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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > If "All the Good Ones Are Taken" .....      Home login  
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 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 31
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If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Along with the belief that "all the good ones are taken", it might be a good idea to make sure that we are actually BEING a "good one".
 marcus_biggs
Joined: 4/2/2011
Msg: 32
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/18/2011 12:27:44 PM
Though this talks of black men. I'm sure it applies on some levvel to all men



Good Black Man

Good Black Man are indeed all around us. We pass them in the streets, in the malls, and at work. Most we can't see because we don't know what a good man really looks like. He usually isn't flashy enough or rich enough to turn our heads. He might not wear a suit or push a Lexus. He might not have a body like Tyson with a Denzel face. But, as you mature, you realize it's better to find someone who's got your back rather than someone who turns your head.

A good man doesn't agree wholeheartedly with everything you say. He doesn't just tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite. He doesn't declare how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere, etc..., he is (he won't have to because it shows). He has his own opinions and yours may clash, but he doesn't have to degrade you to prove he's right. He even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.


A good man is not going to meet every item on your checklist. He is human with frailties and faults mixed in with all of his wonderful, strong attributes. He needs your love and respect. He needs to feel that you don't live to catch him doing something wrong so you can declare, "Aha! I knew you were a dog!"


A good man isn't insecure about his woman having great achievements. In fact, he is her number one supporter and becomes disappointed with her when she begins to lose herself, especially for the sake of not hurting his feelings, or only wanting to make him happy. His happiness comes with seeing her excel in her dreams and accomplishing her goals. For as she excels and is exalted, a good woman will bring her good man right along with her.

A good man doesn't necessarily give you a huge birthday or Valentine's gift. He shows his love in the ways that are comfortable to him. Don't judge him by TV standards. No one is really living a fairy tale. You'll miss out on your own fairy tale by buying into the myth that our men are no good. It's just not true.


A good black man is a man of his word. He says what he means and means what he says. His word is his bond. He never leaves you wondering if he is going to call or show up - he is dependable. A good black man has a love and a heart for his maker; as it grows so will his relationship and love with and for you grow. Our beautiful black men we salute you, appreciate you and thank you for who you are and all you've done.
by TRAVIS RICHARDSON
 moonwalkerman
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 33
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/18/2011 2:40:01 PM
The hard truth is that if you are single for an extended period of time and are unable to find a partner, there is definitely something wrong with you. Take a good, hard look at yourself, and you will find that this is what it comes down to. It is somewhat similar to being unemployed for a very long time. You can blame everything from the economy to the president, but it always comes down to YOU. You are lacking something, and that is why you cannot find a job, and why employers do not want to hire you.
 UniquelyPassionateCandy
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 34
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/18/2011 4:38:59 PM
There is a major flaw in that statement....cause I know I am a good one and I am not taken...

Those are just a bunch of words ...If you believe them, then your chances of finding somebody have just decreased because you believe there are no good ones out there...Me, I know there are good ones out there..
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 35
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/18/2011 4:49:45 PM

Okay, so we've all heard this cliche said over and over again. Does this mean that anyone and everyone in a relationship are better relationship-material than the anyone else who is single?

I've never been one to use this line and find it especially ironic when it comes from the mouths of other single people who don't realize that when they say this, in a roundabout way they are saying that they are not "the good ones" since they themselves aren't taken.

Your thoughts?


I agree, even though I do use the saying myself because the ones I want are usually taken. If they aren't taken, they want to be "just friends". So, from now on I'll say that "None of the good ones are interested in me". Wait, that sounds pretty self-loathing too.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 36
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/18/2011 6:20:25 PM

The hard truth is that if you are single for an extended period of time and are unable to find a partner, there is definitely something wrong with you. Take a good, hard look at yourself, and you will find that this is what it comes down to.


I knew there was something wrong with me. I spend too much time looking hard at myself and I still cannot figure it out. Maybe that is what is wrong with me, I spend too much time trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I just don't have the stomach to lower my standards.

Apparently I'm not alone though. There are dating websites like this one for a reason.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 37
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/18/2011 6:56:47 PM
With all the news broadcasting successful people as those who lie, and steal, and cheat; as well as who charge into others worlds to bomb them, and make them change their lives, it's a bit non-surprising that we are looking at these as the ones to bag.

Everyone wants a stockbroker.


 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 38
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/19/2011 5:08:53 AM
Perception and belief,,,,all relative to the ages of those doing the looking. Get 20 people together and throw a person in front of them for five minutes. Then pull these 20 people aside and ask them who and what they just saw. You'd be surprised what kind of replies you would get. Well, maybe,you wouldn't be surprised at all.

The answers would be all over the road map. Some would call the person "good", others, not so much. Our personal histories create beliefs and prejudices that even we sometimes will not admit. That is the sad part of getting a little older. That is, unless you can actually ADMIT you have these prejudices,and understand the reasoning for your beliefs.

I will also agree with Igor. It's funny how people can see a person in a situation, and all of a sudden he/she is a "better" person for it.Or,,,on the other hand, NOT a good person. Think about what some believe about a person that has NEVER been married,but is past the age of 40????? No,,,I mean,,,,,really THINK about it. Those beliefs and prejudices didn't just "happen".
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 42
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/22/2011 1:24:25 PM
All the "good ones' that I know of are taken. It isn't always easy to get out and meet them, so they make websites like this. When you come onto a website like this, you end up seeing hundreds of people who might be "good ones".
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 43
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If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/22/2011 3:08:26 PM
Not all the "good ones" are taken for the same reason not all the good apples are taken at any given time; some apples (and people) reach their peak at different times.

And sometimes when the "good ones" are taken, they don't stay taken. Couples break up all the times, and not necessarily because both are bad. In fact, both may be "good ones" for some people, just not for each other. Other times, great relationships end because one or the other dies, or moves far away, or some other reason that has nothing to do with how good they are for each other; after a suitable period of readjustment to singlehood, these "good ones" become available.

Are the majority of "good ones" taken at any point during adulthood? Well, of course. Marriage and relationships are the desired situations for most of us, being single is not. But most of the "bad ones" are probably taken too, at any given time; somehow they make their relationships work, at least for awhile. A "good one" may be in a relationship with a "bad one" and just isn't willing or ready to leave yet. And a person who is good for you might not be good for someone else; love and relationships are not one-size-fits-all.

Stay optimistic, make sure your standards for choosing a "good one" are focused on the proper characteristics, and keep looking; it's a target-rich environment, you just have to be willing to throw back the ones you don't want.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 46
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/22/2011 4:30:01 PM

I don't believe that is true. Many people stay together for reasons other than love. For family, money, life style.
Some people choose to go it alone instead. The fact someone is taken, means nothing, as we all know what goes on behind closed doors is unknown. Some just hide the bad things. It doesn't mean because they are "with" someone that it is a good person or that they are a good person.


This post encourages people to go out and hit on the taken ones.
 DarthPhoenix
Joined: 9/5/2010
Msg: 48
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If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/29/2011 11:10:28 AM
where does that leave you and me (aka: the single ppl)??

Okay, so we've all heard this cliche said over and over again. Does this mean that anyone and everyone in a relationship are better relationship-material than the anyone else who is single?

I've never been one to use this line and find it especially ironic when it comes from the mouths of other single people who don't realize that when they say this, in a roundabout way they are saying that they are not "the good ones" since they themselves aren't taken.

All The Good Ones aren't taken, THEY ARE JUST THE ONES YOU DONT WANT!!!
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 50
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/29/2011 11:54:50 AM
There are a lot of good one that are not taken. People see so many red flags when looking at the ones who do not follow society's norm (married by a certain age, have children, certain appearance and/or job and possessions, etc.) If a person has not been married by a certain age or had a really long relationship or lived with someone than they are worthless? This amazes me, but then I suppose I am odd in that I see it as a red flag if a man has had long relationships with several women and did not marry any of them.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 53
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/29/2011 12:44:04 PM
"Good ones" is the same kind of subjective term as "attractive", "classy" , "good hearted" (never heard that used till POF), "great in bed", and my VERY favorite overused nonsense term : "normal" !

They each can mean completely different things to different people - and usually do.

Besides the idea that generalizations rarely prove to be solid, when referring to humans !

I wouldn't place great credence in it one way or the other .
 RedElectric
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 54
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/29/2011 12:49:11 PM
i think we are the smart ones!!

too many people get into unfulfilling relationships for the wrong reasons.

apparently, i would rather be single than settle. *shrug* no ones problem but my own!
 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 56
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/29/2011 7:33:32 PM
I use the phrase occasionally -- usually with my married friends' husbands when they're helping me out with something like packing or checking out the car's strange rattle. I flirt and as they're expounding on which mechanic I should go to or hanging a towel rack for me, I give a big, regretful sigh and "All the good ones - like you - are taken." Most of them enjoy it and laugh.

As a platitude... well, it says nothing, means nothing.
 RunningFool7
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 57
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/29/2011 8:58:21 PM
I disagree with that saying. I'm willing to bet most people out there are pretty good people. They're just not the RIGHT person for us.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 59
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/29/2011 9:46:59 PM
Of course all the good ones are taken.. With all the single people out there that know exactly what they want and looking for.. Im sure they would know a good person if they seen one and the good people would have a line out side the door ... As no one has a line out side the door, That tells us there are no good ones left. Well maybe we just cant recognize a good one when we see them. Everyone seems to complain about it. It sure seems that people expect the good ones to just show up at the door with a sign.. Need to get out there and give people a chance to see if they are the good ones for you or not.
 kindheart9
Joined: 12/23/2010
Msg: 61
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 1/9/2012 1:59:22 PM
All the good guys are not taken, they just dont want to be used any longer. It seems like the women out there now are looking to steal or take what they can, abuse and mentally beat down the guy because they know they can get away with it in court. Are there good guys out there you bet, if they are like me , I have decided that I would rather be alone and lonely then put up with a woman thats always looking to take advantage of the man. I know there has to be good women out there the problem is you cant tell by looking at someone who is a good person and who is the bad person. I also find women need to leave what has happened in there past relationships in the past. Dont blame the new guy for what someone else has done to them.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 63
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 1/9/2012 8:40:29 PM
All the good ones are taken!? Well, shucks, I guess I better just call it quits then.


Na; you can buy em....... win em in a raffle/contest........or trade.


 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 64
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 1/9/2012 9:03:59 PM
I concur with both Igor and funk. Very accurate assesments. That logic, "the good ones are always taken" not only abounds in the dating scheme of things, but the job market as well. I've heard often about people with jobs (myself included) being approached by other employers making job offers to them. When infact, they could have a pile of resumes of eager job seekers to go through.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 66
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 1/9/2012 9:13:29 PM
what's w/ "good"?? one person's good may be my bad or vice versa...i don't care about 3 million men, 3 dozen men, or 3 men, good, bad, or otherwise,

I want the one for me, period
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 67
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 1/9/2012 9:33:41 PM
its a stupid cliche for losers....
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 68
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If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 1/9/2012 10:29:33 PM

That logic, "the good ones are always taken" not only abounds in the dating scheme of things, but the job market as well. I've heard often about people with jobs (myself included) being approached by other employers making job offers to them. When infact, they could have a pile of resumes of eager job seekers to go through.


Very true. A lot of employers today will not even consider an applicant who actually needs the job (that is, an unemployed applicant). There's been quite a lot of press about it, which has become a common thing only in recent years as the number of long-term unemployed has skyrocketed because there simply are not enough jobs for everyone.

Of course, in dating there are about equal numbers of men and women in the world, so there is no rational reason for there being 'too few' men or women to go around.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 70
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 1/11/2012 5:28:44 PM
Too message 74:
I think these people who need a huge pool of petential mates to go through before finding that so called right one, says more about that person than their potential mate. Anyone who could be that hard to please, I don't think is very realistic in general on allot of things.
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