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 ShadowschildA
Joined: 10/17/2011
Msg: 45
How to Rebuild Trust In MenPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
The average woman by the time they hit their 30's has been lied to, cheated on, possibly raped at a young age, emotionally sucker punched, told she's too fat, too careless, too childish, to perverted, not good enough bla bla bla.

As you experience the pain of suffering, it drills a hole ever deeper. That hole can be filled with love or hate or whatever mixture you can think of. Just remember, that certain things are out of your control & try to keep a positive attitude.
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 46
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/8/2011 12:26:34 PM

The average woman by the time they hit their 30's has been lied to, cheated on, possibly raped at a young age, emotionally sucker punched, told she's too fat, too careless, too childish, to perverted, not good enough


Yes, I agree. They also have to deal with emo vampires that glitter in sunlight too. Highly stressful...no doubt.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 47
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/8/2011 1:20:51 PM


The average woman by the time they hit their 30's has been lied to, cheated on, possibly raped at a young age, emotionally sucker punched, told she's too fat, too careless, too childish, to perverted, not good enough



.....and THEN they started dating guys

Everybody has had one of them at some point in their lives, but it doesnt apply just to women either, some men too.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 48
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/8/2011 2:00:50 PM
How to Rebuild Trust In Men


You date someone like me.



I'll have ya feeling like you own the world, and ready to treat me or more likely, your next fulltime boyfriend, like a doormat in no time.


 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 49
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/8/2011 3:14:41 PM
Trust me you cant trust men.. Yes i know im a man... you should do what other men do start dating Women. You know that a woman you can always trust.
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 50
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/9/2011 3:07:28 AM
Most radical and most beneficial approach would be to date someone you wouldn't normally date. If you see a pattern perhaps there is a cause. Trust issues are hard to deal with. Keep in mind there are your issues and it is up to you to resolve them.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 51
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How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/9/2011 4:57:07 AM

Trust me you cant trust men.. Yes i know im a manyou should do what other men do start dating Women. You know that a woman you can always trust


I am glad that you know you are a man did you happened to look down below your belt lately?????? Kidding aside,why would I date a woman I got what she's got ?

I am rebuilding my trust in men "brick by brick" for the reason I am created "for a man"............
 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 52
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/9/2011 3:34:56 PM
"Kidding aside,why would I date a woman I got what she's got ?"

Use your imagination.Yes,this is what some women will do....switch teams.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 53
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How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/9/2011 4:28:48 PM
you, and several hundred millions of other people in the world got it all backwards. the whole problem is where your focus and intent are.
you set out thinking "i`m going to go and find someone i`m attracted to and hopefully, have a relationship with them"
and in doing so you`ll find someone who`ll help you have a negative experience every time.
it is only those who choose to be in a relationship FIRST that are most successful, because they chose the lifestyle of being a **partner** in a 50/50 agreement that includes working, building, and maintaining a relationship.
And that reason for choosing to be a partner is because they genuinely desire the lifestyle accompanied by it.
there can be no subtractions, substitutions, or deletions. it must be all there and in that order or it wont work. and, it must be there for both parties involved.


* many people objectify relationships. they see 'true love' as an escape from the angst and grit of their daily life, so they're in a rush to get to this warm, safe cocoon. consequently, they place expectations on people who they don't know well enough to merit such a role. women seem to have a particular tendency for this once they have sex. when people understand that it takes a while to see if a partner has the personality for a strong foundation of trust, they invest fewer emotions and expectations. (the tests unfold in daily life; they can't be forced and scheduled.) then if the other person proves not to merit trust, it's not as painful.


excellent verbiage ^^^^^mr christoncrutches
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 54
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/9/2011 6:08:41 PM
I am rebuilding my trust in men "brick by brick"


Now now; burying him alive in your basement doesnt exactly qualify.


 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 55
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How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/10/2011 2:06:49 AM

Use your imagination. Yes, this is what some women will do....switch teams.


Nice thought but no thank you, I would rather use my imagination and put into practice how to stiff up excuse typo error I mean stand up and in attention THE man's "boss".
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 56
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/10/2011 6:41:50 AM
Some of us have no trust in people--not just men.

The human race as a whole is untrustworthy.
 EBette
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 57
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/10/2011 8:29:16 AM
Oh, why not ? I think that would count, might get you into trouble, but it could work.. LMAO

Guys and Girls dust yourself off, try to learn what went wrong and try again. Giving up is not an option. It might be easier, but life isn't meant to be easy.

For me switching teams won't do, I'm strictly****y..
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 58
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How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/11/2011 8:28:46 PM

It's not about trust in others, it's being able to trust your own judgements of others


I don't care what you call yourself evil or genuis but you are still our Rockman...Yes it has something to do with your judgement of others for God gave you a mind to use.
 AnEvilgenius
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 59
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/11/2011 8:35:52 PM

I don't care what you call yourself evil or genuis but you are still our Rockman...Yes it has something to do with your judgement of others for God gave you a mind to use.

Trust worthy people do not have trust issues.
Even if the lack of trust is with ones self.

 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 60
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/11/2011 8:39:39 PM

Trust worthy people do not have trust issues.
Even if the lack of trust is with ones self.


Much too simplistic. I am a very trustworthy person; in part, this is because I know what it is like to be betrayed. Because of my empathy, I will avoid hurting someone else in the ways that I have been hurt.

Most of my trust issues come from my bi-polar mother; I have learned to trust myself but to be wary of just about everyone else.
 AnEvilgenius
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 61
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/11/2011 8:45:35 PM
Life is simplistic, complications come in when we try to control everything.
I've never been hurt by a lie I didn't want to believe.

Expectations, now that's what causes pain and anguish, but we probably shouldn't talk about that because there is no way to point the finger at others for the way our own minds work.
 mitchw56
Joined: 10/1/2010
Msg: 62
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/11/2011 9:07:53 PM
"I am afraid to start dating again, and I am taking a time off, but I dont think I wont still be afraid.
In the beginning of getting to know someone things can seem so right. But you never really know until later on if the person is who they say they are and if they are trustworthy. And means taking time to get to know them..
and possibly wasting that time."

There are different things that you learn from each person you date and if you get a bad one it doesn't mean that they will all be bad. It takes time to get to know anyone in your life and communication is key in learning about who you are dating. You might try thinking of dating different people as learning expierences and take what you have learned and incorporate that into what you are looking for. Most people will give themselves away pretty quickly when it comes to bad behavior and you can learn from that and even take a look at yourself and see if your attracting these types. Talking with who you choose for a long time and getting to know them will help weed out those with problems you don't need to deal with. This is why becomming friends first is so important because a true friend won't abuse you or do bad behavior when you do finally get together. Never give up hope because there are nice people to date out there and it's just a matter of wading through the crowd and tossing out the bad ones until you finally meet the good one that deserves your friendship and kindness as they give theirs back to you.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 63
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/11/2011 9:13:30 PM

Life is simplistic, complications come in when we try to control everything.
I've never been hurt by a lie I didn't want to believe.

Expectations, now that's what causes pain and anguish, but we probably shouldn't talk about that because there is no way to point the finger at others for the way our own minds work.


You should write a self-help book for the lost and nearly hopeless.

My point was that people who have trust issues can be and are trustworthy--you can't judge everyone by people whom you have known.

I can get references if you would like.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 64
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/11/2011 10:00:13 PM

67: Life is simplistic, complications come in when we try to control everything.

I’m not sure that’s the word you want to use there.
Simplistic is “the tendency to oversimplify an issue or a problem by ignoring complexities or complications.”
 AnEvilgenius
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 65
How to Rebuild Trust In Men
Posted: 12/11/2011 10:37:58 PM
You should write a self-help book for the lost and nearly hopeless.

A book on personal responsibility would never sell. Those that take it rarely need tips and those that don't wouldn't understand it.

My point was that people who have trust issues can be and are trustworthy--you can't judge everyone by people whom you have known.

I got your point but felt it would be better if I kept my replies with in the context of the op.
They still very much apply but you don't understand it.
My comments are in no way based on people I've known and they are not judgements.

I can get references if you would like.

I really hate to ask but, do you think you could personalize this just a little bit more ?
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