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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?      Home login  
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 vfourmax
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 101
no pic: worth the risk?Page 5 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
I prefer a picture but will not exclude a person because they do not post one.

I do expect a fairly current picture to be sent within a reasonable time frame if the contacts continue.

I do have my preferences as far as what I find attractive in general in my profile so hopefully someone that contacts me will have read that and fit that criteria.

Pictures do not always tell the tale though and I went out to meet one lady that when we met her picture she posted was at least ten years old if not older. I felt that from the time of meeting her in person that she had been less than honest up front and that along with other things did influence my choice as far as further future contact.

I try to be honest and straightforward and I expect the same from someone I may be trying to get to know. I see no advantage to being deceitful because trust and honesty once lost is very hard to regain.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 102
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/10/2011 6:37:48 PM

rec_diver said:

If a woman said this to me as the reason her picture was not posted I'd kindly respond that we aren't a good match because I don't find the conversations with people who have below average intelligence, to be all that interesting.


I took the liberty of adding the highlighted word ("not") in the quote above, as I am 99% certain that is what you intended to say.

And I did want to take exception to your post. I myself am attracted to intelligent, highly educated women. Not exclusively, mind you, but ....

With that said, I know / have known many women with above average intelligence and education who were not very good at computers and related things. They invariably needed help with editing digital photographs and uploading to websites, etc.

Just saying.....
 positivelypam
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 103
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/10/2011 8:06:00 PM
If they don't post a picture then I won't respond.
 JackEsq
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 104
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/10/2011 10:22:33 PM
Minimal risk. A few e-mails. If no pic then, discontinue.

Further, MAIN photos of women with sunglasses, pets, or far in background all spell trouble.
 shan9413
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 105
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 7:33:42 AM
Forget about worrying what the guy looks like...that's the least of it. When someone chooses NOT to include pics with their profile it can mean a few things. The important one, though, is that they're usually trying to hide something...usually they're either married or involved in an ongoing relationship.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 106
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 9:10:02 AM
With that said, I know / have known many women with above average intelligence and education who were not very good at computers and related things. They invariably needed help with editing digital photographs and uploading to websites, etc.

Just saying.....


And you would be looking at one of those woman...lol. I would most certainly take exception if someone thought me to have below average intelligience just because I didn't know how to upload a photo. Ouch!!!

Initially, it was my daughter who uploaded my photo to this site...but when it came time to change my pics, oh boy....it was only through trial and error that I finally figured out how to do it on my own.

We just recently moved into a new home....what a nightmare (for me) to have to set up and re-connect everything from the tv, blue-ray to the computers....All I can say is..."thank heaven for tech savvy kids"...lol

...mae
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 107
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 10:25:23 AM

Forget about worrying what the guy looks like...that's the least of it. When someone chooses NOT to include pics with their profile it can mean a few things. The important one, though, is that they're usually trying to hide something...usually they're either married or involved in an ongoing relationship.


Sadly that is often the case, and that goes for both sexes that do not post a photo..

nativerock
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 108
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 10:59:45 AM
Yep Mae, there ARE some of us who have a fair amount of intelligence and also a fair amount of common sense who just don't have the knack of grasping all the ins & outs of some of the modern day technology.

Just like some of the high tech people (or medium tech even, lol) might not be wired to grasp with understanding other 'intelligent' things.

Now I do think, though, that if you're here wanting to get friends/dates/whatevers and you can't upload a photo you should ask for help from family/friend/neighbor/whomever.

~~~~
I'm bold enough to put out there a picture of overweight old me sittin' in my wheelchair.
I figure if I can do it, the other person should at least send a picture with their hello email if there is none on their profile.

Not that I get many hello emails... haha, almost none... but I guess that's because I put up my picture of overweight old me sittin' in my wheelchair!

Which is why I think some don't put up pictures.. they're hiding what they really look like in hopes of getting mail vs. my predictiment of no mail.
Or they're hiding from a spouse.
Or they're just not all that truly interested in putting out effort.
All of the above.. meh, not interested in them either.

BUT.. I think that some jobs make one lean towards not posting a photo. And I understand that.
If I were a teacher.. no photo would be here.
Most of the kids of nowdays DO understand modern technology .. sure enough one would find it, lol...and I'd not relish my photo and info being flashed around between all my students and their friends in the school.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 109
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no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 11:17:41 AM
Others with no pic: Marriage counselor, relationship coach, sex therapist, divorce lawyer, anybody in public office or running for one,
people in the midst of a divorce....and a lot of other people who just value their privacy.....
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 110
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 1:17:25 PM

Others with no pic: Marriage counselor, relationship coach, sex therapist, divorce lawyer, anybody in public office or running for one, people in the midst of a divorce....and a lot of other people who just value their privacy.....


Dated a few lawyers and one was a divorce lawyer the other was a lawyer for the state of Vermont and none of them had a problem posting lots of public photos of themselves..

Would not be interested in dating someone that was in the midst of a divorce he would still be legally married and doubt he would be looking to couple again real soon..

I value my privacy and do not feel it is invaded by having some photos of myself online.. Just try and get into my Fort Knox here.. lol

nativerock
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 111
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 1:24:28 PM
I'm a teacher and I could not possibly care less if my students or their families saw, commented on, or flashed around my pic and profile.

I teach high school. You will not survive if you are someone who can be embarrassed for just being who and what you are.

Of course, the one who would be embarrassed would be the kid who found the pic, when asked by his/her classmates, "What were you doing, looking on a dating site for pics of old ladies?" :0
 Oklahoma_gent
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 112
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 3:43:02 PM
I would like to voice an opinion as someone who does not have a picture posted on their profile. I am not married and it has nothing to do with my looks. I do not post a picture because of my job. It is just an observation but I have noticed on here that some people are very cynical. There are very quick to think the worst of someone and voice their opinions before they know all of the facts. Many people are very insecure about their looks which is something many times totally beyond their control. I think the point here is that if you are so shallow to allow looks to be the only factor in deciding whether you are willing to get to know someone you probably deserve to be alone. I know some people will take issue with this opinion and say I am lying but that simply proves my point.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 113
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 4:09:03 PM

I think the point here is that if you are so shallow to allow looks to be the only factor in deciding whether you are willing to get to know someone you probably deserve to be alone.


My observation is that people think it's shallow when they are potentially the person being excluded. When they are the one doing the excluding, it's a personal choice.

Physical appearance is a valid criterion when it comes to choosing a potential mate. Whining about it isn't going to change human behavior.
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 114
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 5:15:10 PM

think the point here is that if you are so shallow to allow looks to be the only factor in deciding whether you are willing to get to know someone you probably deserve to be alone.


Then I guess it's safe to assume that you, not being shallow and all, only contact and or accept contact from those without a photo?

Insisting that a person has pictures on their profiles is NOT all about looks nor does it mean one is cynical. It is a FACT that (most) married or otherwise taken people aren't going to splatter their pics on a dating site where their spouse, their kids, their family, their co-workers, their neighbours might see them.

On a previous profile, before I enabled the "must have a pic to contact this user" filter, ALL not most, not many, not some, but ALL who contacted me without a pic ON their profiles were either married or in long term relationships. That's not cynicism sir, that's a fact.

Another thing that's often overlooked....I don't mind chatting with fellow forummites or with people who live outside my area who have no pics...why? Because it's only chat and the chances of us meeting in real life are next to none.

However, I have no intentions of chatting and possibly forming a bond or friendship with a person, male or female, from my area who doesn't have a pic. Why you ask? Because that person could be a neighbour, or the guy down the street, or my kid's teacher, my dentist, my doctor, an ex co-worker ...my pictures are on my profile so they know what I look like and they might even know WHO I am which automatically puts me at a disadvantage. .

One more thing....do you (not you but general picture-less you) walk around with a paper bag over your head when you're out in public? What about when you're going out specifically to chat or meet with new people? Do you hide your face? And more importantly, do you make sure to cover your eyes so you don't see who you're talking to?
 la1255
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 115
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 5:24:25 PM
I totally agree, when it comes down to it - it truly is a CHOICE
 la1255
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 116
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 5:36:54 PM
with that being said, I wont respond unless there is a photo, I dont think it's shallow at all - this site is a tool to help you find a partner, let's be honest - you have to be physically attracted as well as intellectually attracted..how about a picture and no profile information..same thing in my opinion.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 117
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 5:46:31 PM
rearguard*2Marriage counselor, relationship coach, sex therapist, divorce lawyer, anybody in public office or running for one,
people in the midst of a divorce....and a lot of other people who just value their privacy.....




Oklahoma_gent: I would like to voice an opinion as someone who does not have a picture posted on their profile. I am not married and it has nothing to do with my looks. I do not post a picture because of my job. I know some people will take issue with this opinion and say I am lying but that simply proves my point.


Here ya go.. two different posts saying the same old BS.

The first guy lists a bunch of jobs as a reason why a person wouldn't post a picture.. and none of those jobs would be the least bit affected if the person was *gasp* seen on a dating site. He lists "someone in the midst of a divorce". So what? A person getting divorced isn't allowed to date? Unless he's not supposed to be dating for some reason and then we're talking about someone who is being deceptive so that doesn't count. A person going through a divorce isn't in a good place to date but that's another story.

The second guy comes up with the old over used "job excuse" as well but doesn't even say what job would prohibit him from being allowed to post a picture on a dating site so he can *gasp* meet someone and have a relationship.

Which.. as the second guy said in his post "It only proves my point".

There's no good reason not to post a picture unless you've got something to hide.
 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 118
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 8:00:39 PM
I don't post a pic because I live in a small town and don't want every Tom,****and Harry recognizing me in the street. Guys can request a photo, or two, and generally I'm happy to provide one.
I'm currently having a lot of fun with a guy who also didn't post a pic on his profile, but was happy to send one when it looked like we were hitting it off. We met soon after and are having a ball together.
For me, it isn't about good looks as the primary reason for getting together; it's personality, intelligence, sense of fun, conversational skills, etc.
 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 119
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 8:04:16 PM
Gosh, I write****as in Richard and this site inserts **** instead. So Tom, Richard and Harry isn't a reasonable phrase anymore. How funny.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 120
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 8:23:31 PM

SeaCatcher Message: I don't post a pic because I live in a small town and don't want every Tom,****and Harry recognizing me in the street.


Really? Is this a big problem? You post a picture on your dating profile and you can't make it down the street without being mobbed by guys who say "I saw you on that dating site!"

I guess that can be very inconvenient.

 SeaCatcher
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 121
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 9:21:20 PM
rec diver commented on my post:
[SeaCatcher Message: I don't post a pic because I live in a small town and don't want every Tom,****and Harry recognizing me in the street.


Really? Is this a big problem? You post a picture on your dating profile and you can't make it down the street without being mobbed by guys who say "I saw you on that dating site!"

I guess that can be very inconvenient.]

And I work in a public profile job and write a newspaper column with my picture affixed. I really would be recognized, and I actually do enjoy the modicum of anonymity I have, without more attention on me. My dating exploits don't need advertising.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 122
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 9:44:54 PM
SeaCatcher :And I work in a public profile job and write a newspaper column with my picture affixed. I really would be recognized, and I actually do enjoy the modicum of anonymity I have, without more attention on me. My dating exploits don't need advertising.


Are the streets really that crowded with people that create a nuisance by rushing up to you asking for dates because they saw you online after reading your newspaper column? Has this ever happened or do you just think the quiet streets will turn to uncontrolled chaos as potential suitors climb all over themselves to get to the head of the line to ask out the hot newspaper editor?

I'm sure the mayor is going to give you a commendation for keeping the peace.

 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 123
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History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/11/2011 10:11:46 PM
Take it easy on her. She's pretty new to the sight, maybe new to online dating, and yes, when you live in a small town it can make a difference. Eventually she may realize the online dating really isn't taboo and who cares if they know she is online. She is dipping her toes into the water.

My daughter boldly signed me up, then when she told me about it I hid my profile for quite awhile. I wasn't ready.

I think a person should at least send a photo with their first message if they don't have one posted on their profile.
 diamondandpearl
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 124
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/12/2011 1:05:25 AM
To me, most people that have no pictures are usually married, unfaithful type, got something to hide, either got high security jobs (if they going to email or sent a picture later that would be fair enough) or usually are unattractive and try to win people over with their inner beauty.

Hey why on the dating site if you don't want people to contact you? What is the big secret and big deal that you need to hide your photos. If people going to find you unattractive so what, who cares, it's what you are born with.

For god sake why would you meet someone on the net without knowing what they do look like, think of your safety first, they could be a rapist or axe murder you never know, why risk your life over it.

You are not desparate! You can pick and choose whoever you want to date just like going to the supermarket and pick whatever you want. No I would not meet anyone over the net especially with no photos!!
 northwildwoodnjman1969
Joined: 9/24/2011
Msg: 125
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 12/12/2011 5:15:42 AM
No pic = Low self esteem
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