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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?      Home login  
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 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 76
no pic: worth the risk?Page 4 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
How disappointing, ... I worked for hours on that excuse after the dog ate my good one!

Actually, instead of laughing... some helpful advice would be more appreciated.
 celtpinellas
Joined: 11/28/2011
Msg: 77
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 10:56:38 AM
I'm am not posting my pic at the moment because I am recently separated, there is a co-worker on here and I don't want gossiped about at work. I am happy to provide a pic when asked.

Please don't assume that there is some red flag because there is no pic. Don't judge other people so easily. How quickly would you get shouted down if this thread was about skin color...
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 78
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 11:22:30 AM

One thing I really like about not posting a profile pic is that it reduces dramatically the number of unsolicited messages I get, although not to zero. Saves me a lot of time having to respond to ladies I am not interested in meeting.I am old fashioned. I like to make the first move....


I am guessing that you contact ladies without a photo as well? Do tell us how was the outcome?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 79
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 12:42:11 PM
Everybody exchanges photos sooner or later, before any meetings take place. Anyone I have ever met has been a nice person, and a little one on one conversation is sufficient to reveal the potential for any future developments.

I have always found it rather surprising how much information people give up about themselves over the course of a few casual conversations. I think its because we are who we are, and who we are seeps out a little in every sentence.

Or maybe I am just perceptive.......
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 80
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History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 1:35:52 PM
Forgive me I haven't read all the posts so I might just be repeating someone else’s thoughts...
On the normal Dating Site I wouldn’t look twice at a profile without a picture but on the Forum some of the best posts I’ve read came from posters without pictures..

If a member without a picture consistently posts in a manner I find compatible to my views it’s definitely intriguing...
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 81
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 6:38:21 PM

I prefer someone average looking so I don't have to fend off their fan club and compete with such a crowd all day, every day.
.

you and everyone else, I'd venture to guess that the average looking people get most of the responses.
 free4all131220
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 82
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 6:47:56 PM
azul14, the dog in your picture could be my own dog's twin, mine is a mix black lab/ springer spaniel. pretty dogs
 AlreadyHip
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 83
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 7:04:43 PM
I personally don't reply to or seek out members without a picture and the more photos and variety the better. I like the idea of dreamingly imagining myself with this person. Unfortunately, the reality could be that that isn't even their picture or not a true representation of them anyhow. Somehow, its all just a crap shoot.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 84
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 8:49:41 PM
Information on uploading pictures to POF can be found here:

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1917288.aspx




DSMTraveler:

How disappointing, ... I worked for hours on that excuse after the dog ate my good one!

Actually, instead of laughing... some helpful advice would be more appreciated.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 85
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:12:37 PM

I am guessing that you contact ladies without a photo as well? Do tell us how was the outcome?

I don't know about him, but I contacted a number of women without photos and the outcome was very pleasantly surprising. Some of the most attractive women I've run across on pof were women I met who did not have photos. I considered it well worth the risk when I ran across a profile that was well enough written to get my attention without a photo. At least the worst that could happen would be spending a few hours with someone who intelligent but to whom I wasn't physically attracted and most often the mutual physical attraction isn't there photo or no photo. I was more often disappointed by women who didn't resemble their photos.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 86
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/1/2011 10:02:21 PM

I was more often disappointed by women who didn't resemble their photos.

Couldn't agree more. Much safer to contact a woman without a photo in the profile and request a recent one by email.
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 87
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/2/2011 1:12:26 AM
Early on in my POF experience I did choose to contact and respond to members without pictures when I had mine posted. Mostly it did not turn out well. On another site years ago I conversed for a few months with a guy from Vancouver with no picture. When we finally met he turned out to be about 6 inches shorter than his stated height and about 60lbs heavier. I still didn't learn my lesson and had similar experiences after that. Now older and wiser I do not meet anyone without some kind of picture.

Now I don't accept messages from anyone without a picture. When I used to have my IM turned on...I would constantly get contacted by guys with NO pictures even though my profile clearly stated, "if you wish to chat please have a picture to share". This is one way people with no pictures can contact those of us with this restriction. This to me would be the first sign the person was dishonest or was just wanting sex chat.

For the past month I removed my picture from my profile but said in my profile I did have a picture to share if there was a connexion of some kind. During the time with no picture...I had only three people view my profile and not even one message. When I looked at the first 20 or so pages of profiles listed in my area...more than half do not have pictures, even hidden ones. Yet they still expect women with pictures to contact THEM?

I"ve heard all kinds of excuses...from the "I'm not smart enough to figure out how to upload one"...ok well in that case we wouldn't get along anyways.....to the "I'm a very private person, I don't have a camera of any kind, and I'm ashamed to be on a dating site"...really??? then we wouldn't get along anyways...

Just not a good sign for me...I just move on the the next profile...I've just had to go up to too many strange men in parks asking, "hi are you john?"....so weird when most of them aren't
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 88
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/2/2011 5:03:25 AM
One of the thing I have found is that really attractive women don't post pics because the immediate result of them posting a pic is a tidal wave of rude and crude messages from the cro-magnon section of the population. You talk to them a while, then in comes a pic of a real beauty.

Many of the initial contacts I have had are from women with no pic posted, and when a pic does arrive, its not been "disappointing".

It is also true, however, that I tend to spend more interest on profiles with a pic than those without.
 foxychick1
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 89
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/2/2011 4:14:41 PM
totally agree no pic no chat and defo no meet
 cupper3
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 90
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/4/2011 8:53:58 PM
I did in the past, but experiences has taught me... DON'T.

It might be viewed as shallow, and so be it. "A Few Extra Pounds" shows up and would make Rosie O'Donnell look positively skinny.

A "trust me, you'll like my looks" appeared and looked like she went bobbing for french fries.

You get the picture.

Pictures (yes, plural). One closeup that is NOT a glamour shot, and a full body one. If that is not on the initial profile, I just won't respond if contacted, or won't contact you.

There are too many nice women out there, both in personalities and looks to bother with those that hide their features. And yes, I'm no Ken, and I don't expect you to be Barbie.
 carnutz1749
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 91
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/4/2011 9:12:41 PM
Well said, Sevlepo!
 southerncelt
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 92
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/6/2011 7:01:44 AM
I agree with what you said about not reading your profile if they still get in touch with you. I don't post a picture because I'm from a small town and in my job I meet a lot of people. I just don't want to have to deal with awkward moments on the job. I'm in health care and have enough to deal with already. If someone says "no pics- no contact" then I respect that person's wishes. I do read the whole profile. I am more interested in someone's heart than I am looks. Looks are important, but people at my age are all showing signs of wear. When I talk to someone on here I volunteer to send them pictures. And I send them body and face shots. Just my 2 cents worth.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 93
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/7/2011 12:50:48 PM
southerncelt: I don't post a picture because I'm from a small town and in my job I meet a lot of people. I just don't want to have to deal with awkward moments on the job. I'm in health care and have enough to deal with already


This makes no sense to me at all.

I think we all agree that no picture means much less response rate and therefore less chance of successfully meeting your next relationship partner on the dating site, which is the reason you're there in the first place.

So.. you don't post a picture because you prefer to "avoid awkward moments on the job "and you have "enough to deal with already". Sorry life is so tough but I'm thinking who gives a rat's ass if someone you work with sees your picture on a dating site.. vs being all worried about some sort of awkward moment while shooting yourself in the foot by hiding yourself.

I'm a self employed eye doc in my town and I run into patients very often online, they'll sometimes message me a friendly hello to the effect of "Hi doc, how are you doing with this site, gotta see you soon for new glasses!" .. once or twice I messaged a woman not realizing she was a patient. Do you think either one of us care that we found each other on a dating site?
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 94
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/7/2011 1:21:04 PM

One of the thing I have found is that really attractive women don't post pics because the immediate result of them posting a pic is a tidal wave of rude and crude messages from the cro-magnon section of the population. You talk to them a while, then in comes a pic of a real beauty.


Perhaps I need my eyes checked because I do see a whole lot of beautiful women with online pictures posted.. I have also noticed you flirt with them on the boards.. lol

However glad you hit potluck with the ones that chose not to post one..

nativerock
 CountryGal4X4
Joined: 11/25/2011
Msg: 95
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/7/2011 1:29:49 PM
I hate to have my picture taken and I am sure others feel the same way. I did upload one and it came out all blurry and horrible. Maybe that's why some don't do it. ...I know that's my ecuse and I am sticking to it! LOL
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 96
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/7/2011 2:01:22 PM

On the normal Dating Site I wouldn’t look twice at a profile without a picture but on the Forum some of the best posts I’ve read came from posters without pictures..


WHAT.... There's a dating site for normal people?


If a member without a picture consistently posts in a manner I find compatible to my views it’s definitely intriguing...


"Sometimes" it is. Long before I became a PoF member, I did the "telephone dating thingy." I remember chatting with this one fellow for hours and hours before we finally agreed to meet....either one of us knew what the other looked like. But I was intrigued by him. All that apprehension. It made for a very exciting "first meet"

While he was not what one would consider very attractive...he had attractive qualities. He was a nice man, very gracious, well travelled and quite interesting to talk to. He and I did not hit it off romantically, (happens a lot) however, we did go out a few more times before it kinda just fizzled.

Ya know, we eat with our eyes first and for me, I still prefer to have "some idea" what a person looks like before we meet....


...mae
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 97
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/9/2011 9:16:09 AM
CountryGal4X4 : I hate to have my picture taken and I am sure others feel the same way. I did upload one and it came out all blurry and horrible. Maybe that's why some don't do it. ...I know that's my ecuse and I am sticking to it! LOL


Nowadays with point and shoot digital cameras and easy to use image editing software, if a person doesn't post a picture because they're unable to:

1) take a whole bunch of them by either doing in a mirror, aiming the camera at themself, or *gasp* asking a friend or coworker to do it (if you don't have any friends),
2) keep the best few and scrap the rest
3) edit them to crop out unwanted parts and adjust the brightness

..all because they "don't know how".. they have bigger problems than getting a date.

If a woman said this to me as the reason her picture was posted I'd kindly respond that we aren't a good match because I don't find the conversations with people who have below average intelligence, to be all that interesting.
 CynM
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 98
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/10/2011 7:19:25 AM
When I was looking it didn't matter if there were pics or no pics on the profile since you never know until meeting or webcam whether the pics are actually of that person and current.


no pic: worth the risk?

Risk of what? Unless you're talking long distance it's just a ficken coffee meet. You show up, take one look, they don't trip your trigger, you drink a cup, chat, and say goodbye. OMG! that was risky.

If it's long distance (and I've done several 300-3000 miles first meets) then even a few still photos is not sufficient because stills can be 'stolen' from anywhere. Long distance should be webcam before meeting. That said, my SO didn't have a cam when I first contacted him and it was such a whirlwind that he didn't have time to get one before we met. So, he'd seen me on cam but I'd only seen a few stills and we'd talked on the phone before I flew 3000 miles and he drove 5 hrs. I was not disappointed. I was like this on the outside This on the inside
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 99
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/10/2011 8:29:41 AM
yeah, not much of a risk, I agree. Unless you are going to fly 300 miles--wow, I'm glad it worked out. I know I would not have done that "sight unseen." But maybe that's b/c I'm in a place in my life where that would be irresponsible. I can see a time when it would be more like, "why the heck not? I need a weekend away!" And if it didn't work, I'd still have a new place to explore.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 100
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/10/2011 9:24:06 AM
Risk of what?


I agree, risk is probably not the right word. I think the question is simply whether it's worth initiating or responding to contact.

I don't rule it out, but I won't meet someone without seeing a picture beforehand. I don't think that's unreasonable and I won't converse very long with someone unwilling to comply.
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