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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't hav      Home login  
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 1inamillion59
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 101
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says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
you people don't know the relationship....this a long distance relationship...we live 3.5 hours away from one another. we both have tried finding jobs in each others towns, but as you all know the economy sucks. he has even tried to find a job somewhere we both could relocate to. so due to the long distance and he also has a 12 yr old daughter, we didn't get to spend Christmas together this year. so we haven't had the chance to even see each other yet. he and his daughter are coming up here this weekend. i will keep you posted
 SunDevil_in_SC
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 102
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/29/2011 5:51:42 PM
OP, you are correct ... we didn't know the relationship.

Actually, with what you have just provided, springing for a 3.5 hour trip is a pretty good gift unto itself, right? I'm not really trying to be negative ... it just sounds like the both of you are not in the greatest (or let us say ideal) of financial situations. To me (and looking into my past), those seem to be the coolest Christmases of all, since the stuff that we didn't get seemed to be more valuable than the exorbinent gifts that we got when we had plenty.

Just my perspective, and I really hope you all have a wonderful visit.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 103
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says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/29/2011 9:46:11 PM
If we had this information in the opening post, the answers probably would have been different. What did you expect based on the opening post?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 104
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says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/29/2011 10:18:55 PM
The latest posting by the op had more pertinent information than the opening post of this thread. Aggravating!

Is this even the same story? The first one was so vague and redundant.
 2pleasure2live
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 105
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says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/29/2011 11:29:08 PM
shouldnt even respond to this but here goes ... the correct answer is " thats ok hunny but we have too do something cost effective and special together so lets talk about all the possible options which are inexpensive.

whats with the dump him after 2.5 yrs , straight forward guy ,he told you hes broke. As a guy i dont know of a more inferior feeling then not being able to provide for my better half , he maybe hurting more, guys tend to keep there feelings wrapped up ducted taped in their pockets.
He may or may not have money but you had to adapt to the situation compromise and collectively resolve the situation.
2.5 yrs you knew $ is low are you up in his face for gifts... look at your profile your 60 you should have everything and a whole lot more... poor you miss 1 in a million.
I have noticed majority of fights /problems occur when the males income negatively fluctuates ................................................................thats a better topic.
 2pleasure2live
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 106
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says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/30/2011 12:09:03 AM
sparkledustpyjammas
Im in awe
 CHEATERSWIFE
Joined: 12/18/2011
Msg: 107
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 12/30/2011 4:40:17 AM
Since when r gifts the most important part of a relationship. I dont think we should put such a value on them thats what we teach our children so why cant we learn the lesson. Isnt it about what we do for each other all year long isnt it about how we take care and love each other. Can u really put such value on something as silly as a present evaluate your relationship if u think u need to but dont bale it on lack of gifts i would hope the relationship was deeper than that to start with. im not trying to be mean or say my rrlationship is so better but we do not put value on purchases and thats somethking im glad of.
 1inamillion59
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 108
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 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 109
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says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 1/6/2012 3:35:02 PM
In "my" experience, men who were into me bought me something. Those who were still looking for something/someone better bought me nothing.
If I were broke I would still find 10 bucks to buy him a pair of warm socks/candy he loved/something! Just to show him I was thinking about him and wanted to get him something.
Do we not want to buy our children/loved ones something on Christmas/birthdays? I know I do. I put a lot of thought into gifts. Make a lot of gifts. I don't think there's anything wrong with this.
Part of enjoying the season is being able to buy someone we care about something that will make them happy.
Sorry 1inamillion.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 110
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 1/6/2012 3:52:13 PM
Why are you so worried about not receiving a gift for the holidays?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 111
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says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 1/6/2012 6:20:39 PM
You said he was coming to visit. Did he? How about more specifics in your followup? Isn't the time together the most important thing in a long distance relationship? Sheesh!

My birthday is next month. I would like Sparkledustpajamas giftwrapped!
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 112
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 1/7/2012 11:21:51 AM

I don't think he cherishes you that much nor does he have an imagination and I'd reconsider your future with him

Seriously? Because of no gift on Christmas, and he even explained the situation.
 Sand Dunes
Joined: 8/19/2009
Msg: 113
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 1/7/2012 1:06:47 PM
I hated this when my ex-wife did this years ago ...for the sake of the kid's and other family members to shop for. I get love to give gifts..no matter how small. Its ok to set a limit maybe, but the idea of no gift abolutly sucks. Lets face it folks.. where all still big kids at heart and still love to get gifts, especially from your lover.
He'll do it again this year or on your birthday so you may wanna nip this in the butt. Get him a nice b-day so he gets the hint you like gift exchange part of a relationship and its still important to you.
 BlckCld73
Joined: 6/10/2010
Msg: 114
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 1/7/2012 8:28:49 PM
Let me get this straight: you're on an online DATING site and your boyfriend doesn't want to buy you a Christmas gift.....really.
 PureSentiment
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 115
Christmas
Posted: 2/11/2012 1:47:02 PM
If my partner couldn't afford a gift for me, I'd rather have no gift than a cheap senseless gift bought for no apparent reason than just that. Because he had to.

Would rather have something thoughtful, or hand made. Something that showed although he couldn't afford it, he put a lot of thought into it and it was special.

Christmas is not a chore to me, yes, it has become very commercialized. But it is the one day of the year you show someone you care and gift giving to the important people in your life is important.

So make it count!
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 116
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 2/17/2012 6:27:45 AM
I wouldn't say anything, but I'd be a little upset. Just don't get him anything. My ex didn't get me anything for Christmas, but he bought his roommate a present. So I just ignored it, and didn't get him anything either. He did regret it when his birthday came up though cause I told him why he wasn't getting anything from me..lol.
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 117
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 5/9/2012 6:54:09 PM
Christmas as much as i like it has turned into a joke,it shoudn,t be about the gift giving and more about spending time with family and good freinds,thats what is about.Oh,gifts are for the kids not adults.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 118
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 5/9/2012 7:08:33 PM
Yes.. but getting something thoughtful even if inexpensive speak volumes on the kind of person you are with. I once had a guy give me a homemade coupon book that he bound together using shoe laces and decorated with his own art work, thing like, one dinner of my choosing, one massage, Princess day (where he cooks for me and makes me drinks and just does things like that), beach day where he does all the planning and packing and carrying of things and some other creative things. It was super sweet and is still one of the best gifts I ever got.

Anyway. .my point is.. A gift can be inexpensive and thoughtful, but to just not to do one means he's not very thoughtful. I'd have a huge problem with it and i'd tell him exactly how you feel about it.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 119
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says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 5/9/2012 7:14:25 PM
It strikes me as being rather childish to whine about not getting a gift on SOMEONE ELSES BIRTHDAY!!!

It's Jesus' Birthday, not yours, or mine....and...I don't think you're a little kid...so maybe you just need to grow up a little more before you think about having "relationships".
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 120
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 11/23/2012 6:15:33 PM

In "my" experience, men who were into me bought me something. Those who were still looking for something/someone better bought me nothing.
If I were broke I would still find 10 bucks to buy him a pair of warm socks/candy he loved/something! Just to show him I was thinking about him and wanted to get him something.
Do we not want to buy our children/loved ones something on Christmas/birthdays? I know I do. I put a lot of thought into gifts. Make a lot of gifts. I don't think there's anything wrong with this.
Part of enjoying the season is being able to buy someone we care about something that will make them happy.
Sorry 1inamillion

Would love to get an update. I think he has a gambling problem!
 Hotmerlot
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 121
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 11/23/2012 6:33:36 PM
If a gift was going to cause hardship for someone that you loved, would you really want it?

Maybe the greatest gift you could give him was your love and acceptance.
 Whycee
Joined: 4/10/2010
Msg: 122
Christmas
Posted: 11/24/2012 9:02:12 AM
That's a good one
 Whycee
Joined: 4/10/2010
Msg: 123
Christmas
Posted: 11/24/2012 9:02:40 AM
If he cared and he knew you were into gift giving, he wouldn't have said that. Men who are selfish either say that or give you some last minute junk. If it is important. Dump him before you invest anymore time.
 SWEET_MAVERICK
Joined: 9/28/2013
Msg: 124
Christmas
Posted: 11/25/2013 6:40:52 AM
I hope the OP dumped him & would come back & give us an update.

It's not the money, it;'s the thought & caring that counts. Wow Xmas comes but once a year, but Scrooges are 365 days a year it seems!
 aanarchist
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 125
Christmas
Posted: 11/25/2013 7:26:54 AM
I don't believe in birthdays or holidays being a big deal but if it's something important to her then I'd at least indulge her in some way. Idk how expensive gifts have to be but I figure a deluxe trip to a planetarium is like 30 dollars per person, there's a christmas date to see the stars right there which I figure is a good enough gift.

him saying that is basically him saying he lacks sense and creativity and doesn't wanna put any effort in. Aka find someone new. Idk how you girls get together with such trashy guys lol.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'