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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Are single dads something most women don't like?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Volunteer_Radio_Host_97_5
Joined: 10/4/2009
Msg: 30
Are single dads something most women don't like?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I'm 34 y.o. and I'm a single dad and most women refuse to date me which isn't fair because before my daughter was born I used to date single moms and I've never had any problems with that, I still date single moms thou
 Flynn__Rider
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 31
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/18/2011 9:00:15 PM
Great thread/question. It seems everyone is kinda right here. Kevin, you mentioned it might be easier if you were older with a child? Nope! lol I'm 39 and have my 2 daughters (7 & 3) most of the time. All I can say is that what I mostly do is look at women who are in the same situation as myself as far as kids go. Instaed of saying "baggage" I'd like to meet someone who knows the joys and "challages" of being a parent. Not sure if your looking at women without kids, but I'm sure at your age most don't want that commitment of a young child just yet. You seem like a great person/Dad and I'm sure things will turn out good for you. Also, and just to throw it out there, online dating is difficult! I won't ramble about all my stories on here lol but I always say, "It doesn't matter about your failures on here just that one success!" Good luck!
 stargazer977
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 32
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/20/2011 3:19:39 PM
I don't think it is so much your age as much as meeting people who have children versus those who don't. I have known a lot of single women from age 20-40 that have kids who ran into similar problems with men who do not have children.

As a woman and just someone in general who is childless, I can offer you my experience/insight to aversion to single dads:

1. Baby momma/ex drama that was clearly the proverbial ring in the guy's nose where it interferes with the man's adult & child relationships. Been there, done that.

2. No time for the woman. I dated a man who was wonderful and seemed like a great man & father---but he worked 3rd shift and the only time he had off he spent with his daughter. I'm glad he did and he should. Good for their relationship but obviously not good for me or anyone else he dated. He shouldn't be dating anyone period until he was able to figure out his time management better

3. Most single dads don't normally want more children or fairly unsure if they do want anymore. As a woman without a child and who eventually wants children of their own--that is a huge deal breaker. I dated a man who had older children once. A 13 and 11 year old. He clearly knew I wanted to have children of my own one day while at the time, he was on the fence about more children. He always said "maybe". He eventually broke up with me because "I really can't see myself being a father to young children at my age" He was only 33 at the time and had his kids early. Needless to say that caused a lot of pain because he knew darn well how I felt and what I wanted long before he allowed it to progress as far as it did.

I would consider dating a man with a child/children depending on
1. If he can stand up to his ex and not allow her to interfere or use her child as a pawn--all within reason obviously
2. Clearly has time for both his child and myself
3. Eventually wants to have more children

I think a lot of women would feel the same but I can't speak for all. Don't get down about it, there are women, both childless and with children willing to date men with kids.
 kawasakiprincess
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 33
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/21/2011 7:37:49 AM
well im 23 and me personally i wont date a man with a kid i have lots of reasons 1 is if i choose to have a kid i want it to be our first expereince together dating a man with a kid just complicates things for me at least im honest about it. if i wanted to deal with kids i would of had one but 23 i want a man that can do what he wants when he wants your only young once i tried talking to few men with kids kids get sick gotta pick them up for school then there is the whole thing about my kid comes first no matter and thats fine... really if i had a kid it be the same way BUT I DONT NEED TO BE REMINDED IM BE 2ND BEST TO YOU so with that being said i just avoid the whole thing i feel i should be first in a mans heart like he is with me then i will gladly give up my first spot to our kid but til then forget it this is just my opionion alot of people seem to get very defensive sometimes well thats just my answer oh and try dating a women with a kid might be better for you least they should understand now bear in mind.... YOUR A GOOD FATHER THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT MORE MEN SHOULD BE LIKE YOU but.. whatever kids bring to the table some people just dont wanna deal
 kawasakiprincess
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 34
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/21/2011 7:39:13 AM
@star couldnt agree more
 matty123_
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 36
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/21/2011 6:06:25 PM
i feel for you buddy. it's rough. if your kid was older, more mature, she would tell you that she wants you to be happy. Your happiness is implicit in your ability to parent to the best of your ability. Nobody ever said it would be easy. It's not. It's worth it for your child's love and the bond. Anyone passing judgement on your situation...well who cares about them. Keep trying and you can choose to be happy now, but easier said than done.
 cwg76
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 37
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/22/2011 9:20:33 AM
I have had kind of the opposite effect. They tend to gravitate towards me more since I have a child. I was told once that people with children tend to be more responsible, and that is what this one person liked about dating men with children. On the other hand, I have had few that didnt want to date me because I have a child.... Didnt bother me one bit either. My son is more important to me than anything. Good ridance!
 jon44641
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 38
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/24/2011 8:59:36 AM
I agree, and disagree with many of these posts. Regardless of the age, kids need attention. I don't think you need to wait until the child is a certain age to start dating. You're ready when you're ready. Being a single father at 32, I'm more cautious about my daughter meeting those that I date. I don't think it would be a good idea... and many would agree. Best of luck.
 Helel84
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 39
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/24/2011 11:16:16 AM
I agree with xMs Nicolax: you don't need to spew your personal situation out to everyone off the bat. I'm 27 and I have a 5 year old, so I know what it's like to be 24 with a baby. The thing is, you can't go and reveal all the drama you're having with the mom from the start, it's depressing and no one wants to think about what'll make them feel bad. If you want to date: present yourself and what kind of person you are, mention that you are a single parent and focus on showing that you are like any other young adult. It's not because you have a child that you can't be fun, engaging, smart or interesting, and if the girl doesn't realize that, that's her problem. The fact of the matter is, you can't push your custody struggles on someone you're trying to get acquainted with, let alone date.

Personally, I don't bother with dating. For the most part, it's for the reasons posted above by some of the women: girls in their mid-twenties are mainly looking to enjoy life. These aren't the 50s where they had to be married to live away from their parents, women have options and those options (much like the options of men) usually veer towards focusing on partners to share adventures with. When the right person comes along, people tend to feel it, but until then, it's probably best to just enjoy your life, the time you spend with your daughter and try to regain balance in the turbulence that surrounds your parenting situation.
 Cupidguy
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 40
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/25/2011 9:00:24 AM
Being a single parent of an 8 yr old at 40, I can say that the role that men play in parenting is slowly changing. I typically will not reply to an ad if the woman does not have a kid, and likely around mine's age. It also works out well because the women with kids mine's age are usually younger than I am. I don't have any issues dating, it becomes more about finding the person that is compatable with my parenting style which is modern...
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 41
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/26/2011 11:41:14 AM
Then dont date..We women dont want to date a man who cant balance his life.
 gothicgirl86
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 42
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/27/2011 10:10:17 AM
I would date a man with kids because he knows just how it is when you can't get all the time or you have to break a date because your child is sick. Actually I prefer men with kids.
 KarissaMaePope
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 43
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/27/2011 12:34:18 PM
Maybe your not looking at the right people,
Personally I'm a single mom so yeah single dads are easier to date cause they understand that you dont always have time, but i currently have an amazing boyfriend who is 19 without kids and doesnt mind i have a kid, I think your just looking at the right girls, its not easy to date someone who understands a single parents prospective but a GOOd person understands that a child isnt a reason to to give someone a shot just saying
 zink6122
Joined: 12/18/2011
Msg: 44
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/27/2011 6:20:14 PM
From my experience, women generally find a single father to be quite attractive. It shows that you are very responsible and reliable. You're a person that takes care of his family. These are obviously attractive qualities for a man to have.

However, everyone has their preference too. For me, a girl that has kids and is in great shape is more attractive to me than a girl who's in shape and doesn't have kids. Many guys would disagree, but that's just me.

They may also be finding a polite excuse not to talk to you because they weren't crazy about your approach, or how you initiated conversation with them. This is one of the disadvantages of online dating. There is no way of subcommunicating via voice tonality, body language, etc. (which is about 90% of all communication), so if you say something that she doesn't like, she will politely excuse herself from talking to you. So where as she initially found it attractive that you are a single father, she may have been turned off by something else.

Hope this helps pal.
 machrider
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 45
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/28/2011 4:20:52 PM
I just answered a question somewhat like this.

The ladies your age want their man to focus on them. Hey, it sucks, you don' t have to like it. I'll quote Dr. Phil "It is what it is".

Being a single dad myself, I give you props on taking care of a young child at your age. You have given up a lot to do what you do. Kudos to you.

If a woman replies "I don't date people with kids" or something of the such (I can't remember your quote). Four words.

Sucks To Be Them.
 angelo0311
Joined: 12/22/2010
Msg: 46
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History
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/28/2011 10:03:45 PM
FOCUS ....on your daughter all that other stuff will eventually fall into place . Theres lots of reasons women wont date men . Sometimes having a kid is one of them .sometimes its cause im only 5'7 " and she likes to wear heals all the time ha ha ha or you have to be a stand up frickin comic to keep her amused .You have an awesome oppertunity to be a great person to your young one .someday somebody special will see that .
 billygee
Joined: 8/10/2011
Msg: 47
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 12/29/2011 10:58:37 AM
hey mate im a 37yr old single dad, i have fought like hell to get custody of my baby girl but to na avail.I dont want to sound like a goody goody but i have my own home,a steady well paying job an most of all im not an alcho like bubs mum.To be honest dating hasnt crossed my mind to often,mainly because of the drama my ex would cause between myself and any potential partner.In saying that if i meet the right lady then my ex is just going to have to deal with it,my only fear is that she will use bub as a tool to manipulate me.Mate dont stress about dating anyone,concentrate on what you can do for your child,theres plenty of girls out there ,that when they see you with your baby would love nothing more than to have you in their lives.
 lar2564
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 1/1/2012 10:30:43 AM
My dad was a fulltime single dad of 5 of us and waited till we were grown up before dating. He meet the love of his life through Match at 69 and died 8 years later. He told me those 8 years were well worth the wait.

Not saying you have to wait that long, but I think when you do find the right woman, you will have the maturity to develop a good relationship because of your experience and it will be well worth it.
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 49
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:29:08 PM
^^^^Hey, Lar!!! Sounds like DAD was a Great guy. Mine was too. That is how we learn our parenting skills from our same sex parent. Most of these threads have been very uplifting and positive. Most of the women have been very supportive and positive. COOL. Man, did I have a shoot out yesterday with a group of unmentioned narcisists on another thread. Men and women who focus on their kids are HOT!!!! Maybe us folks with kids should go to a site for single parents. To answer the above question; it all depends on the woman. Two points: Treat my kid right; I'll return the affection in spades. Be cool to your kids; they will be choosing your nursing home one day.
 backinjersey
Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 51
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:50:45 PM
kevin i hear what you are saying, im a single dad 28yrs old and have a 6 month old son. most of the women that i meet her don't really want anything to do with a single dad. its a heart wrenching experience to say the least but ive learned that id rather put less faith in others and more into making my child's life better.
 Ms_Beach
Joined: 10/14/2011
Msg: 52
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:03:02 PM
I can't believe any woman would I actually say that to a single dad. I rarely run into a single dad...dads with kids that only see em every other weekend, but a single dad or a dad with more than half of the custody is rare! I think it's great...and since I myself am a single mom, I prefer to date men that have a child. They tend to understand my situation more and are a bit more understanding of why I can't go out every single night. Simply because I'm all there is... And no man is coming between my little boy and I. ;))

I have, however, run into men that are kind of like how you're describing. Except they talk to me for a little while...and then after they realize where my priorities are, they stop talking to me. *Shrug* Oh well. :))
 RIPTIDE59
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 53
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:24:39 PM
^^^^"No man is coming between my little boy and I" You really do get it!!! That is so attractive!!! Where were you yesterday when I was getting bullied by the "all about me"
gang? LOL. Hey, we can still date and have fun; just don't throw the kid under the bus!!!
Incidently, I see my little girl every day. She lives with me about 4 -5 days/wk. Times are changing!!!!
 D-Rex33
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 54
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:28:26 PM
Well im a single father of 2 daughters.. the first thing i notice when people ask about them is.. Are they both from the same mom? Then it goes to.. How is your relationship with their mother?... I think that women see the children as a remnent of a relationship that didnt turn out the way they want their relationships to go.. The comon denominator here is you, the dad.. Most girls without children dont understand what its like to be a single parent.. Single parents have to do all the work and get no benifet of having that persone to show them that all they do for there children is opriciated.. not to mention that instead of just learning a new guy and all his little details.. they have to accept your children to.. Thats a lot to ask from someone and if they cant do it.. your better off leaving them be and finding someone who is open to it.. its better for the relationships you are trying to form.. Hope i helped..
 heart2cook
Joined: 2/9/2011
Msg: 55
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:32:08 PM
Well said D-Rex!

I used to try to avoid single dads, back when I was not a mother. Now that I'm a mother, I prefer single dads because they understand why I'd have to call off date night if my daughter gets sick, etc.

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