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 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 41
Why isn't he making a move?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

Wow! I spent more time in the past WEEK with my 1/4 sheet finishing sander.

Doesn't that hurt?
 Yew4ics
Joined: 9/30/2010
Msg: 42
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/9/2012 11:18:37 PM
How to seduce a man...hmmmm
*Dress for the occasion. Wear something that shows some cleavage. Wear something that shows plenty of leg. Then, at some point, during your next date, tell him you wore __________ <------- fill in the blank colored bra and panties for him.
*Next time you're texting or on the phone with him scheduling your next date. Just ask, "can tonight be the night baby? you know...THE night?"
* Think of Rose and Jack in the Titanic car scene. She said " Put your hands on me Jack". That's all the prodding he needed. He did the 'prodding' after that.
*When you both get home, tell him "damn this bra is so uncomfortable." and take it off, with your shirt still on...you know that trick we ladies have with sliding the straps down our arms and unhooking it ourselve while still dressed. Then start taking off those earrings one at a time, while staring at him. Eye contact does wonders.
If none of these options makes him frisky...then it's safe to assume he has been listening to Barry Manilow cd's. lol
 sauder
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 43
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 12:25:50 AM
Girlfriend.. your post is like you are talking about me. Matter of fact this very same thing has happened to me only I found out later on what I missed. My girl got frustrated and disappeared. So I'm a gentleman and I didn't try anything on two dates... that's all it took. I got this from her best friend... my best friends wife! Yeah, I picked up the maid of honor at my buddies wedding. The girl could not understand WHY I didn't attack her. I'm a gent... and she should have kissed me.

Now my side of it is this.
I was raised to be a gentleman.
I am not going to attack a woman I've been on 3 dates with. I don't want to be that jerk etc.

Now after I know where I stand with her... it no longer matters... I'll sneak attack at any given moment but never until I'm sure of the relationship.

I suggest that you just lay one on him during the middle of the date and hug him for a bit. When he pauses, all choked up and not knowing what to do, kiss him again and tell him how you feel. If that doesn't do it... talk with him... you may have to toss him but give him the opportunity to take care of you and not be tossed. Good luck
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 44
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Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 4:52:07 AM
He seems interested because he saw you 3 times. But, like too many men he jerks off too much, so he has no desire to be with you or anyone. A very sad truth and fact, I know. You have to , bluntly tell him not to jerk off for 24 hours before he sees you again. I know this is difficult to tell a man, but you must say this to him. He, as most men may not be able to break away from their jerk off habit. Give it a try and tell him this.
 dondea
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 45
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Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 5:55:19 AM
Good post sauder!!!


 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 46
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 6:46:06 AM
Is he just waiting for me to show up naked


Well, just in case he isn't making a move....my address is at 1324, etc etc .....
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 47
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 7:14:02 AM
You could ask him about what should be our next move, do you want to take this to the next level? Good communications is the key to a good relationship.

But to speculate in the absence of more info.

He is a gentleman and shy.

He is a gentleman and has another relationship and isn't sure which way to go. Maybe he is dating someone else, having sex, and doesn't want to go to bed with you and eventually hurt your feelings but hasn't decided which way to commit.

If you push him into bed I am pretty sure he will go, but you won't find out why he isn't being more aggressive now.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 48
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 7:19:06 AM
cat*eyes, you must meet a lot of jerk offs.
 onceagain57
Joined: 11/25/2011
Msg: 49
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 8:39:53 AM
Are ya using deodorant!?!?.....naaaaa...maybe hes just got some respect and maybe YOU as people aughta talk in private about expectations....
 Angelsbigheart
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 50
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Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 10:25:07 AM

He's pretty proper and reserved when we're together. Kind of quiet, although we talk and laugh and are comfortable with each other. He's a gentleman. He gets close to me and compliments me and all that...but he hasn't really overtly made a move of any kind in person. He's made reference's to sex through IM/texts...and we've talked sexual likes/dislikes via IM. He kind of hints at sex, but more in a joking, *wink wink* way.


You've answered your own question!! HE'S A GENTLEMAN!!!

I don't understand what the 'rush' is if you are enjoying each other and there is mutual interest, it's only been a month - ENJOY IT!! It's called GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE before becoming intimate??

I know that may sound like an unfamiliar thing in today's day and age, but OMG I wish there were more guys like him out there!! If you mess it up... send him my way!! (JK of course, I wish you only the best!! )

Give it some time and if you get to a point where you HAVE to have it... just make it completely obvious with the next KISS you guys share (it's not a hard thing to do!!)!! There is nothing that says that YOU can't be the one to give the green light and put your foot on the gas peddle!!

 coyotefeller
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 51
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 6:33:32 PM
Nice to see some "green" flags and "green" lights
for a change!
....usually it's ....he looked at me wrong...Red Flag!
...he brushed up against me and smiled ....Red Flag!
....invited me in to his place ....Red Flag!
....he said Hello....Red Flag !

Maybe 2012 will make more sense ....here
in the forums !
 southernbabe03
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 52
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 6:40:51 PM
OP,
All I can say is I wish I could meet a man who wanted to spend time with me without trying to jump me!
That is all I meet, men interested in sex, not me!
Count your blessings and wait it out.
If nothing ever happens and you have hinted, pushed and tried to get him to notice you, then tell him you are tired of waiting for something to happen.
You will find out soon enough!
 captnjimbo
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 53
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Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/10/2012 8:20:11 PM
Seems like you're asking the wrong people. It would make more sense to talk this over with him. Honest open communication is the way to get the flames burning brightly. He most probably is into you, respects you, respects himself, thinks that you're quite a catch, may have been hurt in the past, trying to make up his mind how far he wants this to go. So talk to him.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 54
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Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/11/2012 9:39:40 PM


Wow! I spent more time in the past WEEK with my 1/4 sheet finishing sander.
Doesn't that hurt?


Abelian:

I think you be confusing a finish sander with a belt sander.
See, the thing about the finish sander is the gentle vibrations. 5 speeds, infinitely variable, 1/4 horse -- sure beat the heck out of a stock Hitachi (wand): weak motor, only two speeds. and no place to attach sand paper.

TK
[and women wonder why some men enjoy their shop time so much]
 kasandroid
Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 55
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/11/2012 11:52:00 PM
Well OP here's a better more important question:

You just got out of a ten year relationship and are newly single, so please do tell, why are you are looking to jump into another relationship so soon?

What about enjoying some new found freedom for a while?

Maybe, just maybe, he doesn't want to seal the deal oh so fast.......................
 Ratsrule
Joined: 9/22/2011
Msg: 56
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Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/12/2012 12:59:08 PM

How to seduce a man...hmmmm
*Dress for the occasion. Wear something that shows some cleavage. Wear something that shows plenty of leg. Then, at some point, during your next date, tell him you wore __________ <------- fill in the blank colored bra and panties for him.
*Next time you're texting or on the phone with him scheduling your next date. Just ask, "can tonight be the night baby? you know...THE night?"
* Think of Rose and Jack in the Titanic car scene. She said " Put your hands on me Jack". That's all the prodding he needed. He did the 'prodding' after that.
*When you both get home, tell him "damn this bra is so uncomfortable." and take it off, with your shirt still on...you know that trick we ladies have with sliding the straps down our arms and unhooking it ourselve while still dressed. Then start taking off those earrings one at a time, while staring at him. Eye contact does wonders.
If none of these options makes him frisky...then it's safe to assume he has been listening to Barry Manilow cd's. lol.


Brilliant this is SO true and made me laugh SO hard thinking about the other threads that are in the forum about women never doing the chasing/making a move blah blah blah.... if men don't see that as chasing they'll never understand a woman.

Anyway back on topic. OP I agree with being a bit more suggestive - but not with the ones saying just jump him. Only cos when i've just jumped someone they have said just bye bye a few f*cks later and you don't want that. Plus- theres a very good chance that he really is just a gentleman and trying to do what he thinks YOU want.

So I suggest the sexy (not slutty) outft - the eye contact, and perhaps a gentle reminder of "you said you wanted to kiss me again"... and see what happens,

If he does not take the hint then there is a certain point where you have to question how interested he is or not. I don't think sex should be what's laid on the lines- sounded to me like the only time you kissed it was you that initiated. Suggest (strongly) that he initiates a kiss and that no bad will come from that, and see from there whether some genuine passion is displayed. Rather than just obendience
 BrookfieldGentlemanTom
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 57
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/22/2012 12:01:56 PM

If none of these options makes him frisky...then it's safe to assume he has been listening to Barry Manilow cd's. lol



i was visiting a married couple that i was good friends with. they asked me if i had been to any good concerts lately and i said, "yeah, i was at the Motley Crue/Poison concert in Youngstown at the Covelli Center."

i was ABOUT TO SAY, "Barry Manilow's coming soon but i'm not going to see him cause i'm NOT gay".
my buddy's wife said, "we got Barry Manilow tickets and we can't wait to see him!!!"

THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.
ALMOST HAD FOOT IN MOUTH DISEASE!!
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 58
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Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/23/2012 2:04:16 AM
Have to admit this topic has been quite amusing

Three dates in an entire month, two of which were social events and youre complaining he hasnt grabbed your funbags and tried to bump uglies with you yet?

Jeez, take a breath

On the flip side, if he HAD tried and it had then turned out that you werent well suited it would have been another one of those "he was ONLY after sex" things no doubt (sigh)

If you want to have sex with him then be clear about that. Dont parade a series of hints out there and then complain when he doesnt pick up on them or isnt totally sure how to read them

Women the world over have a tendency to assume a hint is "obvious" when its only obvious to them, whilst others interact in a way that is either accidentally or deliberately "suggestive" where theres no desire for intimacy

The former example seems like the one you are experiencing now. But the second is where sexual harassment or even sexual assault accusations come from.

As its pretty much unheard of for women to be accused of the latter, and equally rare for men to become huffy and indignant about a minor missunderstanding of signals then if you do like this bloke it would make sense for you to make the first move, and in a way that that cant be misread in a variety of different ways like, I dont know. Actually using direct and specific words for example?

After all, if youre old enough to be ****ing someone surely you should ALSO be grown up enough to be able to talk to that same person ABOUT ****ing them too?

This really just seems to be yet another example where the glaringly obvious lack of mind reading ability within the human race has slipped by unnoticed

You want him to proceed, he isnt proceeding. But rather than just talking about what you both want, what time frames, what conditions etc you take the approach of subtlety and then talk to strangers about why your hinting isnt having the desired effect?????

Genuis!

Women (depite what they think) can very often send out extremely confusing and mixed messages even when they think theyre being "obvious"

Infact one womans idea of "suggestive" or "obvious" can be quite staid and reserved compared to other women

Soo what YOU think is "obvious" could seem nothing more than some playful banter to a man who knows or works with more direct or less subtle women.

Plus lets face it, three meets with two of them being in social settings is barely any time together at all in any real sense. Your were still practically strangers by any real measure
 facess
Joined: 11/17/2011
Msg: 59
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/23/2012 4:37:06 AM
Sounds like he's a bit different from the men you're use to meeting [he's a gentlemen] and you're to Hot-to-Trot to appreciate the difference.
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 60
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/23/2012 7:35:15 AM
Dam women make the first move.
 Milnoc514
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 61
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 1/23/2012 8:48:17 AM
Get him to your place or his, put on some slow music, dance close together, then after a while slowly start undressing him.

At the same time, have him undress you. You might need to guide him a bit. He sounds extremely shy.

Try to get through all of that along with the sex without saying a single word to each other. You'll both remember this moment for the rest of your lives!
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 62
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Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:09:10 AM
I guess a woman complaining a man DOESNT want to **** her makes a bit of a change from ones complaining about men that do or have
 Pomose
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 63
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:33:40 PM
Like everyone else said sounds like the guy is just shy, What's wrong with a woman making the first move?????
 AngelofHonesty
Joined: 1/4/2012
Msg: 64
Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 2/22/2012 4:50:32 PM
Maybe you are the girl that's talking too much..LOL, ok there's this other thread by a guy that indicates after 3 dates he's about to give her the boot because she has a big ass mouth that goes on and on...hope you aren't that girl!

Anyways women are always saying that men are only after SEX and should get to know her a little better, now you are wanting this guy to make a quick move after 3 dates(not that there's anything wrong with this, just can be confusing to men), if you want to sleep with him now just take the initiative and jump his bones, trust me, I doubt if he knocks you off. JUST GO FOR IT!
 KingofSnuggles
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 65
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Why isn't he making a move?
Posted: 2/22/2012 5:54:03 PM

A lot of men these days grew up in single parent families, or with multiple step-parents. They've seen first hand what having a parade of men marching through a child's life can do, and do not want to be just another guy in the procession. They/we are more hesitant to initiate sexual relationships with single mothers, before we are sure of what kind of situation we are entering. It's possible to have interest in someone, and reservations at the same time. You could initiate the sex, and it may make him cross the line in his head. Though it may just make things more complicated for him, and you. I he's just someone to have fun with, then bringing the kids into the picture is ruining his fun. If you are seriously interested in him, you may have to be patient.


Excellent point - fits me to a T considering most of the women my age these days are single parents or seems like most.



And this has what to do with it?? REALLY?? I can tell you that my being a single Mom has never once interfered with a man wanting to get intimate with me in any way.
I will say that I don't introduce any man into my child's life unless I feel that it is developing into a serious relationship but I think you are WAY off with that BS posted up there.


Then you're finding the Atypical men and not a man worthy of being around your children in the end. A true gentleman WOULD take the children into consideration rather than just himself and his need for physical pleasure.
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