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 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 76
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
please read post #74

get the facts straight folks

i do not promote any books, just told her it would help her in recognizing "behaviors" exhibited during dating
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 77
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History
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/6/2011 4:19:06 PM
Blondedevil, you need to calm down -unless you're being yourself.
I didn't throw any comment about any of your suggestions; it was a joke (they did have jokes in the old world, too).


PS-someone should look up the definition of "courtship"...even in the Bible it says: "A man who finds a wife finds a good thing"

courtship = the act, period, or art of seeking the love of someone with intent to marry.
I never saw that quote in the Bible, though
 Jersey125
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 78
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/6/2011 4:21:45 PM
So the guy is a player...so what crime did he commit?

He told her he was seeing other women. Apparently the "maturity" text isnt deterrring her from remaining interested. So how is this guy the bad guy?
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 79
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/6/2011 4:37:53 PM
And theres absolutely tons of women who do the exact same thing too, so you cant even claim its a "man" thing either


No doubt...I agree. But I'm telling you right now if someone I just started dating texted me with that second barrage of nonsense saying I passed their maturity test my response, if any, would be:

Really? That is so awesome! Too bad you just failed mine
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 80
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/6/2011 4:42:42 PM
^^^you beat me to it! hahaha
I was about to post the passage, but I got that stupid posted 2 out of 10 on the thread.
 dude7243
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 81
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/6/2011 5:46:36 PM
No I think he is being up front with you I talked to a lady for months went out with her for dinner had a great time. She left in a few days on vaction she was sending me pictures every day I was falling for her. Then out of the blue she said that it would not work. I know she meet some one on vaction why did she just tell me. He is telling you up front that he is still looking. Good luck
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 82
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/6/2011 6:16:50 PM
Probably not a jerk, just clueless.

Agreed. OP...he was stating the obvious, since you were obviously not looking to be exclusive after one date. It was unnecessary & I probably would've said "me too" but if you like him you should go out again.

I'll add...I don't see it as a competition. If I go out with a guy & he decides he likes someone more than he likes me, I figure he's just not the one & move on...or he's dumb and/or blind (kidding!). You don't have to find Mr Right for Everyone...just Mr Right for YOU.

Edit to add...the "maturity test" is a deal breaker. I gave him the benefit of the doubt when I read your first post, but that turned him into a-hole material.
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 83
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/6/2011 7:07:24 PM
I admire his honesty !
 Xc0de
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 84
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/6/2011 7:24:54 PM

the whole " maturity test " game would piss me off and that would have been done for me. People shouldn't have to run tests on other people to date them, you get to know them to see if you're compatible.


Love is a test and go through many trials. Why are you even dating if you hate being tested?
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 85
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/7/2011 7:06:30 AM
I agree with post number 80 and would add that I think the "maturity" line might have been a poor attempt at a compliment, not an actual test.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 86
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/7/2011 8:35:29 AM
yes, but the 125 texts since you left each others company, the love poems, the flowers on your desk, the chocolates in your mailbox, and arriving home to him on your doorstep in under 24 hours claiming that you are the ONE !.....
would probably get its own thread too.
 RotationAxle
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 87
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/7/2011 11:27:58 AM

I would have told him that I was happy to hear that I passed his maturity test, but unfortunately, he just failed mine.

[/qoute]

That's exactly how I would have put it!

Yeah, the first text was tactless, but that second one? Red flag signifying a jerk.
 RotationAxle
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 88
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/7/2011 11:28:51 AM
^^haha whoops, messed up that post.....
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 89
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/7/2011 5:42:54 PM
spacecakes112- I can't stand it when guys ask me right away if I'm dating anyone else.
When you first go out with someone, I think it's a given that you are both looking.
I never ask that question.
I think he was just trying to be honest with you. It was a little tactless of him to say such a thing, especially by text.
I say, if he asks, go out with him again and proceed with caution. Good luck.
 blueeyedgypsy
Joined: 11/25/2011
Msg: 90
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/7/2011 9:26:33 PM
no he isnt. im sure that did hurt your feelings but he had to let you know whats up. he is on this website meeting all sorts of different girls and he wants to keep his options open. girls do the same thing, they are just more descrete about it
 spacecakes112
Joined: 3/22/2010
Msg: 91
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/8/2011 7:13:38 PM
Wow! Everyone that posted has some awesome points!!

Here is the update.

He did call and ask me for dinner again but an hour before I was to meet him he cancelled texting..

"Hey, my son's mom had some family obligations so I have him tonight. Can't make it sorry."


I didn't respond and he hasn't texted and this was on Tuesday.

I didn't respond because I was aggravated at the timing of his cancelation. He could really be telling the truth but I think that this reaction of not answering stems from the fact that men with kids tend to be more difficult to date and I think I am tired of dealing with that. They always cancel last minute and blame their kids. Its fine and I might be shallow for feeling this way.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 92
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/8/2011 7:48:17 PM
I wouldn't have agreed to go out with him again in the first place. He's already treated you disrespectfully once, and then you came back for seconds.

By canceling at the last minute and not giving you the opportunity to make other plans, he's basically telling you he thinks his time is more valuable than yours. Did he offer to reschedule? I'll bet he didn't.

I wouldn't give him a third chance if I were you---unless you enjoy being treated like crap.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 93
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/8/2011 8:12:59 PM
He did call and ask me for dinner again but an hour before I was to meet him he cancelled texting.


Does anybody under the age of 30 know what a telephone is and how to use it? It's a pretty simple device. Texting instead of talking to you on the phone is mistake one. If he was suddenly stuck with a kid, why wouldn't he suggest some activity with you and the kid? If being with kids is not your thing, at least you should've had the option to be with him and the kid or decline and reschedule. I have a feeling the "suddenly have to look after the kid" issue will come up a number of times-sometimes legit reasons, sometimes not. Maybe it was conveniently arranged by a jealous ex who doesn't to see hm dating anyone. How many chances are you going to give him?
 spacecakes112
Joined: 3/22/2010
Msg: 94
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/8/2011 8:32:41 PM
No more chances. He never tried to reschedule anyways and I am tired of this texting stuff. I think I should get an old phone without that option but people just dont talk anymore. Its like super foreign with people because they are afraid of the confrontation.

This guy was a jerk in my opinion and I am glad everyone on here was so thoughtful to respond even if it wasn't sooo nice because sometimes the truth hurts. I just do not get very many emails from men on here (one a week on average) so when he emailed me I was excited and hopeful.

Tooo hopeful maybe by giving this man the benefit of the doubt and he was over 30 years old. I thought maybe he would be more mature. Had a decent job, own place yadda yadda and he wasnt too far away from where I lived so I was hopeful.

I also didn't mean to make this thread seem gender bias. Girls can be jerks too. We statistically (women) cheat, play games, etc just as much as men do. I know there are good men out there. Just hoping one comes my way someday. Sometimes you have to date a couple of jerks to appreciate the nice ones even more when they come into your radar.

As for the book that was talked about, I wrote and published a lot of research on sex, dating and the like. I taught some courses at a university on the subject especially the problem with emerging adults having a problem with emerging. This whole scenario was interesting to me. I may check that book out but I find a lot of those kind of books are not based on real true reasearch and are very very biased towards a specific popular cause of belief. Truth is there is no universal, and you can't predict anything when it comes to socialization because there are way too many variables at play. We are all too different to make universal statements.

Thanks again everyone!
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 95
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/8/2011 10:29:32 PM
I just do not get very many emails from men on here (one a week on average) so when he emailed me I was excited and hopeful.


What? Really? I find that hard to believe. Is there some virus going on wiping out mankind in your area or something? Your profile seems pretty cool...well besides the dramatic prose you have going on towards the end there. Bit over melodramatic really. Still one message a week?

You sure you don't have your profile accidentally on hidden or something? Related to Charles Manson? Recently appear on America's Most Wanted?

I don't get it.

Seriously make sure your profile isn't hidden. With your profile, pics, and at your age that simply doesn't seem right.

Sorry it didn't work out. Guess you failed his other tests :(

>_>



 jar1184
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 96
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 12:02:00 AM
I don't know if I would call him a jerk, but I can definitely understand your friends' point of view. Dating multiple people will usually create feelings of jealousy and competition among the potential dating candidates. I do have experience in this area, and I can say that it never ended pleasantly. People should date one person at a time. Otherwise you are not really giving anyone your full attention, and that's not fair to anyone, including yourself. It's better to just avoid this entirely.
 mapleridgelady
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 97
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 12:43:36 AM
Straight up! he aint no jerk. hes an honest guy and he wants u to know he had a good time with u but he doesnt see u in that 'gf' way hence his reply of not wanting to lead u on. he knew u had liked him from the minute u probably saw him, but he unfortunately didnt feel the same.

if u desire to go out with him again, then for sure do so but dont have any expectations. if he doesnt like u, then he doesnt like u, if he likes u, then luck u! with that said, if ur looking for a serious relationship as in marriage etc., then ur better off not seeing him again simply because hes seeing other ppl and a relationship can only work when two ppl desire the same thing.

when u dont seek, u will find! peace!
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 98
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 3:43:21 AM
He has got a child and his priorities are right where they should be. It really does not matter at this point but I suspect it was a commitment test.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 99
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 3:54:53 AM
Frankly, I suspect he is a juggler of women & used the son as an excuse...that book I suggested is NOT ABOUT GAME PLAYING, do not confuse it w/ THE RULES, which is neanderthalish & sexist & disrespectful. If a woman has to play games to get a man, what will she have to do to keep him???

I read your profile when you 1st started the thread, it indicates you are looking for a serious relationship, whereas the man in question is playing around w/ several women.

Since you are educated & intelligent I wonder what is your opinion of women who get hostile/nasty to other women (unprovoked) in the forums???
PS- I tried to email you privately, but your settings do not allow for it, I wanted to ask you some questions/advice...can u email me if you see this???
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 100
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History
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 5:25:31 AM
The guy is not a jerk , he was just being brutally honest, perhaps he sensed that you are expecting on your first date that ,he should be totally attach to you and you expect him to "drop" everything in his life for you, when he was not even yet warm up to you.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!