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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Let them Go (this helped me tons!)      Home login  
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 wildandfreee
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 13
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Stop begging people to stay .Let them go
My way is let them free
nice thread
 mdgs
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 14
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/9/2011 7:44:48 PM

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you.
I mean, hang up the phone.


Great.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 15
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/10/2011 9:05:23 AM
i'm definately in the "If you love someone ...set them free set"

Two boyfriends ago.. My boyfriend kept telling me that he would NEVER marry me.. that i was not good enough to marry and that he seen us with other people in the future. That he would stay with me as long as it was "fun". It broke my heart that i was merely Temporary in his eyes.(I do not need marriage tho)

So.... I set him free. I made it clear that i loved him.. but he did not know how to love me. I am not someones temporary girlfriend.. why am i monogamous to that?

I had originally hoped he would learn.. and come back.. instead.. He had a 22 yr old as a back up plan.. and he went straight into a relationship with her..

Alrighty then..
 carptopus
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 16
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/10/2011 10:24:24 AM
IMO this is kind of vague.
There isn't much context.
It seems to simply be justifying doing things the "easy" way.

I mean

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you

What's the tolerance level? What constitutes begging on a practical level? Falling on my knees crying? Or just asking more than once? Stalking?
Does this include suicidally depressed family members?
What about your best friend that will go and be homeless because they believe they are taking advantage of you if they stayed on your couch?


I don't want you to try to talk another person into calling you

Again, what about family members or people you love that are having a hard time?
I know when I "begged" a woman after we broke up to call me every week (because I knew her and what she would do) she, months later, said it really helped her from simply disappearing into a self pity and destruction hole and gave her some consistency in her life that she really needed. Our "relationship" was dead, but she's still a human being.

I can understand if the sermon was like "don't beg people for your own emotional gain" or something like that, but just "don't beg people, say good bye," doesn't really help.
And just saying "you've got to know when it's dead, know when it's over" doesn't really help anyone to be able to actually tell when it's dead or over.

So this sermon is "great" if I want to interpret it and make it mean something by adding what I want to it to validate my own opinion.
Otherwise it's just specious platitudes that don't really say anything more than "it's okay to take the easy way, turn the other cheek and ignore, your problems are solved."
 Solitairesway
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 17
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Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/10/2011 3:46:06 PM
Just recently coming out of a relationship, that has somewhat devastated me. This is just what I needed to get out of my lonliness. This has spoken volumes to me, that you cannot begin to imagine. T.D. Jakes has always been a blessing to me & somewhere along the way I have lost my selfworth. I can now begin to live again. A dear friend of mine passed away in a tragic & horrific way 2 years ago & beforehand she gave me T.D. Jakes book, "Lessons My Mama Taught Me." I never read it & just retrieved it now.
Although I never had parents, (which is why I just put it on a shelf). I feel coming across this thread is a true sign of faith, for better things to come. I will make a priority to read this book & be constructive by applying myself to his word. Presently at a dark period of my life. But, now I can see the " light" of prosperity of new & enlightening beginnings for me. I am forever grateful that you posted this. You are my Guardian Angel of faith.
Thank-you!
 whiterose222
Joined: 9/19/2010
Msg: 18
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/11/2011 9:35:53 AM
I understand where you are coming from, and yes, again, a person has to know that person walking away, and if they are okay doing so.
Like you said this prose is kind of vague, but, I think it was meant for a dead end relationship where you are trying to pull that person back into something that is not working.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 19
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/11/2011 11:02:50 PM
This is perfect for me. I am going to print it off and look at it regularly. I am not religious, but the idea of respectfully allowing someone to move on is very uplifting. Thank you for posting!
 Mel1509
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 20
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Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/12/2011 11:02:14 AM
Thank you so much for this. Needed it today.
 friends_first_
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 21
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/12/2011 12:03:18 PM
Hi Quiet_Girl
I am still after all of these years so upset at how my relationship was with the man I married. It's like he didn't give a hoot about me. He was a cop and if ppl were after me and him it was always they were after him. He didn't think that they were after me because I was married to him.
I eventually left him and over the years I regretted it alot. I missed him as I was told he died. He didn't die probably just wanted me to think he died so we'd be seperated. He most likely never cared about me.
I do know that after all of these years him as an officer he has never helped me as an officer. His coworkers have never helped me as officers when I needed an officer none were provided to me.
That is the part that so upsets me. He protects other women and even when I was with him he didn't protect me.
No love from a man I loved. I sound so pathetic.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 22
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Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/12/2011 4:25:13 PM
No love from a man I loved. I sound so pathetic.


no you don't. You sound like all of us.

I found my exs blog today.

He pines for some chick he cheated on me with. Not me-
some chick who knew about me and dived in anyway. He
is such a stupid fcck that he wouldn't know something
good if it bit him.

I cooked and cleaned. Washed this mans
track marked underwear. Worked full time.

Know what he did? Called in sick from work
to chat on the Internet with his grade school sweetheart.

Worked 12 hours a week. Beat my jeep into the ground.
Played video games. Chain smoked. Lied to my
face. Took money we didn't have to go see her
in another state - while convincing me his sister
was in heart failure.

He was laughing at me then- but I get to laugh
at him now. I get to see his karma. It's makes me sad.
He brought it on himself.

Told me to get out of the relationship that he was
gay- so I wouldn't be mad at him. He's bi. He needs
to come out of the closet.

Lied and lied to women and men he was friends
with to garner sympathy.

What I say- fcck them. He can go pull on his dcck
now.

I get to find a man who worships me.

So do you.
 friends_first_
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 23
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/12/2011 4:45:24 PM
Thank You Curlygrl. and Quiet_girl for putting this post up.
I liked one of the post from one of the other ladies too. This has helped me out.
 onlydateIF
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 24
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/13/2011 10:09:41 PM
How beautiful! kind of reminds me of that saying, "protected, not rejected" Thanks for sharing that
 redheadruby
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 25
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Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 12/14/2011 7:51:29 AM
I told the man who ended things then reconciled, then ended them again, then expressed a desire to reconcile, then changed his mind again and continued to express mixed feelings....if you can live without me you should. It is not easy to let go, but I'm learning that it really is that simple.
 Paige5
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 26
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 4/13/2012 10:07:00 AM
Thank you so much for posting this.
I am truly going through a hard time and this quote really helps me to stop
chasing after someone who doesnt want you.
 prettyandcurvy
Joined: 2/20/2012
Msg: 27
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 4/15/2012 3:56:19 PM
More wise words from Bishop TD Jakes. Thank you for sharing, OP, and be blessed in your healing process.
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 28
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 4/15/2012 10:05:10 PM
It's such an inspirational poem. Thank you for sharing.
 WatchingforYou
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 29
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 4/19/2012 9:49:58 PM
Thankyou for this, it's going to come in handy.
 hart4777
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 30
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 4/20/2012 9:30:18 AM
Thanks Bishop T. D. Jakes! I love that guy!
 aliveandfresh
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 31
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 4/21/2012 5:35:51 AM
THANK YOU 4 POSTING THAT POEM, LET THEM GO. I FELL IN LOVE REALLY FAST WITH A GUY 8 WEEKS AGO. WONT GO INTO IT. 2 LONG STORY. N IT HURTS. HE DID NOT APPRECIATE ME N TOOK ME 4 GRANATE, SO I ENDED IT. BEEN 6 DAYS NOW SINCE I TEXT HIM. I KNOW HE WILL COME TO HIS SENSES N MISS ME. SO I WILL LET HIM ALONE.IF HE REALLY CARES FOR ME LIKE HE SAYS, HE WILL GET BACK TO ME. IF NOT LIFE GOES ON RIGHT? THX FOR THE POEM.PEACE ROSE
 RonnieD0462
Joined: 2/10/2011
Msg: 32
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Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 4/23/2012 5:48:52 PM
Im happy to get some good advice
 countrygirl102768
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 33
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 4/23/2012 6:23:36 PM
Thank you for posting this.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 34
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 4/24/2012 12:35:48 AM
it's common sense and that's what so many women lose when this stuff happens. If someone doesnt' want to stay, then you let them go and move on.

You then learn how to choose a person that wont leave, and who is a better person. We are all learning, and who we choose to be with is beyond important.
 cooper777123
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 35
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 4/26/2012 8:08:00 PM
watdh him on tbn daily!!!!!!!
 AxemanMixer
Joined: 7/5/2012
Msg: 36
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Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 7/14/2012 11:11:34 AM
This is very empowering. It's the kind of inspiration I need at the moment.
 juicyfruit21
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 37
Let them Go (this helped me tons!)
Posted: 7/15/2012 5:11:31 AM
And after you let them go....and go through all that pain...not ever really getting over them....and then they come back....what do you do then? Have faith that they "realized" that they made a mistake? Trust that they'll NOT hurt you again?

Choosing the right person in the first place is difficult. And making them earn your trust is crucial. My biggest hang up is trusting too soon, investing too soon with someone I really like...because I think that "chemistry" is
mutual. And because that chemistry was mutual...then "they must want what I want, right?" WRONG.

But I too, have walked away from others...and have hurt them...but I just couldn't stay. Maybe I am experiencing karma.
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