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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Love her mind, but her body repulses me      Home login  
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 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 26
Love her mind, but her body repulses mePage 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

I know I'm generalizing but a MAN who is repulsed by a woman's body is probably gay... I mean well I think only them would feel repulsive instead of unattractive towards a WOMAN. I'm not saying OP is, as I say, just generalizing...
JMO


If a man finds women in general repulsive, I'd say he's gay. A particular woman or body type... Not so much.

I'm sure it makes a woman feel better about herself to assume any man who doesn't want HER must be batting for the other team. That doesn't make it true.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 27
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:09:54 AM

Look at Bill Clinton, he had to go to his secretary.....

LOL okay, that was a cheap shot, but hell, I'm not American



That's OK. Bill Clinton barely was either... JFK had Marilyn Monroe, and the best he could do was a chubby intern.
 gingerchick30
Joined: 11/5/2011
Msg: 28
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:42:05 AM
OP, I think you already know you need to distance yourself from the situation. It would be different if you were just friends, but if you think she might be developing an attraction to you it's best to quit now before she really starts to develop feeling for you that you don't return. Be fair to her AND yourself.
 karen_x3
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 29
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:50:40 AM
Well, eventually we all become unattractive through the aging process, become incapable of sexual activity, so, what will your attraction be based upon then?
^^^Exactly! We fall in love with someone over time because of their personality. Even if we do end up with someone who is beautiful to us they can always become "repulsive" They could get into a car accident and lose their arm, get in a fire and have burn marks all over their body.
Would that really stop you from loving them? t
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 30
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 9:27:42 AM
Yes...Let her go! She deserves someone that will love her completely.
Besides...I don't know how anyone could or would want to contemplate a physical relationship with anyone who "repulses" you.
There is more to this story than just loving her "mind"....being a self proclaimed struggling artist...could it be financial gain..hard to give up??
Just asking....wouldn't be the first time.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 31
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 9:30:00 AM

Wow, you guys are so funny...... not


Well Winters, can't win 'em all. Sue me
 RotationAxle
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 32
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 9:34:00 AM
^^Well, I LOL'd at it when I read it
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 33
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 9:50:01 AM
"repulse" is a pretty strong word . Do you really mean that - like you don't feel comfortable sitting near her, or being in the same room ?

How did you learn so much about her mind then - on the phone ? Online ?

I'm not sure I could even be friends with someone who "repulsed" me - truly.

Only you know how bad it is. Stop seeing her , if you really feel this way - you're sure not doing her any favors !
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 34
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Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 10:15:12 AM
Move on travel companion.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 35
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Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 10:16:44 AM
What should you do? Does the concept of 'just friends' mean anything to you? I have male friends that I would never date.
 Fishingthereef
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 36
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 11:50:53 AM
I know the original word I used was over-the-top... 'repulsed', but I was trying to get definite opinions here and if I would have said "sort of dislike" or "not really attracted" it would have garnered much more milktoast replies.

"Repulsed" *IS* too strong of a word for this situation. I did find many of the replies helpful and enlightening, so thank you.

But... to those who suggested talking to her about it or in some other way explain the situation-- how in the heck do you do THAT? We really, really like each other and I know she wants us to move on to a much more physical relationship...

I do NOT want to hurt her.... she's had issues with her body for most of her life and I really, really tried to look past it, but can't.

I cannot see ANY way of bringing it up without it crushing her.

Because we get along so well intellectually, I can't even see a way of just breaking everything off and using the 'we can still be friends' cliche... she won't buy it (nor would I).

I'll just keep reading... but please don't be TOO cruel to me here; I know I opened myself up to the WRATH of The Forum People, but I like to think that most of you are kind in real life (even if you are not here).

Thanks.
 gingerchick30
Joined: 11/5/2011
Msg: 37
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:02:09 PM
What you said is fine and dandy, OP, but you have to look at this from her point of view. As much as cutting things off would hurt, it will hurt alot less than her going along for years hoping you'll "come around" and wasting all that time. I'm not saying that spending time with you is a waste, but you aren't wanting a romantic relationship with her, so you need to set her free to find someone that she CAN have that with. I don't care how well you get along "intellectually".
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 38
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:09:16 PM
^^Well, I LOL'd at it when I read it

So did I.

~OP~ I get it!! Been there. One time. It was rough. I didn't want to hurt his feelings but the thought of him .... and me .... uhhhhmmmmmmm ~ NO!!! There was just something about his physicality that made me cringe. Intelligent, kind, funny, handsome enough, but .... Sometimes what we love about someone can't over-come that which we don't like. If you can't do it, you can't. Nothing wrong with that. JMO
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 39
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:12:57 PM
I think you were right the first time. You like this women, you get along great, but
you find her repulsive. (and probably your friends will as well)

NONE of my friends repulse me. People don't have "repulsive" friends.

She's not your friend. She's a woman you like intellectually but wish her intellect
was in another body. Don't be too cruel to you? Are you kidding me?

She deserves better. Tell her.
 StealthyNinjaKitty
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 40
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:16:09 PM
If you're going to try to be "just friends" make sure that you steer any conversation that ventures into the "relationship" territory back to neutral topics...she should get the hint in no time. If she doesn't, you may have to be blunt, and while I understand that you don't want to hurt her, if she's under the mistaken impression that you're interested in her as an entire package, at some point, you have to disabuse that notion. Otherwise, as previous posters have said, you're just leading her on. And I agree with the ones that state it would be less hurtful to let her go now rather than letting it drag out if you have no intention of making your lack of interest known. If she has such a great mind, have you considered introducing her to other single men that you know, who may be attracted to both her intelligence and body?
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 41
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:17:26 PM
You may think you are doing her a favor by sticking around and still seeing her,but I can promise her you are not doing her any favors.Let this woman go find someone who is not repulsed by her.We all deserve that and you are stopping her from doing this by you favor.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 42
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:18:38 PM
That is a tough one Op, you are attracted enough to who she is to want to go forward, but your body is revolting at the very idea..

I can understand that you don't want to hurt her feelings, especially since she has already brought it up so the issue is already out in the open to some degree.

The way I see it, you have two choices.. either go ahead and see if the physical attraction can grow and risk hurting her even more, or.. bite the bullet and tell her how you are feeling. Either way there will be hurt.. put yourself in her shoes and ask yourself which you would prefer? You can never go wrong with the golden rule.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 43
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:32:18 PM
Well..I will apologize for writing such biting words in my last post....you seem to be coming across as a genuine nice guy.
How did you get yourself in such a pickle? I have met quite a few men since I have been single and feel I can get along and enjoy just about anyones company.
Going into any meet..I am optimistic and hoping to find...the "one".....starts with mutual attraction then the time is spent getting to know each other.
This sounds to me like the ole ......"friend" thing...gone awry. If I want to maintain just a friend with a man...has to be said right off the bat!!
Make sure my intention is "only" that and no....I don't sleep with my friends!
After all...That is what you said you were looking for on your profile...friends...right??
Please...If you can't see being with her....don't be intimate with her..!!!
Be truthful but have some finesse....be kind.
 distinct_purpose
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 44
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:35:04 PM
The way I see it, you have two choices.. either go ahead and see if the physical attraction can grow and risk hurting her even more, or.. bite the bullet and tell her how you are feeling.


First Choice????
No, No, No, do not go there, I did, it didn't work, it will not work and more than likely she will figure out just exactly what the issue is, specially if your "repulsed" by her now, believe me it will only get worse. Then, your done, there is no possibility of any sort of relationship and boy do I miss her, the conversations and her friendship.

Second choice??
Why tell her how he's feeling, why not just try to keep the relationship on a friends level, if it doesn't work out it doesn't but if he tells her there isn't a chance in hell in remaining friends.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 45
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 12:54:39 PM
^^ Because as he has said, she would know why he is just keeping it to friendship. And if they truly are friends.. why hide the truth? There are ways of putting things that aren't brutal.
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 46
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 3:56:24 PM
I really can't make a good opinion because you won't tell what it is that "repulses" you but since she "repulses" you the best thing you can do is leave the woman alone. Your not doing her any favors by leading her on.

I'm guessing the reason you won't tell is because it is indeed something superficial.
 LifecanbeBeautiful
Joined: 11/5/2011
Msg: 47
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 4:00:28 PM
Save yourself some time, break up with her. I can empathize. I dated this one guy because he had a SUPER personality, but he was ugly. I told myself what you're telling yourself now, I am not superficial. The only reason why the relationship lasted over a year was because I wanted to prove to myself I was not superficial. I learned this: I have to enjoy looking at someone to enjoy the rest of him. Great topic BTW.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 48
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 4:10:00 PM
Repulse is a strong word. But I feel your pain, as we all do maybe not using the strong word of repulse but we've all got that friend of the opposite sex that we like everything about them but their looks.

I've got a couple of friends that I'm not attracted to, never have probably never will. I say move on and let her move on. Maybe once one or the other starts dating you two can have a good friendship. Just be careful, like most of us if we get our butt hurt, the claws are going to come out per say.

Best of luck to ya
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 49
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Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 4:14:23 PM

You are aware that boya and girls can really be friends...Contrary to old myths we don't have cooties.....


(skeptical look)..Are you sure?

(joking of course)
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 50
Love her mind, but her body repulses me
Posted: 11/30/2011 4:19:06 PM
I don't really think that there is anything you can do to let this chick know how you are feeling without hurting her feelings...in a MAJOR way. Leading her on is definitely a no no and will make you look like MORE of a jerk later on. If you don't think that she will ever tickle your pickle in the future because she is so repulsive that you just can't get over it, then let her go so she can find someone who will like/love her for EVERYTHING she has to offer.

Stop wasting her time.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Love her mind, but her body repulses me