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Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 83
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Walking Out during First MeetPage 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Whoa dude what did you say to her at the bar?!?!?!? Lol j/k
Joined: 5/6/2011
Msg: 84
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/30/2011 11:45:11 AM
i am a master of the irish goodbye.
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 85
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:35:28 PM

If she had another guy she was working, she still could have lied and said she needed to leave period.

Wow, yeah. SHE lacks class. How tacky.

It couldn’t possibly be that she wasn’t interested in you, or that you did something wrong, or your three year old pics are less than accurate. She bailed on you because she’s working other guys. Yep. That’s it.

Btw, you should acquaint yourself with “cropping”.

What gets me are the people who have the "I am a prince/princess" complex who flip out if the person they're meeting doesn't turn out to be their perfect fantasy guy/girl they hoped for, and come on POF saying everyone is a liar and a player.

Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 87
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/30/2011 1:38:30 PM
^^Are you trying to say walking out of a place when you've been dating a while is a bad thing? It's not like they don't know where to find you.
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 88
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/30/2011 5:52:54 PM
@snowgoddess: bikini picture...

Back on topic: Cell phones and dating...not a good mix. Technology, isn't it wonderful?

Don't let this bad experience discourage you. Plenty of nice ladies here!
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 89
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/10/2012 11:03:48 AM
That is how some women operate, it is not unusual. kind of like not answering the phone or not writing back , means you gotta get the message indirectly.

Several women have left me like that some for another unkinwn guy they met on our date, usually I get a phonecall back asking for help,( left on the side of the road by a carzy, a player leaves her alone with the hotel bill or the ex bf is hurting her etc...)
sad stuff but not unusual.
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 90
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/10/2012 11:53:28 AM

You sound like a princess bytch. Guys already have to jump through hoops and go through a fifty step process to actually meet a woman in person. Now you add in that a video interview is required as well. If you are this paranoid about dating, you would be the last person I ever want to meet. I don't do video interviews to have a coffee. Are you going to videotape the entire first meet and then analyze it afterwards? First meets are suppose to be fun-not a formal job interview type of process.

Here's a question for all regarding the misrepresenting picture:
Let's say you passed all of the initial tests and you were getting together for a first meet. You walk through the door and see the person, or you're there first and see the person you are to meet. If the person turned out to be a lot more beautiful and gorgeous than their photos, what you freak out and scream "You're a f__king liar. You misrepresented yourself in your pictures. I'm out of here" and storm out in a huff?

What gets me are the people who have the "I am a prince/princess" complex who flip out if the person they're meeting doesn't turn out to be their perfect fantasy guy/girl they hoped for, and come on POF saying everyone is a liar and a player.

If it makes me a biatch, I dont really care. I have way better things to do than meet liars and posers.

Webcams are free with most purchases of a pc these days, laptops have them built in...and since I adopted this strategy, I have not been tricked into meeting losers who post fake pics. Its all good!!

You are not the type of man Id ever want to meet, so you thinkng anything negative about how I operate means absolutely nothing to me.

If you think being 'real' and being willing to show you are real is jumping through hoops, then I would generalize you as lazy. You probably also think sending free emails on a free website is 'hard work'. LOLOL

Good luck!
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 91
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/10/2012 1:10:05 PM
Though I agree with people here that someone like that is not worth our time, I would have written a very terse, follow-up note. Some eloquent version of WTF? For my own personal closure.
Joined: 2/2/2012
Msg: 92
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/13/2012 2:53:47 AM
such a great reply! and totally true
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 93
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/13/2012 5:46:21 AM
I've done it several times. I'd say, "This isn't going to fly. Let's salvage the rest of the evening on our own." and then just go. Neat and to the point.
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 94
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/13/2012 7:10:04 AM

This is all good and well in theory, but there are many women out there who will freak out at the mere mention of chatting on a webcam (after bad experiences with guys 'exposing themselves', or asking the woman to).

Dont I know it.

I dont ask right off...I wait til Im feeling curious enough to want to meet. Then I just tell him Im all for a webcam session, fully clothed to 'see' one another. I dont ask them to stand up and twirl for me...Im not doing it to vette that they have a good body. I tell them, Im doing it to ensure the man on camera matches the face from pics he himself already sent to me.

I am as open as I want the men I chat with to be and I dont ask for anything I myself cannot supply. I offer them to see me as well, to ensure THEY are also not wasting time meeting a fake. It goes both ways. I have chatted with too many men that have had the old bait n switch happen to them, this way ensures that both of us will recognize one another at that first meeting, which is my main goal. I cannot vette anything a stranger tells me, that takes time, but I can vette that thier face matches the pics they sent. It is a good start in the trust building process.

There are ways of asking for a webcam session that are not creepy, and as soon as I think the man in question is going in a direction I am not comfy with it is 1 click of the 'stop' button and it is over.
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 96
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/13/2012 10:03:24 PM
i'm so glad i've never had any of these horror stories happen to me. i guess that's because i'm pretty selective. OP and anyone else that has ever had this happen, when you meet at a bar of all places, that tells you immediately what type of person you're dealing with. if drinking is what's bringing you together, that should be a red flag. the most important thing is if you're gonna meet someone for the first time, let it be someplace or something that you could still enjoy by yourself. that way, if you get left high and dry, you'll still be able to enjoy yourself and count yourself lucky that the ditcher is gone and not wasting anymore of your time.

never force a meet. if your time don't mean nothin', the other person will know it and that leads to these situations. people that have a life of their own know what i mean. if it's totally casual, you got time to spare, no harm in meeting on the fly, go for it. but still make sure you can enjoy your own company, as well as the other person's, if things don't work out the way you want. people that walk out on others shouldn't even be dating anyone, i don't care how bad the date is. they lack communication skills and need to learn what they really want and how to pick better partners. just tell the person how you feel and put the date out of its misery instead of lying. that's the part that really puts your character in question and not many people keep that part in mind. you think you're doing the right thing by lying and walking out, never to return. it's really selfish and that type of person is even worse than the seemingly bad date they're walking out on.
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 98
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/14/2012 4:49:10 PM
I feel sorry for women who meet Bloody Idiots too.
Joined: 6/12/2011
Msg: 99
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/14/2012 6:10:12 PM
I myself would never walk out on someone! But once a man was so rude and obnoxious that he could see I was not buying it! We had drinks and H'ordouvres, we were supposed to stay and have dinner. He said "You are not going to stay for dinner ? I said "No" and "thank you for the drink and food." then left. I couldn't take him anymore! Another I almost walked out on but kept my cool then left together to our separate cars. He was so obnoxious asking me if I liked him. How does someone outright ask that on the first meeting. Too pushy for me!

There are all kinds of people out there!
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 100
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/14/2012 8:25:16 PM
YOU thought all was well.
What did she think?
How were you behaving? Did you appear clingy? desperate?

I'm sorry, but, I have thought about bailing during first meet n' greets before. I'm sorry, if the guy is going to behave inappropriately, I no longer respect him.

And, if I don't respect him, I don't care what he thinks of me. So, I'm bailing - he can hate me all he wants, because, what is more important, is I feel safe away from him.
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 105
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/15/2012 1:37:46 AM
^^^^^^ The poor old coot probably so whipped he doesn't have any confidence left and she shot him down like that. A few more meets like that and he'll go find a bridge to jump off of.
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 106
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/17/2012 9:19:38 PM

The only time I would advocate someone doing this is if she showed up and something about your profile/previous discussions was a full on lie.

I did this when I met a man who was easilyy 20 years older than his profile and additional pics sent to me indicated. He said he was 47...if he was a day younger than 67 Id be shocked. Lie to me, and you wont get any of my time. I will leave you sitting there all the fool.

This 100%, I can't imagine someone seeing pictures and finding out all your details, building a rapport and leaving you in the middle of the date. Obv. there is something missing from the OP's story. Either he was offensive or he lied about his profile in someway.
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 107
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/18/2012 9:11:03 AM
I agree that giving too much attention to your phone on a date is rude. So is misrepresenting yourself on your profile. Therefore perhaps those two things cancel each other out.

I've never had a date walk out on me, nor have I ever walked out, but there are 4 things that have made me want to

1) If a guy smells really bad because he doesn't use deoderant
2) If all a guy talks about is sex and automatically assumes I will be his next playmate because I showed up.
3) If all a guy talks about is his ex and goes on and on and on about his prior relationship.
4) Utterly narcissitic monologue - and then, "enough about me, what do YOU think about ME?"

I will assume that if people walk out on dates with you on a regular basis - that you are doing one of the above things and are pretending you don't know why they left. I bet you know very well why - rudeness begets rudeness.
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 108
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/18/2012 9:14:24 AM

dipstic : I finally got to meet Marie at the mall after chatting with her for a few months.. Later that night when I logged and went to chat with her she cut-out abruptly. Next thing I knew she deleted her profile. A month later I saw her at Zellers, so I went over to greet her "hi Marie, How are you?" sort of thing but just as I began to speak, she stiffened up, rolled her eyes and turned her head

You chatted for months prior to meeting each other. Way too long. Because more often than not, during that first meetup, one or both people don't like what they see.

dipstic : What the hell was her problem? Later that night I did chat with her and I was pissed that she snubbed me the way she did. I was extra nice to her up until that point, but then the gloves came off (figure of speech).

Her attitude towards you dramatically changed after she met you in person, she was no longer interested in speaking to you , and you're wondering what the hell her problem is?

She didn't like what she saw.
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 109
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/18/2012 4:53:29 PM
She was rude, ignorant, & a complete waste of skin. Good thing you found out right away what an azz she is, so you didn't waste any more time on her. There is no excuse for that, no class.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 111
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/24/2012 7:27:44 PM

....but if we meet after an hour of chatting then some will say I was going too fast. I once met a girl for coffee after chatting for only 10 minutes and it didn't work out.

Common sense would dictate that you talk to someone long enough to weed out a wasted meeting but not so long that you develop a faux relationship you have to break off when it's discovered there's no mutual attraction.

To think the two choices are only talking for three months or 10 minutes would be an extreme viewpoint.
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 113
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/24/2012 9:52:31 PM
Time to change restaurants.

You do look like Chad Kroeger from 5 to 10 years ago. Nickelback was better then, too. You could pull off the cousin bit and you would be too busy to be here.
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 116
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/27/2012 12:03:24 AM
The only guy I ever actually bailed out on was a dude that showed up drunk... ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, plus a bottle of expensive wine, which he drank himself, made an ass of himself with the waitress, then said he had left his wallet at home and could I get the bill.... I told him I left my wallet in my car and went out "to get it" and drove away.

I did call the place and apologize to the waitress .
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 117
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/27/2012 1:13:41 AM
Time for wallet/purse check at the door.
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 121
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 2/27/2012 4:38:50 PM
dip, NEVER wait 2 months to meet, if she won't meet after 2 weeks, cut bait!

2 months, well your on line, how many contacts do you have in 2 months? Don't forget, women get more. She could have met someone else, but wanted to be sure she was more interested in him than you. So she met you, then blew you off after.

It happens. My yardstick is 10 or so emails, 5 phone calls, this should take 10 days to 2 weeks, depending on how often someone is online. If at the end of the 10 days to 14 day period they don't want a face to face, they are wasting your time!

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