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Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 26
Jokes for JokersPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
So a duck walks into a feed store and asks: "Got any duck feed?"
The clerk says: "No, we don't carry that here." The duck leaves.
The next day the duck returns and asks again: "Got any duck feed?"
The clerk says "No, I told you yesterday, we don't carry that here." The duck leaves.
The next day the clerk is in a very bad mood, and again the duck comes in and asks: "Got any duck feed?"
Really annoyed, the clerk says "Look, I've told you for the last two days, we do not carry that here! Now if you come back again and ask me that, I'm going to nail your d*** webbed feet to the ceiling! Get lost!" The duck leaves.
The next day, the clerk is in an even worse mood. The duck comes in again and asks: "Got any...nails?"
"No." replies the clerk.
"Got any duck feed?"
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 27
Jokes for Jokers
Posted: 1/2/2012 12:22:55 PM
A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead".
The operator says, "How do you know?"
He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 28
Jokes for Jokers
Posted: 1/2/2012 12:23:27 PM
Some Hot Shot Pilot!

It seems that a young man volunteered for military service during World War II.

He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola Naval Air Station, skipping recruit training. The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give him his gold wings and assign him immediately to an aircraft carrier in the Pacific.

On his first day aboard, he took off and single-handedly shot down 6 Japanese Zeroes. Then climbing up to 20,000 ft., he found 9 more Japanese planes and shot them all down as well.

Noting that his fuel was getting low, he descended, circled the carrier and came in for a perfect landing on the deck.

He threw back the canopy, climbed out and jogged over to the captain.

Saluting smartly he said, "Well sir, how did I do on my very first day?"

The captain turned around, bowed politely, withdrew his samari sword and replied, "You only make just one velly, velly selious mistake!"
Joined: 11/3/2005
Msg: 29
Jokes for Jokers
Posted: 1/2/2012 7:17:51 PM
Two wives go out for girls night out. Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee. They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with. One used her panties the other grabbed a wreath off of a grave. The next morning one husband called the other and said "no more girls night out! my wife came back with no panties." The other husband said "You thank that's bad? mine came back with a card in her crack that read 'from all of us at the fire station- we will never forget you."
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