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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 61
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Yes, it's worth the risk, IMO. I agreed to meet my wife before she'd posted a picture, and had met other women who had no picture. I don't care what the reasons are or the issues some people have over this (some are real, some are bogus). If they seem like decent people based on emails and IMs and phone calls, they'll deserve a chance. Several times I've met women who turned out to be amazingly beautiful, and I'd have missed some great relationships - and my wife - if I'd been too uptight about lack of a photo.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 62
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/29/2011 11:37:49 AM
My personal motto is...No pic, No play
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 63
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/29/2011 12:24:14 PM
People who post any kind of restrictions on their profiles or live by arbitrary rules of any kind do it because they lack faith in their own abilities to manage relationships and human interactions. The are afraid at some level that they are not up to making sure that what they want to happen in an interaction is what will happen.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 64
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/29/2011 12:33:42 PM

People who post any kind of restrictions on their profiles or live by arbitrary rules of any kind do it because they lack faith in their own abilities to manage relationships and human interactions. The are afraid at some level that they are not up to making sure that what they want to happen in an interaction is what will happen.


Sorry but this brought a smile to my face because who knows what will happen even if a photo is posted..However I certainly can understand someone not wishing to meet a blank canvas for host of reasons one being that they have a good reason for not posting it.. (married, criminal history who knows)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 65
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/29/2011 12:57:05 PM
Pretty easy to ask someone for a pic. Happens to me regularly.....

Now if you are refused, then you have a red flag.....
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 66
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/29/2011 2:07:41 PM
I just want to make sure it isn't someone I've already met with....and if I'm meeting someone, even in a busy place I'd like to recognize them.

I did, once in my early POF days, meet with someone without a picture....and he avoided my questions, you know answered my question with a question....didn't take me long to figure out he was hiding something. After the meet was over, he emailed me with 'dirty talk'....that so digusted me....but at least his true colors came out early.

But it works out sometime, I have a girlfriend who met her guy and he didn't have a picture....they've been together nearly 10 years and have a wonderful life....but have to add they didn't meet on this site.

If I post my picture, and I have nothing to hide, then I expect the same respect. Just sayin'....
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 67
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/29/2011 2:15:16 PM

Hey even with pics there can still be major deception and disappointment in reality.
Old pics, obscured or skewed....doctored or air brushed. Webcam can help but even that is blurred often...


My last job included desktop publishing and one of the many programs I used was Photoshop. There are tell tale signs that a photo has been "touched up". When I see a woman's picture that has been Photoshop'd my first thought is, deception. Let us remember that it is not only men who try to increase their opportunities by using Marketing 101 techniques and embellishments.
 onefishwilldo
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 69
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/29/2011 10:28:59 PM
No picture = married, fat, ugly, or hiding from the FBI. For me I don't reply to those with no pictures unless I'm in the mood to argue with them as to why they didn't post a picture. :-)
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 70
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/29/2011 11:19:39 PM
What I hate is when they put up a picture to get to email you and then after you talk they take it off, then give you a lame excuse about it.

I will say congrats to those who met the right person when that person did not have a picture.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 71
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/30/2011 7:29:56 AM

What I hate is when they put up a picture to get to email you and then after you talk they take it off, then give you a lame excuse about it.


I do not even wait when that happens I just hit the delete button on their email.. Yes that has happened to me as well..

nativerock
 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 72
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/30/2011 10:50:59 AM

I immediately question the motives of anyone who can't manage to get a photograph on a dating site.


Perhaps you should question my computer expertise instead. I have pictures on other sites but can’t get one here… something about the pixel size. I’m not what I would consider attractive (i.e. tall, overweight) but I would certainly email a photo or send them to my Facebook page or another site for a look at me and certainly before meeting anyone... or even just for chatting; sometimes you like to see who you're talking with. I never realized you could attach a picture to a POF email – I might try that for the future if I don’t run into the pixel warning again.

I would ask for a picture before meeting someone… probably because I’m concerned I’d walk up to someone and go “Hi, are you DATE from POF?” and he goes ‘No….” Excuse me, just let me curl up in a spare corner…. Ok, I know it wouldn’t be that bad but the point is it’s avoidable.

So, no pic is fine; until it comes time to meet. It means I have to read and pay attention to the profile. Even upon getting a photo, I wouldn’t use it as an excuse to not show up, simply as something to identify the prson I’ll be looking for. Though I will note if the clothes are from the 90’s…

It is movement and emotion when makes people come alive rather than the flatness of some 2D picture.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 73
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/30/2011 11:30:29 AM
When I first started on-line dating, I agreed to meet someone with no picture. He promised me I wouldn't be disappointed. Imagine how disappointed I was when the 6'2", 52-year-old guy with the athletic build described in his profile showed up in the form of a 70 year old guy who was about an inch taller than me.

There's usually a reason people don't/won't/can't post pictures. And in the immortal words of The Who ... I won't get fooled again. Even though I do realize people still do post fake pictures, then there's nothing to do but run screaming in horror when their alter-ego shows up.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 74
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/30/2011 1:12:57 PM
One thing I really like about not posting a profile pic is that it reduces dramatically the number of unsolicited messages I get, although not to zero. Saves me a lot of time having to respond to ladies I am not interested in meeting.

I am old fashioned. I like to make the first move....
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 75
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 11/30/2011 9:21:01 PM
DSMTraveler: Perhaps you should question my computer expertise instead. I have pictures on other sites but can’t get one here… something about the pixel size.


LMAO!

I never heard that one before.

You get a C for creativity.
 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 76
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 10:19:22 AM
How disappointing, ... I worked for hours on that excuse after the dog ate my good one!

Actually, instead of laughing... some helpful advice would be more appreciated.
 celtpinellas
Joined: 11/28/2011
Msg: 77
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 10:56:38 AM
I'm am not posting my pic at the moment because I am recently separated, there is a co-worker on here and I don't want gossiped about at work. I am happy to provide a pic when asked.

Please don't assume that there is some red flag because there is no pic. Don't judge other people so easily. How quickly would you get shouted down if this thread was about skin color...
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 78
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 11:22:30 AM

One thing I really like about not posting a profile pic is that it reduces dramatically the number of unsolicited messages I get, although not to zero. Saves me a lot of time having to respond to ladies I am not interested in meeting.I am old fashioned. I like to make the first move....


I am guessing that you contact ladies without a photo as well? Do tell us how was the outcome?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 79
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 12:42:11 PM
Everybody exchanges photos sooner or later, before any meetings take place. Anyone I have ever met has been a nice person, and a little one on one conversation is sufficient to reveal the potential for any future developments.

I have always found it rather surprising how much information people give up about themselves over the course of a few casual conversations. I think its because we are who we are, and who we are seeps out a little in every sentence.

Or maybe I am just perceptive.......
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 80
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 1:35:52 PM
Forgive me I haven't read all the posts so I might just be repeating someone else’s thoughts...
On the normal Dating Site I wouldn’t look twice at a profile without a picture but on the Forum some of the best posts I’ve read came from posters without pictures..

If a member without a picture consistently posts in a manner I find compatible to my views it’s definitely intriguing...
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 84
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 8:49:41 PM
Information on uploading pictures to POF can be found here:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1917288.aspx




DSMTraveler:

How disappointing, ... I worked for hours on that excuse after the dog ate my good one!

Actually, instead of laughing... some helpful advice would be more appreciated.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 85
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:12:37 PM

I am guessing that you contact ladies without a photo as well? Do tell us how was the outcome?

I don't know about him, but I contacted a number of women without photos and the outcome was very pleasantly surprising. Some of the most attractive women I've run across on pof were women I met who did not have photos. I considered it well worth the risk when I ran across a profile that was well enough written to get my attention without a photo. At least the worst that could happen would be spending a few hours with someone who intelligent but to whom I wasn't physically attracted and most often the mutual physical attraction isn't there photo or no photo. I was more often disappointed by women who didn't resemble their photos.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 86
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 10:02:21 PM

I was more often disappointed by women who didn't resemble their photos.

Couldn't agree more. Much safer to contact a woman without a photo in the profile and request a recent one by email.
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 87
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/2/2011 1:12:26 AM
Early on in my POF experience I did choose to contact and respond to members without pictures when I had mine posted. Mostly it did not turn out well. On another site years ago I conversed for a few months with a guy from Vancouver with no picture. When we finally met he turned out to be about 6 inches shorter than his stated height and about 60lbs heavier. I still didn't learn my lesson and had similar experiences after that. Now older and wiser I do not meet anyone without some kind of picture.

Now I don't accept messages from anyone without a picture. When I used to have my IM turned on...I would constantly get contacted by guys with NO pictures even though my profile clearly stated, "if you wish to chat please have a picture to share". This is one way people with no pictures can contact those of us with this restriction. This to me would be the first sign the person was dishonest or was just wanting sex chat.

For the past month I removed my picture from my profile but said in my profile I did have a picture to share if there was a connexion of some kind. During the time with no picture...I had only three people view my profile and not even one message. When I looked at the first 20 or so pages of profiles listed in my area...more than half do not have pictures, even hidden ones. Yet they still expect women with pictures to contact THEM?

I"ve heard all kinds of excuses...from the "I'm not smart enough to figure out how to upload one"...ok well in that case we wouldn't get along anyways.....to the "I'm a very private person, I don't have a camera of any kind, and I'm ashamed to be on a dating site"...really??? then we wouldn't get along anyways...

Just not a good sign for me...I just move on the the next profile...I've just had to go up to too many strange men in parks asking, "hi are you john?"....so weird when most of them aren't
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 88
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/2/2011 5:03:25 AM
One of the thing I have found is that really attractive women don't post pics because the immediate result of them posting a pic is a tidal wave of rude and crude messages from the cro-magnon section of the population. You talk to them a while, then in comes a pic of a real beauty.

Many of the initial contacts I have had are from women with no pic posted, and when a pic does arrive, its not been "disappointing".

It is also true, however, that I tend to spend more interest on profiles with a pic than those without.
 foxychick1
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 89
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/2/2011 4:14:41 PM
totally agree no pic no chat and defo no meet
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