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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Apparently, I'm psycho      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 92
Apparently, I'm psychoPage 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
What exactly do you expect to gain after wasting thousands in therapy?

This bf of yours is just as messed up as you are, if he keeps coming back for more! Seriously, this dude is off his rocker just like you. Maybe he can attend therapy with you and split the costs? Maybe the therapist can give you some sort of 2-fer discount? I'd check with him/her.
 part deux
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 93
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Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:23:12 AM
Do not EVER discourage someone who (obviously) needs therapy to stop going. "wasting thousands of dollars". Really? Are you a doctor or a health care professional? How do you know what her therapy costs?
 Rockfordsteel
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 94
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:58:34 AM
exhilaratedandlively,

I believe you are so afraid of losing him, you're spending your energies, not working on the relationship or enjoying your time with your boyfriend, but on getting him to "show he cares" every time you have a bout of insecurity. You need to know that you are driving him away for no other reason than your own insecurities.

Every time you attempt to control his behavior, or "punish" him for not doing what you want him to do, he's thinking, "Man, I'd rather be anywhere else right now." And it seems he's begun putting those thoughts into action. Each time you call or demand or punish, you need to know that it will push him one step further away.

Interrogations, accusations, and demands do not a relationship make. And healthy people scrape off clingy, controlling companions, even if they otherwise love them.

By all means, stay in therapy. You do not yet have the skills needed for a healthy relationship. I hope you resolve your issues. A healthy loving relationship is truly one of life's greatest pleasures.

-Rock
- Just my opinion, I could be wrong...
 TuffGuy666
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 95
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:40:07 PM
#112 "dear god I just read your profile..."

Bwahahaha. I second that emotion.

(I dunno, the term "hard core ball buster" sorta floats into mind.)
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 96
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/6/2012 8:43:01 PM
Yes you are a freaking psycho.

You claim to have a BF but your profile screams... "HEY CONTACT ME!"

You're a nut case.... the very definition... don't get me wrong I'd do you in a heart beat, so if you're ever in the southern Georgia (US) area... look me up :) But as far as a relationship? Not no but fuck no.... ;) Just sayin..
 wearied
Joined: 12/31/2011
Msg: 97
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/7/2012 4:41:40 AM
I bailed out on a woman in the same way, once. I had my reasons.

As it became later into the evening, she invited me into her bedroom with her to watch tv. No problem, I thought, so I follow her to the her bedroom and lay on the bed beside her--at which point she looks over at me with some sort of half-frightened look on her face and says in the meekest voice possible "is it ok if we just cuddle?"

Are you f'king kidding me? You invited me in here to make me feel as if I'm some sort of fiend you may have to protect yourself against? Riiighttt...

As soon as she nodded off to sleep, I bailed. I didn't leave a note.

Naturally, she accused me later of only being pissed because she didn't put out.
 MOTD2010
Joined: 5/18/2010
Msg: 98
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/7/2012 12:26:43 PM
It's good you are in therapy. It seems you have a problem with being ignored and without knowing your situation it is difficult to come to an accurate conclusion. Many times though people that do things like you say you do are doing them because of sometime earlier in life they experienced some form of abandonment. It could have been something such as divorce that caused one parent to abandon the family, maybe you found out you were adopted and feel abandoned by a birth mother you might not even know.
If any of these are the reason your therapist should be able to help you work your way through this.

One other thing it is not so uncommon for people to get angry over being ignored. The main thing is how we respond.
Most people that are continuously ignored by someone eventually figure out the best thing is to move on. Picking fights to get attention is a terrible long term solution. Perpetual arguing makes for a relationship that can't last or last happily.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 99
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Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/7/2012 1:33:46 PM
methinks that he's either being passive toward you, or he's emotionally checked out.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 100
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/7/2012 2:22:07 PM
Wow, looks like the two of you are quite a match!

He is not keeping in touch as frequently as you'd like, you send him confrontational texts to which he obviously responds.............. he is sneaking out on you in the middle of the night w/o leaving a note, knowing darn well the next confrontational text is coming his way.

Looks like you got it all sorted out between the two of you, and as you've done the "I love you" as you say, it seems to be working.
 Randal5
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 101
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/7/2012 3:58:06 PM
I understand about knowing intellectually what you should and should not do. I think most adults know these things, but we tend to do what we feel in the moment. Try calling a friend before you send that text. Perhaps they can talk you down and help with this problem. I have done this and found it to be helpful. This is about the most serious response I have posted. Your post seemed very sincere.
 ruspukin
Joined: 9/29/2010
Msg: 102
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/7/2012 5:49:48 PM
maybe you shouldn't date for awhile...maybe relationships are not good for you...that's a reality you may have to face
 _PassionFlower
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 103
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/7/2012 7:13:04 PM
for some couples "dysfunction" is normal....I mean, look at all the best couples, they have dysfunction. They best families have dysfunction, it makes for great comedy, love, and pain. All these people talking about "healthy relationships" are boring as hell!!! Do YOU!!!!
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 104
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 8:22:47 AM

(PassionFlower) for some couples "dysfunction" is normal....I mean, look at all the best couples, they have dysfunction. They best families have dysfunction...


"Best" is not the same thing as "well-known".


... it makes for great comedy, love, and pain.


If one derives entertainment from the sordid details of a marital breakdown, then yes.


Do YOU!!!!


Do you, what? That sentence has no verb.

Arlo...

(the easy availability of 'puters means that anyone can post, and most anyone does...)
 _Italiangirl_
Joined: 12/5/2010
Msg: 105
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:37:59 AM
If a fellow is into you intensely, he doesn't need to be "reminded" or nudged or nagged to make contact.
I think this is a twofold situation:

1. You are the typical insecure, overemotional, illogical and needy female I encounter often in everyday life, and the likes of which EVERY male with whom I've ever spoken, (as friends or in any capacity), has complained about.

2. He isn't deeply emotionally invested in, crazy about nor super duper attracted to you. When they are, believe me, it's unmistakable.
 SpiritualWay
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 106
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:53:02 AM
Psychotic? No. In need of continued therapy? absolutely. Release this guy if you care anything at all for him. Focus on your treatment. The relationship youre in cant feel good.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 107
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Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:54:48 AM

No, not psycho- codependent very much, this cycle works with him? really ?
I couldn't stand it. If you are trying to chase any sane person away- congrats.
At these insecure times you might try phoning a friend or prayer, not sick confrontations to get a response.I am not being cruel ; you are ,and If he does love you as well ,doing this will get old real fast , Think happy thoughts and let the guy off the chain . drama free zone.


Agreed 100%!!!!!!!! Been there, done that.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 108
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Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:56:57 AM

Psychotic? No. In need of continued therapy? absolutely. Release this guy if you care anything at all for him. Focus on your treatment. The relationship youre in cant feel good.


Also agreed. As a severe codepedent, you need to detach from him and concentrate on yourself. I KNOW how hard this can be. Believe me, but it's a must if you are ever going to learn and grow.
 Lionessx
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 109
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 10:06:00 AM
OP I have a lot of respect for you getting therapy.

This post reminds me of a movie that starred Michael Douglas called Fatal Attraction and one that Clint Eastwood was in called Play Misty For Me. Those women was psychos.

Coming publicly and admitting it..shows you want to get help for yourself.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 110
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Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 10:38:49 AM
Stay in therapy.

Doesn't sound like you're yet ready for a healthy relationship. When you are, you will manifest that.

If you were completely psycho, you wouldn't be asking. Keep working on it. And realize the relationship you are in is unhealthy and when you get healthy, either the relationship will have to change or it will have to end.
 Lionessx
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 111
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 11:14:11 AM

If you were completely psycho, you wouldn't be asking. Keep working on it.


good point arwen! How true! at least she is doing something about it. Admitting it is the first step toward to recovery.
 ponygt
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 112
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Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/14/2012 3:46:02 PM
OP - I'd talk to your therapist/counselor about codependency and see if they are very familiar with it. I would also do some research on it. Read a few books. Educate yourself. One I recommend is called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beatty. It's a very good book. Full of information, examples, situations, etc.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 113
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Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/15/2012 8:28:53 AM
These issues never go completely away. What therapy usually does is give you the coping skills when those feelings surface. Learned this from a very close friend who has her Masters in Psychology and has done some counseling.

Since you're dealing with subconscious issues (learned very early in life), it will be a long process. Half the battle is taking ownership of your issues and taking action to work on them. Hang in there.
 Watrluvr
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 114
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/15/2012 9:12:15 AM
Landra2, this is a wise insight and I totally agree.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 115
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/15/2012 9:17:35 AM

Half the battle is taking ownership of your issues and taking action to work on them. Hang in there.


Sorry, I can't resist but bringing something entirely unrelated to the plate, which is no way constructive;

Now we know; and knowing is half the battle.

GI JOE!!!!

Seriously, you got it. That and I think Shakti on page four had one of the best and most constructive advice you can have.
 FairlyAlright
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 116
Apparently, I'm psycho
Posted: 1/15/2012 11:23:12 AM
I am familiar with this kind of interaction. I will now project - it might not apply to you.

You need reassurance and attention from him. You resent having to pursue it, and on one level you resent the need itself. This causes you be confrontational and combative when you text him. His apologies for "upsetting you" provides an anemic form of this reassurance.

He has a similar need, which is also quasi-satisfied by your reaching out to him by texting; but at the same time, he takes the negative posturing in your texts as criticism of him personally. He becomes fed up, and withdraws.

But yeah, that taking off in the middle of the night with no note is messed up.
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