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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?      Home login  
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 226
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Ask for one first, there has to be somewhat of a attraction. I'm asked and i send them.
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 227
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/20/2012 8:24:56 PM
I definitely need to see a picture prior to conversation. If I didn't have any pics on my profile, then I wouldn't expect one from the men. But, I have provided a few photos, so I think it is a reasonable request.
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 228
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/21/2012 4:44:32 AM
I have a pic posted but rarely do post one. The type man who interests me will usually respond when I do not post a pic. and I send pics when a man intrigues me. A few men have disappeared after they saw my recently posted pic, such is life. Everyone here seems to be seeking the cream of the crop, and a man who thinks that I am too ugly to post a pic or married does not interest me anyway.
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 229
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/21/2012 5:22:48 PM

Ask for one first, there has to be somewhat of a attraction. I'm asked and i send them.
DITTO...I just don't post one all the time.
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 230
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/21/2012 5:57:00 PM

Have received several messages from men telling me I am too ugly to be on POF

Dang Fifi that's horrible! They need to get over themselves!
(BTW its nice to see another "local" poster in the forums! The only other 2 I've noticed are men.)

I've always believed "a picture is worth a thousand words". I figure any new person is enough of a mystery already, I want to at least see their face to remember them if nothing else. I can't imagine how I'd keep a bunch of new contacts straight without pictures....crib notes?
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 231
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/21/2012 10:07:44 PM
I would never meet someone without seeing a picture first. If they don't have a picture in their profile they can send one in the first email. If not~no reply.
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 232
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/27/2012 5:56:27 PM
I think a large percentage of attractive women have both hidden profiles and hidden pictures within their profile. They don't have time to deal with dozens of emails from idiots hitting on them. They make initial contact with their picture still hidden to see what you are like. The worst thing you can do is immediately ask for a picture because that just tells them you are only into how someone looks.

A number of times I've been contacted this way and I make sure never to ask for a pic, even after a few rounds of emails. Sometimes they ask if I want to see a pic, and I say "It doesn't matter, but send me one if you want". Not to play head games, but they don't have a pic and why should I seem like a drooling doberman.

I actually prefer this kind of introduction because you can develop an opinion and fully focus on an intellectual exchange and it's really more interesting. I've also yet to be disappointed when seeing them.

Case in point:
"User has Hidden images" is worth the risk
"User has no images" is probably not
Joined: 11/10/2011
Msg: 233
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/27/2012 9:17:10 PM
To Fifi47 and everyone else who gets nasty, rude comments.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
There are some very famous and 'beautiful' people who have been deemed not 'pretty' enough.

Julia Roberts for example in the movie Pretty Woman used a body double.
Eh? If her body is not good enough then whose is?

I have kept mine to need a pic.
I have one, so I think it is only fair. I also know that I would not be chosen as Julia Roberts body double so I think it is fair that I make that known so when we meet there is no surprise.
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 234
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/27/2012 9:25:14 PM
Joined: 12/21/2011
Msg: 235
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/27/2012 10:30:49 PM
I used to accept contact from matches without pictures but no longer. I have my pictures up and that's because I know physical appearance matters. I could be the otherwise-perfect match for someone but if he likes brunettes with tanned skin, I'm never going to be his "type" and so why waste his time or mine? Similarly, there are certain types of looks that just don't do it for me so why not skip over those profiles altogether? I can only do that if the profile has a picture.

I just don't contact people without pictures...makes life less messy for me. No picture = no contact, as someone else said.
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 236
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/28/2012 1:35:57 AM

from Rearguard:(who is a photoless profile): While I presume that nx is being funny, its not a good idea to write stuff like that on the net. Once written, it can never be erased, and the world is now filled with various kinds of police who read things and presume everything is completely serious and true.

Good thing you don't have a pic, because some nutbar cop organization is probably looking for you right now......

In any event, the paranoid loonies who rant about how people without pics are all liars, cheaters, perverts, criminals and other kinds of freaks will not change their opinions, and probably have never thought about the fact that for centuries people used snail mail, without pics, in response to personals ads to find love and live happily ever after.

Nut bar cop organization? Police who read everything? And I am the paranoid loonie because I expect to see who I am talking with before proceeding...

Seriously...if you want faceless encounters, try the newspaper or craigslist. But if you have nothing to hide and want to date with the hope of finding a nice relationship, pull on your big girl panties, man up and post that photo.
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 237
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/28/2012 7:01:19 AM
I am going to hide my pic as a gossip saw it on POF and am sure is telling everyone I know about it. If someone thinks I am either married or hideous because I usually have it hidden for professional reasons, then they have plenty of other women to gaze at for sure.
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 238
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/28/2012 8:37:11 AM
I've accepted mail from the "no pic" men and even met a couple. Not at all as they had presented themselves. Then I tried the request of "send a pic" but as many have already pointed out, too many excuses as to why not. I just don't do it anymore.

I am amused at some of the profiles without pics who give such noble accounts of themselves and insisting on near perfection of the woman.

Also, very amused at the number of OLD photos out there, especially the ones that have Plenty of Fish imprinted. Those must be over five years old.

Stop with the bathroom mirror shots. I want to gag every time I see one of those.

Come on guys, cut your hair, brush your teeth, put on a clean shirt, and get a friend or one of your kids to take a photo of you and post it.

We are all on a public dating site and yes, there are some risks posting profiles and photos, but if I am willing to take the chance by posting recent photos, then by golly so can he!

Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 239
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/28/2012 12:12:53 PM
You said it, Charlie girl 2. I hate those bathroom mirror shots, but it is interesting how many claim to live alone but have very feminine looking products on the counter...can you say "player"? No wonder they get caught!

I especially agree with the part about combing the hair, brushing the teeth and putting on a clean (preferably polo or button-down) shirt. They need to shave and undate their glasses while they are at it...some of them look like they just stepped out of a 1978 high school yearbook or a homeless is not attractive.
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 240
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/28/2012 2:26:17 PM
1388SmartBlonde I just went and checked both of my bathrooms here and there's feminine beauty products in both of them and I'm a 58 year old man living alone now. Some are my daughter's, some were my wife's, and some were her mother's. None were cheap to buy and are mostly still full. Some day I may meet someone who could use them or may sell them at a garage sale. I would feel wasteful to just throw them away. We have enough junk ending up in our landfills as it is.
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 241
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/28/2012 2:40:37 PM

Physical attraction is certainly not everything by any means, but it makes a difference.
Therein lies the problem for me anyway...I cannot predict physical attraction even if there is a picture. I think meeting someone needs to happen before it's known whether or not there is a "spark"...sometimes the "warmth" or sincerity of a person can be seen in a photo or perhaps in what they write, but it can rarely be felt...until meeting. And many times, meeting is still just part of it. Sometimes attraction may be there but still it still may time for the spark to catch or the initial kindling is bad (bad day, bad traffic, bad timing) ...but I'm way off track now. Perhaps another thread...
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 242
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/28/2012 6:59:25 PM
I to guess they doesn't clear and have owner already.. pics no reply
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 243
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/28/2012 7:07:45 PM
My search is set to photos only , I will respond if someone emails and says they will send me a pic if I like their profile ...... other than that profiles without pics are deleted................just me
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 244
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 2/1/2012 9:02:14 AM
The question of a picture on a profile is an ongoing one. I found this on one gals profile...

"My fuzzy picture is posted - I am attractive and have been told I look much better in person - though I dislike selling myself on the basis of appearance, I realize this is internet dating and at least 50% of attraction is based upon physical appearance."

The bottom line is that a person is much more than their physical appearance. But on an "online dating site" one has to catch the attention of another. In essence, it is just an attempt to attract someone. So... is this appropriate or not?

When I see a really attractive gal on POF, I wonder why she is single and looking. I suspect there must be something about her that turns guys off (I would think this works in reverse for the women here).

Without a picture to see, one has review the words used to describe oneself. If there is some interest, emails can be exchanged. One has to get to know the other person and this takes time. So very often the physical appearance is but one small factor in the whole scheme of things in terms of two people getting together (one just has to look at all the couples in the world and ask the question "how did these two ever get together" or "what keeps these two together").

Posting a pic is a personal preference. Taking a chance on a person with no picture posted - nothing to lose (and possibly everything to be gained). In the end, it all comes out.
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 245
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 2/3/2012 1:48:01 AM

savvyseahorse: Keeping your ex wife's mother's stuff is rather creepy or cheap. If they are unopened them put them on EBay. I don't imagine any potential partner would want them.

What could I get for unopened makeup remover on Ebay or fingernail polish remover. It's not worth the effort so I stuck them in the guest bathrooms cabinet. Heck, my son's new GF was glad I had baby wipes and baby powder when they visited a few weeks ago.

Also she's not my EX wife, she's my late wife. There is a difference even if you don't see it. My 1st wife who I was only married to for 1.5 years is my EX wife. My late wife I was with for 29 years till she passed is not my EX wife.
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 246
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:03:44 AM

...hate those bathroom mirror shots, but it is interesting how many claim to live alone but have very feminine looking products on the counter.

Note to self: Review all pictures of self carefully, discard any unused tampons...
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 247
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 2/3/2012 11:27:09 AM
I say yes. As one gal wrote, when one gets a gift it is not the wrapping paper that is important, but what is inside. I believe people should be looked at the same way.

The business of pictures on POF continues to be a hotly debated topic. The people I feel sorry for are those who are not very photogenic. I suspect they would be better off with no pic. And some gals I look at but pass by as being deemed "high maintenance" and not for me. But then, there are those that are "beautiful" and I ask myself why they have to resort to an online dating site to find a suitable partner - in other words, what is the issue(s) that caused other guys to run away??

The question of risk is the issue - but doing anything online has inherent risks attached, just like everything in real life. On an online dating site, common sense and one's gut feeling(s) go a long way to mitigating any risk.
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 248
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 2/3/2012 2:57:17 PM
Here is what happened to me!

About four years ago, I posted a profile on POF with a picture. Nothing ever came of it and I stopped even checking the site. About a year later I met someone elsewhere and we dated for about two months until I ended the relationship..he was smothering and possessive and I wasn't interested in someone like that.

A month after we split up I suddenly starting getting messages on POF, from three different men. I was surprised since I had totally forgotten that I even had a profile here, but figured these things happen sometimes. All three profiles had different descriptions, different ages, different interests, the only thing in common was no picture. I began corresponding with all three, but became suspicious when the responses seemed to take on a responding only during the day, one responding only in the early evening and the other only late at night. My immediate thought was all these guys are married or dating someone and why did they all pick on me? I began pushing for pictures and got varying excuses. After about a week of no pictures I decided I was done and sent an email saying thanks for no thanks to all three. At that point I stopped responding.

About a week later, I started getting emails and voice mails from my ex boyfriend saying now he knew why I had dumped him, that I was cheating on him, and calling me all sorts of lovely names. Unfortunately for him, he also slipped while leaving a voice mail and brought up something that I knew was only in an email I had sent to one of my pictureless suitors!!! BUSTED!!!!! He eventually admitted that he had found me on POF when he saw my picture, stalker!, and that yes, indeed, he was behind all three profiles. If I hadn't had a picture he never would have known I was even on here. But without pictures, I had no way of knowing that he was all three guys. I ended up deleting my profile completely, only coming back recently when I moved to a new state.

I will still respond to those without a picture, but if I ask for one and get nothing but excuses, I end the contact. I can understand reasons for not having a picture initially, but if you are asked for one and still don't provide it, the odds are pretty great you are hiding something.
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 249
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 2/4/2012 4:54:20 PM
hmm... I must admit openly I don't show my pics any more. Not because I'm hiding anything or I"m unattractive. I"m not being deceptive, I"m just tired of the old same old same old. So I decided to go a different route and choose who I contact. Do I still get emails from unassuming daredevils curious as to I am.. absolutely.

This is not my first time on the site... I see many that were here before. I find that more daunting than anything else and think they need to update their photos.

behind the scenes.. my picture was taken this week. I send it .. when I want to send it along on my email responses.

Privacy has become more important to me now. I don't mind people knowing I"m here, I just dont want them knowing my business!!!
Joined: 7/13/2011
Msg: 250
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 2/4/2012 5:58:47 PM
Most people need to be attracted to a person before they can go to the next level. There really is nothing superficial about that. Sometimes people don't take good photos or are more attractive in person because of their personality. Then they need to learn to engage the other person and meet them in person. I think that overall women are more willing to see if there's a "connection" in person whereas men go solely by the picture, however, that is my own opinion and I realize that may be inaccurate.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?