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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the e      Home login  
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 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 24
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Well..I sing this song in Karaoke.. and i always want to cry.

it might seem like a stalker song.. but.. thoughts are different than actions..

and this song, Keep you by sugarland, and Skyscraper by Demi lovato all make me cry.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 25
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A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/4/2011 4:24:26 PM
"Come on who cried when Old Yeller died?, raise your hands"--Bill Murray in STRIPES

People get choked up at all kinds of stuff, but that Adele song has been over played to the point where I turn it off. Yes I agree the lyrics are down right creepy.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 26
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/4/2011 4:26:56 PM

Keep you by sugarland

How about "Stay" by Sugarland? ugh...the song & the video are so intense!

But...of course the Adele song sounds bunny boilerish! Nobody wants to hear a song that says...well, now you're married & I'm bummed, but I'll get over it I guess. It's like video taping my daughter & me hanging around our house. Exaggeration is much more entertaining than reality. (even though my daughter & I are fascinating...haha)
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 27
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/4/2011 4:39:12 PM
They played it a lot on the radio when it first came out.

My daughter has an amazing voice, and sang it a few times when it was on.

When my son was in the car, and it came on, he would crank it up
and would sit there in silence.

I could see he was reflecting.

I asked him if it made him think about a girlfriend that he let go,
and then realized he made a mistake and wanted her back ...
his heart was broken over it.

I can see why that song affected him.
It was not that he listened to it word for word,
It was the context that she may have moved on,
But he still loved her
and wanted to find someone just like her.

So you cannot take a song literally
You pick out portions that means something to you.

I find it to be a lovely song
Her voice is amazing
The video could have had more to it
But I cannot identify with it.
And maybe that is a good thing.
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 28
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/4/2011 4:42:11 PM

I found the lyrics to “Closer to God” rather thought provoking, myself.


Well, I did say most XD

Closer is a good tune but yeah...rather basic subject matter there. Just another love song.

>_>
<_<
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 29
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/4/2011 4:45:24 PM
Not being familiar with the song referenced by the OP, I just watched the video. Didn't affect me at all, like, dislike or emotionally (although I do like her voice).

I think all of us, at some point, have called a lost love, or driven by their house, or gone temporarily goofy over them, until we slapped ourselves upside the head and moved on.

Maybe if your son had refrained from calling the females' response "stupid", he could have avoided the argument. It would have been more constructive (and instructive) fror him to ask them why they had a tearful reaction to the song - ya think?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 30
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/4/2011 5:10:52 PM
I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.
Keep in mind that this just isn't a song. This is something she wrote about that actually happened. The girl is a bunny boiler and her time will be better served getting some kind of therapy for her issues.

Who in their right mind would date this woman unless they were addicted to drama?.



Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.
This part I find funny. When I read it I imagine some poor guy hiding behind his door while this lunatic is standing outside " I am not shy or hiding Adele, what do you have there in your hand Adele? honey go back upstairs and lock yourself in the bedroom".




So women and men see things differently; is this really a surprise to anyone?
Not a surprise to me at all. If history has taught me anything it's that a vast majority of women will over look some pretty bad behaviour if romance or emotions are involved.

I will give you another example. Ask 100 women what are their top five romantic movies. 90 of those women will list "The notebook" and " bridges of Madison County" on that list. Both these movies involved cheating in a committed relationship. Yet other wise intelligent and moral women will turn a blind eye to this and ball their eyes out in the name of romance. I honestly have no explanation for the logic behind this kind of thinking.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 31
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/4/2011 5:16:47 PM
For Adele, writing stuff and singing it is probably the best therapy for that old relationship - and it's made her millions (though she lost stupid money on tour dates with throat surgery). If she still needs more therapy once this all dies down, at least she's not wondering how to pay for it.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 32
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/4/2011 5:27:29 PM
I agree with ^^^ woman.. writing music IS therapy.

and just because she has THOUGHT to boil his bunny.. doesnt mean she did.. she just wrote about her innermost thoughts.

and as for the notebook.. i HATED that movie.. but once again.. just because a woman or man cheated in a movie and we cried about their trials and tribulations.. does not make us morally inferior.

i have not contacted nor acknowledged my last ex.. but had i wrote a song about him.. it would be full of Alanis morrisette type lyrics.. lol
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 34
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 7:57:36 AM

I think the majority of stalker songs were both written and sung by males. Am I wrong?
Never really gave it much thought.

Lady Gaga....Paparazzi.


The Supremes.... Till you come back to me.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 35
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 8:19:04 AM
Good point scurvy_little_spider

Lyrics are just lyrics.
Beat and vocal emotion seem to really sell the song.
 lacalli
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 36
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 9:15:07 AM
Perspective depends entirely upon experiences. Thus different responses to the same stimuli. I don't think it's a male/female thing. I've had men tell me their favorite songs that bring them to tears that leave me cold.
People can look at the same thing and see and feel different things. Ask the police about witness statements.
 trplfire39
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 37
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 9:41:43 AM
OP: I see how you could think this song is a "stalker" thing...Personally when you put the music to the words there is a different emotion felt and only "keywords" are heard, just like reading, you train your eye to see the "important" words in a text.

I do like this song, it's not moving enough for me to cry however, and I've suffered a broken heart... on a lighter note, I don't want another like him at all- LOL

I'm sorry your son got so much abuse from the women and he may learn when he can voice his opinion about something that's obviously moving to other people. About abuse? I see your point there too, it would have been nice for the women to see that yelling at someone like that hurts. There are otherways of letting someone know they don't agree with an opinion. ;)
 4everRadiant
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 38
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 10:33:46 AM
I agree with what others have said, that, so often, it’s the music and sound that moves people’s emotions, even if they don’t know the lyrics. And then again, while they may only be able to make out some of what’s being said, the words they do hear touch them.

I listened to the song, understood the majority of the lyrics and then went to read them to ensure I heard what I heard. I personally found the song to be hauntingly beautiful, and this is why...

The song is apparently based in reality. Adele was in relationship with the love of her life yet the relationship didn’t work out for whatever reasons. While it didn’t work out she was, in essence, forever changed by him, by the love she experienced with him in that relationship. Adele describes what the song is essentially about here…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAc83CF8Ejk&ob=av2e

In that interview she explains how she longs for the same *type* of love (i.e. a deep love) in her next relationship; she hopes this will come to pass but isn’t sure it will. She further explains how she was feeling when she wrote the song and what that relationship meant to her.

Btw, he didn’t “just get back from his honeymoon...”
Adele goes on to say “I can *imagine* being forty and looking for him again and turning up to find he has a beautiful wife and some beautiful children and he’s completely happy and I’m still on my own….”

I have no sense whatsoever that this is a “bunny boiler” song. To the contrary, it seems to be about her *grief* over the loss of what she fears she might never find again... “someone like you.” She’s basically mourning.

In the song she is expresses multiple losses, and although she says “it’s not over for me” (she still loves him and is grieving. It’s not that she plans on “stalking him”) she also seems to sincerely mean “I wish nothing but the best for you, too.”

I don’t think it’s unusual to have the desire to want to be remembered by the one you loved, even if one or both of you have moved on. We all have past relationships and, IMO, we often hold a special place in our heart for different people. Just because we move on doesn’t mean we necessarily forget those people or the life and love experiences we had with them.

While people may have different interpretations of (and/or to) the song, whether they be male or female, I’d guess part of the reason the females in the car became so upset was not because your son had a different response to the song per se, but rather *how* he expressed that difference… “I can't believe such a stupid song could make anybody cry.”

In declaring the song as “stupid” the potential implication of that might be “your tears are stupid or it’s stupid that you’re crying.” If he’d said something to the effect of “I don’t understand why you’re crying… what about this song makes you cry?” he probably would have gotten a very different response. Yes, the way people interpret things and express themselves is different.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 39
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 11:13:40 AM
No where in the song lyrics does it imply stalking, it says "I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited". Doesnt say on thier wedding day, doesnt say on thier honeymoon...in fact she states "I heard that you settled down"...meaning after the wedding is over, she found out and had to say "For me it isnt over, Ill find someone like you one day"

Anyone who cant understand the longing any human being feels when thier love is unrequited...Id be a little concerned...either they havent lived to feel a broken heart, or they have no ability to empathise.

There are a few songs that can bring tears to my eyes, However, I believe there is a time and place. In a car with my brother and parents? Nah...but alone? Sure it can happen.

For me the piano can bring my emotions right to the surface...so much so, that I wont have it play in my car. Thats the last place I need to feel distracted by emotion.
 Blueyes4youbabe
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 40
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 11:35:54 AM
Someone please enlighten me. What is a bunny boiler? New lingo challenged here. Thx
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 41
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 11:37:07 AM
I think woman have the ability to be more empathetic than men do.....and when women listen to her song....the MAIN thing they get out of it is that she was HURT. And they feel for her.


I actually disagree with this. Personally, I think empathy has a lot more to do with one's experiences in life that affects this mental acuity.


Someone please enlighten me. What is a bunny boiler?


Relates to a seen from Fatal Attraction where Glenn Close leaves a present for Michael Douglas expressing her love for him XD
 CarKam1
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 42
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 1:36:37 PM
I think that her song "Rolling in the Deep" is a bit more alarming. Most people only know the chorus but If you read the remainder of the lyrics it's like "Whoa! I'd hate to be put on her sh*t list!"

I agree with some of the posters though, her voice is what grabs the attention and there is something in it that makes you feel her pain.

Favorite NIN song is "Everyday is exactly the same" ...and "Closer".

One song that has always baffled me as to why it is so popular is Bryan Adam's "I'm Going to run to you". Have you people ever listned to the lyrics of that song?? Really really?? That cheating no good son of a piehole!!

But yes, typically Men are from Venus and Woman are from Mars...or was it the other way around?
 Linda136
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 43
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 2:38:52 PM
What all of that is for me is men and women are wired differently and see and feel things differently. The connector is that the man and woman bring their own opinions to the table and are respected for them. A man doesn't have to understand why I'm crying or emotional or whatever, all I need from him is to acknowledge that something has affected me deeply and meet me where I'm at.

I hate golf. But if my man (I don't have one and would like one) got excited about playing the game and talked about what happened during his outing I would be excited for him. Knowing that he is happy makes me happy. I don't have to like the reason or understand the reason - I just have to be connected to him.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 44
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/5/2011 6:54:35 PM
^^^^ Although my experience with a boyfriend or mate is limited to one person, he was not very demonstrative, and told me his ex considered him a cold fish. Truth was, he was extremely warmhearted and had a great depth of feelings, but had been conditioned from childhood to not show it.

That's where the girlfriend/partner/spouse comes in. When you become in tune with the person, you can pick up the subtle body language, changes in the eyes, breathing, etc. that signify how they're feeling or being affected by something. We womenfolk tend to show emotion more, but that doesn't in any way mean that men feel it less, just that they often show it less or in more subtle ways.

When my mother is deeply touched and pleased by a gift, she becomes motionless, stares at the item, and her eyes shine. That's when you know she's delighted. But you have to know the person to recognize their body language for "Wow! Thanks!". It isn't the same for everyone.

Same with love ... how people experience and express love is as unique and individual as their fingerprints. As long as it is acceptable (e.g., not mean, etc.), in a good relationship each mate recognizes and appreciates the other's way of feeling and expressing love. For some it may be doing things for the other (changing the oil in the car, putting away the clean dishes so the wife won't have to -- that sort of thing). It doesn't have to be grand gestures to be expressions of love, and is just as heartfelt.
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 45
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/6/2011 11:10:48 AM
Purple Rain can make me tear up, but that's because I have a memory attached to that song. Only Adele song I like is Rolling In The Deep.
 Lookingforsalmon
Joined: 8/7/2011
Msg: 46
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/6/2011 1:32:16 PM
What I find funny, is that a lot of Mexican or Latin music is very lively and makes you want to get up and dance and party, yet many of the lyrics are sad...lol...gotta love the Hispanics!!
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 48
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/6/2011 2:46:54 PM
Someone please enlighten me. What is a bunny boiler? New lingo challenged here. Thx

Relates to a seen from Fatal Attraction where Glenn Close leaves a present for Michael Douglas expressing her love for him XD
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is one of Hollywood's most famous depictions of Psycosis. A simple fling with what appears to be a pleasant woman, results in more intense encounters with each attempt at ending it. Culminating in the family pet rabbit being found boiling on the kitchen stove. When seen the message you should have got was that she was going after the wife/daughter, and it was going to be soon (in the time it takes to boil water). She had already been in the house while they were all home. That was chilling.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 49
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/6/2011 2:56:02 PM
I just had a listen to the song - I really like her voice. I can see if a woman just broke up with someone how the song could hit a chord and make her cry because just about anything can at that point if there were deep feelings involved. A song by itself, not so much for me - but then I rarely cry and it's usually when witnessing the pain that someone else is going through, rather than things that I go through. Amazing Grace at a funeral is another story, however. I can hold it together pretty well until then and then it's not a case of the song itself or the words but more the memories of all the others who have passed where the song was played or sang at their funerals. I find music can be similar to the sense of smell sometimes - play a song from the 60's and I flash back - no, not from drugs (whoever was thinking it) but because it was a great time to be growing up for me.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 50
A different perspective on how man/woman think while looking at the exact same issue.
Posted: 12/6/2011 3:21:15 PM
I find this song to be far from a "bunny boiler" scenario !

It seems the bottom line is, that how anyone reacts emotionally to a song/movie/book whatever, often has to do with what life experiences they've had, and if they relate closely , or not. If they understand the emotional content.

I haven't cried on hearing this song - but I have had a couple melancholy attacks, as it reminds me of "one who got away" , years ago ...

Yes - we're all different ! Men, women, women and women, men and men .
As is clearly demonstrated by simply reading the various reactions here !

Keeps the world interesting.
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