Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 starswept333
Joined: 10/31/2012
Msg: 426
no pic: worth the risk?Page 18 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
Even with a pic you can never be sure. I don't care so much about the pic posted w/the profile but the stress gets the best of me if I go so far as to actually meet for a coffee/date without having seen a pic. While I wait to meet for this person who I have no idea what they look like my heart starts pounding in my chest when I see the long haired disheveled bearded guy stop and start looking around, or the guy with the coke bottle glasses and his pants don't cover his ankles . . . I get such heart palpitations I promised myself I wouldn't do it anymore. But, there was a guy whose pic was on his profile and there was no way this pic was this guy . . . I think no matter how you look at it - its a crap shoot.
 MeanBitter
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 427
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/5/2012 11:21:53 PM
It's my experience that more than not, no pic on a profile indicates that the man is probably very attractive. They just don't want be "shopped" (picked out like a pair of shoes from a catalogue) They don't want to targeted based solely on their looks. I don't mind being contacted by people without pics.

However...I would NEVER meet in person or even exchange numbers without first seeing a pic. I simply will not find a 6'3" 147 lb. man attractive . I don't date blonde men either. So it would be pointless to meet.
 stellavixen
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 428
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/6/2012 11:07:43 AM
No pic.....

1. married and cheating on spouse

2. serial killer/rapist/pedo

3. uglier than you can imagine
 RJM1207
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 429
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/11/2012 5:52:22 AM
I do not intiate first contact with person without a picture. I am a visual person. However if they intiate a contact with me and open a private photo with the message, I see nothing wrong with that. Not having a public photo does not mean a peron is married or unpleasant to ones eyes. So0metime it means they are afraid of identifty theft or stalkers.
 AJ2517
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 430
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/11/2012 7:04:12 AM
Obviously there are "risks" even with a picture as far as if it is a very old picture etc but if they say it is a couple months old, I will take their word for it.....Physical appearance is important and that is what I want to see....Next, if I am attracted to that appearance, emailing and talking on the phone are huge as far as hearing that person speak and what their conversation consists of.....So absolutely not, thinking the picture is the end and I am good to go is totally not true...I need substance, if the woman has no persoanlity or things in common with me, then I am not interested, no matter the picture...The point is, she saw me and my picture and my profile...If she sends an email, she needs to have a picture in that email, if she doesn't post one on her profile....Only then can I agree with not having one for whatever reason......I want a woman to see what I look like along with what I write.....I have done what I feel is how I want to present myself and if a woman is not attracted to the picture, even though she doesn't know me as a person, I am ok with that....Works both ways to me
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 431
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/11/2012 7:49:18 AM
OK, let me clarify what I meant in my phrase about fairness.

What I meant is that by posting a picture, men have the chance not to waste time on me if they do not find me attractive from the beginning. Most men are very visual--I am also a visual person; I am employed in a creative profession, so I can identify with being a bit visual, though I realize that looks are not everything by a long shot. Why waste anybody's time? I definitely did not post my pictures because I thought my photos would attract a lot of men, or because posting pictures would give me some sort of advantage, which, to me, seems to be what has been implied.
This is not a game--I am not into strategies.

And on the flip side of this, viewing profiles with pictures gives me a better idea of whether or not to contact a man also. A picture is worth a thousand words. The types and content of the pictures, (regardless of the attractiveness/unattractiveness of the person) posted can also give one some insight as to who this person is and some of their priorities.
 Gatineau2012
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 432
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/11/2012 8:18:54 AM
You know, there are other reasons for not posting a picture. I can fully understand what the female population might be thinking when the see a profile with no picture, but please give that person the respect they deserve. As for your comments, I say your picture and your pretty, but inside you`re nowhere as pretty.
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 433
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/11/2012 9:00:25 AM
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I am just trying to be honest here, and I really do try to be sensitive and not insult people.
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 434
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/11/2012 11:39:12 AM
"I can fully understand what the female population might be thinking when the see a profile with no picture, but please give that person the respect they deserve."

...probably the same thing as what the male population might be thinking....just saying..... and who isn't giving people respect here??? Can you explain how the person with no picture is not getting any respect? I do not get it. Everybody has a choice, and I understand there are some very valid reasons for not posting a picture, which would include just personal preference.
 xoxKissingBanditxox
Joined: 12/14/2008
Msg: 435
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/13/2012 1:26:14 AM
I have met a few w no pics and each time was a mistake!

No pics should warrant no replies and no meeting. Why so secretive when this is a dating site? Would you date someone looking like the Unknown Comic with a brown paper bag over their head if you saw them on the street? Seriously- it makes me think they have appearance issues, are married and seeking an affair, or wanted by the police.

Very few would be related to profession, in which case they should still send you a pic in private prior to reply or meeting.
 zzzI4u
Joined: 7/21/2012
Msg: 436
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/13/2012 1:45:48 PM
Where is your pic??????????????

We all have one and I will send mine if there is a reason.
Nothing from you though ????????
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 437
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/14/2012 9:47:37 AM
"agree..they have something to hide..if they cannot put their pic on or send it..it usually tells story of cheater."

I don't necessarily agree with them all having something to hide, there could be a myriad of reasons why pictures are not posted, but it can make "cheater" or "married" cross one's mind when viewing a profile without a picture.....and why risk that?
 WS1254
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 438
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/15/2012 5:41:19 PM
lololoa,

Totally agree with you, if the person you send a message to has a picture, you should do the same.
And make it a current one too, so if yiou meet they can recognise you.

No picture - usually something to hide
 tricia3753
Joined: 4/5/2010
Msg: 439
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/16/2012 11:51:57 PM
yup..no pic ..dont even bother emailing me ...no pic means your hiding something...dead turn off
 HealthyBrainSeeksSame
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 440
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/20/2012 12:29:06 PM
For me it is an issue of equality - no, not THAT equality, but level playing field equality. Regardless what the excuses are for not posting her own picture, she's unfairly deriving all the benefits of viewing profiles with pictures.

For me, it speaks to the larger issues of honesty and people taking unfair advantage. Why should I hang it all out there, taking the risk of being seen by friends or co-workers, of being judged, of telling the entire world I'm having problems getting a date the "normal way", just so she can avoid all that and I wind up buying yet another free meal for someone who is obese (or ugly, or any of the other undesirable outcomes that could have been prevented by a simple photo)?

I have yet to see - EVER - a valid excuse for not posting your photo, because the easiest way to avoid any problems whatsoever is not to post a profile at all. The price of admission to the adult table is a photo, and if you want to be an adult, pay for your ticket - its that simple. To want the benefits of a profile without paying the same price as everyone else is dishonest.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 441
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/20/2012 12:48:28 PM
I don't post a photo in public. Mine is private. Why? Because I have a very venomous and psychotic ex out there who tracks me online the best she can. This way is safer. I don't want to run into any problems because of her and her extended redneck family.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 442
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/20/2012 12:50:46 PM
To want the benefits of a profile without paying the same price as everyone else is dishonest.


Dishonest?
Show me where on the POF sign up page it says that you HAVE to post a picture. Nobody HAS to post a picture, so how does anybody HAVE to pay a price? It's free choice for everyone. NONE of these profiles have to have a picture on them. It WOULD be dishonest if everyone WAS supposed to post a picture, and someone found a way to circumvent that requirement and set up a profile without a picture, but that is not the case here. And it IS dishonest when people post fake, old, or misleading pictures.

This is more akin to a "pay what you will" musical or theatrical performance. Some people will pay a dollar and some people will pay ten dollars to see the same performance. Should the people who paid ten dollars get upset with the people who paid only a dollar? Everyone got free choice in the beginning to pay what they wanted, and everyone gets free choice to post a picture, or not post a picture, when they set up their profile.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 443
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/20/2012 1:05:22 PM
If people *had* to post a photo then you better believe a ton would come from the royalty free photo sites. I have photos - I have not made them public. I prefer to let people I choose view them.
 VenusandAdonis
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 444
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/20/2012 2:11:52 PM
sometimes I take my pics dwn..I always wonder if someone doesn't display a photo..if he's married, or not. And when someone displays only their side profile, it raises some questions..
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 445
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 12:27:02 AM
In my experience, no picture has not been worth the risk. Although, I might word that differently. Risk for me would mean it was a waste of time. I think a picture can show me a lot. First, how the person feels about themselves. While I don't require a picture on the profile (for instance, I could see a schoolteacher not posting) I do want to see a picture within the first few emails. I have no desire to just chat. I post my pictures, sans make up even. It is only fair. I am looking for someone normal looking. Sunglasses are a turn off too. If I can't see your eyes, then what is the point? The one person I met without seeing a picture, I could have told upon seeing his picture first, that I was not the girl for him. Would have saved us both time. Now if we are just on here for entertainment, I guess it doesn't matter. If we are here because we really would like to find a match, then honesty from the start is a key. Honest pictures are a good start. Part of who you are, is what you look like.
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 446
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 9:37:18 AM

I'm just amazed that someone on a DATING site that is here to actually date would be offended when people pass them over because they have no picture on their profile? I mean seriously.....wtf?


Plenty of people get passed over because they DO have photos. Face it, if you are not lucky enough to be attractive, you aren't getting lots of dates.
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 447
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 10:38:32 AM
I find there are a load of wackos on here photo or not.

I was discussing this the other day. So far I've had people whom I have not met and only contacted a few times that have begged me for coupons for their prepay mobile phone.

I have had people entice me with explicit images and then just quit talking after I suggest we meet in a cafe or somewhere safe.

I've had people go silent for days and days and people that never ever seem to be able to meet.

I don't find even the faintest correlation between these and whether they have a photo or not.
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 448
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 11:31:36 AM
Wackos are not the subject here. They are seriously easy to weed out within a few emails and phone calls. OR forum posts. It just takes a little bit of snap. They are not the subject here. The subject is whether we feel someone who will not send a photo is worth the trouble. Defend why you do not post or send a photo if you want, there are those of us who are telling you, that no photo is not worth our time.

If your self esteem is the reason you don't post a photo, and you don't think you'll ever get a date if you do post, then you are not ready for a relationship. Perhaps you need some counseling to figure out why you don't like yourself. RuPaul says it well: If you don't love yourself, how the HELL are you gonna love someone else.

The photos that are posted tell us a lot. Photos taken in a mirror says perhaps you have no friends who will take a picture of you. Those photos should be spur of the moment, just posted (although one wonders why you have NO pics of yourself on your hard drive, old or new?) And changed as soon as you can. Maybe you don't know how to post a photo, POF walks you through it. Or, if you are in my age bracket, your kids can do it for you. (Don't give them your password, they may mess with your profile, not mine but I know kids who do go through their parents POF stuff.) I can understand there are people who are not that photogenic. What a nice surprise, when I meet you and you look better than your pictures.

Off subject and free for nuthin':
Just remember, the pictures and the profile are just a piece of who you are, in a two dimensional environment. Attraction is a mystery, has little to do with actual looks. I have actually dated maybe one or two people, in my lifetime, who was my physical ideal. I have fallen in love with none. We don't all have some idealized list you must live up to. For me, I am looking for the fellow ....well, I say it on my profile. And for pity sakes, unless you guys really are looking for a golddigger or another toy to add to your collection, leave your cars and boats, etc out of the mix. The fellow I hope to find, I would be willing to live under a bridge with. Looks, things, health: all can be lost in a heartbeat. In the end it is who you are, who I am and who we are to each other that matters.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 449
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 11:45:32 AM

there are those of us who are telling you, that no photo is not worth our time.



"Looks", things, health: all can be lost in a heartbeat. In the end it is who you are, who I am and who we are to each other that matters.


Can you reconcile those 2 viewpoints, since they seem to contradict one another.
If looks can be lost in a heartbeat, and don't matter so much in the end, as who you are matters more, then why should it be a major problem if there is no pic on a profile that is allowed by the site to be created without a pic?


If your self esteem is the reason you don't post a photo, and you don't think you'll ever get a date if you do post, then you are not ready for a relationship.


Self-esteem is not the problem. When I send out my pics privately, I get somewhere around 70% positive comment, and suggestions that I should put them onsite.
 timeforall
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 450
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 12:12:56 PM
Photos taken in a mirror says perhaps you have no friends who will take a picture of you.


And sometimes what some women post in the forum also says things, like "stay away", this person is far too judgmental for my tastes.

VVVVVVVV

I find I am not attracted to someone haughty or one with no self esteem. This is easy to spot in a photo or across the room. . . One lady just happened to look exactly how I pictured her. ONE. (She happens to give psychic readings, strange, huh.?)


Yep, I think it pretty incredible that someone believes they can tell whether a person is "haughty or has no self esteem" from a web photo or any photo for that matter. But maybe I shouldn't be surprised if that person believes in psychic readings, huh?
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?