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Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 18
when the friends you lost in a divorce want back in the picturePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I can't help but think if it wasn't happening again to someone they know, they wouldn't be lookin me up.

I think you may be on to something there.........they probably feel guilty for baling on you when you needed them a few have said, if they were true friends they wouldn't have baled on you to begin with.......sounds like you'd be better off not getting involved with them again.......
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 19
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when the friends you lost in a divorce want back in the picture
Posted: 12/4/2011 3:17:42 PM
treat each one on a case by case basis. i am told many are fearful that they will be divorced. some think you might "steal" their spouse. some feel they have to choose. some are takers and not givers, so they have an ulterior motive.

i'd ask each one upfront why they dumped you. not aggressive, but with emphasis on how alone you felt. then take a while to decide.

in many different scenarios we loose friends. sometimes for many years. but, i have experienced several instances where we found each other again, have talked in depth and share a deep history. more even than family and relatives. i believe some of these people will now be with me til i die.

do it one at a time. not in a group. see if each person has the time to speak to you over dinner or whatever. i am talking real friends, not just party buddies mind you. those are a dime a dozen.

also you were given this opportunity to also make new friends. see it as a cup that was half empty. no need to empty it totally. just sip and decide over time. you will probably end up in a mix.

also many singles, once they find a mate, will dump you. that p's me off even more.
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 20
when the friends you lost in a divorce want back in the picture
Posted: 12/4/2011 3:21:10 PM

And all in all, I just feel like telling them all to stick it.

where was that support when I needed it?
Sounds as if you're not very interested in being friends with them again. So don't.
They're fickle friends.
Dumped you as a friend and now they seem to be interested in dumping her and/or her new guy.
Who wants fickle friends? Go off and make something better of yourself.
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 23
when the friends you lost in a divorce want back in the picture
Posted: 12/5/2011 12:29:04 AM

What would you do?

I'd just ignore them. It's not worth the effort to tell them off.
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