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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > no pic: worth the risk?      Home login  
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 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 201
no pic: worth the risk?Page 9 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
TraveliciousGuy:
Since NO ONE is REQUIRED by the site to post a pic on the site, everyone gets free choice and those who choose not to post a pic are exercising their free choice just as much as those who do post a pic when they are not required to.


Aren't you sort of stating the obvious? I don't recall any poster saying anything even remotely close to "you must post your picture or you are in violation of the rules!".

I am one who has suggested.. even stated outright that most if not all the time, a person who doesn't post their picture has something to hide, that would make dating them a dealbreaker, which is why they don't post their picture in the first place.

Every time I read a post by a particular pictureless profile poster, it reinforces my theory because they do such a poor job of trying to justify their reason, not that they have to justify it to me or anyone else.

Going back to the title of this thread, no, I don't think it's worth the risk of spending your valuable time trying to meet a pictureless person.



 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 202
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/13/2012 12:32:55 PM

Aren't you sort of stating the obvious?I don't recall any poster saying anything even remotely close to "you must post your picture or you are in violation of the rules!".


Yes, I am stating the obvious, because so many people keep ignoring the obvious when they complain about people with no pics as though they have violated some rule.
When I see a woman's profile that says "I posted my pic, so you need to as well", they are saying that guys have to make the same "free choice" she did, which defeats the whole concept of "free choice."
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 203
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/13/2012 12:44:18 PM

TraveliciousGuy:

Yes, I am stating the obvious, because so many people keep ignoring the obvious when they complain about people with no pics as though they have violated some rule.
When I see a woman's profile that says "I posted my pic, so you need to as well", they are saying that guys have to make the same "free choice" she did, which defeats the whole concept of "free choice."


I don't see it the way you do.

If I was to read that in a profile, my interpretation is "If you expect a response from me then you need to post a picture, because I believe it's an important part of the dating experience and I feel I have good reason to not bother with a person who has chosen not to post a picture and here's my picture to show you that I mean what I say".

It's like a store owner trying to sell a product. They can market it any way they want, they can take a picture, or describe it in an advertisement, or whatever. It's their choice how they describe it (although in the case of a store merchant there ARE rules about being deceptive), and it's the free choice of the potential shopper to be interested or to eventually make a purchase.

It's not a matter of "rules" or "rights" or "laws", it's a matter of what is acceptable to a potential dating partner and in this game, that's all that matters.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 204
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/13/2012 12:52:50 PM
Most people tend to not see things as I do.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 205
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/13/2012 1:30:47 PM
When I see a woman's profile that says "I posted my pic, so you need to as well", they are saying that guys have to make the same "free choice" she did, which defeats the whole concept of "free choice."


Actually, they are saying you need to post a pic as well if you want a reply should you email them. Which is their prerogative.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 206
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/13/2012 2:47:29 PM
To those without pictures...do you really go to buy things on craigslist that has no pic?



Seriously you can even filter out items there by those with or without pictures...

yea you can post something on there without a pic but i bet you will never sell it...likewise you can have a profile on here with no pic and get few replies.
 IntoMist
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 207
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/13/2012 5:01:20 PM
I have met a few guys without showing my pic and they liked what they saw, seemed pleasantly surprised and pursued me. Unfortunately we didn't click.

Any guy who asks about a pic immediately and then either dismisses me immediately or is refuses to meet without a pic is definately not for me. This signals that he reaches conclusions too hastily and is closed minded, has no balls, and/or is overly superficial....and I have had some of the homliest looking guys refuse to meet because I didn't have a pic....go figure.
I don't show a pic for professional reasons only and there are some of us out there who are actual professionals and would rather not advertise ourselves.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 208
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/13/2012 7:39:38 PM

To those without pictures...do you really go to buy things on craigslist that has no pic?



Seriously you can even filter out items there by those with or without pictures...

yea you can post something on there without a pic but i bet you will never sell it...likewise you can have a profile on here with no pic and get few replies.


Men make the contact...right?If I happen to notice a member for some reason nearby that truly interests me,I would send a pic.


Look,guys in their fifties are not going to attract much attention unless you post something that truly interests them.Maybe some people missed the tests sensualseeker posted,and the results he got.This is a woman's shopping channel.If they see aspects that truly interest them...they might respond.In sensualseeker's case he posted that he was in the medical field.He got a bunch of queries as to whether he was a doctor.If they want sex many post that they seek out younger men....in fact they don't have to look,the pups find them.So the odds that some woman might actually contact you first are incredibly low....the women that have contacted me on another site where I have a pic are usually looking for a man to move in to help with the bills.


If I relied on online I would starve...
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 209
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/13/2012 8:55:21 PM
TraveliciousGuy: Most people tend to not see things as I do.


That can be a problem when you're on a dating site and looking to connect with women who are going to want to meet guys that see things the way they do.


MindfulnessJourney:
Any guy who asks about a pic immediately and then either dismisses me immediately or is refuses to meet without a pic is definately not for me. This signals that he reaches conclusions too hastily and is closed minded, has no balls, and/or is overly superficial....


Yeah ok. Welcome to the real world. Both men AND women look at the pictures first, and if they like what they see, they go and read the profile. There has to be a physical attraction before anything else can click and when you don't show a picture you are sending a signal and you're sending it loud and clear. You've got something to hide, and it's usually that you're a fugly. Guys like me don't waste time with women like you for that very reason, we'd rather spend one of our most valuable commodities, which is our TIME, pursuing women that aren't afraid to post their picture because they don't suffer from low self esteem regardless of what they look like, and they don't use the old BS excuse of "oh I'm a professional so I can't be caught on a dating site". Give me a break with this crap already, you aren't fooling me or anyone else.

I have infinitely more respect for the 300 pounder who sends me a hello message, knowing she'll probably be shot down, as compared to a pictureless profile person who sends me a message which basically says "hello from an invisible woman, I'm going to waste your time with a message that you'll never respond to because I'm hiding behind my computer screen".



 Kiznet
Joined: 4/2/2010
Msg: 210
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/14/2012 2:59:50 AM
Watch out! I asked for photo and yes he delivered! What is the problem all I got was in shots. I am interested in seeing you as a person not your nude body! Those guys are shut off right away. Tells me they have some real issues.

Then there are the ones who have photos of just skin. Yes I love a great looking man whom is in great shape but leave something to the imagination...
 BettyMcFattttyPants
Joined: 12/9/2011
Msg: 211
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/14/2012 5:52:58 AM

am one who has suggested.. even stated outright that most if not all the time, a person who doesn't post their picture has something to hide, that would make dating them a dealbreaker, which is why they don't post their picture in the first place.

Every time I read a post by a particular pictureless profile poster, it reinforces my theory because they do such a poor job of trying to justify their reason, not that they have to justify it to me or anyone else.


I am behind rec_diver on this 100%. (nice aSs btw). I have seen evidence of this right in these very forums. (not of his behind-I'm talking about no pic=shady).

One pictureless poster springs right to mind. She has posted a thread in the past and posted in threads of multiple dates gone wrong. It's always the man's fault., acording to her. I surmise it's because she claims to be good looking but has no pic. The men meet her and get Pissed because her version of good looking means 400lbs packed in a 200lb sausage casing, 20 years past its due date.
 gaianotvenus
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 212
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/14/2012 6:56:11 AM
No main profile photo of recent reflection is indicative of secrecy. (The photo of the sunglasses, the hats hiding the brow and those photos of your pets are no different.)
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 213
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/14/2012 7:43:34 AM
Any guy who asks about a pic immediately and then either dismisses me immediately or is refuses to meet without a pic is definately not for me. This signals that he reaches conclusions too hastily and is closed minded, has no balls, and/or is overly superficial....and I have had some of the homliest looking guys refuse to meet because I didn't have a pic....go figure.


If he has already dismissed you, what difference does it make whether he is definately (sic) not for you? It's like you want vengeance because he's hesitant about flying blind.

LOL, there's that superficial word again. Do you realize how ridiculous it is when you look at his picture and label him "homly" (sic), but then call him superficial for requesting a picture from you?

Face it, when you don't have a picture on your profile you are going to be regarded with suspicion. It's up to you to even things up by providing a picture as soon as possible.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 214
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/14/2012 10:13:04 AM

That can be a problem when you're on a dating site and looking to connect with women who are going to want to meet guys that see things the way they do.


Considering the massive number of "boo hoo, pity me" posts on the forums from people WITH pictures who had an unpleasant experience, it doesn't seem like the "connecting" part has anything much to do with pictures, only the "contacting" part.


 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 215
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/14/2012 5:05:27 PM
Considering the massive number of "boo hoo, pity me" posts on the forums from people WITH pictures who had an unpleasant experience, it doesn't seem like the "connecting" part has anything much to do with pictures, only the "contacting" part.


And what were the results of the dates on average?4% resulted in a SECOND date.Wow.I know that I certainly have better and more productive things to do with my precious time ,unless you're just seeking to play the players.
 Irby4U
Joined: 10/24/2011
Msg: 216
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/14/2012 5:33:02 PM
I have read several of the posts on this forum and I just thought I would put my two cents worth in..for whatever it is worth. First of all, with me, there has to be a physical attraction before I go any further. I don't want to talk to a faceless person. The internet is full of people that hide behind a computer screen for one reason or another. Even with a picture you can't be sure who you are talking with. But for me..no picture...I keep on clicking.
 marylouise123
Joined: 6/5/2010
Msg: 217
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/14/2012 6:30:17 PM
You said it the best. I love it.
 Rokei57
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 218
view profile
History
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/15/2012 2:40:39 PM
I bought a watch on Ebay once without benefit of a picture. The description sounded exactly like what I was looking for. Of course when it arrived it was nothing like the description. I feel like I'd be shopping on Ebay again if I chose to meet a man with no picture, just a description.
 usedot4
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 219
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/16/2012 8:17:47 AM
I could not agree with you more, it is a personal choice. Not everyone has something to hide as so portrayed by some on here. It is possible they enjoy their privacy more then your acceptance of the choice they made. Is it worth the risk to talk to someone without a picture, absolutely? You can always ask them their reasons and determine if it worth talking to them. A picture tells you nothing about a person traits and habits. In reality, how do I know that you actually look like that anyhow? You talk to people on the phone and you have no idea what they look like or who they even are. Talking with a person tells you far more about them then any picture ever could. Just because you have a nice picture does not mean you’re a nice person. If your vanity won’t allow you to talk to a person without a picture, least admit it. Send them a nice reply say so and wish them a great day. If we were to judge everyone on here by their picture, heck half the people on here would never get a message.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 220
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/16/2012 10:10:53 AM
I recently added a pic to my profile. Have received several messages from men telling me I am too ugly to be on POF (they failed Manners 101 me thinks), several from men telling me I am cute, none from several men I have been cooresponding with which is fine if I am not their type, and some other messages from men who had already responded to me before I posted a pic and I was not interested. I will leave the pic for a day or two and then remove it. Life goes on, with or without a pic.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 221
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/16/2012 3:19:02 PM

First of all, with me, there has to be a physical attraction before I go any further. I don't want to talk to a faceless person


A physical attraction would be number two on my list....after I can get an idea of what the person is about.Problem is,you can rarely get any idea of the actual figure of a large percentage of members here.The waistline is almost always well hidden.All the people with a waistline to hide will deride those that might show some skin or declare that they would screw anything.A face pic and a profile,as stated by so many middle aged men,does not get them any appreciable traffic....
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 222
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/16/2012 3:23:02 PM
Some of us state on our profiles that we are larger people, and believe it or not, there are some men who like larger women and women who like larger men. I rarely see anyone who looks like a supermodel or a famous actor, even if they "take care of themselves" as the saying goes.
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 223
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/16/2012 7:56:00 PM

Some of us state on our profiles that we are larger people, and believe it or not, there are some men who like larger women and women who like larger men. I rarely see anyone who looks like a supermodel or a famous actor, even if they "take care of themselves" as the saying goes.


And I can respect that,for a larger framed man this is perfect.Some guys do like the Cadillac ride. But you know there are so many not being truthful,men and women,people complaining nobody recognizes their dates when they meet etc....
 jollymonross
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 224
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/18/2012 5:43:58 PM
I put in a lot of effort to find my match on POF and that includes posting photos of myself. My personal rule is that I don't respond to or contact anyone without a photo. It tells me that the person has something to hide or just isn't really fully participating in their own lives. I want someone that is fully invested in everything that they do.
 Iascaireachta_arís
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 225
no pic: worth the risk?
Posted: 1/19/2012 6:38:46 PM

or just isn't really fully participating in their own lives. I want someone that is fully invested in everything that they do.
I always find comments like this interesting. I am fully invested in my real life in real time...I don't walk around with a paper bag on my head for pete's sake. But I also don't talk to every stranger on every corner. It's just not who I am.

Here...we are all really faceless until we actually meet anyway.

For a woman it's always safer to have a little caution. It's just the way it is.

It also seems to be a case of a few tainting the rest...those who have truly dishonest reasons for being on a dating site cause an overall judgement for some of those who just don't want to post a picture all the time. Another case of it is what it is. So we are not all a match for whatever reason...too easily duped, too judgmental, too shy, too cautious, too anything. Those that are meant to be will figure it out in the end.
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