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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 lisboeta
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 36
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Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Guys like that should be shamed!! Theres too many crazies out there. friendship and trust are lost theses days because of donkeys like these freaks. They are abusive and mental . If POF had a score chart you would be able to give THEM a BIG ZERO and everyone else would be wary of THEM.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 37
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 5:32:37 PM
Unfortunately, you don't know they are
psycho until you engage with them.

Then all he'll breaks loose.

No thank you. I will go back under my
rock where my polka dot curtains don't
scare me.

There are ways around it like the cell phone thing
but seriously- it starts out innocent. Just an
innocent email. It leads to the phone. Then the
innapropriate text.

I remember my mom needed something. I had to break
a meet with someone. Jesus man, you would have
thought I was dating this guy. The passive aggressive
bullshit he was spewing was amazing.

It actually scared the shit out of me.

I just never answered him after I told him to
fcck off.

Finally it stopped but I don't know- scary shit.
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 39
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/24/2011 6:36:34 PM
Email, text, voicemail=it's easy to verbally abuse, much like hiding in a car and spewing road rage.
In both cases--these people are revealing their true hostility, but the impersonal mediums make them feel it's not "actual", relatively anonymous.
Irl--more men don't dare say this stuff--often they have no guts irl.
In fact, no one ever said kind of thing to me in a social setting (but they have online) --
ask about public hair, use the C word, rant and verbally abuse someone who was polite to them, talk sex with a stranger, ask about feet fetishes, ETC.

I've had vile, and hateful comments by creeps irl whilst walking by and I know it's the rancid grapes women subjugation bs and finally learned- acting blase pisses them off the worst.
I'm not suggesting you do that--watch your back on these weirdos. I do that so my day isn't ruined by interacting with them. I try not to be surprised, but it's always a disappointing spectacle--grown men- pathetic.
I guess online and street harassment look similar, too often, creepies in metaphorical overcoats frustrated by failures--any reaction is titillating, the payoff--if you can't win, ruin their day, verbally abuse, make them feel bad.
Don't feel bad and waste brain space.
OP, I'd say be very, very choosy--go through all this only for someone you really want to know vs " being polite" and set up firewalls--don't reveal anything traceable-- last name, general neighborhood, company, phone, etc. until you have verified he's likely sane/honest, and that takes time.
It only takes 1 to ruin everything.
 Magina314
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 40
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/27/2011 2:09:59 PM
Conspiracy Theory:

It's internet trolling, nobody actually has these types of repulsive personalities. They are just doing it to get a rise out of you. When they see you posting your experience on the forums, they are entertained.

Kinda like how viruses are transmitted over the internet. The guys who create the viruses, also create the anti-virus software to remove it.
 Happy2Day
Joined: 2/10/2011
Msg: 41
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/27/2011 10:10:17 PM
Hey can you mail me this guys name. I'm local - and trying to avoid what happened to you with "him" if I can.
 lisboeta
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 42
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History
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/28/2011 6:04:43 PM
Totally agree! the least one can do is look out for our sisters. Also you can report him. There is a feature that allows you to do that on his profile page. Any men that is abusive should be flagged.
 Dulcinea66
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 43
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 11/30/2011 9:55:20 PM
You can get a free number through google voice. When someone calls that number, your phone will ring but they won't know it.
I had a scary stalker experience too and actually met him in person twice and then he flipped out on me and it took me a month to get him to stop. I finally told him I'd go to the police and show them his texts and voice mails... Which I have still kept since pof didn't delete his account and he is still on here and still looks at my profile!!
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 44
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Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:07:24 PM

Sorry OP this must be really tough for you.

you DIDNT orchestrate this at all! ^^^

this was a nutjob psycho who thankfully who never had the misfortune to meet!


Sorry but yes she did. She repeatedly gets a bad vibe or decides that this guy is not the one for her and should have ended the process. But instead she keeps moving forward even though she see's that this is not working out. and then surprise, she was giving the benifit of the doubt to a jerk.
When you gamble on a person that has shown themselves to be unfit, it's just that. A gamble. One that she lost this time.

But in her own post she says over and over that this was a poor idea...

our first few exchanges of emails the communication was a little off but I tried to go back and forth a bit - step out of my box and give him the benefit of the doubt of getting to know him.

[quoteI have been trying to not be so hung on my first impression of a photo and tell myself people deserve chances...hmmm. So I gave it a try even after I was hesitant.


or rather he listened to himself talk to me for a long time. I barely got a word in and he dominated the convo and everyday I said I did or liked he was better at or topped me in someway - ugh! Lots of red flags came up for me in the conversation and I was like hmmmm - I don't know about this one.



I mean I wanted to give it at least the offline chance and not jump to conclusions or judgement. But we made no plans and he ended the convo saying he'd leave it up to me or whatever ...ok...



He sent a sarcastic relpy but I was thinking from our previous convo that this was just his personality. .


...more smart remarks like well don't let me bother you blah blah and then he started talking to hear himself talk again and the convo was short...I said have a good night!

... and on and on and on. At what point does one take responsibility for the situation and simply understand that this guy has shown her repeatedly who he is and she should believe him? At what point does one stop replying to a stranger trying to provoke a fight/argument?
She orchesrated this unfortunately and hopefully has learned a lesson.

 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 45
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/2/2011 12:04:00 PM
I've had a cyberstalker for about three years now. It's no fun. This person hacked into my ebay account and ordered a bunch of stuff, tried to have pizzas delivered to my place of work so I would have to pay for them, called me hundreds of times a day, sent multiple letters to my house, hacked and changed the passwords on all of my email addresses and dating sites except this one. And I've never even met her. Some people are just cukoo.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 46
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/2/2011 12:07:02 PM

the communication was a little off but I tried to go back and forth a bit - step out of my box and give him the benefit of the doubt of getting to know him.



Lots of red flags came up for me in the conversation and I was like hmmmm - I don't know about this one. Signs were there


- This is your intuition telling you that something is wrong. Next time, listen to it.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 47
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/2/2011 1:27:09 PM
It's happened to me a lot, in the past. Now I just don't give out my phone number until I have some comfort with the email messages. Even then, it's often been a mistake. If I go back to serious dating, I will get a phone just for that. I have to keep my regular line on and it can't dare ring at work, and I often work where the is absolutely NO phone signal. The thing I hear often from others like me is that their spouses and lovers refuse to believe the no signal things is possible and they take it as a rejection lie. Causes trouble. They also often refuse to believe a call can't be taken at work. I had a problem with a local guy who kept texting me in the middle of the day (I work nights) even when I told him that I was going to sleep and I said that I keep my phone on for my daughters, so I would appreciate it if he would wait until the late afternoon to call/text. FOUR times, he woke me up for stupid pointless messages, one day and I blocked him with an explanation why. I see him sometimes in town and he gets hateful with me in tone or expression. Gee, why is he lonely?
 AxYoM
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 48
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/2/2011 4:33:58 PM
This is all too common. People hurt or rejected redirecting and blaming you, aka gaslighting. I've had it happened and basically had to threaten stalking charges it get it to stop. I only have a cell phone and I'm not eager on giving the number out. With some companies / apps you can block the caller.

Be thankful you saw his true nature before meeting in person.

File this one for the story books. Take a deep breath and try again.
 lacalli
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 49
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/2/2011 6:05:33 PM

How the hell do I move on from this to even consider "talking" offline with someone let alone meeting them. Had I met this whacko and rejected himfor real in person I could be in a dumpster in several trash bags!!!! I was skeptical before and now I'm just down right ..I dunno...I have no words!

I highly doubt you'd end up in a dumpster. Those types (often found on here) are cowards. The scary ones are far more slick and manipulative. However, it was a wake up call not to ignore red flags. After the first few minutes next time you'll know to end the conversation and never respond to calls or emails.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 50
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/3/2011 10:33:58 AM

8 years ago I BRIEFLY dated someone from real life who turned out to be nutsy-koo-koo... so nut jobs aren't just on the net, they're everywhere


Yes, they are.

My whackjob left me ten or so pages of melodramatic lunacy, telling me (among other things) that he would love me and no one else forever and that he’d be waiting for me at the pearly gates with St. Peter.

Jeez, the drama!!

OT: Not that it needs to be said yet again….trust your gut sooner; end it quickly and completely.
 AdGirl8
Joined: 8/26/2011
Msg: 51
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/3/2011 9:59:04 PM
If your "weirdo" alert goes off - YOU SHOULD LISTEN! If your willing to talk with someone buy a disposable cell - that way you can always chuck it!
 forumfan4
Joined: 2/22/2011
Msg: 52
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/5/2011 9:39:20 AM
I have had this happen to me many times!!! Some were with guys I had just spoken to on POF a few times, some were ones I had exchanged #'s with, and one was even one who I went on 2 dates with. He was very immature, very rude to others during the date, made disgusting sexual comments towards me, and just was a complete idiot all around. I decided to ignore his calls and texts AND emails, he continued to harrass me on here and via text over the next few months. When I wouldnt answer him, he started with the shit talking of how I was "too fat anyways" etc. Some guys are just psycho dumbasses.
 FedFireRon
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 54
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/10/2011 9:13:29 AM
You need to get a phone that you dont have to pay for app?
 CuriousCat1300
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 55
Completely psycho after only a few emails/converstions
Posted: 12/12/2011 7:15:06 AM
Dear prtybrwneyes:

You made a crucial mistake and one so typical for a woman: YOU ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BE REASONED OUT OF YOUR INTUITION. It is obvious to me that you had your gut telling you something is wrong, but you just kept rationalizing it. I bet you also were preoccupied with how he would feel if you cut him loose right away.

What do you think intuition is for? Your gut knows everything, your mind does not. Let this be a lesson. From now on, when you start getting creepy vibes from anyone, stop the contact right there. -Or else you will end up in a dumpster.

-And don't worry about how they think or feel. I promise you, they don't care how you feel.
Love yourself first and good luck fishing!

Curious Cat
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