26
Joined: 9/14/2012
Msg: 307
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 9/22/2012 7:52:05 AM
I agree. But I'll freely admit I'd want that lol
 jason_1977
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 308
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 10/19/2012 10:23:21 PM
I don't do sex with out a strong emotional attachment. Yes there are guys looking for love and commitment. Sex just to have sex does not interest me at all. I know i'm not alone in that.
 hamster55
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 313
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 11/22/2012 10:44:05 PM
I beg to differ, if you want just sex then by all means go ahead. But there lots of guys who want a relationship your age, and feel that sex is way better when you are with someone you actually care about. And as far as men with kids well i also know a few guys with kids, who are not looking for a mother for there kids but a relationship.
 GerHer
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 314
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/12/2013 2:16:45 AM
100% spot on, when a man is interested in more than sex, waiting is not trouble
 GerHer
Joined: 1/14/2009
Msg: 315
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Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/12/2013 2:19:18 AM
I actually run away from woman who wants or accepts having sex on first date, really turns me off. I love challenges and "playing hard to get" is the way to go in my book, and I don't think I'm alone in that camp. Just keep looking, a guy who wants sex early on is only for a one night stand kind of relation
 pmerr
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 316
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/12/2013 2:31:13 AM
I have to say that women want a model for a guy. I am a great guy but cannot get even one response. Women you will get what you get if you want a looser then they are waiting for you. If you want a true relationship loose some weight and put on some make up. DO NOT WEAR WHAT YOU SLEEP IN TO THE STORE.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 318
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/15/2013 9:58:44 AM
I am done with the guys looking for just a sex partner. I believe in waiting for it to be the right time to have sex. Ive been married before and had those FWB relationshps. I am at the point in my life where I want the whole package.

That's just fine. After a divorce I'm sure Booty Calls, and then FWB relationships were a good way to get your "feet" wet... but yeah, you want something more.

But just realize that if you keep finding men who just want sex and nothing else -- they're not that into you. Okay. If you keep meeting/talking with guys who aren't that into you, you know what that means, right? They're usually at least a bit out of your league.

For women it can be a bit confusing, especially online, to gauge what real 'league' you're more or less in... because a guy is willing to temporarily be in contact with a gal or have a FWB thing going on, etc., if she's got some attractive qualities, but he's not that into her (ie He can do better). You have to understand that guys halt it at that point because you're not the best catch in his eyes. Now, if he's on the rebound or whatnot, or in woman-hating mode, few if any girls will be the best catch for him.

But if virtually all the guys you entangle yourself with isn't that into you -- you're aiming too high. It's the same thing for average or below-average Joes out hanging out with really cute girls... at first you think he's got some good game, but he always complains that they just want to be friends, and he's friend-zoned 99% of the time. He's aiming for girls out of his league (and when not out of his league, he has horrible beta-male "game").
 Rickky1969
Joined: 12/26/2012
Msg: 319
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 1/17/2013 1:07:20 PM
if any guy wants you just for sex then kick them to the curb and get a guy like me to take you put and wine you and dine you then see what happens
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