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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't hav      Home login  
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 coderedjulia1
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 94
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I wouldn't say anything, but I'd be a little upset. Just don't get him anything. My ex didn't get me anything for Christmas, but he bought his roommate a present. So I just ignored it, and didn't get him anything either. He did regret it when his birthday came up though cause I told him why he wasn't getting anything from me..lol.
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 95
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 5/9/2012 6:54:09 PM
Christmas as much as i like it has turned into a joke,it shoudn,t be about the gift giving and more about spending time with family and good freinds,thats what is about.Oh,gifts are for the kids not adults.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 96
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 5/9/2012 7:08:33 PM
Yes.. but getting something thoughtful even if inexpensive speak volumes on the kind of person you are with. I once had a guy give me a homemade coupon book that he bound together using shoe laces and decorated with his own art work, thing like, one dinner of my choosing, one massage, Princess day (where he cooks for me and makes me drinks and just does things like that), beach day where he does all the planning and packing and carrying of things and some other creative things. It was super sweet and is still one of the best gifts I ever got.

Anyway. .my point is.. A gift can be inexpensive and thoughtful, but to just not to do one means he's not very thoughtful. I'd have a huge problem with it and i'd tell him exactly how you feel about it.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 97
view profile
History
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 5/9/2012 7:14:25 PM
It strikes me as being rather childish to whine about not getting a gift on SOMEONE ELSES BIRTHDAY!!!

It's Jesus' Birthday, not yours, or mine....and...I don't think you're a little kid...so maybe you just need to grow up a little more before you think about having "relationships".
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 98
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 11/23/2012 6:15:33 PM

In "my" experience, men who were into me bought me something. Those who were still looking for something/someone better bought me nothing.
If I were broke I would still find 10 bucks to buy him a pair of warm socks/candy he loved/something! Just to show him I was thinking about him and wanted to get him something.
Do we not want to buy our children/loved ones something on Christmas/birthdays? I know I do. I put a lot of thought into gifts. Make a lot of gifts. I don't think there's anything wrong with this.
Part of enjoying the season is being able to buy someone we care about something that will make them happy.
Sorry 1inamillion

Would love to get an update. I think he has a gambling problem!
 Hotmerlot
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 99
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 11/23/2012 6:33:36 PM
If a gift was going to cause hardship for someone that you loved, would you really want it?

Maybe the greatest gift you could give him was your love and acceptance.
 Whycee
Joined: 4/10/2010
Msg: 100
Christmas
Posted: 11/24/2012 9:02:12 AM
That's a good one
 Whycee
Joined: 4/10/2010
Msg: 101
Christmas
Posted: 11/24/2012 9:02:40 AM
If he cared and he knew you were into gift giving, he wouldn't have said that. Men who are selfish either say that or give you some last minute junk. If it is important. Dump him before you invest anymore time.
 SWEET_MAVERICK
Joined: 9/28/2013
Msg: 102
Christmas
Posted: 11/25/2013 6:40:52 AM
I hope the OP dumped him & would come back & give us an update.

It's not the money, it;'s the thought & caring that counts. Wow Xmas comes but once a year, but Scrooges are 365 days a year it seems!
 aanarchist
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 103
Christmas
Posted: 11/25/2013 7:26:54 AM
I don't believe in birthdays or holidays being a big deal but if it's something important to her then I'd at least indulge her in some way. Idk how expensive gifts have to be but I figure a deluxe trip to a planetarium is like 30 dollars per person, there's a christmas date to see the stars right there which I figure is a good enough gift.

him saying that is basically him saying he lacks sense and creativity and doesn't wanna put any effort in. Aka find someone new. Idk how you girls get together with such trashy guys lol.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 104
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 11/25/2013 9:21:08 AM
1)what's he done in the past when he did have money--thoughtful gifts, "look how much $ I have gifts", or "couldn't think of what to get, but had x amount of $ in my pocket at the time" gifts?

2) has he been thoughtful otherwise? He may have been disrespecting you for a while, and it never really occurred to you until it suddenly took a monetary form. But does he have a habit of putting himself before you? Hard to tell with a long distance relat, but there may be some clues.

3)I have a broke friend, I never buy a gift for her when she's broke (we've known each other 15 yrs now). she just doesn't want to be beholden, and i respect that wish. so i wouldn't buy for someone who told me not to buy for them.

4)i guess the best response might have been, "i hope i'll get the gift of your attention". if he's looking for a breakup, that'd be his openning to get all wishy-washy. but if he's been making a real effort these last 2.5 yrs, then this may just be a bump in the road and nothing more.
 HonkyTonk_Woman
Joined: 9/16/2013
Msg: 105
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 11/25/2013 9:57:36 AM
Well....I don't ask for too much in a relationship...material wise.
Other than respect, consideration, love and knowing that I am important and I am a priority in his life...as he is with me. However, I do expect a token of his thoughts on my Birthday and Xmas.
I had a boyfriend who thought nothing of spending 400 dollars a weekend on fun and partying but tried the old...."Let's not exchange gifts" at Xmas.
Now...this is after I had spent major money on....for no reason....gifts for him, clothes, things for his house....etc.
I just simply said....."If you don't want to buy me a gift...then don't"....
I just knew....I wasn't his priority.....and I wasn't!!

As for finding it hard to figure out what women want.....you just may need to listen/observe more to her.
Are her favorite boots looking old and ragged.
Did she stop and look at something....commenting on how nice it was but walked away.
What does she enjoy in music....
Ask her kids.....
As anything.....the lack of trying....shows a lot!......imo.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 106
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 11/25/2013 10:28:43 AM
1inamillion59- You are here, on a site for singles, but your BOYFRIEND is in the wrong for not wanting to exchange gifts?!
When I was married, some years we didn't exchange gifts because we couldn't afford it.
I was fine with that because, for me, Christmas is about spending time with loved ones. Not what I get.
I have lost four family members this year. Yesterday, I found a friend died unexpectedly, he was 50.
All I want for Christmas is to make it through the rest of the year without having to go to another funeral.
I hope that gives you some perspective.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 107
says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'
Posted: 11/25/2013 1:29:19 PM
This should read "I found out a friend died unexpectedly", not I found, sorry
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 108
view profile
History
Christmas
Posted: 11/25/2013 4:30:04 PM

I hope the OP dumped him & would come back & give us an update.


Since she hasn't posted in nearly two years...not likely. Bummer.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 109
Christmas
Posted: 11/25/2013 5:36:10 PM

It's not the money, it;'s the thought & caring that counts.


That's what I think too. It was kind of nice to see what the OP was "thinking" when she initiated this post wasn't it????? Someone of that age whining about what someone wasn't "gonna give her" before the fact. I do believe the "boyfriend" gave her exactly what she deserved.

Man, I still remember laughing at this one.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > says to me 'let's not exchange Christmas gifts this year, I don't have the money'