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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?      Home login  
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 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 51
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?Page 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
When I have a FWB and I think I've found someone else that I am interested in being INTIMATE with...that is when I give up my FWB and not before. M y FWB is now just a friend and he gives his blessings. It works both ways. If someone doesn't want to get to know me because of that fine, that's their prerogative. I just don't like the judgements the OP was using. She was being honest. He could have just said..."not for me" and moved on.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 52
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/12/2011 8:30:18 PM

I find that hard to understand... If the FWB is that infrequent, then either they have a low sex drive... or they have other FWB's on the side... and/or are still hooking up with randoms or another steady partner....... Once or twice a month is not going to be enough to satisfy the sex drives of most normal people.... .

What's so hard to understand........alot of us that have/had a FWB did so because we didn't have the time to date or for a real relationship.
Amazing how so many here advocate going without sex instead of "lowering" yourself and having a FWB.......yet only having sex twice a month means you are either lying and screwing others or have a low sex drive
Good gawd.......one cannot win around here!
For me......getting together a couple times a month worked....and sometimes only getting together once in 3 months worked........because that is what I had time for.
Doesn't mean I didn't wish I was getting laid every day.....just means that was the only times we were able to both get away from our responsibilities to enjoy some adult activities.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 53
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/13/2011 5:17:09 AM
What's so hard to understand........alot of us that have/had a FWB did so because we didn't have the time to date or for a real relationship.

So far, the majority of people haven't made an issue of that any more than anyone else that would be in your PAST.
To the best I can tell, the general consensus is that the past remains in the past.

Amazing how so many here advocate going without sex instead of "lowering" yourself and having a FWB.......yet only having sex twice a month means you are either lying and screwing others or have a low sex drive
Good gawd.......one cannot win around here!

That's complete red herring. What people are advocating is not looking for a long term relationship and dating guys while you have an fwb, which is acompletely different thing altogether than an fwb who is in your past.

For me......getting together a couple times a month worked....and sometimes only getting together once in 3 months worked........because that is what I had time for.
Doesn't mean I didn't wish I was getting laid every day.....just means that was the only times we were able to both get away from our responsibilities to enjoy some adult activities.

And apprently, you weren't dating someone while you had that going on, so I do I don't see the problem apart from the same problem you'd have with wanting to remain friends with previous sexual partners. There seems to be a fair number of people who are ok with tha, so you're not exactly going to be a pariah and it has nothing to do with whether that partner was an fwb, an ex husband or a random fling.

You're trying to make this into something it's not. Lots of people have sex outside of a committed relationship. How one goes about that can take all sorts of forms. The only real additional problem an fwb poses is that one is more likely to want to remain friends and carry him along as baggage when the benefits end or stretch the benefits out to overlap with dating. That's a choice, but it has nothing to do with finding a way to have sex every now and then between relationships. I happen to think it's not a very tidy way to do that, but that's me. I'd rather have sex that doesn't come with any strings.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 54
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/13/2011 7:27:38 AM
Red herrings? Make this into something it's not????

Dude.....I was only responding to what mchurch said about sex drives and such

Many in here seem to think people with FWB's are having sex daily or at the least weekly.....
what a few of us are trying to point out is that it could have been a month since we last enjoyed the "benefits".....so if we are going on a date it's not like we just hopped out of our FWB's bed to do so!

You have made it quite clear your girlfriend isn't allowed to be friends with anyone she had sex with before you....yet your best gal pal is a woman that, as an escort, has had sex with the whole town....just not you!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 55
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/13/2011 10:55:56 AM
You have made it quite clear your girlfriend isn't allowed to be friends with anyone she had sex with before you....yet your best gal pal is a woman that, as an escort, has had sex with the whole town....just not you!

And oddly enough, I'm one person who couldn't pay her enough to have sex with her because we're friends. THAT is why she and can be friends. I've never even seen her undressed. She's the last person in the world that my fiancee would ever have to worry about. I don't understand the problem or what that has to do with being friends with former sex partners.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 56
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/13/2011 11:04:36 AM
Because I would trust my partner to hang out with one of his ex's before I would trust my partner to hang out with someone that treats sex as a business.
You have your issues, I have mine! LOL
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 57
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/13/2011 1:26:32 PM

Red herrings? Make this into something it's not????

Dude.....I was only responding to what mchurch said about sex drives and such

Many in here seem to think people with FWB's are having sex daily or at the least weekly.....
what a few of us are trying to point out is that it could have been a month since we last enjoyed the "benefits".....so if we are going on a date it's not like we just hopped out of our FWB's bed to do so!

You have made it quite clear your girlfriend isn't allowed to be friends with anyone she had sex with before you....yet your best gal pal is a woman that, as an escort, has had sex with the whole town....just not you!

That? In a nutshell? Truest thing I've read in weeks and weeks here. (And MsMicki? Thanks for the giggle ~ and for making such a clear point it would be impossible to argue with any sense of logic or reality!)

~OT~ Being that the "majority" of people on this planet have NO interest in POF Forums, and that the vast majority of POF users, in and of their own selves, do NOT post here ~ it seems logical to me that what we're reading in here is a rather itsy-tiny part of societies views on this subject. I've known many people who have FBs and FWBs and I don't recall any one of those people having an abundance of sex on a daily/weekly basis. It's time filler and is not designed (from what I've read here and/or heard first hand) to be the answer for much more than scratching those physical itches some have. And of those people that I personally know who have gone this route ~ when they met someone "special" or a "potential" whatever, the whole FB/FWB thing stopped. I'm sure there are those who don't stop, and they then have to deal with any fall-out from a "potential" that would be miffed/mortified/disgusted or otherwise turned off by the fact that not all people believe in abstaining from sex due to the lack of a "relationship" of a nature other than friendship. JMO
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 58
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/13/2011 2:13:28 PM

So would that mean you wouldn't trust your partner around a Gynecologist too?
I think they tend to treat sex as a business also.... LOL

hmmm.....I'll be sure to notify my (female) gyno that she is in the sex business, and not in the business of treating female health
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 59
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/13/2011 2:28:35 PM
It's time filler and is not designed (from what I've read here and/or heard first hand) to be the answer for much more than scratching those physical itches some have.

Exactly -- that's how it usually is. They're a friend who doesn't want to date, on either side or both, in the end they're cool with that, but what was once sexual tension translates into fooling around once in a while when both single. I can totally understand someone not wanting to do that at all, that's fine... but that doesn't mean it's always hurtful & complicated for everyone else.

But the topic is about if you have one, whether you should have to ditch the friend w/ sexual tension who you may hook up with to scratch an itch here and there BEFORE even stepping into the Dating Scene. IMO, one COULD have a particular flavor of what some call FWB, which in reality is just a casual, no-expectations, open relationship of sorts and not a common FWB, and sure, that would get in the way.

But not all FWB are along the lines of where you're deemed as "seeing someone". Just like not all FWB are complicated and result in hurt.

In the end, it's not about the label -- it's about the description -- are you frequently seeing/banging someone? Okay, I understand... you're not 100% single in every sense at least, and may not be a villan of infidelity, but that's too much for someone else to walk into (if they knew; risk of them knowing something's up is an indicator that it is "frequent", ie getting in even your own way). In a common FWB situation where it's someone you know where it can be an itch to scratch when not looking or in a rut for a while when looking? You're 100% single -- and that's not someone you're frequently hooking up with...

Because a lot of guys will not want to date you if you're dating them and sleeping with someone else.

But what about someone you've gone out on A date with, or about to? That's different than two people datING -- that implies them being an item of sorts (at least non-seriously). Even via email or getting a # -- nobody would want someone who is sleeping with someone else, either.

But going on a date is about the same as exchanging emails as far as anything about exclusivity's concerned. In that very initial stage, of A date set up, or A date gone on (and no early 'exclusivity agreement' had), people don't want the other person even being interested in anyone else if they like the other person. Most don't like but know they can't call foul on the other person if they have another date lined up -- it's the same type of jealousy... they COULD hook up with someone for all they know. Just like "having" a FWB... they COULD hook up with them for all they know. But even with this known, most people aren't expecting exclusivity-off-the-bat.

I think there's a difference between datING and having A date set up with someone.
I think there's a difference between sleepING with a certain someone (implies frequency in the now), and an opp-sex friend who you have slept with before and is (currently) an option to sleep with again.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 60
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/13/2011 5:27:27 PM

He was looking for LTR, but goes to strip clubs on the side?

Someone can't occasionally go to a strip club, but also in the 99% of the rest of their time in life be looking for an LTR? Seems like guilt by association. I don't see how going to a strip club is a contradiction to wanting an LTR, any more than watching a skin flick does.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 61
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/13/2011 5:43:30 PM
But what about someone you've gone out on A date with, or about to? That's different than two people datING -- that implies them being an item of sorts (at least non-seriously).

The reason I was specific in my profile was to avoid the language lawyers whose goal was to debate the finer points of grammar to make it seem like the obvious was confusing if they had something to gain by doing so.

Because I would trust my partner to hang out with one of his ex's before I would trust my partner to hang out with someone that treats sex as a business.

She's a person first and person who has never had sex with me and wouldn't have sex with me even if I broke up with my fiancee, which is the point. Your fwb obviously has no principle against having sex wih you.

You have your issues, I have mine! LOL

Yep, but I guess the difference is that in the dating world what women cared about most was that I didn't have female friends who had slept with me, or had some interest in sleeping with me, so at least my issues were relevant to getting dates with women who cared whether or not they were dating someone who was actually having sex with someone else. I can't think of a more illogical argument than than the one you're trying to make, i.e., that it's worse to have a friend who's never had sex with me and never would, but works as an escort, than a friend who has sex with me, when what you're worried about is whether or not a friend will have sex with me. Fortunately, I didn't run into any women whose logical reasoning was so flawed. The women I met actually realized that a woman who wouldn't sleep with me was less likely to sleep with me that a woman who is sleeping with me, regardless of what she did for a job. It's no different than having a friend who is an attorney. It's bad form and not very smart to ask for free legal advice or hire your friend as your attorney if you want to remain friends.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 62
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/14/2011 7:44:38 AM

In LTR relationship it would be cheating. .

well duh.......but we're discussing dating.......
you know the stage where there are no committments yet...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 63
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/14/2011 10:03:48 AM

The reason I was specific in my profile was to avoid the language lawyers whose goal was to debate the finer points of grammar to make it seem like the obvious was confusing if they had something to gain by doing so.

My point was that there's a difference, to most people, between going out on A date or setting up A date vs two people considered datING each other. It's not that complicated of a concept to differentiate the two.

I like to take it away from any grammar issues that can sound more complex than it is and just break it down to:
- Pre-Dating ("pre-season"): The getting-to-know-ya phase, going out on A date here or there, feeling each other out
- Dating: You have BEEN datING. It's past the getting-to-kn0w-ya phase. It's a given you'll see them again sometime relatively soon, no plans required; by practice of frequently seeing each other or by formal announcement, you're an item.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 64
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/14/2011 12:23:13 PM

My point was that there's a difference, to most people, between going out on A date or setting up A date vs two people considered datING each other.

Well, like with most things, if you have a chance of making a mistake no matter what you do, it's best to err on the side that gives you the best chance of success.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 65
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/15/2011 6:02:02 AM
HUH?
If a FWB was a committed relationship.......it would just be a relationship.
While there may be "rules" in place that both parties have agreed on......it doesn't make a FWB a committed relationship.

It seems every one has their own definitions for all these things........
let alone their own morals......
so it will be impossible to get a general consensus when we all have such different views.
If those that have never had a FWB or don't think it is for them would just simply state that instead of throwing digs at those that have different views.......this thread would be long dead.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 66
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/15/2011 4:39:47 PM
As I've stated several times before, *I* will decide the progression of *MY* dating relationships

This isn't in reference to what YOU or actually anyone "should" do -- it's an assessment of what tends to be or desired for most folks. What you quoted wasn't very complex -- it's a distinct variation easily understood, whether YOU want to go about things a different way or not. It's not an argument against any way that you like things to unfold. But like it or not, many people DO like to not be exclusive or the cusp of exclusivity right off the bat, even if a date went pretty well.

I bring that up, to point out that I'm NOT saying one should keep the benefits part of any friendship or any dating prospect open, when you're exclusive or on the cusp of exclusivity (in practice). It's not trying to be a language lawyer -- it's to say that, whether any of us like it or not, many folks out there like to be 100% single and stay in the getting-to-know-ya phase even after a nice 1st date. I'm making the distinction between the two by a label. If you don't like to be suspended in the getting-to-know-ya phase for very long at all, fine.

I'm just pointing out that different "damage" is done if you have another dating prospect or an optional FWB, if you're in one phase vs the other, that's all.

Well, like with most things, if you have a chance of making a mistake no matter what you do, it's best to err on the side that gives you the best chance of success.

I agree. But see, with you, you make it clear on the 1st date that if it goes mutually well, boom -- practically speaking, you want to be exclusive (but not necessarily serious). That DOES clear things up right there. If they have a FWB -- bye bye benefits, and I'll may write you a postcard some day friend... and bye bye any other dating prospects.

If/when one is in those situations, they don't run into those juggling situations on either side. Just to be clear, I'm not saying one should always, under all circumstances keep their dating prospects or potential benefits from any friends on the table after a 1st date. If you agreed with the other person to go steady, whether it be before, during, or after the 1st, 2nd, 3rd date, etc. -- you should. I'm not saying that one is to rationalize keeping a FWB on the side, while going steady with someone just because it's "too early".

My thing is about By Default -- that people don't expect to go more-or-less steady, nor expect the other person to expect that either (but can happen, yes). And yes, I agree, when it boils down to it -- one should err on the side that gives you the best chance of success. And if one really wants success with Wanted New Girl On 1st Date, they should certainly not risk things... and if that Wanted New Girl On 1st Date wants or implies by everything else, to more-or-less go steady, then yeah, you should swiftly move in that direction if she does or certainly seems to be.... which yes, would mean dropping or putting on indefinite hold any prospects or FWBs one may have.

IMO, many women do not want to go (virtually) exclusive right after a good 1st date.... And yes, I totally understand that even if they don't, but there is visible interest, one shouldn't blindly run around town sleeping with people or anything. However, one should still keep their options open for a little bit unless it's very convincing or an agreement was had on going more or less steady as that 1st date was winding down.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 67
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/15/2011 10:49:30 PM
But see, with you, you make it clear on the 1st date that if it goes mutually well, boom -- practically speaking, you want to be exclusive (but not necessarily serious).

Actually, I made that clear before agreeing to meet so that it was clear why we were meeting or even if there was any reason to meet.

That DOES clear things up right there. If they have a FWB -- bye bye benefits, and I'll may write you a postcard some day friend... and bye bye any other dating prospects.

I still don't understand the ``bye bye any other dating prospects.'' I averaged 2 first dates/week. The most first dates I had in a week was 4. Who did I miss?

My thing is about By Default -- that people don't expect to go more-or-less steady, nor expect the other person to expect that either

I don't get the going steady part. Going on dates one person at a time is not going steady or a relationship. It's an agreement to sh*t or get off the pot. If a woman couldn't figure out whether or not we clicked, we didn't click. I could certainly figure that out without a lot of angst. How long does it take to know you aren't going to be a good match with someone? Regardless of what you do, including nothing, people will assume something, By Default. As long as they are going to assume something, you might as well agree on what it is and set your expectations up front. Otherwise, what you're agreeing to By Default, is to be confused.

IMO, many women do not want to go (virtually) exclusive right after a good 1st date....

I contacted exactly one woman who had a problem dating one person at a time and I talked to at least 100 who
found that appealing, a number of whom contacted me first, including women who had the cliche, ``Friends first'' line in their profiles. I don't really feel like I was deprived of any opportunities.

However, one should still keep their options open for a little bit unless it's very convincing or an agreement was had on going more or less steady as that 1st date was winding down.

If the first date isn't really convincing enough, what's the point in going on a second date? I'm not that inclined to just go socialize.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 68
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/16/2011 7:42:40 AM

m_church:
It's been my experience that MOST of the women I have dated have been quite happy to be exclusive and or serious after the first date... I was more often than not the one who didn't want that...
I'd say, based on my own experience that wanting exclusivity can actually be a plus rather than a downside when dating...


Interesting. I would say that with the women I have dated, it would run around 50-50. Half of them wanted to be exclusive very quickly (first or second date, and sometimes even before the first date ). The other 50%, not so much. They wanted to take their time, keep their options open.

I think a lot of this has to do with just how attracted someone is. If the woman is thinking to herself, "Neh, he'll do in a pinch, but maybe if I keep looking, the next guy will be better." Then she will date you, but she will not desire to become exclusive right away. Conversely, if she thinks you're the hottest thing this side of a toaster oven, then she wants to lock you up right away.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 69
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/16/2011 9:02:44 AM
Oh this is hilarious!
How many times has someone come onto these forums with a ....
"We only had one date but hasn't called me yet" story.....
and everyone jumps that person telling them to no be so clingy.....they sound desperate.....go on and live your life.....keep meeting new people, etc.

Yet, here we have men saying the exact opposite!
Date me, and only me!
To me.......that sounds not only controlling, but insecure (I want her to only see me because she might meet someone better than me)

and ya'll say women are confusing
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 70
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/16/2011 9:53:01 AM


(MsMicki) It seems every one has their own definitions for all these things........
let alone their own morals......
so it will be impossible to get a general consensus when we all have such different views.

Yes, indeed. I always find it amusing when people try to convince others that their definition, is the definition. It's not the definition of FwB that causes the problems: it's people not understanding that it's the act, and not the definition, that is problematical. Having sex with someone, while dating someone else, is just weird.

Ah, well, to each his/her/its own...

I think it would be weird to a degree also. But if one isn't wanting something more than a casual dating situation? I find it entirely up to that person to deal with their sex life any way they choose to do so. I'm certain that in my adult lifetime I've been on dates with people who had sex with someone the night before they had dinner with me ~ and those people weren't having sex with me, so it was really none of my business. But there will inevitably be those that find my disinterest in someone else's sex life weird. It is another one of those "to each their own" things, for sure.

How many times has someone come onto these forums with a ....
"We only had one date but hasn't called me yet" story.....
and everyone jumps that person telling them to no be so clingy.....they sound desperate.....go on and live your life.....keep meeting new people, etc.

Yet, here we have men saying the exact opposite!
Date me, and only me!
To me.......that sounds not only controlling, but insecure (I want her to only see me because she might meet someone better than me)

and ya'll say women are confusing

I was thinking the VERY same thing.

~OT~ I often times wonder how this whole FWB debate works for those who have SO's yet venture into email-friendships which then enter into phones and then either text-sex and/or phone sex. Yes, I know it's considered cheating, but would it be considered cheating with a friend, in essence? Making it: a friend-with-phone-sex-benefits...??? I happen to know someone who did this deed ~ oddly? He's someone that beats the anti-FWB drum so loudly it's sort of intriguing to me how he can possibly justify his phone antics. But? We all know, we don't all live our lives as we think others should conduct theirs. (Or something like that.) JMO
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 71
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/16/2011 11:00:38 AM
To me.......that sounds not only controlling, but insecure (I want her to only see me because she might meet someone better than me)

Quite the opposite. I met women who had already lined up other first meets and my response to that was meet me last. That never cost me a first meet, so I wasn't too concerned about someone better coming along. You're trying to turn the conceot of not dating people who are having sex with others while dating into an insecurity thing. Do you simply not understand the idea that a lot of people ae opposed to considering a relationship with person who's dating them and having sex with someone else at the same time or what, exactly?

But if one isn't wanting something more than a casual dating situation?

Then I supose no one would care what you do when you aren't together. Why would someone care. They'd probably just have sex wth you and go home later or the next morning or whatever. That's how I would see it.

I find it entirely up to that person to deal with their sex life any way they choose to do so. I'm certain that in my adult lifetime I've been on dates with people who had sex with someone the night before they had dinner with me ~ and those people weren't having sex with me, so it was really none of my business.

So far, I haven't seen any claim otherwise when you're talking about someone the night before or even earlier that day at lunch or someone you don't expect to ever be interested in you for a relatioship, i.e., casual dating, as you mentioned above. So, what are you arguing against, given that no one has disputed either of those situations?
 RioElAmante
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 72
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/16/2011 11:09:19 AM
She a playette.

She's telling you that she's seeing another guy and wants to see if you'll be apart of her team of guys.

It's crazy though..She wants you as the boyfriend and the other just calls her up for sex and tell her to leave.

She must feel that you're a 'nice guy', the bright side is that she was upfront and honest with you.

You want to be seeing her then 6-year later, you find out she was seeing other guys.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 73
She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/16/2011 11:43:40 AM
So far, I haven't seen any claim otherwise when you're talking about someone the night before or even earlier that day at lunch or someone you don't expect to ever be interested in you for a relatioship, i.e., casual dating, as you mentioned above. So, what are you arguing against, given that no one has disputed either of those situations?

I don't know what thread you're reading, but there are posters here who don't like the idea that someone "new" even "made out" with someone else (let alone had sex with someone) within a very short time period of time prior to hypothetical meeting. (And reiterated in this thread: http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14806459.aspx also.) I have no argument for either side of the coin on this particular hypothetical situation as I've been on the receiving end of the "I have a FWB" topic and I've also been on the "I haven't had sex with anyone in ___ months/years" end as well. The only thing that mattered/matters to me is how they conduct their sex life after meeting/dating me should "dating" turn into something "exclusive" in nature. I am, far more interested ~ to know opinions on the proposed extension of the on-topic that I posted. If there is a significant other at home, or in someone's life ~ how does the whole "friends-with-phone-sex" thing work? Maybe you have on opinion on that? Maybe you don't. Maybe others do or maybe they don't. JMO
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 74
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/16/2011 3:26:57 PM

. I am, far more interested ~ to know opinions on the proposed extension of the on-topic that I posted. If there is a significant other at home, or in someone's life ~ how does the whole "friends-with-phone-sex" thing work? Maybe you have on opinion on that? Maybe you don't. Maybe others do or maybe they don't. JMO

Why yes, I am curious as to what others think about this too!
Is it OK to have a friend that you have phone sex or sexting with while dating or in a relationship?
Does this distract from the dating or relationships if there is no actual intercourse involved, just masterbation to someone's words and pictures?
Would you continue to date someone that is engaging in this type of behavior, or would you consider it none of your business if your date/partner was getting off to someone else's sex talk after spending the evening trying to charm you?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
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She was looking for LTR, but has a FWB on the side?
Posted: 12/17/2011 7:51:02 AM
Oh, I completely agree with you Arlo!
Someone that would do this would have the morals of an alley cat!!

Seems some think this is acceptable behavior tho...

Just wondering if those that are so against FWB and ex's being kept as friends felt the same about phone sexing with a new friend?!
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