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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a wa      Home login  
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 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 39
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

Ok, now I am going to get creeped out every time I am on a business call and the guy coughs.


If he yelps and says he just hit is toe on the table....be afraid. Be VERY afraid
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 40
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/17/2011 1:24:06 PM

I love to get him when he is on the phone with a client


Well, before you were just funny.
Now you're creepy.
Really?
Makes one sort of wonder what type of "clients" he has.

 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 41
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/17/2011 1:25:33 PM
Hahahahaha!! Gawd ya gotta luv this sh1t!

So what do you do now? Do you whistle and go "up boy...UP!"

Everyday...3-6 times a day? Hahahahaha!! So now you come here and scream "reel you in?" Oh gawd...I think I just wet myself!

Ahhh, OK let's get serious for a moment. 4 months, sex everyday(whateva amount), breakfast in bed once a week, coffee/tea other mornings. OK gotcha.

So what did YOU do for stud muffin? Did you lay there like some dead halibut, waiting for your daily dose of fun?

Yes after 3 months, the honeymoon is over. Frenetic sex subsides. The rose colored glasses shatter and come off. NOW the work begins, the what you do, to keep the spice in the bedroom. Now I'm not talking about breaking out the handcuffs, whips and satin sheets. But sumthin.

There is no magic phrase, or certain look. It takes imagination to keep things going. No you probably won't get 3-6 times a day(gawd when do they work?) In this world you gotta give to get, and not on your terms, but his as well.

That you would rag on men, cause your expectations aren't being met, seems a bit one sided to me. "I know(and he) that I haven't lost it." OK what do you do, to get him where he wants to go? Aside from the fact that normal for most would be several times a week, your not gonna get back to where the initial lust was. That's a sad fact of life.

I doubt there are any guys on here, that wouldn't want to be able to go 3-6 times a day. He11 I'd bet most would want to go 10 if they could and never leave the bed! It's just not possible, phsyiology and life get in the way.

So again, what do you do to float his boat..er whatever else you want to float?

But railing on all men, believing they don't like affection, cuddling, kissing etc, is horsesh1t. I've been with women, who in a lot less than 4 months, are like "get off me" or "not now" or the old headache thing. Not everybody has a libido that's through the roof.

Maybe you need to buy several hundred batteries for your BOB and let the guy get some swimmers back!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 42
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/17/2011 4:48:07 PM
Some of them would have to be saying it to reel a woman in - unless they really did like it. I'm not why they'd advertise it though - it's fairly personal, or should be. It doesn't work for me really - I think "cornball!" and move on.

They may want to be sure someone wants to hear that before they declare they are into it, and if they are into it - back it up with some actual action.
 xHD1200x
Joined: 11/11/2010
Msg: 43
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/17/2011 5:18:01 PM
I like to drink beersies, and then cuddle and have back rub time and pass out
 pretzelman60
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 44
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/17/2011 5:24:13 PM
I'm sorry, this post is pathetic from the title until the last word. You know not all men are alike, so why ask such a dumb question! Grow up!


JMO
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 45
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/17/2011 5:30:07 PM
In your particular circumstance, OP-if the first few months were actually even HALF of what you claim-hell, the poor guy is plumb wore out!

Generally speaking, I'm sure there are guys who use affection.cuddling, kissing-or promises of same-to "reel in" women.
And I'm sure there are others who don't.
There are, I'm sure, men who are capable of loving a woman from the depths of his very soul, but are not big on the "mushy kissy-face stuff".
I also have no doubt that there are men who smother their ladies with kisses, and more straightforward men who use a pillow to smother her(lol!)-or men who pour on the affection, but will cheat at the slightest opportunity.

Men SAY a lot of things...the 'proof of the pudding' is what they DO.

In your case, OP, I think maybe the guy has kind of "OD-ed"(in a sense) on showering you with all this affection and sex and just has to dial back.
Another possible scenario, the guy may be mildly bi-polar, has been in what for him is a "manic" phase( whch can include hypersexuality,hyper-activity,etc). Now, I mentioned this, but I don't want to alarm you, there are forms of bipolar disorder where the "cycling" is very slow/gradual and never gets to the point of being an impediment to a fairly normal life-but it can be kind of confusing to someone who has recently become close enough to that person to notice the change.
If you know family and/or friends of this man, it might be useful to ask some questions about whether he has a recurring pattern of going into a task, project, endeavor, new relationship with all flags flying and all guns blazing, and about 1/3 -1/2 the way through the proceedings, seems to sort of "run out of gas".( I'm not suggesting that this man has a genuine mental pathology that will make life with him untenable, but he may have a TENDENCY towards somewhat bipolar behavior,that will confuse,and possibly annoy, someone who is in a relationship with him.)

There are about forty'leven different reasons, explanations, or scenarios that could be happening here-my suggestion is that you try to(calmly and quietly) discuss your concerns with HIM.
Cindy O
 Johnnie Freeze
Joined: 3/31/2008
Msg: 46
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/17/2011 7:37:54 PM
any *real* man enjoys affection..as do any emotionally healthy women. Period
 piratidellacosta
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 47
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/17/2011 8:08:03 PM
Noooo some men love affection and cuddling.
But it doesn't have to be given for granted.
Specially women tends to make it an habit, forgetting that there is a meaning behind those gestures!!!
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 48
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men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/17/2011 11:10:51 PM
OP, it varies with the guy -- or the gal.

Personally, I enjoy affection, cuddling, kissing, etc., and it's a fun part of any relationship. But I'll admit that I'm a bit more "into it" in the early stages of a relationship, when I'm trying hardest to romance the lady; it's part of "winning her".

After that, its importance depends more on her. If she continues to enjoy it, responds to it and encourages (or better, initiates) it, I'll continue to be interested in it too; if her interest wanes, mine (in it, and probably in her) will too.
 soicat
Joined: 3/3/2010
Msg: 49
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/18/2011 8:23:07 AM
I don't think the men are trying to dissemble. Sex is easy to obtain. Affection is harder.

The happiest admixture is porn star sex from a little snuggle bunny.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 50
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/18/2011 8:28:08 AM

I don't think the men are trying to dissemble. Sex is easy to obtain. Affection is harder.

The happiest admixture is porn star sex from a little snuggle bunny.



LMAO Shave it beforehand, though... ;-)

 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 51
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men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 11/19/2011 2:04:23 AM

He showed great affection, awesome kissing, out of this world sex 3-6 times a day, and warm cuddling. Not to say breakfast in bed once a week and coffee/tea other mornings

So, you've lost your 'butler'. Now all you have is a boyfriend. I'm only guessing, but maybe he wasn't seeing what he wanted in return. I made breakfast for my ex every day while we were married; I don't think she appreciated that either. Sex 3-6 times a day? No, very few people keep that up indefinitely. They usually have to go back to work at some point!javascript:smilie('')
 cbbull21
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 52
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/3/2011 9:12:31 PM
"cuddling, kissing,etc."
I don't know what those are, but I think I'd like to try it sometime.
P.S. Speaking for myself, I'd rather see and do "I love you"(s ) than just hear it.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 53
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/3/2011 9:23:19 PM
Hormones and endorphins


How to keep em going?

 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 54
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/5/2011 1:11:10 PM
I love cuddling at home. But I don't like public displays of affection.
 pureaussie257
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 55
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/6/2011 1:26:30 AM
My last relationship ended 5 months ago and lasted for 7 months. My ex turned out to be the opposite to what you have experienced. I couldn't walk past him without him wanting a kiss, couldn't cook dinner in peace without his pouted lips interupting me. Couldn't come home and throw myself on the couch without him 'waiting' for me to get home then wanting a kiss. It became unbearable. He insisted I sit next to him to eat dinner instead of allowing my son to sit with me, geez he even helped me peg up the washing and wanted a kissies whilst we hung it up!
So yes there are men who 'show it always'. If you want his number...
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 56
view profile
History
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/6/2011 2:40:07 AM

men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?

A question nearly always posted by a woman who's attracted to alpha guys who basically are just looking for sex. Hey, if that's what you're attracted to, that's what you're going to get. In my life, I've asked out plenty of women that were unhappy with how their previous boyfriends treated them; I got turned down; then saw them go out with exactly the same type of guy who hurt her last time. Ladies, lots of times you get exactly what you deserve. There are plenty of men who love affectionate, romantic play.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 57
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/6/2011 4:03:33 AM

In my life, I've asked out plenty of women that were unhappy with how their previous boyfriends treated them; I got turned down; then saw them go out with exactly the same type of guy who hurt her last time.

So you were attracted to women who picked bad guys and continued to do the same. Dysfunction on both sides of the situation. Men who pick better women don't deal with this. What does that have to do with cuddling?

P.S. I still think it gets posted as something men think we want to hear or as a smothering trait, because it's too personal to post in a profile to a bunch of strangers. If you like to cuddle, please save discussing that for the second or third date.
 AquanGold
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 58
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/6/2011 4:30:16 AM
OP,
You`ve mentioned all the great things your lover was doing, yet you failed to mention what you did for him! A relationship is a 2-way street, and it seems you belive he should only cater to you because you`re having sex with him.
Sounds,like he`s bored of you and is done being the only one showing any emotion or love...
 UniquelyPassionateCandy
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 59
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/6/2011 4:50:53 AM

OP,
You`ve mentioned all the great things your lover was doing, yet you failed to mention what you did for him! A relationship is a 2-way street, and it seems you belive he should only cater to you because you`re having sex with him.
Sounds,like he`s bored of you and is done being the only one showing any emotion or love...


I was thinking the same thing....I read a laundry list of all the things he was doing for you...but not once did you say that it was reciprocal ...Perhaps you should try showing him some affection, cook him breakfast...

On a side note, he almost sounds too good to be real lol especially the sex part...even I am a sex addict and that is like wayyy too much ...When do you have time to sleep? (since you said you do it like 3 times a night) There is such a thing as burning yourself out, perhaps he is burnt out-too much too soon. The sex wouldn't even be fun anymore after that because you would feel like a sex doll...Personally I like sex when it isn't expected all the time and is spontaneous ...Maybe you should dial it down, try taking a break from it...
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 60
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/6/2011 5:42:06 AM
Some Men will say anything to make themselves look awesome. They are known as "fluffers".
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 61
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/6/2011 7:09:24 AM
Of course men like affection and cuddling, just don't need it as much as you and most women seem to. I doubt if it's used just to reel you in. I love to cuddle and hug, it's very comforting. it sounds like you're expecting more of his time than he can give, the honeymoon is not over but now is mixed with the realities of life. sex 3-6 times a day? How long did you expect that to last?
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 62
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/6/2011 7:18:36 AM
too much, too fast....slow down!!!
 vdavid2324
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 63
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/7/2011 6:45:51 AM
I am sorry but if you are gauging your relationship purely on physical attreaction and sex you have the wrong idea about any relationship. There are other factors to consider in all relationships before the cuddling and the sex.
1. Do you enjoy time together?
2. Do you travel together?
3. Does he/she talk bad about you in public around others?
4. Does he/she want to be alone a lot?
5. Does he/she use emotional blackmail to get their way?
Communication should be the litmus test of any relationship. If you two are still communicating then there is hope, but if your whole relatioship is based off of sex or physical needs then it may be time to start asking yourself serious questions about your needs and wants in any relationship.
We live in a world that has a vending machine mentality. We want it now and we want it our way. We think by putting in a quarters worth of verbal attention that we should win the lottery. Life does not work that way, both men and women need to know they are both loved and respected in any relationship.
To be so lost in the emotion of the event that you lose your own identity is not healthy either. You should not be seeking how to fix your current partner in any relationship but how do you maintain that individuality that you came into the relationship with.
I developed a simple test that two people can take to determine the longivity of their relationship. What you do is this. For every year you are together write down on a piece of paper two columns. One should be numbered 1 -10 with the heading “Things they like” and the other column heading should read “Things they dislike”.
For every year or month together add two. So if you both have been together 1 year you will have 4 questions on each column. You will have two on the right hand side and two on the left.
Now take that sheet of paper and write down what you know about each other. If you are only able to answer 2 of the 4 questions this should be a read flag. Again, I will stress this, any relationship that never had established boundaires in the beginning is destine to fail. You cannot give 100% to anyone without losing in the deal and giving more emotional levage to the other partner.
That is when I would consider the cooling down period and try seperating from each other for a couple weeks. This will allow the both of you appreciate the other person again. Now if you are currently in a relationship and living together already this will be difficult to do, but for those who are not living together this will allow you time to re-establish those boundaires and ask the most important question “What are my needs and can this person meet them?”
Iknow this may not be the answer that people want to hear, but please do not kill the messanger.
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