Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't hav      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 63
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

I don't have the money". I was hurt by that


gold digger.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 64
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/25/2011 6:57:06 PM
How many women here who are whining and freaking out because the guy didn't buy her a gift spent the day church celebrating the birth of Christ? Does anybody realize that Christmas is a Christian holiday? How is buying people crap related to this? Does the Bible say that you must give your money to stores and to the Church of Hallmark? Most people have been brainwashed to believe that Walmart and jewelry stores are temples of worship and cards are the new testament and not donating generously to these temples of retail Gods will be a ticket straight to Hell. What happens if a person is an atheist or practices a a non-Christian faith? Should they take part in this retail lunacy? Maybe the OP's boyfriend is a non-believer and is finally tired of playing a game he doesn't support.

Phew. Now that I finished my rant, back to page 1. There isn't enough detail by the OP to say how this came about and if they discussed the issue of gift giving on Hallmark Holidays and see if there was a compromise. Also, we're just hearing her version-after 2.5 years all of a sudden it's an issue, which seems a little strange. It doesn't seem to be money related. That was just an excuse.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 67
Christmas
Posted: 12/25/2011 7:26:21 PM
I could pick the OP apart, with her profile(which has changed), with her joining the site date, and with her comment about a boyfriend of 2 and a half years. (it don't add up,no matter what math I use,sorry dear)

My best present this year came in the form of seeing someone I haven't seen in 4 months. Just time spent with her today(thou she is sicker than a dog) has made everything,again, much more clearer for me.

OP,,,does your so-called "boyfriend's" actions make anything any clearer for you???? Did you get spend time with him today, or did something else happen???? How about last year???? What kinda "stuff" did ya get from him???? Too many variables, and only one side of the story here, to start talking about all the potential different scenarios.

Now,I'm gonna get ready for a nap and get myself a nog. Merry Christmas all.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 68
Christmas
Posted: 12/25/2011 7:27:37 PM

" Let's not exchange bodily fluids this year, my vagina just dried up "
This really is the winning response,imo


Of course. Getting revenge using a woman's vagina as a weapon will totally solve their problems. That will make them live happily ever after-but not with each other.
 lancersdad
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 71
view profile
History
Christmas
Posted: 12/25/2011 7:56:43 PM
Aristan Law says you should be looking for someone else......
and you say you are not looking for someone else... Hmmmm.... Artistan says move on... you're worth more or may find someone either more suitable or more giving in the holiday seasons... You say you'd rather stay in that dissatisfied relationship ... cause you LOVE him... Really not a suprise...
How about a different thought.... How about you quit calling him, quit going over to his house to make him dinner and clean his house... while he sits on the couch watchng those games on the weekend... how about you go on line and find some meet up groups in your area, directed towards some new interest you may participate in ... while mr perfect is watching his games and hanging out with his buddies.... How about you move on emotionally to a point where some interesting man would be inclined to start a converstaion and direct some real interest in you. Cause right now... You have this boyfriend... you don't want to leave... and spend time on POF wading in the stream... he has to know you are here... if he's testing you he's failing miserbly... if you are testing him, waiting for that ulitmatem... you have failed miserably... and anyone supporting what is going on in your life who preports to care just a little bit about you... is blowing smoke in your face....
Being just a pretty sharp normal thinking guy, who is not interested in taking advantage of you, capitalizing on your ineptness, interested in any way in stealing you out from under a relationship you are CLEARLY currently in and dis satisfied with, I would say.... Leave him hanging dry till he starts calling you as he use to when he thought your relationship had value, take that suitcase to the roof of the building you live in, unzip it and empty all that baggage off the roof into the empty abyss we call your old life.... and start anew... And welcome..... My name is Lance. There are lots of interesting well meaning men who will feel you might well be worth the investment of time in their lives to get to know you.... Read my profile to see how a man treats a woman in a relationship.... If you return to dating men who treat you as though you have no value in a relationship.... that would be a pattern in your life you have to address professionally...
 lancersdad
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 72
view profile
History
Christmas
Posted: 12/25/2011 8:21:41 PM
Hey sun devil...
What are you being so kind and understanding about? You laid it out because you did your research.... 2.5 years in a relationship... and on POF.... Personally nothing quite says end of a relationship like finding your girlfriend on POF sharing the fact that he's so cheap he let her know ahead of time he wasn't getting her anything for christmas... With no one else in her life ...... for 2.5 years... you think she was cuddling up with him on christmas eve.... Or all alone???? And where is she tonight?
How uncomfortable a relationship and life... anyone see this as a head case???
Man up sun devil... She's not your sister, not a close friend you have know for years who has tryed so hard to mantain a comittment in this relationship... She's a grown woman who would be in a relationship with YOU for 2.5 years ... and go on line behind your back , on top of taking crap about you... I mean... I KNOW... you are sharp enough to know the facts... is your life so empty that you would entertain listening to her explain this behavior... ??? Don't be cruel to her... but don't spend half a second giving her the impression that where she has chosen to be in HER life... RIGHT NOW.... makes any sense at all... ANY....
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 73
view profile
History
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/25/2011 8:49:59 PM
yeah, lets definitely involve sex in this consumerism bulshit.
that'll set the proper tone.
I can see who I would stay away from.
if you don't buy me shitt, you don't love me!
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 74
view profile
History
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/25/2011 9:16:21 PM
Sorry for profiling, but...
No money for you but plenty for his hobbies... nascar and football... Lazy.
Listing those two as his top priorities does not bode well for his type of personality. But I bet you are insanely attracted to him which is why you want to justify his actions in the most positive light.

But since you are asking how you should react to this means you are apparently half a mind to be OK with it.
And THAT's not a good sign on you.

Like most said on here... if he was a bit more thoughtful, he'd find a non-expensive way to show his affection. Gifts don't always have to cost money.

But I am betting you'll keep him anyway. So why waste people's time on here?

Sorry, just had to be honest.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 75
view profile
History
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/25/2011 9:19:28 PM
I used to be more positive on these things but I have learned to call things as they are. Some on here will comfort you and say "you deserve better". You know what? You probably deserve exactly what you are getting with the type of man you choose to be with.

 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 77
view profile
History
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/26/2011 12:12:08 AM
Guess what I want for Christmas?.....an azz whoppin from a whole bunch of women....and I know just how to get one!

I think the poor guy just ran out of room for his ugly tie and cheap shaving lotion collection.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 78
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/26/2011 3:06:56 AM

My question is how should have I responded to that?


"All those dinners at Taco Bell over the years is enough darlin"
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 79
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/26/2011 4:12:41 AM
he;s not ur b/f...he's ur fwb.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 80
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/26/2011 5:05:13 AM

My boyfriend of 2.5 years says to me "let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money". I was hurt by that. He has money to put into football pools during football season and has the money to go to a NASCAR race every year. My question is how should have I responded to that?



I'm not really sure how you should respond since I'm not really concerned with holidays, meaning only "kids" should be upset about not getting gifts.

If you are unhappy about not exchanging gifts on time when the holidays roll around find someone who has the "money" to do it then. That's the only solution if it bothers you so much.
 Monica417
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 81
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/26/2011 5:56:06 AM
HUMPH! I find it annoying when the OP doesn't come back and answer questions we may ask to get some clarity on the situation they post about...That's all I have to say.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 82
view profile
History
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/26/2011 6:01:36 AM
Maybe he was just winding her up so her present would be a bigger surprise

So her pouty spoiled princess ass is in a handbasket now and shes too embarassed to come back?

Stranger things have happened
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 83
view profile
History
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/26/2011 6:57:06 AM
Waiting for the update on this thread...oh, the suspense!
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 85
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/26/2011 7:49:21 AM
I hope the OP comes back with an update...

Myself, I would have suggested to the BF that they do something together to make a memory of the holiday. There are lots of free things to do in any city.

There are very few gifts that I've received over the years that I specifically remember, but I do remember in detail many Christmases spent with people I care about. Seems like the best times weren't about the gifts of "things" at all, but the gift of time spent with folks.

The OP's boyfriend may be a decent guy but "gift-challenged" as many people are...and thinks that he has to spend the big bucks on a significant gift or gifts, when that may not be true at all. His imagination may not extend beyond "things" to the gifts of time and experiences, so maybe he needs a little schooling on that stuff.

LOL @valenciacityx's post above
 Savona
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 86
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/26/2011 8:01:33 AM



gold digger



There are always a few nut bars in the crowd. How can expecting to exchangebchristmas with an over 2 year boyfriend equate to gold digger.

Oh well your hate of women does seem to rear its ugly head at the wildest times.

OP for me it I'm too much trouble to shop for at Christmas then I know he isn't so into me. I would think oh Christmas just another day then I'm just an other girlfriend. Nothing special.

I swear if that was the case after dating for a few yearssex wouldn't be the only thing he would be without. I would 100% move on. No turning back.

But that is just little old gold digger me.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 87
view profile
History
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/26/2011 8:11:30 AM
At least he said no gifts! Dated a man a few years ago, he kept mentioning (over and over) what he wanted for Christmas. Totalled about $200.00.
Know what he got me? A fake gold used necklace from the thrift store.(He had a good income).
I gave most of his gifts to my son. He spent months complaining to everyone that I didn't give him what he asked for.
Maybe he was a "Golddigger?"
 ShadowschildA
Joined: 10/17/2011
Msg: 90
Christmas
Posted: 12/27/2011 7:32:11 AM
Sounds like your BF of 2.5 years is slowly letting you go.
Whatever you did to him im guessing you probably deserved this.
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 91
Christmas
Posted: 12/27/2011 11:37:32 AM
Depends. Christmas is just a scam that the organs of commerce have concocted to get people to spend money they don't have. It's all about capitalism and driving the economy. I haven't bought Christmas presents for anybody in years, and I dare anybody to buy them for me. The question is then, how often does he buy gifts for you the rest of the year. If he is stingy year round, that could be a problem. Just because I don't have money in December, doesn't mean I don't have money, in say, April when I get my income tax check.
 Sparkledustpajamas
Joined: 12/3/2011
Msg: 92
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/27/2011 12:24:18 PM
I would not buy him a present. Instead, I would surprise him. Next time he comes over, I would greet him at the door in high heels, a thong, and oven mitts. Without saying a word, I'd lead him to the dining room where all his favorite foods would be placed. I'd ask him about his day, listen without interrupting, and refrain from any negative conversation on my part. After he was well fed, I'd take him to the couch and pamper him with a long sensuous neck back and foot massage while he watched his favorite show, including football. After that, I'd take him to the bathroom where a full stock of his favorite amenities await him. I'd tell him to follow the trail of rose petals when he was finished. The petals would lead to the bed with me on top of it. If he wanted to fall asleep, I'd cuddle him in my arms, rocking him to sleep. If he wanted to make love, I'd whisper in his ear to share a naughty fantasy. I'd share one in return.

That last thing I would say before we fell asleep, is Merry Christmas, Darling.

Not only do you show him there are non monetary ways of expressing I love you on Christmas, you actually show him you do love him, very much.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 93
view profile
History
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:41:02 PM
^^^^^ I would trade all presents for a present like this! Merry effing Christmas!

From one Washingtonian to another...
 ungel
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 94
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:43:20 PM
Does he live with you? I think you should have told him, ok, but then told him how you felt. Guys tend to become complacent.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 95
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:55:27 PM
Sparkledustpajamas,
Your post made my night :-). That's a great present money can't buy, I'd definitely date someone like you and fight real hard to keep you. That's for certain
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'