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Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 60
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Of course men like affection and cuddling, just don't need it as much as you and most women seem to. I doubt if it's used just to reel you in. I love to cuddle and hug, it's very comforting. it sounds like you're expecting more of his time than he can give, the honeymoon is not over but now is mixed with the realities of life. sex 3-6 times a day? How long did you expect that to last?
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 61
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/6/2011 7:18:36 AM
too much, too fast....slow down!!!
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 62
men say they love affection, cuddling, kissing etc. is this just a way to reel you in?
Posted: 12/7/2011 6:45:51 AM
I am sorry but if you are gauging your relationship purely on physical attreaction and sex you have the wrong idea about any relationship. There are other factors to consider in all relationships before the cuddling and the sex.
1. Do you enjoy time together?
2. Do you travel together?
3. Does he/she talk bad about you in public around others?
4. Does he/she want to be alone a lot?
5. Does he/she use emotional blackmail to get their way?
Communication should be the litmus test of any relationship. If you two are still communicating then there is hope, but if your whole relatioship is based off of sex or physical needs then it may be time to start asking yourself serious questions about your needs and wants in any relationship.
We live in a world that has a vending machine mentality. We want it now and we want it our way. We think by putting in a quarters worth of verbal attention that we should win the lottery. Life does not work that way, both men and women need to know they are both loved and respected in any relationship.
To be so lost in the emotion of the event that you lose your own identity is not healthy either. You should not be seeking how to fix your current partner in any relationship but how do you maintain that individuality that you came into the relationship with.
I developed a simple test that two people can take to determine the longivity of their relationship. What you do is this. For every year you are together write down on a piece of paper two columns. One should be numbered 1 -10 with the heading “Things they like” and the other column heading should read “Things they dislike”.
For every year or month together add two. So if you both have been together 1 year you will have 4 questions on each column. You will have two on the right hand side and two on the left.
Now take that sheet of paper and write down what you know about each other. If you are only able to answer 2 of the 4 questions this should be a read flag. Again, I will stress this, any relationship that never had established boundaires in the beginning is destine to fail. You cannot give 100% to anyone without losing in the deal and giving more emotional levage to the other partner.
That is when I would consider the cooling down period and try seperating from each other for a couple weeks. This will allow the both of you appreciate the other person again. Now if you are currently in a relationship and living together already this will be difficult to do, but for those who are not living together this will allow you time to re-establish those boundaires and ask the most important question “What are my needs and can this person meet them?”
Iknow this may not be the answer that people want to hear, but please do not kill the messanger.
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