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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!      Home login  
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 spacecakes112
Joined: 3/22/2010
Msg: 101
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!Page 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
No I am not hidden I checked that. I think it is because I live in a kind of rural area. I am about 45 miles west of Chicago. The reason why I joined POF was because I live in a rural area so that I can meet men a little out of my radar but men keep telling me that an hour is to far to drive. I am willing to drive always but I guess they feel that the distance is too inconveniant.

So far this week I have only received one email from a man. This entire week! I do have mail settings though like I am not looking for intimate encounter etc.
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 102
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 8:11:58 AM
Yeah, I can't see why you don't have 50 emails a week unless it's because you're so awesome the guys aren't even bothering cause they think you are out of their league. I mean, usually an occasional smoker would be a no no for me, but you're profile is so good I would even overlook that.
 Nice7Girl1977
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 103
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 8:21:33 AM
My opinion might be unpopular on here but I agree with your friends that he is a jerk indeed. He plays "maturity" games, uses his baby mama drama as an excuse to cancel his date with you, etc. I pity girl who ends up dating him, she will set herself up for drama, games, and more games. So yes, his behavior makes him a jerk. Just because someone is honest with you, it doesn't make him or her any less of a jerk. You can be honest and a jerk at the same time, one does not has to do anything with the other.

I find it hard to believe that guys are not lining up to date you. From a female point of view, you are cute as a button and fairly intelligent on top of that. Unless all guys in your area are blind, I don't see what the problem is.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 104
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 8:35:56 AM
^^^^ So you're saying guys should date women simply because they're attractive?

I read her profile and wouldn't be interested even if she were an 8-10!

To me her profile says she'd be very judgmental and idealistic. It also seems like you are going to have to fit into HER life and that there's no room for your life.

Now, maybe that's not how it is, but from my experience...that's how it comes across.
The smoking is a deal killer all by itself! Even the most hygeinic and concientious smoker still smells and tasts like smoke to a non-smoker....plus after time your belongings pick up that odor too!

JMHO
 spacecakes112
Joined: 3/22/2010
Msg: 105
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 8:51:59 AM
JCo

You nailed it! Idealistic and kind of judgemental. I admit that. I posted a Am I too Picky Post in the forums before if you want to read it. I have a very busy life only because I am single. I do a ton of volunteering because I have no one to take care of but myself so I donate my time. I won't date certain types of unsavory people. Felons, alcoholics, men in their 20's etc..

If I started dating I wouldn't volunteer as much I am sure.

Smoking also is a deal breaker for a lot of people as well. I don't blame them at all for that.

We all have our preferances. I am not worried about the lack of emails I receive but when I do get one I tend to maybe get a little too hopeful and excited.
 UncleC757
Joined: 8/26/2011
Msg: 106
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 9:04:34 AM
I think it was very resectful fpr him to be cordual and not disclose his intention to add you to his list of many.
 Here_In_Florida
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 107
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 9:27:19 AM

If I started dating I wouldn't volunteer as much I am sure.


I'm unsure how this would be a problem. I know plenty of people who volunteer that have serious relationships going on.
 ChrisD1957
Joined: 12/20/2010
Msg: 108
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 9:28:04 AM
First date wouldnt have made me think he was a jerk, however I would have wondered why he needed to share that information. It sounds like he was trying to set guide lines right from the start, nothing serious. If that was on the same page as you, no problems. The second situation is a killer. You do not text 1 hour before a date to cancel. Time to launch and do not think about it or him again.
 AnEvilgenius
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 109
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 9:32:16 AM

could be her protection mechanism with out being aware that she her self could be what's attracting the "jerks" to begin with.


Is that the same as pic's looking like a mistress with a profile hoping to be a wife ?
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 110
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/9/2011 1:22:01 PM
Spacecakes, sounds like I was right. He will probably try to keep you on his line so he can play you again whenever is convenient for him. You sound like a good kid (lol). You deserve to be treated better. I can relate to your situation, as I was in one very similar recently. I'm surprised to hear you get so few messages. If I were in your area, I would have messaged you
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 111
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/10/2011 1:51:56 PM

Is that the same as pic's looking like a mistress with a profile hoping to be a wife ?


Seriously? Should she dress in a frumpy apron with curlers in her hair holding a spatula?

There is nothing wrong with her pictures.
 spacecakes112
Joined: 3/22/2010
Msg: 112
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/25/2011 10:58:57 AM
I guess so! You can't satisfy everyone. How do I look like a mistress? Confused
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 113
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/25/2011 11:29:02 AM
how does she look like a mistress?
i think her pics are fine.
 caribe19
Joined: 9/18/2009
Msg: 114
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/25/2011 11:33:55 AM
He's partially a jerk, lol. The partial part is that if he was seriously seeking a relationship he would want to lead you on - because that is the goal right? The non jerk part is tht he is being honest. Move on - honesty hurts but its best you know right away than get excited and wait impatiently for his texts. If he were totally awed - another girl would've gotten that text, and you would've received the when can I see you again one. NEXT!!
 pastyandtasty
Joined: 6/16/2011
Msg: 115
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/25/2011 12:12:37 PM
Not a jerk at all.. He was a gentlemen, treated you like a woman, didn't expect anything and was honest.

What more do you want.

You are retarded if you follow your friends...
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 116
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/26/2011 5:42:05 AM

He just told her what most people do behind the other's backs.

Just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be said. As you said, you don't normally jump from a meet into exclusivity. Did the OP need to have this pointed out to her?

He sounds socially awkward. If honesty includes every damn thought that crosses his mind you'd best proceed with caution. More likely he was laying the ground rules so you don't expect too much or get your hopes up.
 ForumsGee
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 117
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/26/2011 7:56:39 AM
Not a jerk at all!.. I think that he saw that you were keen on him..you two had a good date, but he is being honest and telling you..Im dating others too.

You probably like him, so a bit dissapointed but hey, you never know he may become exclusive with you..so I would go on more dates with him ..he behaved like a perfect gentleman.

** I just read the rest of the posts..hhmm dont think that this guy is one to burn a candle for..although he is being' honest'..he is going overboard with it..I think he's getting his kicks from letting people know he is 'popular'

Its up to you.. go on dates with him,but know that it will probably not amount to anything.
 Zircon_Icon
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 118
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/26/2011 8:46:05 AM
I'm brand new here! It took a while to figure out how to get to this page and post a reply lol

Either way, I certainly wouldn't say the man is a jerk. He's simply in the process of exploring his options. It is a fair game to date multiple people as long as he isn't getting serious/physical with any one of them. You should do the very same, perhaps, until you come across someone who sweeps you off your feet!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 119
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:42:06 AM
He was a gentleman. No red flags. Was home by midnight and no kiss or anything but I had a good time. "...FYI I am talking to other women as well and don't want to lead you on." .... My girlfriends think this guy is a jerk and to not see him again because I shouldn't have to compete with all his others.

Wait -- was your inbox empty? Okay... you were talking to other guys, too. It's just an example of why one shouldn't be forthright with a gal if he lacks interest, or if he does have interest, don't be clueless. No announcements need to be made along those lines. He wasn't a jerk here. At all. He didn't try to get in your pants, or even your lips, for a hit-n-run. You just don't like competition. If you (somehow) found out he did, you'd think he was a jerk for not saying it. Damned if you do, damned if you don't... but the key here is -- you most likely wouldn't have known anyway, and most people assume there's other people one's talking to before & after a 1st date anyway... it's more of a Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell for most, because it hurts hearing it because you assume there must be a LOT of competition if they said anything (or they're not really interested; which isn't mean, it just hurts).

He did call and ask me for dinner again but an hour before I was to meet him he cancelled texting.. "Hey, my son's mom had some family obligations so I have him tonight. Can't make it sorry."

He could be telling the truth -- but if he had interest, he would have wanted to reschedule in the same text. In the end, that's how it is. He was insensitive and worthy of being called a jerk for cancelling last minute, and not giving a full apologetic explanation if it really was 100% true, and being cowardly if it wasn't.

Of course, if he did it 12 hours earlier and said "I'm sorry, my son's mom has issues, and I could keep my son with his mom, but you know what? My heart's not in it with you, so I'm going to take him. Sorry for the cancellation," would that make ya feel better? No. In the end, the core "jerk" part is him not being into you, even though he let you know prior not to get your hopes up about him. Nobody likes to "lose." The last-minute part (w/o adequate apology/explanation) is just icing on the cake, even though that's the Real jerk part.
 Zircon_Icon
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 120
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:52:38 AM
Confident, well put!
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 121
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History
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/26/2011 11:20:38 AM
He's not a jerk for not wanting to be exclusive after one date. A text message to compliment you seems sort of lame, but not a major gaffe. What's strange is bringing the other stuff up in the message. Not the time to get into all that, or the way to do it even if it were the right time.
 cutenperky2
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 122
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/26/2011 11:39:10 AM
I comend his honest very admirable. Relationships built on that. He is laying his cards on the table. If you dont want to wait around while he is shopping for one woman he wants to choose which might not be you in the end say to him this. I am looking for something exclusive and I am not that comfortable with someone who is going to date otherss therefore i think we should be freinds only. I dont think there was any non tacky way for him to tell you that he is dating others. He has the right to date as many woman as he wants. I personally wouldnt date a guy who was doing this. I would want one guy to give me his attention. I guess the choice is yours weather or not to except this. I feel you are with me on this and not comforatble with this,, Good luck !!
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 123
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/26/2011 12:11:28 PM
I think he was out of line & a jerk for sending that text. Don't respond to it. Does he think he's so great, that he doesn't want to break your little heart, or he just wants to let you know about the competition. That text is a red flag, maybe he was trying to be honest w/you, but I would't appreciate that at all. I would keep your options open & definetly continue to date others. I wouldn't intiate any calls or texts. If you want to respond if he asks you out that's fine, but do not give this guy the impression you are chasing him. I don't think I could go out w/the guy again after receiving a txt like that. He created a good impression on the date, then ruined it by that rude text. It's not the point that he's seeing others, that's to be expected on a dating site. It's that he doesn't have a social filter & he shouldn't have stated he is seeing others & doesn't want to lead you on, he sounds very arrogant.
 Zircon_Icon
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 124
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/26/2011 1:16:29 PM
I don't comprehend as to why this guy is being classified as a jerk. He's simply being honest & blunt about the situation. Would you rather a guy be honest or you prefer he strolls you along for a ride (then he'd be a real jerk). The latter would express a state of denial, which isn't quiet healthy for any given male or female. Take it with a grain of salt and move on.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 125
Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!
Posted: 12/26/2011 1:23:30 PM
I can't believe how off some of you people are. If someone on here or any other dating site for that matter is serious about finding someone special, then they shoul be willing to give someone a fair shot. In other words, if they found someone they were attracted to on here and only met them once and decided after that they weren't the one even if things went rather well, then that seems contradictive of their intent. They should be willing to meet another time or two atleast. And if there not, then they must not be to decided themselves as to what they want.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Lets play is he a jerk or not a jerk!!!!