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 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 42
Why cant I have casual sex?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Because you have morals, are intelligent and you're not a skank. Yay for you!
Don't worry about what other people tell you about what you SHOULD be doing, do what you feel is the best for YOU. Don't compromise the way you are & change for others.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 43
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 12/16/2011 8:09:45 PM

Because you have morals, are intelligent and you're not a skank. Yay for you!
Don't worry about what other people tell you about what you SHOULD be doing…

With all due respect, do you not see the irony in telling her not to listen to the “shoulds” of others, and then telling her that casual sex is immoral, unintelligent and skanky?

Perhaps you meant she shouldn’t listen to people who disagree with yourself?
 Becoming_Me
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 44
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:16:11 AM
If it's not you then its not you. There is nothing wrong with casual sex for the people that can and do have it. I don't get in to the whole labling thing were if you're having a lot of sex with lots of diffrent people then your a slut or if you choose not to have sex your a prude. I think we are who we are and insted of trying to change it we need to figure out how to imbrace it and own it. So you're not into casual sex....do you need to be? Do you want to be?
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 45
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 12/17/2011 12:27:11 AM

I don't get in to the whole labling thing were if you're having a lot of sex with lots of diffrent people then your a slut or if you choose not to have sex your a prude.


GOOD point and I find this very true when you listen and allow others to tell you how you should feel about personal life decisions, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. .... You see, there will always be certain people who pass judgement on you, one way or another.

So OP, why not just pick the choice where YOU are most comfortable with and to hell with what others think! .....
 PRPrincessDi
Joined: 8/20/2011
Msg: 46
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 12/17/2011 4:39:26 AM
Always stay true to your self. I am 37 years old and Ive always practiced just that. All my girlfriends make fun of me but in the long run, while they are meeting guys and sleepin with them within 2 weeks or less and then break up, they have a whole list of lovers and me Im slow but never had the drama or have the STDs!!! Im happy for remaining true to myself. RESPECT YOURSELF, UR DOING THE RIGHT THING. MR RIGHT WILL APPRECIATE THAT IF HE TRULY WANTS TO BE WITH YOU, EVERYONE ELSE F.. EM!!!
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 47
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 12/17/2011 5:20:02 AM
if it isnt for you then do not have it.
i do not have casual sex and I wrote that in my profile.
when Mr. Right comes along he will love you for that.
 TimeEnoughForLove
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 48
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 12/17/2011 9:32:21 AM
Sex is just sex...that's it. It has a value, but not much beyond enjoying a good diner. Most males (not all) simply do not require an emotional attachment for sex. If that were not true the oldest profession on the planet would have died out a long time ago. However, the experience of sex for males is different than for females. I doubt either gender will ever understand that difference. And between consenting adults there is no such thing as wrong.

With all that said, I can't think of anything more wrong than to do something you do not want to do. Follow your instinct and in the long run you will be a lot happier with yourself concept. (Don't under estimate the value of a vibrator).
 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/10/2012 10:35:02 AM
I feel the same way, or maybe it is fear of the crazies ?
 redhead00507
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 51
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/10/2012 11:03:34 AM
I understand where you come from cause I'm the exact same way. Some of the best parts about sex is the stuff leading up to it..the passionate kissing and all of that. And even kissing isn't the same if there's no feelings behind it. Don't think there's anything wrong with you cause there isn't. I'm sure there's plenty more women like you and I that can't do it. Try to be proud of that factor instead of feeling it's a negative.
 Mozzily
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 52
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/10/2012 11:10:34 AM
Im just like you, just have sex with a guy that you dont have any emotional attraction to or have no desire to date.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 53
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/11/2012 8:22:12 AM
It gets easier I must say..

I think in general, us girls aren't built for the "casual"

But in the end, just be yourself and try to always have an open mind...

Also, as i'm still learning..most things aren't taken "serious" in the dating world, so again..be open minded and don't loose your head or heart until you know for sure...
 forums_gal
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 54
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/11/2012 8:42:36 AM
There's no right or wrong answer. Some people need an emotional connection to enjoy sex. Others don't. Personally I don't have sex with every attractive person that is interested in me. But I wouldn't avoid sex just because I was single.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 55
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/11/2012 2:57:13 PM
Oh my - when I was your age ... well ... I dare not admit all of it here. Let's just say , good times were had, and often without any strong attachments !

No one harmed, no guilt , all good. Leaving some fine, fond, fun memories !



On the other hand - being truly in love brings a whole 'nuther level of experience - the kind I want now.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 56
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/11/2012 3:57:33 PM
Hey op, I dare you and anyone else who reads this to ponder this. It's fictional, to the best of my knowledge, but I guess you could say it could be possible as strange as it may sound. Ok there's a brothel (as it could well be considered). However it's different as I'll explain. People who are sexually frustrated could go there under a cloak of anonymity. They could register and pay for this per say. And they could agree to certain terms to abide by. They will have answered a quetionaire in advance, explaining what kind of person their physically attracted to. And that type of person could be their make out partner. The primary term they would have to abide by, they had to disguise their faces and other identifying features, and be required to keep them on at all times.

Two people, total strangers to each other per say could take part (will just say a man and woman for now). And they could have sex. So this would be like a sex match making business. With the sole intent to satisfy people sexually under total secrecy and in a safe controlled environment (with safe sex practices and so on). Then after the people could leave, hopefully somewhat sexually satisfied and no one's any the wiser. This service could be for all types of different people who for their own reasons value their privacy, but still want to have sex. And since both people signed up, everyone is equal. What I'm getting at, is hopefully nobody would feel degraded or to degraded, in the sense where is in the case of prostitution one has to pay the other and may feel low for that reason.

It's not like I think this could ever go over, at least not in North America (lol). But if there was a service like this, would you or anyone else consider this? And do you (the op, or whomever) think it would still bother you under these circumstances. Frankly speaking, if somehow this concept did become a reality, I think it would be kind of pathetic that it would need to be like this for some people.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 58
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/12/2012 7:09:47 AM
How can you know when you're having sex with meaning if you haven't ever had sex without meaning? How do you differentiate? How do you keep from simply confusing sex with meaning?
 joe_226
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 60
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History
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/12/2012 11:54:29 AM
Jen,
I understand what you and everyone else
is saying about "non-strings-attached sex".
But, it's to each their own. Sex is a primal
necessity between man &woman. Done in
either a "relationship" or just 2 people getting together for a "f***", it is still "sex"
no matter which way you slice it or look at
it.
So I, & I'm sure many others, don't understand why you ladies are making such a fuss about just following your primal instinct and just be happy with satisfaction.
 Lady_Vae
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 61
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/13/2012 12:46:53 PM
Honey, I am just like you, and let me tell you something. While I have a tendency of going a LONG time between sexual encounters, I feel much better about it when I do it because I know that whatever happens later, it meant something to me now. It's not something WRONG with you, it just means you have sexual needs that most people don't. Personally, I think its healthier to have emotion involved, it keeps you from making as many mistakes as you might if you just jumped into bed with someone you don't really know.
 ohio07
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 62
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/19/2012 9:08:27 PM
You could be a late bloomer. I wasn't into dating and hooking up with people all through my 20's. I was fine without it. When the right person found me, it clicked from the get go, nothing was forced. No guilt, completely natural. And it was fun learning about each other and how to make each other happy.

I tried to be like everybody else a couple of times, and I had opportunities, but something just didn't feel right. I didn't trust them enough or feel that connection to let it go and be vulnerable, physically or especially emotionally. You can say you won't care, but a part of you always does, no matter who you sleep with. Some people just accept it and get jaded to it all, while others know themselves well enough to know what kind of emotional involvement they can handle, and what they can't. I wouldn't regret anything that led me up to the point where my soulmate found me. And I'm glad I didn't settle and miss out on having her fill a great need in my life, that went way beyond physical intamicy, to the only kind of real intamicy that matters between two people, that is much deeper than the physical kind.

You obviously know yourself, I'd trust myself to know when the person was worth it, and when they were not. I wish you the best of luck finding what you need to be happy. It's much better than settling for less.
 gdscott75
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 63
view profile
History
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/20/2012 1:22:17 AM
well put. it takes all the games out of it. at the same time its still a compatibility issue. i totally see your point though!
 onceagain57
Joined: 11/25/2011
Msg: 64
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/20/2012 6:18:38 AM
And your point?.....people all think different....nothing wrong with the way you think...its special if you ask me...and if a guy doesnt want to think the way you do...stinks to be him....some can do it and some cant....to each their own!
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 65
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/20/2012 6:32:05 AM
I get told the same thing, & I've learned to ignore the ppl who encourage me to go out & get laid. I can't have casual sex either, I think that's a good thing. Why would you want to be used for sex then disgarded like trash when he's done w/you?
It's ok to want/need an emotional connection, to have it mean something to you. I've been told the same thing, detach the physical from the emotional, & I can't do it either. That's just the way are personalities are. How can sex with no emotion or commitment be fulfilling? I've been celebate for over 3 years now. I could go out & get laid anywhere. I don't because if a loving relationship doesn't come w/it, then I don't want it. There's nothing worse than waking up the next day, knowing you want to get out of there pronto, that feeling unfufilled, feeling regret.
 Lookingforyou1960
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 66
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/20/2012 6:52:35 AM
Your not crazy.. With they way dating is today it almost better to have some friends for sex and stay single
 LyamB
Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 67
view profile
History
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/20/2012 6:59:51 AM
It seems almost like you're complaining for not wanting to sleep around and potentially catch nasty STDs...why do you want to change? Just keep looking for someone.
 Helloitsmeyourlookingfor
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 68
Why cant I have casual sex?
Posted: 2/20/2012 8:09:14 AM
Be your own person. End of story.
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