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 eg0724
Joined: 4/19/2016
Msg: 35
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/datePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
@ InstructionalProducer
lol Sorry, I had a distance setting applied to my account.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 36
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To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 5/29/2016 3:15:24 PM

Personally, I can't stand certain accents; Midwestern (especially Michigan)

Oh come on -- a "midwestern" accent basically means no accent at all. How does Michigan have an accent? Midwestern 'accent' is just the mainstream way to talk. You must really agonizing watching movies & TV shows & news programs where most don't have an accent (aka midwestern). :)

I agree that one's accent or the voice can bring things up or down, but usually from my experience, not by much at all. I wouldn't want to make judgement calls on attractiveness to the senses by a phone call (although it could be a weeder if it's like Really Bad or something).
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 37
To look at the phone during the date or...oh, what were you saying?
Posted: 5/29/2016 5:10:17 PM
I used to know a lass with a porn-star body but a voice like Fran Drescher.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=fran+drescher&view=detail&mid=1606E12AC28236B469441606E12AC28236B46944&FORM=VIRE

I tried my best to not check her out due to her voice. at least a million times. too bad I don't know where she is, so I could practice some more.

i'd suggest, meet someone in a safe public place you wouldn't mind being at if they were unable to show up and couldn't call b/c they don't have your phone number. I don't have a cell (ie, electronic leash) so either people have to do things the old fashioned way, and actually keep to an appointment, or they blow me off and I do there what I would normally do when i'm intending to be alone.
 ginghamgal
Joined: 2/13/2016
Msg: 38
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 5/29/2016 6:35:14 PM

You are overthinking it, there isn't a science. Just as we are attracted to certain physical aesthetics, we also are turned on or off by certain vocal ranges.

Personally, I can't stand certain accents; Midwestern (especially Michigan), Bostonian, and deep Southern affects would not be voices I wish to hear for the rest of my life.


Voice / accent wouldn't be a turn off for me. Maybe unless he sounded like Steve Urkel. LOL.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 39
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To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 5/29/2016 7:30:25 PM

Oh come on -- a "midwestern" accent basically means no accent at all. How does Michigan have an accent? Midwestern 'accent' is just the mainstream way to talk. You must really agonizing watching movies & TV shows & news programs where most don't have an accent (aka midwestern). :)

I agree that one's accent or the voice can bring things up or down, but usually from my experience, not by much at all. I wouldn't want to make judgement calls on attractiveness to the senses by a phone call (although it could be a weeder if it's like Really Bad or something).


Depends on the part of the midwest, some people have those thick accents that sound nasally but lazy at the same time. Though a friend of mine who acts states that she has to learn how to speak in a midwestern accent.

Personally speaking I like hearing different accents and dialects, a particular accent doesn't turn me off nor does it necessarily turn me on. I do like it when a girl has a southern accent because I find it cute even though I'm from the south and should be use to hearing it. Really the region that doesn't sound like it has an accent is the Pacific Northwest.
 InstructionalProducer
Joined: 7/28/2015
Msg: 40
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 5/29/2016 7:44:29 PM
Many people from Michigan have a Canadian affect where they speak from their nose. Living in Florida, I can also tell you that 90% of Midwesterners I've met have exhibited a superiority complex, which isn't attractive AT ALL.

I'm from Richmond, VA, so I saw the entire gamut of I-95 influence growing up. I picked up an NY affect myself.

Self promotion time, lol. This is the intro from a new album I'm working on, if you can find ANY accent, congrats!

https://soundcloud.com/matt-bell-44/new-intro-rough-no-ad-libs
 EatLiftLaugh
Joined: 5/18/2016
Msg: 41
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 5/31/2016 5:17:45 AM
I say go for the meet asap. Sometimes it's a good idea to just "voice verify" to make sure they are who they say they are, depending where you live like in Chicago there are people looking to rob people etc. so you go to meet the "pretty girl" and it's a gang of thugs that robs you by gunpoint etc.

So:

1. Look to meet quickly, the more time you spend on the phone, the more you make up a person in your head that really ISN'T.

2. Don't waste your time talking on the phone to someone for days and weeks - then you meet them, there's no chemistry and you've burnt a LOT of time.

3. Voice verify if you feel you need to, it never hurts. Just be like "Hey, can we chat really quick so we can talk about where we can meet up?" - that might make some uncomfortable, go with your GUT on this one.

I can't tell you how many times I've wasted time talking to someone for weeks or months, only to have the first date/meet cancelled and they disappear, OR they end up looking nothing like their photos (OLD photos or camera angle tricks) so you were mislead.
 CountingOnMagic
Joined: 7/3/2013
Msg: 42
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To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 5/31/2016 2:02:00 PM
I learned the hard way that it's best to speak on the phone before meeting. One guy sounded like Pee Wee Herman and with another, I felt like I was out with Tony Soprano (I'm orig from NY but even I had a hard time with all the dese, dems and does). Another had a French accent so thick, I could barely understand him. He said nothing about his accent on his profile. I know some swoon for that but I had to pass.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 43
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To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 5/31/2016 3:40:43 PM

Many people from Michigan have a Canadian affect where they speak from their nose.

Wow, interesting. I've never noticed. It's southern Illinois, Indiana, and Ohio will begin to have some southern drawl, and some people out in the country in southern MI will have a bit of a redneck/country accent... in the upper sections of Ill, Ind, and Ohio and the generally city parts of MI -- just general midwest like you hear on TV, from my ears.

I say go for the meet asap.

I agree. Not to push it, but yeah -- don't drag things out at all.

Voice verify if you feel you need to, it never hurts. Just be like "Hey, can we chat really quick so we can talk about where we can meet up?" - that might make some uncomfortable, go with your GUT on this one.

Where it may make someone feel uncomfortable, is where it can hurt your chances. Personally, I would say don't go out of your way to reach to talk on the phone with them, just let it be part of it's natural course where it neatly fits. One can ask if they'd like to get together some time, and "here's my # if you'd like to text instead; if not, that's fine too"... then after texting if that's the case, and you're both texting a ton on a specific subject, namely where/when to meet up -- sure, throw out the suggestion to maybe talk voice.
 Cindi_loo
Joined: 11/3/2015
Msg: 44
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/1/2016 12:29:46 PM
I get very shy on the phone if it's someone I don't know that well and have no connection with yet. I am okay texting until we meet, or texting until we have a connection and then calling.
 SayAnything82
Joined: 5/25/2016
Msg: 45
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/2/2016 5:22:26 AM
I say talk on the phone, but these Millennials are glued to their phones and would rather send 3 word texts.
I can't even log on to my phone to respond to a message. I have to do it on my laptop or desktop just out of habit.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 46
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/2/2016 5:45:59 AM
If talking on the phone makes you nervous how are you going to be when you meet in person?
Would never meet someone I had not had a phone convo with.
I am Canadian.. I don't talk throu my nose/
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 47
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/2/2016 6:59:48 AM
I've argued with some Canadians here who were talking thru their ass. :) I used to work with a lad, there would be awkward periods of silence on the phone yet in person, we'd riff on everything going on around us. I guess an initial phone convo is "proof of life" that HotKitty123 really isn't a 15yr old wanker.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 48
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/2/2016 7:18:29 AM

I guess an initial phone convo is "proof of life" that HotKitty123 really isn't a 15yr old wanker.


For the most part, that's the only thing a phone conversation can prove. A phone conversation doesn't mean the other person will look their pictures or there will be "instant chemistry" during a first date / meeting ( which is important to many people here ) among other things.
 leastman
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 49
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/20/2016 6:31:56 AM
I too think a couple of calls is important. I talked to a guy on the phone who said yeah yeah yeah after ever third word I said. In addition he made these horrible lip smacking noises that I was not going to be able to tolerate on an ongoing basis.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 50
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To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/20/2016 11:53:11 AM

Good/bad phone has never equaled good/bad date in practice. If someone wanted to call me and chat for a bit, fine, but I never put a lot of stock in or required a phone call before meeting. Many women I intersected with didn't like to talk on the phone or just wanted to get on with actually meeting.

True, it's not an equalizer. And most women (and men I'm sure) are going to want to maybe text via POF or via real phone # texting... and meet when mutually available.

If one wants to be temporary pen-pals before meeting (the apprehensive) -- sure, talking on the phone is very understandable and I'd promote it. Although, I look down on those whose gear is being in pen-pal mode to begin with as some (false) sense of security.

I too think a couple of calls is important.

A couple of calls is important? Really? :)

I talked to a guy on the phone who said yeah yeah yeah after ever third word I said. In addition he made these horrible lip smacking noises that I was not going to be able to tolerate on an ongoing basis.

First, you don't need a couple calls for that. Second, the chances of running into something like that that would ewww/turn-off most people isn't going to be common. In the end, it's about not dragging things out on meeting them. So when he brings up the notion of getting together some time, just say that you may be up for that -- give me a call (#) and we can go from there... and when he calls and you two talk and nothing wacky-weird like that exists (which most of the time it won't) -- then angle things on where to meet in the near future.

All in all though, I don't think it's necessary. But if one can squeeze in a quick call when on the cusp of setting up a date, and make it smoothly flow just the same as if you're exchanging messages, then that's cool. But all in all, it's what they are in person -- which after getting an idea about them communicating textually, that's about all you'll need.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 51
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/20/2016 2:57:07 PM

(Msg 51): I too think a couple of calls is important.


A couple of phone calls? What do you need to know that would require two phone calls to decide if you want to meet someone in person and spend a half hour or so over a coffee or drink? If after the first phone call, a guy asks you to meet in person, are you going to tell him that he hasn't passed all of your tests yet, and it will require one more phone call/interview for you to decide? I would quickly disappear if someone insisted on conducting multiple phone interviews/interrogations before deciding on a short face-to-face meet. Dating should not turn into a job interview.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 52
To yak or not to yak first
Posted: 6/21/2016 6:25:39 AM
One phone call before the date is the way to go........ it's a better form of communication (you get voice inflection), and it's easier to set a date/meet.

If you are concerned about giving out your number, you can always ignore or block calls, get a disposable phone, or google number.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 53
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/21/2016 7:18:21 AM
A question about the ancient device known as a land line phone, which a lot of people still use. I recall that for an additional fee, a person could a restricted phone line, which means the phone number didn't show up in a phone book-which is redundant now-and the number didn't appear on phones that show caller ID. Would the number still be hidden if calling to a cell phone, and would the number not be traceable if doing a reverse number search? (I have no idea why it's called a reverse search, since you don't type in the phone number in reverse order.) If the number doesn't appear on cell phones and is not traceable on the internet, that might be a cheaper alternative for people who still use a land line phone instead of some other method of hiding the number.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 54
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/21/2016 7:29:06 AM
I don't answer phone calls from blocked numbers. I also don't think it should be one sided. ( In terms of they have my number. But I can't have theirs. ) If someone insisted on a phone call prior to a date / meeting and didn't want to give their number, buying a cheap prepaid phone is probably their best option.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 55
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To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/21/2016 3:39:06 PM

(I have no idea why it's called a reverse search, since you don't type in the phone number in reverse order.)


You're over 60 years old, can't believe I have to say this.....
A Standard Phone Directory listed people/ companies, by Name... (John/Jane Smith or Acme Widget Company)
This was the Standard White/Yellow Pages, they provided for Free...

They also made a Reverse Directory, that listed by Number...... You had to pay for these.....
The only people that bought them, had a specific need for one......
That's why it's called a Reverse Lookup....
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 56
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/24/2016 11:06:01 AM
.
A question about the ancient device known as a land line phone, which a lot of people still use. I recall that for an additional fee, a person could a restricted phone line, which means the phone number didn't show up in a phone book-which is redundant now-and the number didn't appear on phones that show caller ID. Would the number still be hidden if calling to a cell phone, and would the number not be traceable if doing a reverse number search? (I have no idea why it's called a reverse search, since you don't type in the phone number in reverse order.) If the number doesn't appear on cell phones and is not traceable on the internet, that might be a cheaper alternative for people who still use a land line phone instead of some other method of hiding the number..


- That's a good Idea. I do have a restricted land line and called a friend, and she referred to it as a "weird number", lol - so I think you are right.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 57
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To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 6/24/2016 11:11:36 PM
For me one phone call would suffice. I just need to hear the tone of his voice, the way he speaks in general
to form some sort of opinion and then I would go ahead and arrange a physical meet or not.
 sweetmama482
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 58
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To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 7/10/2016 1:26:38 PM
I'm one that likes to yahoo mess... before a meet and exchange #'s.
my past experience there were three men that I was glad I spoke on
the phone first cause one would only call me from his job, then I called
him at 7pm and his voice was very low and short conversation. Made me
feel he was married. Two others went psyco on me and became abusive,
cuz they had a bad day one we didn't even got to a meet and greet. Another
one called me a few timewhen he was drunk. So yes
I like to text via yahoo then a phone call. That's just me
 U21984
Joined: 4/7/2016
Msg: 59
To talk or not to talk on the phone before meeting up/date
Posted: 7/10/2016 2:40:56 PM
Sweetmama, if I were you I would **only** communicate by phone.
Your English is almost indecipherable! lolol
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