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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Are single dads something most women don't like?      Home login  
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 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 96
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Are single dads something most women don't like?Page 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

I find it odd that someone raising a child doesn't want to be with another person that is raising a child. I can fully understand that a person that never had children or a person who's children are now grown and gone from the home wouldn't want to date someone with children at home. But someone that has children, is dealing with co parenting or shared custody or full custody, why would they not want to date someone in the same situation? It's like saying "yes, I have a dog but you can't have a dog if you want to date me?" It makes no sense.



Since the erosion of traditional domesticated roles ( both step/parents have equal authority and say) coupled with non-custodial parent drama, unruly children themselves and financial limitations, being in a step parent role more often then not is more hassle then its worth. Even if the one party has kids herself, she may not consider herself and her situation a hassle to be reconciled with, even though that may be the case.

I do wonder why women that decline dating custodial fathers seem to get less scrutiny then men that decline dating custodial mothers? Particularly when statistics have shown that custodial fathers are more likely to have more financial resources, better behaved children and less overall drama then their female counterparts (women with actively involved ex-partners this is less prominent).

If I were to separate from child's mother again, I would not consider long term relationships or cohabitation with another woman until my child is grown or significantly older. Unfortunately, most women in their thirties with kids, contrary to what they overtly say, are looking for guys to cohabitate with to alleviate their financial and child-rearing woes.

More then likely that would mean serial dating as they would leave when they knew there attempts at cuckoldry have failed. Works for me!
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 97
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/24/2015 7:24:23 PM
in the dating world it has always been a big advantage for me to not have had children.

I was available at a moments notice, had reliable babysitters on hand if needed and my money was not channeled to anything other than a mortgage payment, car, clothes, food and utilities. hence I was able to properly entertain women in a style which commenserated a positive dating experience.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 98
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/25/2015 6:41:59 AM
I understand.

I've had my children, and now it's my turn to find somebody who's also done having children (and whose children are grown). All too often, I have encountered problem after problem with men my age who are still struggling to raise their (very young) minor children and don't have the time to build a relationship. I don't want their drama; I don't want my income to go their other family's care; and I don't appreciate being told that I must settle or reduce my preferences because they don't find it agreeable that as a mother myself to a grown and adolescent son), that i don't have options or the right to exercise them.

There will be no consequences to me that I'll suffer if I say no to these people, and it's my right to decide what happens in my own life. Why should I avail my life to something I don't consent to having in it, in the first place? Do you think the men who pass over my profile are going to worry about me? No -- and they don't and they shouldn't. Why should I for them? My vagina isn't a martyr for lonely men saddled with too many responsibilities.

I do realize it narrows my pool quite largely -- but this is my responsibility to accept, and I do.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 99
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/25/2015 6:47:49 AM


It's all case by case. If you've got kids and you date another person with kids, maybe those other kids have not had a good upbringing


I agree that maybe it's all worth it. And it is taken on a case-by-case. But *I* make that decision for myself.

Again, this really isn't a matter about who wants to be a step-parent or not. (I don't -- but that doesn't mean an opportunity won't present itself in my life and I may change my mind.)

It's a matter, it seems, that I (and others in my position) have no right to make my own choices about my own family and reproductive life.

Since I am a better assessor of my own life, I will make my own decisions.
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 100
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/25/2015 9:48:11 AM

My vagina isn't a martyr for lonely men saddled with too many responsibilities


the best laugh I've had today and an absolute truism.

I vote it QUOTE OF THE MONTH!!!
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 101
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/25/2015 12:12:56 PM
Thanks.

I'm bloviating. I've seen profile after profile where fathers claim they haven't any time to do anything -- but will make a little time for bootie. What an inviting prospect.

Take care.
 Millionpaws
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 102
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/25/2015 3:19:46 PM
^^^^ I concur.

There is a profession that has been around for a very long time to provide no strings sex.
All you need is some money and the time required to do your deed.
No need to worry about any of that nasty courting or any concerns about pleasing the woman.


 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 103
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/25/2015 6:33:01 PM
on women's profiles I've seen them write stuff such as :

am incredibly busy
have 3 children
work two jobs
spare time taken by caring for an elderly parent
kids have soccer and football practice
I volunteer at the hospital

"BUT IF YOU'RE SPECIAL I'LL FIND TIME FOR YOU"

really? i'm on the back burner until you have a half hour out of the month to spare?
lucky me!
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 104
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Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/27/2015 5:37:50 PM

I've had my children, and now it's my turn to find somebody who's also done having children (and whose children are grown). All too often, I have encountered problem after problem with men my age who are still struggling to raise their (very young) minor children and don't have the time to build a relationship. I don't want their drama; I don't want my income to go their other family's care; and I don't appreciate being told that I must settle or reduce my preferences because they don't find it agreeable that as a mother myself to a grown and adolescent son), that i don't have options or the right to exercise them.


I agree with everything you said. The thing is though, what you described pertains not just to middle-aged men with young children, it pertains to anyone will sole custody of young children. I've also observed that older women 40+ that choose not to date men with young children, always lead off their decline with " I've had my kids", "I've done my time", "Been there, done that". I say that because regardless if a person has had or raised kids themselves doesn't have any bearing on whether the other party (men with young kids) has time to build a relationship or not.

I bring this up because whenever I have seen men decline relationships with younger single mothers, men are normally called shallow or self-absorbed.

Why is it we can all agree that a middle-aged man with sole custody of his kids objectively does not have sufficient free time to foster a relationship (generally speaking), yet when it comes to younger sole custody single mothers, some how everyone pretends (or stays silent) they are able to perform the same feat that their older male counterparts cannot?

Somehow they can squeeze that 10bls of sand in a 5lb bag. Like I said in my last post, one would assume some of the financial obstacles wouldn't be there with a middle-aged man since generally they would have more earning power then a 25 year old single mom.


on women's profiles I've seen them write stuff such as :

am incredibly busy
have 3 children
work two jobs
spare time taken by caring for an elderly parent
kids have soccer and football practice
I volunteer at the hospital

"BUT IF YOU'RE SPECIAL I'LL FIND TIME FOR YOU"


Most of the women I dated in my 20's were sole custody single moms. Although each situation varied, everyone of them lacked free time for a actual relationship.

Each persons day started with waking at 6, getting kids ready, going to work, coming home, making meals, homework, playing with kids then when the kids went to bed at 9 (if they did) normally they would surf channels for few minutes then nod off. Weekends were catching up on sleep, housework then kid activities.

Between work, kids and the house the only time for a relationship these women had were after 9PM and by then they were worn to a frazzle. Hardly a relationship when some is nodding off during a conversation or giving up sex (thrice a week) more as chore to keep you sticking around.


My vagina isn't a martyr for lonely men saddled with too many responsibilities.


Exquisitely poetic.

But what you said is the truth. I don't know why people look for a relationship when they know they don't have the time for one. Could be loneliness, but more than likely they are sending out a SOS for help (physical and/ or financial).
 Millionpaws
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 105
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/27/2015 9:32:44 PM
My dating experiences with single dads (and with female friends who have become single mums) is that they do not have any spare time.
And if they manage to find some spare time the childfree people have to fit in with them.

It just gets too hard.


_________________________________________________________________________________________
I am breaking one of my own rules and inviting a female friend who is a single mum to a Xmas in July dinner party I am hosting.
She has asked if she can bring her 10 year old daughter and I have said yes.

The last time I tried an adult party with a child it was a disaster.

This little girl is a delight and we get along famously... I am a sort of Auntie Mame to her.
Every child needs a mad auntie :)

We will be 7 for dinner.
2 x married couples.
Mum and daughter
Me.

Mum and daughter as well as one of the couples are staying overnight.

Fingers crossed.
 springorfall
Joined: 5/17/2015
Msg: 106
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Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 5/28/2015 8:14:14 AM

I'm bloviating. I've seen profile after profile where fathers claim they haven't any time to do anything -- but will make a little time for bootie. What an inviting prospect.


and they say romance is dead! lol :D

As far as single dads go, if we are compatible and mutually attracted, then I'd enjoy dating a single dad or a non-dad. The only reason why I'd totally want NOTHING to do with a single dad is if he was negligent towards his child/children either not spending any time with them by choice, being horrible to them when he is with them, or not paying child support. If someone isn't there in a loving way for the most vulnerable responsibility he has, then that shows a want of character, imo.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 107
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 6/2/2015 3:30:41 AM
^^None of us would want that.

But fathers (as well as mothers) are SUPPOSE to support their children, financially, emotionally, and socially.

And you're right. Unfortunately, there are people who are responsibly devoted to their children and are still shitty to their partners.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 108
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 6/30/2015 7:14:00 PM

Are single dads something most women don't like?


Maybe.
But they also don't like never married men in their 50's who have no children, either.


because I seem to get a lot of comments saying, "sorry I don't talk to people with children".


I don't get many similar comments.

Mostly I just get passed by after viewing.
 QuietManHere
Joined: 3/6/2015
Msg: 109
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Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 7/19/2015 1:52:51 AM
This is almost funny in a way that slaps my face back into reality that people are just picky. If the shallow physical attraction model of popularized media portrayal isn't there, people will focus on the division of time management. It's almost like they don't want to compete for time, knowing full well that they might lose. Yes my children will come first.

Personally I wouldn't get wondering what's their thought process is. I more concern about being the best version of myself for my children.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 110
Are single dads something most women don't like?
Posted: 8/6/2015 12:52:38 PM
If your kids come first your best bet is to date another parent who is on the same page. I don't know how that would look though.....after sex and all. Kinda like some form of prostitution.
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