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 CptIronJack
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 70
Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
only thing I know bout speeddating is what I saw on hitched, and I thought Really? its come to this? uggg
 massha
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 71
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Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?
Posted: 3/26/2012 7:59:57 PM
I'd love to do that but I ain't paying the ticket price. Plus, I live in a pretty rural area now (well it's somewhat of a city... but smaaaaallllll and somehow ...downscale), and I am a fat old lady who wants an educated guy - and there is probably exactly one educated relatively normal guy who'd find me desirable within 500 miles radius, and he might not really show at the event... So why waste an evening that I could be doing something fun on useless activity that I have to pay for?
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 72
Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?
Posted: 3/27/2012 9:28:28 PM
I went to a speed dating once....I'll never forget this one man who was a nice looking guy but then he opened his mouth and asked me, "What is it with you women, you're so beautiful when we meet you, but then you turn so ugly after we marry you"..... thank goodness the little bell rang for the men to move to the next table....I really couldn't believe he said that....alas I didn't get any takers but I'm over it now!
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 73
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Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?
Posted: 3/27/2012 9:51:45 PM
zippytwo,

You are quite beautiful...at least he was half right.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 77
Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?
Posted: 4/2/2012 12:55:41 AM

If you get ticked by the girls you found ugly, then potentially that makes you feel really unattractive as you know that only ugly people give you a look-see

I disagree. You think uber-hot guys don't have ugly girls wanting them too? You're unattractive if that's ALL you EVER see, sure. But realize the imbalance/upper-hand situation when it comes to girls and guys. When it comes to strangers, a girl has an extra edge in getting a guy who's a bit better looking than she, when the ratio's in the female favor. Therefore, a girl within your own "league" will be less likely to adore you.

If you get no ticks at all even from the ugly ones, that's got to be a massive self-esteem destroyer surely?

If you expressed yourself as "not interested" through body language, which weighs far more than mere words & answers, then no. If you played it up with fuglies, and they still don't tick you, then yeah -- that would hurt I guess. But remember, even ugly gals won't want a guy here and there who's objectively better looking than she. But the whole lot of them? Yeah, you're in trouble if you truly pushed the charm toward them.

Obviously UK and US are different areas entirely, but I bet you do this kind of thing as well.

Yeah, it's not a UK/US thing -- it's a people thing. An attraction/comfort-zone thing. A (human) National Geographic thing. It's how people roll.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 79
Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?
Posted: 4/2/2012 9:39:02 AM
I'm still waiting to hear of success stories involving speed dating. Does anybody know anyone who has found their knight in shining armor/Cinderella princess through speed dating and lived happily ever after? It seems like most people go to mock other desperate people looking for love and think it's a big joke.
 36_Julietta_52
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 81
Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?
Posted: 4/2/2012 1:06:01 PM
Haha, my two girlfriends and I are trying this for the first time in just a few weeks! We are going in with no expectations except to walk out with stories and laughs, as surely we will have many :) Meeting fantastic men would be a bonus indeed! Super pumped.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 82
Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?
Posted: 4/5/2012 10:42:04 AM
^Along with no expectations, go in with a list of questions that will provide you with useful answers.

Where do you live, what kind of work do you do, married/divorced/etc, do you have a dating profile (if you're interested get the link to it), do you smoke, what sort of things do you like to do, religion, that sort of thing.

Make it worth your time, it's more than "just a night out".
 36_Julietta_52
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 83
Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?
Posted: 4/10/2012 7:31:49 AM
^ Oh yes, we are not just going for the sake of going. We are genuinely interested in meeting somebody and will act accordingly. I meant to convey that if we don't end up meeting anybody interesting, we will not be disappointed because it will be a fun experience anyway. :)
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 84
Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?
Posted: 4/16/2012 12:10:45 AM
Always wanted to try this but...

While I rank 11/10 on confidence scale for communication, I rank myself a modest 7.5/10 for looks. For speed dating, you gotta have at least a 9/10 otherwise its "GAME OVER MAN"!

Also, this is kinda discriminatory so sue me you liberal crazies, but if you're less than 5'11 and don't possess an athletic build, it's also game over. Being Caucasian is almost a requirement as well. Unless its one of those "racial" speed dating events.

Flamesuit engaged.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 85
Speed dating - a confidence booster or a self-esteem destroyer?
Posted: 4/16/2012 6:56:48 AM

While I rank 11/10 on confidence scale for communication, I rank myself a modest 7.5/10 for looks. For speed dating, you gotta have at least a 9/10 otherwise its "GAME OVER MAN"!

Also, this is kinda discriminatory so sue me you liberal crazies, but if you're less than 5'11 and don't possess an athletic build, it's also game over. Being Caucasian is almost a requirement as well. Unless its one of those "racial" speed dating events.

The Caucasian part I get -- although with the right build, you will find 1-out-of-a-handful in a city environment that will be just fine with non-Caucasians. As for looks, I don't think a guy has to be a 9/10 -- I would actually say about a 7.5/10. And height -- I would say 5'9"+ or several-inches-higher-than-she-in-heels would be it, not 5'11". I think what you described would be a PRIME catch... the kind who can get-laid-in-48-hours-by-just-about-any-of-them. OR just pertaining to the hot ones. But I agree, a speed-dating thing would be more picky than bumping into a gal and striking convo at a bar, if the woman's reasonably attractive.
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