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 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 28
men asking why and how you're singlePage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

"why are you still single you seem so great"


I get asked this question a lot. Not on here but on FB mainly. Usually when chatting with someone new...I often say that I'm picky. Most of the time they say good for you.

I don't see it as a put down nor a compliment...
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 29
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/25/2011 6:43:38 PM

"why are you still single you seem so great"

Every girlfriend I ever had asked me that question on the first or second date.
Pretty much any woman I ever dated twice has asked me that question.

I always had the same answer: "I'm not looking for marriage. I have not found any woman I've wanted to marry."
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 30
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History
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/25/2011 6:54:49 PM
Msg.#1:

Women asked that too, I told them I am not the marrying type.. If I were in your case I would reply to the guy," Perhaps I am waiting for you, who knows"..........
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 31
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:30:07 AM
I've been asked that a lot but the qustion never bothered me. I tell them the truth,that I was busy working & raising my kids, & didn't have a lot of time for dating. I also haven't met the right one yet.
 Here_In_Florida
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 32
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:35:04 AM
A rather common response is, what I keep hearing is:

"I'm single by choice"

Which can raise other questions, so it's like a perpetual question making machine.


I've been asked that a lot but the qustion never bothered me. I tell them the truth,that I was busy working & raising my kids, & didn't have a lot of time for dating. I also haven't met the right one yet.


Yeah, it's pretty easy to come up with an answer to that. Though I think usually the person who asks that question think there's some other underlying issue that's not being revealed to them.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 33
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men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 8:05:34 AM
Maybe a more important question would be "how long have you been single"

After all, if someone has been single "by choice" for 10 or more years chances are theyre so stuck in their ways they will continue making that choice till theyre in a wooden box

And if they grew up in a home where their only parent was also "single by choice" theres perhaps a pattern forming which wouldnt make aiming for anything serious with that person particularly wise
 The1Artist
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 34
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 11:02:37 AM
Now here are my top 10 quick easy answers for "Why are you still single?"....

1. Well, I am just here for the free rejection. And ohhhhhh man, this is easy. Before I actually had to go outside and stuff. But now I can get completely rejected from the comforts of my own home. AAAWWWWWEEeeeeeeSSSooooommmmmeeeee!!!!
2. Because I just love hearing this question….
3. Just lucky, I guess….
4. This gives my mother something to live for hoping I actually meet someone who is not a complete moron.
5. What? And lose all the time and money I've invested into online dating sites? Yeah right!
6. I really don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
7. Who the hell would look after all my (insert favorite pet here)?
8. My therapist tells me I should concentrate on my imaginary friends before trying to meet new people.
9. Honestly, being a secret crime fighting vigilante doesn’t really give me a lot of spare time to play with after breaking heads and dodging bullets all night. But if you want to go out some night, and you don't die, I suppose we can have a second date. But I should warn you, no one have ever made it past a third date though....
10. Because my mother and friends warned me about people like you….

And a bonus:

Because I think dating would cut too much into other career as a pornstar. Now if you excuse me, they want me on set....


The1Artist
 BSradar925
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 35
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 1:41:36 PM

I'll be emailing a guy and on the first or second response all of sudden he asks "why are you still single you seem so great"


Take it as an indirect compliment and don't let it bother you. Tell him "thank you for the compliment" and that you have not found the right one yet
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 36
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 1:49:57 PM
I get that line, as well. I refrain from saying, "Because only men who ask stupid questions contact me on POF."
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 37
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:28:27 PM
Personally I find it a judgemental insulting question.
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 38
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:45:23 PM
Wow, some of you are so jaded and quick to assume some negative connotation in everything. Why would they mean it in an insulting manner? They're single themselves as well aren't they?
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 39
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 4:52:07 PM

Personally I find it a judgemental insulting question.


Because you judge yourself as soon as the question drops hu.

"dont"

Noone else is.

[Dont like what you see when judgement arises; make some changes, then realize the good sides]

 paulj_1068
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 40
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 5:05:54 PM
Based on the replies it seems like a good question to ask lol, good indication about how uptight they are. I take the question as a compliment really.
 ClaireMargaret
Joined: 11/23/2011
Msg: 41
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/26/2011 11:18:26 PM
When you havent even met how can anyone make a judgement. My response would be, why are you on a dating site and looking ??? We are single for all sorts of reasons at any point in time.....Of course they may well be partnered...... and players...
 quarked
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 42
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men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 12:14:46 AM

I'm just wondering if anyone else here as this experiance and how to handle it. I'll be emailing a guy and on the first or second response all of sudden he asks "why are you still single you seem so great" now I may be overreacting but to me that is a huge tun off. I don't know how to respond to that at all. Usually I'm temtped to write back a snarky "you tell me why you have't managed to get someone and I'll let you know"


You should say it's because you don't immediately fall for the first schmuck that compliments you.

I think the people posting before me have the right of it; men are trying to compliment you, but it comes off as insulting. I mean, if a guy thinks you're too good for him, he's probably right.

You should never have to apologize for being turned off by something. But you do have to weigh it against the things about those persons that turn you on as well. Nobody's going to give you all turn-ons and no turn-offs.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 43
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 6:58:10 AM
I would just answer: "I'll take that as a compliment... thank you".
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 44
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 6:58:52 AM

Wow, some of you are so jaded and quick to assume some negative connotation in everything. Why would they mean it in an insulting manner? They're single themselves as well aren't they?

I don't get insulted about much really, but it would stand to reason (yeah I know - expecting reason/logic is my first problem) that if you're single - asking why someone else is, especially one you're trying to get to know can be pretty moronic.

But hey hearing the question gives me the chance to answer with a multitude of different answers which is always fun for me, so I don't care if people ask.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 45
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 7:05:05 AM
I ask that.. he asks that.. (in person).. not a big deal. Just part of conversation

I had a guy ask me this LAST NIGHT in the bar.. and he was meaning it as a compliment.

and my answer is this.. I enjoy being single.. only being in love will ever change that.
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 46
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 7:30:04 AM

I don't get insulted about much really, but it would stand to reason (yeah I know - expecting reason/logic is my first problem) that if you're single - asking why someone else is, especially one you're trying to get to know can be pretty moronic.


I can honestly say whenever a woman has asked me that I never considered it to be moronic. Always took it as a compliment.

Unless as I said before it follows with them drilling you a ton of questions trying to uncover something or they won't let it go. Mentioning it once is fine. Turning it into a major topic of discussion...yeah not so much...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 47
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 7:31:24 AM
While I am sure that many (maybe most) men intend to give a woman a compliment by asking this question, I also find it as an implied query of "Well, you look and seem to be warm, intelligent, and as having your act together, so what negative traits do you have that I am not seeing?"

In addition, I tend to give in depth answers to questions in order to make sure that I am understood. To TRULY answer this question, I would have to start with my personal history from the time that I was 17--and no one wants to hear that.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 48
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History
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 7:56:29 AM

To TRULY answer this question, I would have to start with my personal history from the time that I was 17--and no one wants to hear that


Depends how juicy and depraved it is really
 StealthyNinjaKitty
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 49
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 8:13:27 AM
I always considered this to be a complimentary rhetorical question.

While the actual answers are going to vary from woman to woman, I don't see any cause to be offended by the question; in my mind, it's flattering that someone else thinks I'm "the whole package" and shouldn't be single...but then, I'm a happy-go-lucky-glass-is-half-full kind of gal.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 50
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 8:14:10 AM

I can honestly say whenever a woman has asked me that I never considered it to be moronic. Always took it as a compliment.

I guess it's my mindset - let's face it. If I asked a guy that question, especially being that not only am I single, but I prefer it most of the time - I'd have to seriously stop and question my own intelligence to actually ask it of another person...and he'd be right to question my intellect as well.

I might as well ask him if something I'm wearing makes me look fat; it's sheer stupidity. I'd deserve whatever answer I got.
 AxMurderer
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 51
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 8:28:58 AM
Guess we know why you are still single. Great guys are asking this AWESOME question to you, and you are not giving them the appreciative response they deserve for complimenting you in such a wonderful way.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 52
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 11/27/2011 10:07:40 AM
If a man has actually read my profile and he asks why I have not been married, it is usually to put me down. i.e. Why haven't you been married? You must be way too picky or ugly or really hard to get along with. Even the men who have not been married say this, which is kind of strange to me. When I have actually met men IRL, some have been negative, some have been positive. Guess that is called dating these days.
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