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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 15
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Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

Comments, feedback, sympathy....anyone? I would like for this never to happen to another person for sure. And at this point I don't if he will continue to be psychotic and keep leaving messages or what!


You met a wacko..what can anyone say?

It happens, just about to everyone, sooner or later.

It simply happens. You can't predict when they go off on you sometimes.

Block, forget, move on.
 amethystdancer14
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 16
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:57:22 PM
OP I had a similar experience, where I wasn't quite sure but gave the guy a chance and went out for coffee and knew then that he wasn't right for me. I did what I believed was the fair and honest thing and told him as gently as possible that I felt we weren't suited and he went on with abusive phone calls and texts for about 3 days. I called the police and told him I had called the police and he stopped - I assumed that possibly he had been in trouble before this sort of behaviour. Scarily he was a high school teacher - it concerned me that he worked with impressionable teenagers. However possibly the thought of losing his job is what also stopped him because here in Australia you can't work for the government or with minors if you have a police record.

I hope this guy has stopped, but be prepared that if he starts again that the best thing besides going to the police is to change your phone numbers. I know its a pain in the butt, but its a clear message to him that he can't contact you anymore. And it will give you some peace of mind.
 Watermanmax
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 17
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/23/2011 8:04:15 PM
you are not alone!!!!! Last nigth i emailed someone - nice chat in chat - then had a chat on the phone. I was agressive, judgemental etc etc........Wha...!

But its all good she has promised to discuss me with her therapist and then tell me what my problem is... sorta kinda speechless... blocked....happy now.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 18
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/23/2011 10:24:44 PM
I'm a psycho magnet here.

I get " I am in love with you" in first
emails.

God man.

I have some really creepy strories. That's why
I really hesitate to even answer emails.

I had one guy I had to shut down that was stresssing
me out so bad-I was losing my hair.

I don't give out my phone number anymore until
I'm either absolutely sure or they are law enforcement.

I'm so done here.

I totally feel your pain.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 19
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 8:09:49 AM

RockabillyPaGirl : Get yourself a cheap PREPAID cell for your online dating prospects.


I think that's a bit over the top. It's easy enough to block someone however it's always possible for them to find out where you live once they've got your number via paid "background check services".

People are weird, people can be stalkerish.. but is it really THAT bad that you have to go to such extreme lengths to protect yourself from a person who you've never actually met? Most of these real life stalker problems that go so far as violence are usually (if not always?) the result of a relationship gone bad.. most often the dumpee (who has some serious problems to begin with but then they fall apart under the stress of the breakup) can't accept that it's over and they have a meltdown and start shooting up their ex's workplace or something.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 20
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 8:52:27 AM

Get yourself a cheap PREPAID cell for your online dating prospects. NEVER give out your personal number just for cases such as these.


I actually have another cell number for a small business
I started. I hate giving out my number unless I'm
absolutely sure now.

I think this is a very good solution. I'm majorly
paranoid to give my number.

I hate when someone talks to you and is instantly
in love with you. It scared the shit out of me.

Only a few people who I actually still see here know where
I live. I don't even want anyone knowing where
I live.

Like I said- unless I'm absolutely sure or he is in law
enforcement do I take the chance. That is few
and far between.

I learned my lesson.
 StealthyNinjaKitty
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 21
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 9:40:50 AM
I'm so glad my phone gives me the option to "blacklist" any number I no longer wish to receive texts or calls from...they won't show up unless I unblacklist someone :)
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 22
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 11:15:42 AM
Well OP, you learned a good lesson. When your gut tells you it wont work, listen to it right away.

A stranger who rubs you the wrong way is not entitled to second chances...and lets face it-you dont know who you are really dealing with so block, delete and move on as fast as you can. To do otherwise is unwise and can end up being unsafe if it goes on too long.

Just know that most men in here are not like this-but the few nuttters make everyone look bad.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 23
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 11:35:15 AM
You had a tingling feeling that he wasn't quite right very early on. You have to learn to listen to it.

Any red flags - ANYTHING - end all contact, especially when it's this early on.

There are a lot of nuts out there. Don't engage with them. Ignore them. Block them.

Also - check with your telephone company. Many allow you to screen out a number. You can simply block him from your land-line and I think they get a message along the lines of 'Not accepting your calls at this time'. I have done this in the past with persistent cold callers.
 NonRushingDad
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 24
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 1:45:55 PM

I don't give out my phone number anymore until
I'm either absolutely sure or they are law enforcement.

I'm not sure why you would give a pass on a person in law enforcement, as actions at OWS show you, they have their fair share of wackos. I can go back several years here where I live and the women's lives that have been ruined by traffic stops.... No, you need to use the same assessment on everyone..
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 25
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 2:05:38 PM
8 years ago I BRIEFLY dated someone from real life who turned out to be nutsy-koo-koo...he made scenes in public @ the end...I got away thank goodness...today I saw him when I was leaving a restaurant w/ my 2 sons- he saw me... I ran to the car, literally, w/ my doggie bag practically flying out of my hands....so nut jobs aren't just on the net, they're everywhere
 curvesweetblonde99
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 26
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 2:44:20 PM
Oh wow, that's just nuts!!! I had my share of lunatics but the best one was this one guy I talked to when I came home a little tipsy (and I rarely drink, so a glass of red wine will put me under the table) and chatted with this cute guy via email and then gave him my phone number. We chatted that night and he seemed alright, kinda pushy, but he had a cute little mexican accent (which I admit I am a sucker for) so I just kept blabbing away, oblivious to all the red flags. Then in the morning I looked at his profile again and saw he was super cute, but wasn't really my type (and I told him so) but he kept calling, and calling and caalllllllllllling me like an obsessive freak, his voice mails getting more and more insulting and abusive each time. So I blocked him on pof and figured that was that. WElllllll, the next day he SHOWS UP at my work, makes a huge scene, yelling at me and my coworkers who tried to throw him out. When they were dragging him out he was yelling and (I think) crying that he loves me and a bunch of other creepy weird nonsense. I was terrified!!!! At first I had no idea how the hell he knew where I worked, but apparently I told him the first time we talked (another reason why you should never go on pof when tipsy). Eventually, he gave up and stopped calling/texting me - after I changed my phone number and told him the next time he showed up at my work I was calling the cops. Now I never give my number out. I let them give me their number and I call them after blocking my number. And I never drink and dial anymore either. Lesson learned!!
 lisboeta
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 27
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Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 3:05:57 PM
Guys like that should be shamed!! Theres too many crazies out there. friendship and trust are lost theses days because of donkeys like these freaks. They are abusive and mental . If POF had a score chart you would be able to give THEM a BIG ZERO and everyone else would be wary of THEM.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 28
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 5:32:37 PM
Unfortunately, you don't know they are
psycho until you engage with them.

Then all he'll breaks loose.

No thank you. I will go back under my
rock where my polka dot curtains don't
scare me.

There are ways around it like the cell phone thing
but seriously- it starts out innocent. Just an
innocent email. It leads to the phone. Then the
innapropriate text.

I remember my mom needed something. I had to break
a meet with someone. Jesus man, you would have
thought I was dating this guy. The passive aggressive
bullshit he was spewing was amazing.

It actually scared the shit out of me.

I just never answered him after I told him to
fcck off.

Finally it stopped but I don't know- scary shit.
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 29
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 6:36:34 PM
Email, text, voicemail=it's easy to verbally abuse, much like hiding in a car and spewing road rage.
In both cases--these people are revealing their true hostility, but the impersonal mediums make them feel it's not "actual", relatively anonymous.
Irl--more men don't dare say this stuff--often they have no guts irl.
In fact, no one ever said kind of thing to me in a social setting (but they have online) --
ask about public hair, use the C word, rant and verbally abuse someone who was polite to them, talk sex with a stranger, ask about feet fetishes, ETC.

I've had vile, and hateful comments by creeps irl whilst walking by and I know it's the rancid grapes women subjugation bs and finally learned- acting blase pisses them off the worst.
I'm not suggesting you do that--watch your back on these weirdos. I do that so my day isn't ruined by interacting with them. I try not to be surprised, but it's always a disappointing spectacle--grown men- pathetic.
I guess online and street harassment look similar, too often, creepies in metaphorical overcoats frustrated by failures--any reaction is titillating, the payoff--if you can't win, ruin their day, verbally abuse, make them feel bad.
Don't feel bad and waste brain space.
OP, I'd say be very, very choosy--go through all this only for someone you really want to know vs " being polite" and set up firewalls--don't reveal anything traceable-- last name, general neighborhood, company, phone, etc. until you have verified he's likely sane/honest, and that takes time.
It only takes 1 to ruin everything.
 Magina314
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 30
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/27/2011 2:09:59 PM
Conspiracy Theory:

It's internet trolling, nobody actually has these types of repulsive personalities. They are just doing it to get a rise out of you. When they see you posting your experience on the forums, they are entertained.

Kinda like how viruses are transmitted over the internet. The guys who create the viruses, also create the anti-virus software to remove it.
 Happy2Day
Joined: 2/10/2011
Msg: 31
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/27/2011 10:10:17 PM
Hey can you mail me this guys name. I'm local - and trying to avoid what happened to you with "him" if I can.
 lisboeta
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 32
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History
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/28/2011 6:04:43 PM
Totally agree! the least one can do is look out for our sisters. Also you can report him. There is a feature that allows you to do that on his profile page. Any men that is abusive should be flagged.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 33
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Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:07:24 PM

Sorry OP this must be really tough for you.

you DIDNT orchestrate this at all! ^^^

this was a nutjob psycho who thankfully who never had the misfortune to meet!


Sorry but yes she did. She repeatedly gets a bad vibe or decides that this guy is not the one for her and should have ended the process. But instead she keeps moving forward even though she see's that this is not working out. and then surprise, she was giving the benifit of the doubt to a jerk.
When you gamble on a person that has shown themselves to be unfit, it's just that. A gamble. One that she lost this time.

But in her own post she says over and over that this was a poor idea...

our first few exchanges of emails the communication was a little off but I tried to go back and forth a bit - step out of my box and give him the benefit of the doubt of getting to know him.

[quoteI have been trying to not be so hung on my first impression of a photo and tell myself people deserve chances...hmmm. So I gave it a try even after I was hesitant.


or rather he listened to himself talk to me for a long time. I barely got a word in and he dominated the convo and everyday I said I did or liked he was better at or topped me in someway - ugh! Lots of red flags came up for me in the conversation and I was like hmmmm - I don't know about this one.



I mean I wanted to give it at least the offline chance and not jump to conclusions or judgement. But we made no plans and he ended the convo saying he'd leave it up to me or whatever ...ok...



He sent a sarcastic relpy but I was thinking from our previous convo that this was just his personality. .


...more smart remarks like well don't let me bother you blah blah and then he started talking to hear himself talk again and the convo was short...I said have a good night!

... and on and on and on. At what point does one take responsibility for the situation and simply understand that this guy has shown her repeatedly who he is and she should believe him? At what point does one stop replying to a stranger trying to provoke a fight/argument?
She orchesrated this unfortunately and hopefully has learned a lesson.

 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 34
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/2/2011 12:04:00 PM
I've had a cyberstalker for about three years now. It's no fun. This person hacked into my ebay account and ordered a bunch of stuff, tried to have pizzas delivered to my place of work so I would have to pay for them, called me hundreds of times a day, sent multiple letters to my house, hacked and changed the passwords on all of my email addresses and dating sites except this one. And I've never even met her. Some people are just cukoo.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 35
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/2/2011 12:07:02 PM

the communication was a little off but I tried to go back and forth a bit - step out of my box and give him the benefit of the doubt of getting to know him.



Lots of red flags came up for me in the conversation and I was like hmmmm - I don't know about this one. Signs were there


- This is your intuition telling you that something is wrong. Next time, listen to it.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 36
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/2/2011 1:27:09 PM
It's happened to me a lot, in the past. Now I just don't give out my phone number until I have some comfort with the email messages. Even then, it's often been a mistake. If I go back to serious dating, I will get a phone just for that. I have to keep my regular line on and it can't dare ring at work, and I often work where the is absolutely NO phone signal. The thing I hear often from others like me is that their spouses and lovers refuse to believe the no signal things is possible and they take it as a rejection lie. Causes trouble. They also often refuse to believe a call can't be taken at work. I had a problem with a local guy who kept texting me in the middle of the day (I work nights) even when I told him that I was going to sleep and I said that I keep my phone on for my daughters, so I would appreciate it if he would wait until the late afternoon to call/text. FOUR times, he woke me up for stupid pointless messages, one day and I blocked him with an explanation why. I see him sometimes in town and he gets hateful with me in tone or expression. Gee, why is he lonely?
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 37
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/3/2011 10:33:58 AM

8 years ago I BRIEFLY dated someone from real life who turned out to be nutsy-koo-koo... so nut jobs aren't just on the net, they're everywhere


Yes, they are.

My whackjob left me ten or so pages of melodramatic lunacy, telling me (among other things) that he would love me and no one else forever and that he’d be waiting for me at the pearly gates with St. Peter.

Jeez, the drama!!

OT: Not that it needs to be said yet again….trust your gut sooner; end it quickly and completely.
 forumfan4
Joined: 2/22/2011
Msg: 38
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/5/2011 9:39:20 AM
I have had this happen to me many times!!! Some were with guys I had just spoken to on POF a few times, some were ones I had exchanged #'s with, and one was even one who I went on 2 dates with. He was very immature, very rude to others during the date, made disgusting sexual comments towards me, and just was a complete idiot all around. I decided to ignore his calls and texts AND emails, he continued to harrass me on here and via text over the next few months. When I wouldnt answer him, he started with the shit talking of how I was "too fat anyways" etc. Some guys are just psycho dumbasses.
 FedFireRon
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 39
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/10/2011 9:13:29 AM
You need to get a phone that you dont have to pay for app?
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