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 cracklinrose
Joined: 2/5/2012
Msg: 107
men asking why and how you're singlePage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Someone just asked me that. I don't take it as a compliment. I don't like the question at all. Mostly because I don't know what to say. How do I answer that?? That's a complicated question with a long complicated answer. I was married for 19 years. I don't want to talk about why my marriage ended. I want to talk about something positive!!
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 108
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 10:59:31 AM
Yes and I tell them they all died of natural causes and I'd give back every penny of the insurance money for just one more day with any of them.






if someone asks me that question; it's a great chance at conversation. If I am busy or otherwise not interested, the answer is "well; you know, same as you likely". If I ask it, "why and how you're single", it's a complimentary start by myself that is hopefully about to strike up some conversation; while giving me insight to what she likes and does not like in relationships, what has and has not worked, and what she likes and needs in a man for a healthy relationship. (A great start no?)

Really; it's as easy breesy or softball lob of a question you could ever get.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 109
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 11:14:29 AM

I think it's a legit question. If i ask it's because i generally want to know AHEAD of time how their last relationship ended and if i'm going to have to deal with a psychotic ex coming around causing drama. I also think that it can give a little insight on what they've been like since the breakup...have they been out with multiple people in a short amount of time ? Have they taken time for themselves to get over things or just work on themselves ? I think it's stupid to get so offended over a question like that.

I've never been asked this in a conversation with someone I'm getting to know. I get asked this as an opener or in passing. So I can tell you they aren't asking for that much information. It's not offensive - but it's kind of stupid. Sometimes we're all single - there is no why. It's part of life.

why don't you just take it as the compliment that it is?

Cause I can't just say "thanks" to answer it. And again, it's kind of a silly question.

why do women make things harder than they are?

Some do. I don't - I simply say "aren't we all sometimes in life?" Or I give my standard "because I'm smart". I'll tell them they are too if they tell me they're also single, and advise them to stay that way.

if you see a great bra on sale Victoria's Secret and it looks perfect in every way for $5 do you go and ask the associate why it's so cheap????

Actually - in VS....yes. That's a price that you almost never see there unless something's way off, so while you might buy it, you'll be curious to hear the story.
 FloridaLady46
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 110
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 11:58:58 AM
Exactly. If something in Victoria Secret is that cheap it definitely makes you wonder what is wrong with it that they are selling it for that price. It is the same thing that the guy is implying that there must be something wrong with you that you are single. I don't see this statement as a compliment at all.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 111
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 12:20:34 PM

If something in Victoria Secret is that cheap it definitely makes you wonder what is wrong with it that they are selling it for that price.


Those who are interested would ask, or would not miss the almost pbvious opportunity.

"Those who are interested ask" (Also goes for the main question in this forum)

If they thought something was obviously wrong with you; they would not be inquiring.
 Jazzfan3000
Joined: 2/15/2012
Msg: 112
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 1:07:20 PM
I always wondered why guys ask that too , they should try a different line , you almost cant help but be like, why are you single damn . Its a stupid question.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 113
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 1:10:52 PM
Every time a man has asked me why I am single and I replied that I have not found my match, the man have always said things such as "you are too picky", or said negative things about me, which is really odd and rude, especially since they know nothing about me as we are meeting for the first time or having a first online or phone conversation or email coorespondence. If a man has said something like "You seem great, I wonder why a man has not snatched you up", or "It must be difficult meeting men as you work in an elementary school and live in a small town", then I usually reply with something like "I have not met the appropriate man who appreciates the treasure that I am". I have dated men who understood what that comment meant (it does not mean that I am conceited and think I deserve perfection).
 catchnrelease71
Joined: 10/11/2011
Msg: 114
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 1:26:41 PM
I think I have said this one time on about our 4th date so I thought I had an idea of what she was like. Well, long story short, we ended up getting married. Now after being divorced I kind of know why she is still single or was at the time. As a matter of fact, I kind of know why I'm still single thanks to that relationship. I love my free time and I'm not good at compromise. I know this about me now. Not sure I would mention that if someone I was interesting in asked me, but you get the idea.

That was along time ago and I think I may have said something like that to a girl I met for a drink about 5 months ago. It was more of a "wow, you are really attractive" type line. That was my initial thought, but after talking for a bit I could sort of tell why she was single. Probably the same reason I was.
 Innatelypassionate1
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 115
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 5:25:31 PM
Just say "because there is something horribly wrong with me and im sure if you stick around you will come to see this for yourself"

haha.
 BMB81
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 116
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 5:36:42 PM
It happens. I just tell them I just got out of prison and I'm enjoying my freedom! LOL And of course by prison I mean a long marriage.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 117
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 6:01:15 PM
I've been in & out of relationships, timing is everything...
 onceagain57
Joined: 11/25/2011
Msg: 118
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/21/2012 6:49:25 PM
Well...DUH...get the same from woman too....come on....course then I have to tell em the story.....sheees!
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 119
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/22/2012 2:16:29 AM
What they're saying is that the brochure and sales pitch seem interesting but instead of reading all the fine print they just want you to tell them where the crazy is hidden!
 canumeltme
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 120
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/22/2012 2:55:06 AM
i always say i choose to be and thats the way i like it. i dont need a man, i just like the companionship. i am choosey and havent found anyone worthy of me.
 MssCrystal
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 121
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/22/2012 3:32:59 PM
I get this alot and I always respond by saying "I haven't found someone who I feel meets my standards" which is the truth!
 AngelofHonesty
Joined: 1/4/2012
Msg: 122
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:23:23 PM
Most men say that if a woman is beautiful, remember men are VISUAL creatures. I get that remark on a daily basis! I usually respond by saying, it's because I have zero tolerance for bullshit, I'm too damn picky, and won't settle for anything less than a genuine gentleman. It's not a turn off to me at all, actually I consider it to be a compliment if anything.
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 123
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/24/2012 4:00:33 AM
Most men say that if a woman is beautiful, remember men are VISUAL creatures. I get that remark on a daily basis! I usually respond by saying, it's because I have zero tolerance for bullshit, I'm too damn picky, and won't settle for anything less than a genuine gentleman. It's not a turn off to me at all, actually I consider it to be a compliment if anything.


Usually, can already be assumed that a woman is beautiful, she has a boyfriend, at least where I live. Smaller towns, rather attractive woman aren't choosing to remain single.

They're usually already paired up with someone (or even married) the person they went to their senior prom with.

Though, I wonder how often those that choose to remain single, are they almost always turning down dates when asked out?
 astefko
Joined: 6/29/2010
Msg: 124
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/24/2012 7:00:30 PM
I think most of the time when a guys says this its his way of attempting to compliment you & maybe express that he feels lucky to have found you.
 sarahsno1
Joined: 10/4/2011
Msg: 126
view profile
History
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 2/25/2012 6:03:43 PM
ask the same question back? if they think that their ok then why cant you be as you're both in the same situation? Dont get worried by these comments tell them the truth which is probably cos you havent met the right person, not rocket science me thinks!!
 juicyfruit21
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 127
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 3/31/2012 9:05:26 AM
I have been asked that question....and I just say because Mr. Right has not found me yet....but I've had many close encounters of the wrong kind. :) good luck!!
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 128
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 3/31/2012 10:18:20 AM
If I'm in the mood to respond (I used to get the question at least a couple times a week on here so got fed up with fielding every email) I flip it back. The usual answer is they can't find anyone that sparks a connection and they won't settle. Duh? Talk about answering their own question.
 lacalli
Joined: 3/17/2012
Msg: 129
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 3/31/2012 12:37:04 PM
I'm finally out of the halfway house I had to live in after prison and finished the 3 month stint in rehab. I'm sorry I tried to kill my ex-husband while in an alcholic drug-filled frenzy. All I remember is a big kitchen knife and a lot of blood but now that I've been sober for 60 days my counselor says the memories will be flooding back and I can start processing them. But I'm lonely and I need a companion and in prison all the girls said POF was the best place to meet men so do you want to go out?
 OneGodfather
Joined: 3/4/2012
Msg: 130
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 3/31/2012 12:41:46 PM

I'm finally out of the halfway house I had to live in after prison and finished the 3 month stint in rehab. I'm sorry I tried to kill my ex-husband while in an alcholic drug-filled frenzy. All I remember is a big kitchen knife and a lot of blood but now that I've been sober for 60 days my counselor says the memories will be flooding back and I can start processing them. But I'm lonely and I need a companion and in prison all the girls said POF was the best place to meet men so do you want to go out?
..... you owe me a new monitor now Lacalli.... *note to self dont drink tea when reading threads*
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 131
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 3/31/2012 3:19:07 PM
Usually, can already be assumed that a woman is beautiful, she has a boyfriend, at least where I live.

That's pretty much anywhere, if the woman's not brand-new to town. Not necessarily a boyfriend, but many options on the line. I don't think the "why are you single?" line is a good one. Maybe in a light-hearted, side-comment sort of way, sure, in the context of flirting -- not as a big "question".

There are other ways to deduce why she's single, to get a better assessment. What she (or he) says isn't going to give you THE definitive full answer anyway. Especially on a first meetup/date. Some women are too picky than what they're really worth. Some are emotionally distraught. Some aren't single for too long, and you caught them at the right time with luck, etc. Some are psychologically incapable of finding a great match for them, because in their minds there will always be something 'not right' or 'wrong' (basically stems from fear of commitment/monogamy/going-steady/etc). And many (who may fall into an above category) just like being single anyway.
 a_Libra_rising
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 132
men asking why and how you're single
Posted: 4/15/2012 4:43:03 AM
I was once asked by a young, local teenage girl who sat next to me on a bus going to the north of Thailand "Why are you so fat?" ...... Mind you this was almost 10 years ago when I was 20 + lbs lighter than I am now ...... WTF right? ... I could have tore her head off right there ... luckily however I'd been living in these parts long enough to know she did not mean this in an offending way ...


hahahahaha I would have told her, "cuz I ate your family for dinner and i'm going to eat you for dessert if you don't stop asking me stupid questions!!!"
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