Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 antoinette01
Joined: 9/24/2011
Msg: 30
no pic: worth the risk?Page 2 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
Mae, I had the same thing happen a couple of days ago, only he wanted to chat and accused me of being shallow because I probably only based my attraction to someone on there looks.... He argued and I allowed it for a bit because I found it amusing how he was substantiating his claim he had made about me. I told him that it would be unsafe for anyone to meet in this way... then he asked me if I felt threatened... I then excused myself and wished him a good day.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 31
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/26/2011 11:28:13 AM
there are a lot of jobs where posting one's photo online is seriously discouraged ... especially in a dating site! I've had several of these jobs ... where you're reminded frequently that everything you do represents the organization you work for ...

I live in a small rural area and resisted posting a photo online for quite a while ... based on comments from my supervisors ...

when I did post a photo for the first time, a man immediately contacted me, saying he recognized me ... kinda freaked me out a little bit ... we'd never met but he remembered me from when we were both attending a function of some sort for an organization I worked for and his date pointed me out to him as being part of the administrative team ...

the town's seriously small ...
 hansome430
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 32
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/26/2011 11:34:55 AM
I liked the quote by sevlepo as it holds a lot of truth...... Many of us both women and me do not have picture posted for the exact reason that we do not want every " Debbie, Dee, and Delores contacting us because of our looks. By all means... Do contact individuals without pics or you may be missing out on some quality folks !
 ALadyNotaTramp
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 33
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/26/2011 12:29:06 PM
I don’t know why guys don’t post pictures… I don’t care. I read profiles because I want to know what (if anything) is in their heads and hearts first. I hope some of that will show in their profiles. Most of the time it’s quite obvious either by what they say or how they say it. And, by the way, anyone can post a picture… who says it’s them? Or even close to being current? What are you judging? Making your decisions on? I’ve met quite a few men from these dating sites. Some great looking, some average looking – according to their pictures. One guy posted a picture that had to be close to 20 years old… omg… he looks horrible now. I actually try not to look at the pictures… what if I don’t like his scruffy beard, but he’s a great guy? How would I ever know, if I just passed him by? Maybe he has shaved since that picture… who knows?
The first guy I ever met from online didn’t have a picture and neither did I. We had both just joined the site and weren’t sure we were going to stay. But we got to emailing, then chatting, then talked on the phone. He asked if I wanted to meet him for dinner. Being my first time, I was extremely wary and on “high alert”, lol. But I thought about all the things we had talked about and he had always been kind, considerate, and polite. So I went. We met at a well lighted, public place (obviously). His idea, by the way… he wanted me to feel safe. And we agreed that if we really didn’t feel comfortable when we first saw each other, that we could wave and just drive away. Well, let me tell you… it was one of the best decisions of my life. We hit it off right from the start and talked like we had known each other our entire lives. We saw each other for almost 2 years.
But this message is to those of you like to put down women who don't post pictures… Good for you for having such wonderful, carefree, safe lives. But here's a little look at reality -- many women didn't have wonderful or carefree or safe lives... So many were abused, stalked, beaten, raped, and worse. And a percentage of those got away from their pasts, and are safe now. Believe me, they intend to stay that way. They don’t post their pictures because they don’t want their abusers knowing where they are. It doesn’t mean they are damaged goods… it means they are strong and safe now.

And some of those? They are trying to get their lives back, make them real again, take their power back - live again. So they are trying to find a safe way to meet and learn about men. They choose whether or not to show their pictures and to whom. So stop judging and stop all of your snide remarks.
Ladies... knock it off. They are your sisters. Thank God you don't know what they've been through. Give them some slack... and some credit.
And guys, if you don't want to get to know someone without a picture... just move on. But, you'll never know what you may be passing up. Show her you’re a quality man. Read her profile. If she sounds interesting, give her a chance. Let her see what’s inside, so she can feel comfortable with you. Give her time to want to show her picture. Unless, of course, all you want is cheap sex… then it doesn’t matter.
Oh… one last thought… when someone does send you their picture, please have a little courtesy… thank them and if they aren’t your type… say so nicely… don’t make them wonder if you never got it. I’m sure we all know that we aren’t everyone’s type (for whatever reason). You don’t have to be nasty.

Good luck to everyone in your searches!
 yorfriend4life
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 34
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/26/2011 2:27:49 PM
No Pic No meeting .
6-7 yrs ago . I did. And never again .

Way too many surprises....!
Alot are hiding and lying and cheating . its kinda sad for those who seriously are searching for that someone special/
leading to you believe
ing one thing and then Boom . BIG surp[rize.

I remember pulling in the driviway one time ... - he came out the door--and i put it in reverse and took off....
he said he was this and that and this and that . --
And turned out the compete opposite--

I have no room for liars //cheaters// in my life . PLus I value my time very much .

Everything on the table and upfront since then .
 ALadyNotaTramp
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 35
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/26/2011 5:12:13 PM
wow.... why would you go to someone's house to meet for the first time? sooooo unsafe! always meet in a public place... where there are a lot of people around. It's for your own safety!
 Lionessx
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 36
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/26/2011 5:13:03 PM
There is some folks that post in the forums that do not have a picture and for some strange reason I would love to meet them. Their postings are priceless.

A friend of mine on here does say in the beginning of his profile that he will show his picture but he will not put it up for public display.

I am one of those people that look more at the character than the picture.
 yorfriend4life
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 37
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/26/2011 5:55:58 PM
LOL---
This is Canada as well. Plus the fact he lived right beside a plaza - very busy spot . No dear . I did my homework . all but the picture (which is what the TOPIC is about no . ???
oh ya.. --52 and not born yesterday . HUGS :-)
 testingwaters01
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 38
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/26/2011 7:15:53 PM
When I set up my POF profile, I did so with the intention to meet people that I might not meet due to how busy my life is. I value my time and energy. I'd like to put my time and attention toward women I'm attracted to, and looks are definitely a component of that.

The way I see it, a guy deserves to at least have the information about you that he would have were he to meet you in line at the grocery store and initiate contact. This includes at least a snapshot of what you look like.

I can understand say, a high school teacher being unwilling to post a photo that her students might use to identify (and harass) her. This being the case, I'd expect her to offer one in the first couple of emails. If I have to ask repeatedly for one, then I feel like I'm being strung along.

It's been said here that a pic posted might be of someone else or an old one anyway so whats the big deal? I don't buy that. If that's the reasoning, then why not assume that the whole profile is BS and sign up to have POF pair us up for dates randomly?

Expect the truth. Approach this with integrity. Don't let people waste your time and attention.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 43
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/27/2011 5:29:12 AM
Really interesting documentary on TV last night about how pics and personal information on various internet sites are used to steal, cheat, threaten, cause people to get fired, harass and otherwise make life miserable. Its the fastest growing area of fraud and other crime.

The big problem is that once its out there, you can never remove it.

The first time you get your own pic sent to you by someone else pretending to be you, you will change all of your viewpoints about people who post pics.
 DeborahC56
Joined: 10/20/2010
Msg: 44
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/27/2011 6:32:32 AM
I put in my profile the I only respond to profiles with pics but I still get emails from guys without them. That leaves to believe that they didn't even read my profile and only responded to my picture. I don't trust anyone without one nor do I buy their excuses. Besides, who wants to beg them for a pic only to get it and see that they look like a slob or something and then have to reject them after. What a waste of time.
 CapnRHHNY
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 45
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/27/2011 6:40:57 AM
No guts, no glory.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 46
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/27/2011 6:58:12 AM

DeborahC56:

I put in my profile the I only respond to profiles with pics but I still get emails from guys without them. That leaves to believe that they didn't even read my profile and only responded to my picture. I don't trust anyone without one nor do I buy their excuses. Besides, who wants to beg them for a pic only to get it and see that they look like a slob or something and then have to reject them after. What a waste of time.


Good morning, Deborah. And welcome to the forums!

I took a quick look at your profile, you do have the requirement set for "must have picture". It should not be possible for anyone without a picture to send you an email. Perhaps you are confusing the "Meet Me" feature with an actual message?
 HippyDippyWeatherman
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 47
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/27/2011 7:42:22 AM
I don't post a pic because this site is free. I live in a small town about 20k and the chances of finding someone within 20 minutes that meets your chemistry and personality needs is almost nil. I post a pic if someone contacts me and I want to chat, most times they have a pic and I don't respond because they don't meet the chemistry part. For the most part this site is just a list of matches that aren't even worth my effort to contact because I just don't think there would be chemistry. Don't automatically assume everyone without a pic is married. I've been divorced 5+ years and it is easy to check for a divorce online in Wisconsin.
 boaterguy7
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 48
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/27/2011 9:31:52 AM
Even though there is no guarantee that photos are legit, I would never meet anyone without a photo. This is such a different world than it was just 5 years ago. Married people who want to step out, people who will do anything for a dollar, etc. If the person appears legit, then they won't mind emailing you a picture. I would recommend a video phone conversation if you both have that ability on your computers, so you know the email, voice, and photos all match. Good luck!
 vhwltt
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 50
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/27/2011 2:00:22 PM
I find it unbelievable that ppl go on here w/o a photo, it is like going into a dark room and feeling around. WHY DO THEY NOT PUT A PHOTO ON? HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE, I'M SURE!
 errant71
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 51
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/27/2011 2:37:11 PM
I'm perfectly happy those who feel not having a profile pic posted is 'shady', deceptive, a red flag (or whatever negative assumption they want to make) skip my profile.

Saves me from the negative energy ... and they dodged a 'bullet'. It's all good.
 ainthatlonelyet
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 53
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/27/2011 7:03:37 PM
From my experience on POF, Many who post pictures are not who they say they are.I met one in person and she was 10 yrs older than what she had posted, I met her at a coffee house and politely excused myself and on my way out,she had the nerve to ask me to stay and have a cup of coffee with her. Honesty is everything when meeting someone for the first time.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 54
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/28/2011 7:40:05 AM

From my experience on POF, Many who post pictures are not who they say they are.I met one in person and she was 10 yrs older than what she had posted, I met her at a coffee house and politely excused myself and on my way out,she had the nerve to ask me to stay and have a cup of coffee with her. Honesty is everything when meeting someone for the first time.


All pictures were taken at some point in the past, but 10 years is a bit much. I also understand that people tend to choose pictures that are flattering. So it can be a bit disconcerting when you meet the first time and their appearance isn't up to your expectations.

I try to be patient and at least share a cup of coffee at that point, despite the overwhelming urge to beat a quick retreat.

Like I've said repeatedly, someone with no picture had better wow me with that first note and be prepared to share a picture PDQ. Otherwise, it's going to be a short conversation.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 55
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/28/2011 7:44:58 AM
As has been mentioned before, some folks won't post a pic here for numerous reasons. After engaging in an email or two, most provide a private pic of themselves with no problem. I respect that. Have actually met a couple of men with no pics and was most surprised when I met them..handsome devils that they were. I just think we shouldn't all be so close minded on the issue. One never knows now do they?
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 56
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/28/2011 12:59:53 PM
I have met a few women without seeing a pic first, at all (onsite or off), and I would do it again.
But then again, I am more adventurous than most.
No one looked like Miss America, but they didn't look like the wicked witch of the west, either.
They looked about the same on average as those with posted pics.

If NO ONE on here had a posted pic, they would still look the same as they do now.
Posting a pic doesn't make one better looking, it just gives the people looking at it a pretty good idea of what they look like, assuming that the pic is genuine and fairly current.

And yes, (gasp), every posted picture is not genuine or current.
 DeborahC56
Joined: 10/20/2010
Msg: 57
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/28/2011 4:18:52 PM
I retract my statement. I dont get emails of men without pics, I get the pop up windows of men with no pics asking me to chat.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 58
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/28/2011 8:24:36 PM

ainthatlonelyet : Honesty is everything when meeting someone for the first time.


Right, once you get past that first date you can go right back to being dishonest.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 59
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/29/2011 9:00:17 AM
Deborah, you can disable chat entirely. Many people do that.

And you might want to re-think your email restriction about living within a 75 mile range. If you're going to be a regular here on the forums, many of the people here will want to contact you privately.
 yorfriend4life
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 60
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/29/2011 10:37:23 AM
Ok Her's Mine .

No Pic no conversing .
Thats it............... thats all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Simple.

All upfront .
No hiding . ...............


And if your not sure about the photos u do see.
Then u request a cam/video night .

Then u can say BUSTED ! LOL

o
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?