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 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 121
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Are you even reading the great advice you've been given on this thread?

If she was into you she'd be with you. The sorority and her friends manipulating her had nothing to do with it.

If she loved you nothing would have pulled her away. That's usually what happens.. friends are telling the girl to leave the guy because of overwhelming evidence of serious problems.. but she never sees it.. because she's blind with her feelings for her.

In this case? pfft.. she's just looking for excuses and you're so blind and looking for answers you're snapping them up to get some sort of artificial closure.

Truth is, she's gone, it doesn't matter why.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 123
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/12/2011 8:09:05 PM
It's time to start accepting the fact that she's not being honest with you.
 LyricSerendipity
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 126
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/17/2011 11:44:07 AM

Yes, I thought that to. But she said this a couple times...

"I'm debating whether or not I want to be single, have a boyfriend in a fraternity, or have a boyfriend outside of my college life. Because, each option will give me a different college experience and I want to have the best college experience I can have."

lol


I've read through your posts and I have to say...you never had this chick. Sure, she was enjoying spending time with you. Sure, you were fun and she had feelings for you in the moment. And sure, she isn't stone cold, without ANY feelings for you....it's just not love she's feeling.

She's all about HER. She's looking for what's in it for her. She's young and looking for experiences. Just from the last post from you, you can see that it's all about her having the best possible experience she can. She's not talking about wanting to be in love or hoping to find the man for her. If she was in love with you, she would be saying something along the lines of... 'I want YOU and I don't care what everyone else is doing.'

Hard pill to swallow when you were giving her everything you had. She used you for what she needed out of the relationship and tossed you when she was done and wanted something different. Been there. It's a shocker, I know. Be happy it was after 9 months and not 9 years, plus babies and a mortgage. You got off easy.

Talking about it...here, with friends...will help you get it all out. That's what you need to do. Keep talking about it and you will eventually realize what you're saying and how 'not cool' this chick was to you. You're looking at her with rose colored glasses because you're still wanting the fantasy.

You're mourning a woman who just isn't there. You're missing the woman you thought she was. If she was that woman...you wouldn't be feeling what you're feeling and she wouldn't be treating you the way she's treating you.

Sorry...you just have to work through the heartbreak and learn from it.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 127
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:18:08 PM
You are a very handsome man, plus you are a fireman great security job. I don't know what game your GF is playing with you


The kind of game that inspires rappers to write songs that state: "you played yourself". However; that's only applicable if she fails. It sounds like both of em are gonna turn out pretty successful.

Yea there's just no way I had a chance with her since she was in that sorority. Living there on campus in the sorority house. Going to all the sorority events and the frat parties and mixers and frat events without me.


Ya got that right.

Perhaps you can network through her; but that's about it for now guy.


"I'm debating whether or not I want to be single, have a boyfriend in a fraternity, or have a boyfriend outside of my college life. Because, each option will give me a different college experience and I want to have the best college experience I can have."


Good for her; that sounds like honesty.

 starting --AGAIN
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 129
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/20/2011 8:32:42 PM
Did you not here what she told you all the wrong reason ,you being a firemen.making good look kids and a house, security..wake up whats not to get she wanted something more and she don't want you ..So if that MAKES YOU CRAZY Go for it cause she don't love you ..Move on and get help .....
Find someone who wants you for you not what you can give her ...
Good luck cause you'll need it to get over her
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 131
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/20/2011 9:24:26 PM
i think i told you this before, but i will say it again. this girl is nuts. you are wasting your time with her. sure, maybe she is really pretty, but this is not a woman with whom you could ever have a stable, loving relationship. any person that is so conflicted and says things like, " i am in love with the idea of love...blah...blah..blah...," is a moron. love is not complicated. it's really, really simple. either you feel it or you do not. this woman is not in love with you and never will be. she thinks you are option 4, or back up plan b.
 Such_Small_Hands
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 132
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/21/2011 1:20:50 AM
She was never interested in you. It was just a one-sided relationship. It's her loss. You will heal and move on. Focus on YOU for a while. You are the most important person in your life.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 133
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/25/2011 8:44:46 PM
Ppl change their minds, all I can tell you is to move on, she wasn't the right one for you. Keep fishing the right one is out there, you just haven't met her yet.
 Pretty RI Lady
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 134
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/26/2011 4:57:58 AM

Another confusion is, she called me and said she missed me after breaking up. We started hanging out again and even sleeping together. Then, she just kinda stopped calling again.

Ugh...


Sounds like something a guy would do. When guys do this to a woman we tell her to move on! Let go! He really doesn't want you! You need to do the same too.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 142
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 1/10/2012 1:32:23 PM
Why did it take you so long to say I love you to her??
Just because someone is beautiful doesnt mean they can be with anyone they want?
 BigBadWolf920
Joined: 12/18/2011
Msg: 144
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 1/10/2012 3:55:40 PM
Look up Borderline Personality Disorder. She might have it. If you think she does, stay the f*ck away from her, she'll never be happy with anyone.
 SireKane
Joined: 12/26/2010
Msg: 145
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 1/12/2012 2:48:47 PM
9 months, 9 months, really only 9 months...Does the reason really matter? She does not want to be in a relationship with you, man up and move on.
 creativeapple123
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 146
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 1/12/2012 4:10:28 PM
How would u like it if u were with someone for 6 years, then after going for his oath ceremony, for citizenship, he takes u straight to the courthouse for a divorce!!! We were the happiest couple out there. Always together, did everything together, never foght, everything so perfect....anything u would want in another person! He used to tell me stories every night of how the men used to come in to the coffee shop and bad mouthed their wives/girlfriends, and talked about how many women they were with for the week! He used to tell me he couldn't wait to come home at night, to see me, and watch tv together, and eat, and hold my hand. He told me he could never live his life without me..cause I was the best thing that ever happened to him! Jan of 2011, he came back from his vacation in egypt, for 4 months, and told me he had to marry and have kids with an egyptian woman, cause he's fighting with his family so bad over this. I am now divorced, and he is still living here.....he is leaving in April of 2012.....and this is it! Period Amen! Im devastated, cant stop crying my eyes out, and cant get on with my life because of it! Sooo, I understand, there r no reasons for things like this sometimes, and other times, it's the type of person ur with, that can actually turn around and say......oh well, this is it...bye!!! It's horrible, but unfortunately it happens. Im sorry.....Good luck to u.....I was always told....there is bigger and better thing out there for ya! Hopefully, you'll find yours soon
 wildsagemontana
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 148
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 1/16/2012 10:28:23 PM
go to my post on a broken heart and read what i poated simarly story you are human? we as human beeings, we hurt can't just trun pain on and off like a light switch. so feel the pain thats the gift the gift of ture life, is to feel everthing so feel it leaned the lession in it and pass it on to another human being sometime when they need to learn the lesson in life. sorry for your lost i know what it feels like very painful .
 wildsagemontana
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 149
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 1/16/2012 10:31:48 PM
i meet what i thought was the luv of my life, spend 7 months getiing to know him on skype and phone text ect. then i bought a ticket to england and meet him f2f and spend three months getting to know him . i felt in my heart he was a soul mate a past life husband , i sew the whole counrty of wales, cornwall england and lanshire blackpool liver pool and appleby, traveling' camping eating out and cooking with him spend days on the beach walking in the sun , even laundry became so impotant. we talked about castels and dragons , fairys and little people he made me laught like no one, he always said the right thing to me never seem to ever say anything to hurt me, i got back on a plane to come back to the us and he even fell more in love with me, then three months later he broke my heart because i lived 10.000 miles on the other side of the earth from him i loved him enught to aloud him the righ to finsh school and then he was to come here to fine me. i still love him and now he acts like i am nobody. my heart is so broken. i couldnt understand why he let go of me, i never felt so close to anyone like i felt with him. it was like a failytail, i can't just turn off my feelings like a light switch. namaste
 Luvs
Joined: 8/17/2006
Msg: 150
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 1/16/2012 10:55:04 PM
you're 25?



"One night shes crying because I hadn't told her I loved her yet. I told her then. Things seemed to be even better at this point."

Seriously?
She cried, you tell her what she wants to hear?
did ya say that coz you are in love with her??
she doesnt feel a romantic love ?? seriously??? lol
I assume you were sleeping with her -- it was romantic enough then eh???

Comon man- let me say this to you and most ppl know this -- when we meet someone new and start dating, its always fun, exciting and romantic -- its coz it is new! You can take years and years to get to know someone and I mean really get to know them --

good solid relationships take time and rushing into "saying" things becoz one "needs" to hear it -- well thats a red flag right there --

pull up your suspenders and move on and be glad becoz it's apparent, shes not the one for you, despite what you thought--- everything happens as it's suppose to
 Romeosstorm
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 151
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 1/16/2012 11:00:46 PM
Well it seems like your ex was very young and a bit immature. That initial "im in love" honeymoon phase, when you cant do or say anything wrong, usally last about 6 months. My guess is that you guys spent a lot of time together and like any relationship, she probably felt suffocated that it was going as fast as it was for you two and bailed out. If the love you have for her is as strong as you fell it is....wait it out. But If anything will work at all it is to let go. Not let go and sit home and suffer, but let go and go have a blast every day. This may sound impossible. But if your love is strong enough, if your goal of winning them back is compelling enough; you can do anything you have to do. Trust me, i seriously can write a book (and honestly will one day) on relationships. Ive seen this type of movie 1000 times and im only 26 and i can tell you how its going to end if you dont take my advice. Im obligated as a man and a human being to help people in love. Good luck and stay strong.
 kirb32
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 152
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 1/17/2012 8:31:48 AM
anyone say bipolar? one minite she wants this then next she wants that
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 153
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 2/9/2012 10:38:06 PM
Op,

Here's how I view the end to your relationship. At some point, you were doing things that were killing her attraction to you. You may not realize this, but her level of attraction for you is controlled by YOU, not her. She cannot "decide" to just not want to see you anymore. Nor can she just "decide" she wants to be with you. It was brought about by YOU. This is a very empowering concept once you understand it, but you also must be able to accept the fact that failure is your fault. It was your fault she's not feeling it for you anymore. So don't hate on her for the things she might do or say. She's trying to be polite in telling you she don't feel it no more. She doesn't know why either. Because she has no control over it. Figure out what mistakes you made, accept them, and file them away for future reference so you don't make the same mistakes again.

Hope this makes sense. WHEN your next relationship comes around, remember that YOU are in complete control of her attraction/romantic feelings for you. YOU and only YOU have the power and ability to send those feelings through the roof, or, to extinguish that fire.

Good luck.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 154
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 2/9/2012 11:05:21 PM
She gave it her best shot, realized that trying wasn't the same as feeling and did the mature thing and broke up with you. She even admitted her part in the breakup. Sounds to me like she knows what she is doing. Be thankful for your time together, be happy she did not lead you on any longer than it took for her to come to this realization and leave her be.
She wasn't trying to make a fool of you, and she probably did have times of complete sincerity, hence your reluctance to believe her now, but that doesn't change your situation. You're going to have to move on. Sorry, but that's just life. The withdrawals will end after what seems too long.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 155
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 2/9/2012 11:12:36 PM
and furthermore... what RedDelPapa said. lol.
 blueeyez1566
Joined: 10/27/2009
Msg: 156
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 2/10/2012 4:03:16 PM
I can up ya there buddy , I dated my now ex for 3 months and the guy sang my praises and told I was perfect daily , how happy I made him, he wanted to get a house together this summer and get married within a year. Spent a great weekend together few weeks ago and by Monday he was done saying he can't deal w/ responsibility and drama in my life? I'm 31 , have held a GREAT job for 6 yrs, have my own home and car, and my kids are 10 n 12yrs old, and are great kids- EVERYONE says so. There's no dad around and no drama, not to mention hes 40 - so when do you take on responsibility ? when you're dead? please.

Have to chalk it up to the fact that people are just out there for themselves, and move on. While it sucks , you're an honest , sincere person so naturally you're left going wtf? Don't beat yourself up over it, that won't fix anything and you can bet she's not doing that. Bottom line, you don't want to be w/someone who doesn't feel what you feel. She said it best when she said she was in love w/ the idea of being in love. After 9 mo ? That's too long to not be in love w/someone. Move on, you'll be glad you did. Not everyone is like her- you'll do fine :)

Best of luck.
 RedDelPaPa
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 161
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 2/10/2012 7:54:09 PM
What makes him more attractive is he's got better inner and outer game than you right now. But, you're gonna learn the ropes and be much better informed and prepared WHEN the next lady comes your way.

A much prettier woman both inside and out is coming your way that is gonna find you way more attractive than her ex. It's just a short matter of time.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 162
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 2/10/2012 8:52:56 PM
She had you on a pedestal, OP. The "you will save me, syndrome." She realized it, early on. That's a good thing. Personally, OP, seriously, did you blow up the "fireman" "hero" thing, but was too busy to fulfill it to her? Or Maybe she is worried about raising any babies "alone". Just a thought or two to ponder.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 164
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 2/10/2012 10:06:46 PM
I will admit that towards the end I started to not be as available. I was very busy with my new side business that I started. I still made time for her but just not as much and she resented the fact that I started up that business.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wow, OP, you werent there then. Why should she be?
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