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 AUTHOR
 kevination
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 107
I made a huge mistake and need some advice Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Learn to let go of everything you fear to lose. Jealousy, posession, attachment....lead to the darkside.
 j9768
Joined: 10/13/2011
Msg: 108
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/29/2011 7:44:27 PM
OP wrote:

I haven't had a drink since that night and I don't intend to drink again.


Why not go further.

I read in your profile that you live alone. Why? You also note that you are close to your family. Why not stay with them. I’m serious. Otherwise it won’t take much for another “friend" to come along which will find you on your bed again in an uncompromising position.

Look, don’t think you can handle this. The only men in your life that you NEED are your parents (father) and hopefully some brothers, under the SAME roof giving you shelter and protection. That being established you might have a chance to begin a healthy relationship.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 109
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/29/2011 8:25:58 PM
What you did wasn't a mistake. It was something you intentionally did. That is far different than a mistake. The same is true of the "best friend".

You just don't do stuff like that. Just like you don't start dating your best friend's ex-husband or ex-boyfriend.

Doing such shows a real lack of character.

Yes, there are times to cut your losses and move on. This is one of those times.
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 110
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/29/2011 9:44:54 PM
I moved fairly far away from my ex and then he moved one of his employees in with him shortly after! Whatever it takes to move on! Does he have a brother?

POF keeps saying my messages are too short! Does anyone else get this message? I guess there is a reason, but seems silly!
 Viper1E
Joined: 11/30/2011
Msg: 111
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/30/2011 4:47:09 AM
I moved fairly far away from my ex and then he moved one of his employees in with him shortly after! Whatever it takes to move on! Does he have a brother?


You remember you said that if you have a daughter, or a sister..
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 112
view profile
History
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/30/2011 5:12:47 AM
Your ex really knows how to pick his friends.....I wonder what his enemies do to him?..................
 Woman045
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 113
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/30/2011 6:17:54 AM
Go ahead an apologize and then be done with it. It's over.
 beautifaux
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 114
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/30/2011 8:21:23 AM
youre an idiot. period. you do the actions you do because you WANT TO.
being drunk is just an excuse. and your ex's friend told him because they
knew you were one that would sleep around. so a letter wont matter
he will just throw it away . too bad you messed it up.. its obvious you are
NOT READY for a real loving relationship . and you never will be until you
love yourself first completely. you slept with him because you want guys to like
you and you think thats how you get one.. sorry but this is the truth.
any guy will have sex with you anytime. and its just for his benefit. you "hit" a dead
end and he moved away.. well he was telling you something anyways.. he was no longer intereted .. maybe because he was tired of things you were doing and promised him you wouldnt. and you DIDNT feel bad breaking up with him . because you slept with his best friend. you were desperate that you wouldnt find someone else well maybe as nice as he was to you.. but to show how much you wanted him back by sleeping with his best friend is NOT how to get a man back. so move on in life and take my advice.. dont date a man for at least 2 years.. otherwise you will never figure out who you are and what you want in a relationship.
just have fun with your girl friiends.. good luck
 ruspukin
Joined: 9/29/2010
Msg: 115
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/30/2011 8:27:26 AM
saying sorry does help (both you and him). Saying that your sorry, and telling him in the same token something positive, will make you feel better about yourself, and help him to mend as well.
 MysticalAmbition
Joined: 11/24/2011
Msg: 116
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/30/2011 9:15:57 AM

I didn't plan on sleeping with his friend. I wasn't myself and I was drinking. He asked for a ride home from the bar and stupidly I went and picked him up.


You don't just sound stupid and immature from drinking and driving, but you also seemed to ask for it. How ridiculous could you be? If he needed a ride, you could've at least talked to your ex about it. That's not winning yourself points... Lets just put it this way- how would you feel if your ex screwed your best friend? It's the same moral. Or perhaps your sister? A best friend is just like your brother or sister. I don't blame the ex for not forgiving you. Don't limit your challenges, challenge your limits.
 MysticalAmbition
Joined: 11/24/2011
Msg: 117
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/30/2011 9:17:31 AM
May I also mention... Kill him with your kindness.
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 118
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/30/2011 12:28:54 PM
Boy some of the post are here are out of control. Calling the OP an idiot and stupid and other names is so non productive. So many people on this site judge like they are perfect or something! Give it a break; she made a mistake and she was being honest in her post! OP I hope you have been able to work through your feelings of guilt. Saying sorry out loud and even to the ex will help you to move on. And that is what you need to do. Forgive yourself and if he doesn’t say he accepts your apology don’t worry about it too much. You have your life to live. You have no permanent commitment to him and he has none to you. God bless!
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 119
view profile
History
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/31/2011 12:34:31 AM
I couldn't get past the first page...



I wasn't myself and I was drinking. He asked for a ride home from the bar and stupidly I went and picked him up.


Mistake after mistake.
Can't fix or say sorry when you kill someone drinking and driving.
Can't fix or say sorry when you drink 2 bottles of wine and mistakenly fall on to his penis.
Girlfriend I say this as a mom...Learn from these MISTAKES stop with the childish behavior and move on.
The milk spilled can never be put back in the glass for drinking!
Forgiveness is really for our self's, we all make mistakes when we learn from them, that is the true forgiveness.
Good luck...I know you hurt but you will grow from this!
Time to let go...
 Viper1E
Joined: 11/30/2011
Msg: 120
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/31/2011 2:23:06 AM

just have fun with your girl friiends.. good luck


And going lesbo fixes what?
 4wheeling1
Joined: 4/30/2011
Msg: 121
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/31/2011 10:44:51 AM
Did you use protection?
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 122
view profile
History
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/31/2011 10:52:34 AM
12 step program would help with all the problems mentioned in the OP - I'm not even suggesting you quit drinking necessarily but practicing the teachings will help you tremendously.
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 123
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 12/31/2011 9:38:59 PM
Sorry OP ....must have been alot of sexual tension between you and his best friend ... as soon as he's gone ....you too hook up
but that aside ...he's gone , its over and you won't get him back and his best friend may find it alot harder to find ....a best friend ..!!

you made your bed .......
 VOYAGER1954
Joined: 12/18/2011
Msg: 124
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 1/1/2012 3:19:55 AM

I think we have been over for a long time and we just didn't have the guts to end it.

So the best thing to do was destroy another of his strong relationships? Good Plan
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 125
view profile
History
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 1/1/2012 4:32:50 AM
The relationship ran its course. Over the course of six years, so much can change at your age. The biggest changes can happen between 18 and 25.

As for the mistake, taking personal responsibility and learning from it is all you can do. It is what it is.
 apurfectmeow
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 126
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 1/1/2012 6:10:38 AM
^ Bingo. I hope you have learned never to sleep with friends/family/co-workers of someone you dated. It only causes grief. The after math of your actions has just begun because men are not like women. They have much stronger life long bonds with their friends. Now a woman came between that bond and everyone will know why.
You will be labeled for a long time. That is the true lesson here. Next time Im sure you will be much more responsible.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 127
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 1/1/2012 6:44:56 AM
If I were him;
slept with the best friend...
I might forgive him in a couple of years
you - never; hell we are already 2.5 hours apart - good enough, good bye.
And if we are quoting Friends.... I will also invoke the Bro Code from How I met your Mother - Bros before Hos.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 128
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 1/1/2012 12:26:54 PM
Really? you felt bad about it, but didnt feel bad when you planned it out and acted on it.
I think you did him a huge favor , for him to find someone who wont cheat on him.
 ek45071
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 129
I made a huge mistake and need some advice
Posted: 1/1/2012 12:32:52 PM
Life is like that sometimes. You can write him the letter but its truely up to him if he forgives you. He may not be ready to do that, he may have something in his past that makes it unlikely that he will. If you write him...just do that, don't push for foregiveness. You may end up just facing the music either way. Good luck.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > I made a huge mistake and need some advice