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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?      Home login  
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 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 451
no pic: worth the risk?Page 19 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
I am pretty sure I said, "send photos within first few emails." I do answer emails without a photo, and since I haunt the forums, I occasionally send messages to folks with no photos. Most never get to a meeting. The self esteem issue was directed toward a poster who said if they posted their photo, they would never get a date.


This allows you to quote a previous post.


Those to viewpoints,even out of context , do not contradict each other. Perhaps my communication could have been better. My point, is I am not looking to see if you are ugly or cute. Lord knows I have kissed frogs that were princes, and princes who were actually...well not nice. As I have told some, I just want to see if you are normal. I look at your eyes, see if the smile is genuine, that sort of thing. If you read any of my earlier posts (post 518), I said, if you don't wish to send a photo, ever, it is unlikely we will meet. We are all visual people, it is the first point of attraction. I find I am not attracted to someone haughty or one with no self esteem. This is easy to spot in a photo or across the room. I give you a visual, you give me one, only fair. If we are not wanting to see if we are a match, then it wouldn't matter. I have "talked" with people all over the world, some for years, that I never saw a photo of. One lady just happened to look exactly how I pictured her. ONE. (She happens to give psychic readings, strange, huh.?) What I want to see in a potential dating situation is how you present yourself. You take this personally, after you say, on your profile, you do send pictures privately? So what is your beef?
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 452
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 2:23:33 PM

I'd be interested to see how many messages women with pics would receive if they dropped their pics and had to rely on their profiles to attract guys


^^I find myself sitting here wondering how I could properly display my boobies then Mr. Abe? lol..omg, someone put me back in my cage please?
 geoweb
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 453
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 2:45:46 PM
A picture on a profile reveals a lot more than merely how attractive they are. In many cases, they are a clue to the validity of the written profile. If I see that someone describes a very active life filled with such activities as marathons, 3x weekly zumba, tennis, mountain climbing, etc., I would naturally expect that the picture would reflect that healthy lifestyle but then if the picture makes you wonder if they could go up a flight of stairs without resting...NEXT

If there is no picture, and cooking and TV are the only interests listed...NEXT

If there is a picture, and they look 15 years older or younger than their age.....NEXT

Mid 50s and "my kids are my life".....NEXT

Any hint that they are shopping for 'Mr. Perfect'....NEXT (for me, lack of a picture raises that issue)

Repeated use of the word "honesty" indicates trust issues....NEXT

As for the married, cheating issue, my gut tells me that I can spot that by the frequency, time, method and location of communications.

POF is a minefield. I'm not sure if 'attractiveness' is any more an issue as a deal breaker as many of the other surprises waiting for us as we journey through the dating field. For me, lack of a picture is the least of the problems I have dealt with. I can always ask for one before traveling a great distance for a 10 minute 'meet' at the local Tim's. I prefer to look at the whole person before deciding if they are 'attractive'. Initially, the picture gives me a frame of reference, and reminds me that this is a real person and validates that they are actually sincere.
 greenfield101
Joined: 8/5/2012
Msg: 454
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 4:25:38 PM
request video chat eg. Skype, Tango before meeting. Afterall, the webcam can show your normal face, sometimes not at your best (especially if it freezes), and can be zoomed out to see whole body. No more false hope!
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 455
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 5:12:11 PM
Well said, Geoweb. I would make one correction, DATING is a minefield. POF is just one aspect.
 geoweb
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 456
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 5:42:05 PM
I agree, Beachdancer, but I was trying to be specific about POF. Lack of a pic for dating is kind of a moot point, unless it is a blind date. Then again, if you are blind, there is always Braille...
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 457
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 6:36:25 PM
abelian said:

I'd be interested to see how many messages women with pics would receive if they dropped their pics and had to rely on their profiles to attract guys


moonchild said:

^^I find myself sitting here wondering how I could properly display my boobies then Mr. Abe? lol..



Trust you to just lay it all out there...I busted a gut with that one moonie.
...mae

(@) (@)
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 458
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 7:51:40 PM
Trust you to just lay it all out there...I busted a gut with that one moonie



^^^We aim to please my good friend! lol....

And Mr. Abe? I would tend to agree with you, but think tis the pics that garner the attention? The number of emails I have received where it is more than blatantly obvious they never read my profile is attrocious!
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 459
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 8:17:08 PM

Like you all are doing so well with people who do have photos.


Indeed.

Lots of people with pics complaining about lots of other people with pics who don't look like their pics.
 Your_Move
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 460
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/21/2012 8:30:41 PM
I think geoweb is onto something there - I find the "looking for Superman" or repeated "not looking for games"/"must be honest" stuff to be much bigger red flags than not having a picture. Actually, the BEST woman I've met on here, was one that didn't have a pic, and didn't send one before first meeting either.
 00whiteclouds00
Joined: 10/16/2012
Msg: 461
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/22/2012 3:07:27 AM
I am one of those people who have no picture posted on profile. I do this for a very good reason. My reasoning for this is to have the person(s) get to know you as a whole. Not an object to be looking at. Once I find that this person(s) is actually looking for the same thing as me. I will than share a picture when the timing is right.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 462
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/22/2012 6:03:16 AM

Well, if you're really set on getting messages from guys who look at your tits and then ignore your profile, you're doing exactly the right thing. In fact, why not just delete all of the text? I love those profiles. I never feel bad about asking if they're interested in hooking up.


^^I was just making a statement that this is what I think happens Mr. Abe. It isn't necessarily my dating strategy and you can tell that by the pics I have posted. However, should I decide to one up my process, I will keep your suggestion in mind! lol
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 463
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/22/2012 7:21:49 AM
I like the way people have sunglasses or pictures of trees or dogs or whatever in their profile.

I'm a sexy girl and I'm wearing sunglasses.... Does that mean you're a female Terminator with sunglasses to disguise the glowing red eyes or perhaps the over-enlarged pupils from drug abuse?

WTF are people putting doggies and trees as the photo for? I'm not an arboropheliac (has sex with trees) and I'm certainly not a bestialist or is the person saying "the dog is more attractive than me"?

Then there's all this no reply crap. At least have the decency to say "I'm sorry but my uncle's butt looks more attractive than you. Goodbye". I've had conversations going for weeks that abruptly end with no further contact and no goodbye so I end up sending messages for the next few days believing they're unable to access their computer for some reason before I just give up on the loser.

Photos mean absolutely NOTHING. I look at what the person writes about themself. I don't care what they look like - personality is MUCH more important. Think of all the people that married sexy women that are now divorcing the ****es because they only wanted to marry a wallet.

As far as I'm concerned, if people want to hide behind their computers and not meet after a day or two of messages and won't call when I give a phone number or won't give theirs then goodbye - you've got something to hide and aren't honestly who you say you are. Heck, throw-away phones are cheap enough. Walk into Walmart and get one of those Verizon throw-away things for $15 including $10 of airtime or about 400 minutes. That'll last a good month!
 beachdancer
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 464
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/22/2012 4:57:19 PM

Photos taken in a mirror says perhaps you have no friends who will take a picture of you.


And sometimes what some women post in the forum also says things, like "stay away", this person is far too judgmental for my tastes.


LOL Timeforall. No so much judgmental, just experienced.

I find I am not attracted to someone haughty or one with no self esteem. This is easy to spot in a photo or across the room. . . One lady just happened to look exactly how I pictured her. ONE. (She happens to give psychic readings, strange, huh.?)


Yep, I think it pretty incredible that someone believes they can tell whether a person is "haughty or has no self esteem" from a web photo or any photo for that matter. But maybe I shouldn't be surprised if that person believes in psychic readings, huh?.



Perhaps it isn't THAT easy to spot. Many tests, are of photos: is this person lying, can you spot the psychopath, and other such photo tests. So maybe certain character traits are not that hard to spot for some people. However, I HAVE found that people who do not have relationships, who can't look you in the eye or the smile does not reach their eyes to be a bad risk (to use the OP's original word.) I live alone yet the only pictures I take in my bathroom mirror are the ones I send to my best friend, to ask if I should really wear something in public or not. Like that belly dancer costume at Halloween.

For the record, I do not believe in psychic readings. Just thought it strange. So who is judgmental?
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 465
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/22/2012 6:18:26 PM
I agree with you, Mr. A, that people should be up front about not wanting further contact, but based on your work schedule, and your stated desire to take things slow, did you consider that perhaps you were asking to be on the phone too soon? Perhaps they just don't feel comfortable enough to talk on the phone yet, and react to pressure by hitting the block button?


Wouldn't that show up if somebody blocked me by mails bouncing or just being unable to see the person to send them a message?

I have only blocked one person. I'd never met the girl in real life and she was demanding that I went to the shop, bought a scratch off phone card and messaged her the numbers on it so she could phone me. Not blooming likely *BLOCK* I've met enough scammers in my life.
 geoweb
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 466
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/23/2012 6:38:25 AM
I don't know the answer tho that, Mr A....but I do know that no matter how hard you try to make someone love you, if they are not interested, it will never happen. I think you were dealing with a playeror a scammer who normally would have demanded that you send her the cash, but may have settled for calling card data so she could talk to someone else. Either way, the best thing to do is to move on...there are other fish!
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 467
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/23/2012 10:50:37 AM
"there are other fish!"

Hence lies the reason why profiles with no photos may be getting passed by-----this coming from one of those who really did not want to post my photos.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 468
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/23/2012 11:22:32 AM

Perhaps my communication could have been better.


Apparently so.



So what is your beef?


My "beef" is the attitude displayed by the "haughty" (to use one of your own words) comment that no pic is not worth your time. If you really believed what you wrote at the bottom of your other post, this kind of statement seems incongruous.
Is someone with a fake pic worth your time? Or someone with an old, misleading pic worth your time? But you wouldn't know if those pics were fake or old until you actually meet in person( or perhaps Skype or webcam), which involves spending time.

Do you consider yourself a decent person? If yes, is it because you have a pic on your profile? If you had no pic on your profile, would you not be the same decent person? And worth someone's time?
 AJ2517
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 469
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/23/2012 5:45:23 PM
I think saying that "no pic is not worth my time" may be a little strong....Sometimes, there may be legit reasons, but for the most part, this is a dating site and to not have a pic makes no sense at all...Guess for those who have no pics, it is your choice obviously and it also will have a lot of people not looking at your profile with no pic...Your choice....As far as the fake pics, old pics etc, absolutely, that is worth as much as the no pic thing, it isn't a good thing.....I guess we alll make decisions, talk to people and get as good a feel as possible before meeting, but with no pic, I am not into "blind dating"...Now if the person without a pic sends one with her email, great, but I won't initiate the contact...It is very difficult on these sites even generating any interest to begin with, so with no pics, your interest that you attract is going to be even worse, sorry.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 470
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/23/2012 6:21:06 PM
...It is very difficult on these sites even generating any interest to begin with, so with no pics, your interest that you attract is going to be even worse, sorry.


It's difficult because so many people make it difficult. I have never had a photo on an online dating site. Not having a photo has only become a major problem in the last couple of years (there was always a certain percentage that said "no pic, no reply", but that percentage seems to have increased drastically over the last couple of years). About 6 years ago, I recall being on 100 women's favorites lists on another site, with no photo, just based on the content of my profile. Now, a lot of those 100 women were spread all across the country, so it wasn't like I had 100 women to choose from in my own city.
But after so many negative experiences with online dating, a lot of people have gotten pickier about everything.


this is a dating site and to not have a pic makes no sense at all...


It only makes no sense if all decisions are based solely or primarily on the photos, rather than seeing the larger picture which considers that photos could be fake or old or misleading, people might not look as good in photos as they do in person, and photos don't make a person a "good" person or someone automatically worth someone's time just because they are there. Photos can be exchanged at any time in the process, so I don't see any sense in obsessing about them upfront. As I have said before, the only real benefit to having photos onsite, provided they are real and accurate and current, is that it is more convenient than having to wait for them later. But then, people don't want to wait for anything anymore, they want everything "now", and sometimes even "yesterday".
 CaptainAmericaOO7
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 471
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/23/2012 6:53:01 PM
The big problem is not the lack of a picture but the lack of general intent on the participants on the site. If people were genuinely looking to meet then a picture would not be needed. Most seem to be here to play on the internet and not to meet.

I have personally met two very nice ladies from this site. One is a very close friend now while the other is friendly but we drifted apart.

My current search yielded only some people that like to write but never meet and a scammer looking for money.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 472
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/24/2012 12:34:26 AM
Well I haven't read this entire thread... but I'd say, hell no. Even if they don't have a picture onsite I certainly make sure that we see each other in real time on some sort messenger cam. Why in the world would I inconvenience myself to meet someone sight unseen and then be forced into a position of being uncomfortably disappointed... or for that simple practicality that I wouldn't even be able to recognize him?! :O
 paulajenel
Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 473
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/28/2012 5:10:53 PM
That said why no picture?
 charl99999
Joined: 11/28/2012
Msg: 474
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2012 1:52:30 PM
i have no picture because i prefer not to have every tom****and harry looking but i have had a decent amount of interest its not all about looks its personality as well i have been through alotin the past and do not want it all over a website so can be quite picky and there is certainly nothing wrong with me.
 Liongal
Joined: 1/21/2012
Msg: 475
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2012 3:02:28 PM
I agree with Chrl9999999.... I do not post a photo and have no intention to do so ... if you would prefer to judge someone by looks then go to a bar where you can eliminate people right away...to say that a photo offers much in the way of chemistry is baloney. I have met plenty of men i have dated for months / and stayed friends ... why? because we had personality matchesg
I wonder if the people on here have luck with posting photos? if you are still here its obvious that your personality and intelligence is lacking and not your looks.
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