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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > That reply was unnecessary!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 44
That reply was unnecessary!Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

Metropolispt1 : Stop whining.Its no worse than having sent 150+ messages out over 4 years in here without ONE interested reply.....grow up and just accept it.


Maybe it's time to change up your strategy? You sound like you're starting to get frustrated and bitter.. which is not going to work for you, it's going to show up in how you word your profile, messages you send out to women, how you respond if you do get that occasional response..

- How about a different dating site, a paid one, such as Match?
- Speed dating
- Singles events and activities in your area

You know the definition of insanity..
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 45
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/24/2011 8:59:27 AM
Posted By: Metropolispt1 on 12/24/2011 1050 AM
Subject: That reply was unnecessary!
Message: Stop whining.Its no worse than having sent 150+ messages out over 4 years in here without ONE interested reply.....grow up and just accept it.

oops; ok, rec_diver said it, so I'm not going to rub it in.
 KatWing123
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 46
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/24/2011 3:17:32 PM

Stop whining.Its no worse than having sent 150+ messages out over 4 years in here without ONE interested reply.....grow up and just accept it.


I think that you are misreading my original post...I wasn't whining. I was mearly asking if anyone else experienced this and if my response was OK. But, I can see how it might look like a whine. Please note, that I prefer wine to whine. (with cheese, please)

I clicked on your profile to check it out, but it's closed. I was going to throw you a bone and help you out! From a woman's perspective, of course.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 47
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/25/2011 4:28:32 AM
likely cycling off the meds and entering full manic / obsessive stage

I wasn't aware Troy NY was sufficiently worse than the rest of NY
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 48
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/25/2011 2:55:25 PM

sortofmaybe: I was on one evening and I got a message from a guy telling me I had a cheek to be on a dating site, me being a single mother and all....who on earth would want my baggage, that I had notions above my station and that I was deluding myself thinking anyone would want me !!! Then he blocked me !! You really just have to laugh !!


Don't be so quick to laugh.

Well he might not have said it very nicely but it's true. Single mothers with children under the age of 10 are not allowed to post dating profiles on the internet.

It's one of those obscure laws that don't really seem to make all that much sense but I blame the politicians for it.
 Lmtred79
Joined: 10/24/2011
Msg: 49
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/26/2011 11:26:54 AM
Some people can't take rejection well. So sad. I had the same problem from a wacko on here once. I didn't answer the phone, so I get 15 so calls and messages all getting worse each time and more and more vulgar. I had no choice but to laugh a little cause in each message he was telling me I better not ever contact him again, yet he's the one calling me over and over. Some people have no clue.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 50
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/26/2011 12:59:55 PM
You did just fine - a thoughtful, kind, to the point approach , that most any reasonably sane human would understand. This guy just doesn't sound like he falls in that category.

And yes - the same thing has happened to me - almost verbatim .
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 51
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/26/2011 3:08:09 PM
Seems like there are many on here who can't handle rejection in any form. If I'm not interested I've learned the hard way to just send a quick 'thanks but no thanks' message and block RIGHT AWAY. I also have my IM turned off. If a guy I think may be compatable sends me a nice polite introductory email then I might invite him to chat, turn it on, and chat for a few minutes. Usually a few minutes is all it takes for them to move into the 'sex chat mode' because they think they have my interest...or I'm desperate for it.

Apparently we all have to experience a lot of negative people in order to fully appreciate the good ones...and there are some good ones
 amalefriend
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 52
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/27/2011 6:40:20 AM
He sounds psycho to me. The fact that you bothered to contact him and explain why he was not a match for you, as opposed to just deleting and blocking him like many of us would have done, made you come across, in his twisted mind, as someone he could abuse. I am sure you were just being polite. He is obviously a scary individual. A girlfriend once gave me some good advice-- that I owe very few people in my life an explanation for my behavior. It has served me well.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 53
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/27/2011 6:52:17 AM
i have received all manner of weird messages. i get these guys that seem to think that taking the insult-the-woman approach is some how charming. i also get messages from men complaining because i didn't even bother to respond, but of course, if they had read my profile they wouldn't have bothered to contact me in the first place. there are lots of weird-os on pof, and you just have to take such incidents with a grain of salt. this guy sounds like a complete nutcase. it's best to block him at this point. i mean, he's already demonstrated that he's verbally abusive (name calling), and in my world that is a complete deal breaker without the added bonus of sending you 13 messages in one day.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 54
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/27/2011 7:55:36 AM
HEY!!! What's with all the knocks on NY? A great place, especially the city!!

Look OP, there will always be nutjobs and wackos! So many can't seem to get this online thing to work for them, so they become somewhat bitter and angry. Then suddenly someone chats or responds to an email and they get desperate to keep it going.(not pretty) Then when someone sees their desparation, they pull away and the person releases all that stored up anger!

Better you found out now, than on a date.

As for hate mail, yeah I get unfounded and founded! I enjoy all mail, so who cares, it never gets a rise out of me. In this case, I would block them, if only to preserve space in my emails. Hahahahha!!
 KatWing123
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 55
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/27/2011 11:09:47 AM

HEY!!! What's with all the knocks on NY? A great place, especially the city!!


I think everyone's just jealous that NY has 3 NFL teams! Doesn't matter that 2 play in Jersey.
 bluejean54
Joined: 8/29/2011
Msg: 56
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/27/2011 11:57:20 AM
Hello...I came back from the 3 day Christmas Holiday weekend to find a message from
a man I dated for about 4 dates way back in June 2011...I never ever hurt him just realized when he finally kissed me after the last time we were ever together that I didn't feel the fireworks and felt horrible that he now felt like just a friend..tried as delicate as I could possibly be to let him know..he was sweet,kind,generous,fun, and good-looking, but my 23yr marriage was never for passion and love so I am seeking just that..I may or may not find, but then that is life..the gentleman didn't even want my friendship so that was that...But now he has decided to strike out at every gal that wronged him this year here on POF, then HE BLOCKED ME TO REPLY TO HIM...HE IS A TOTAL COWARD..he even judged my faith in God and preceded to tell me of the great looking, wealthy gals he could have had....
I never bothered him at all and I am a firm believer in being decent to all people, but this man showed me his true side and his enormous ego!!!!!!!!!!!!
David, hope you read this!!!
 ihatepasswords
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 57
view profile
History
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/27/2011 4:28:13 PM
There's a lot of crazies out there. I wouldnt give him the time of day. It's a waste of time. DELETE, BLOCK AND DO NOT REPLY! He doesn't deserve you. Good luck and be careful.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 58
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/27/2011 5:18:18 PM
Congrats. You've got yourself a stalker. The whole obsession hopelessly intertwined with hate thing. It's exhilarating.
 KatWing123
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 59
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 12/28/2011 8:40:00 AM

Congrats. You've got yourself a stalker. The whole obsession hopelessly intertwined with hate thing. It's exhilarating.


Ummm...yay! Or, yay?

Just a brief update. I blocked him and had a couple of wonderful, blissful days of lovely messages. Then, BAM! New profile, same anger. Fan-freakin-tastic! Some dude needs to get.a.life, because really...really...I'm not *all that.* LOL
 jbihn
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 60
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 1/14/2012 9:14:20 PM
I think that was a very thoughtful response on your part. Regardless though, at least you found out before wasting any more time on him. He definately has issues!
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 61
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 1/9/2014 8:07:04 AM
I love nutty and edgy in a person. I just don't share my address with them.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 62
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 1/9/2014 9:01:39 AM
Personally, I do not instant messaging. It's a waste of time and sounds more like you are talking to Beavis and Butt head, than having an intelligent conversation. I use email only. That way you can express yourself in normal sentences and communicate.

Also, when someone is not clicking with you. Just let them go and ignore them. Most of the time, when you tell them WHY you may not be a match ends up in an angry tirade by the other person. So don't waste your time with people like that.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 63
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 1/9/2014 5:53:04 PM
I had a similar experience to OP's a few weeks ago, a lighter case thankfully. This guy kept texting me and we had not spoken on the phone yet. I guess I should have known better as he was planning the 2nd date before we had a 1st date or talk on the phone. When I sent him an email noting not a good match, wished him well....he immediately responded something about me being overly judgmental......go figure. Sometimes, intuition (gut feeling) works wonders :)
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 64
view profile
History
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 1/9/2014 7:19:59 PM
OP, I think this is one of the problems with the online community in general, not just dating sites. It's just plain lack of online etiquette. Even though I happen to be a rather bitter old "nice guy" who never gets boo from the ladies, I would still be polite.

Either way, I'd say block him, and be thankful you dodged a bullet.
 ktxginger
Joined: 11/11/2013
Msg: 65
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 1/9/2014 9:30:39 PM
This guy was showing his true colors before you got in deeper with him. That is good for you b/c it helps you weed people out that are nutty.

I had one guy give me his number and I told him it would be a couple days before I could call. 2 days later I get a message from him (was actually planning on calling that evening) that was rude and he told me that he 'wouldn't bother Mrs. Obama again'. I blocked him and was thankful I didn't give him my number. Since then, he has made 2 more profiles (that I know of) and has contacted me through both ...
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 66
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 1/10/2014 5:25:03 AM

We talked for a couple of minutes and I had to run, so I told him I would contact him tomorrow. By the time I woke up this morning, there were 13 messages from him in my inbox. 13!

I'm picturing some guy in a dirty t-shirt who was mid-coitus with his left hand when you cut him off so casually. just who do you think you are, missy? no wonder he called you and your city bad names. you shameless hussy.


a diplomatic approach.

nice try, but anyone who sends you 13 progressively more insane messages probably isn't going to be receptive to "diplomacy". he is the Louis Wain of the internet, going batshit crazy one email at a time.


Have you guys/gals experienced unfounded hate mail?

no dammit, i've never had one of those but i hear so much about them that i'm beginning to feel left out. where is he?


And, would you have said something different? Or said nothing at all and just ignored, deleted and blocked?

my initial reply, had I bothered to reply at all, would have been a lot like yours. after that, I would have egged him on just hoping to see his head explode.

then I'd start a thread about it and watch those opinions roll in like turds down a hill.

then a certain forum member (who shall remain nameless) and I could start an argument about what kind of glitter to roll the turds in. then we'd both get banned for threatening to kill each other and taking at least one moderator (who shall remain nameless) with us. at least six other people would be cheering, but for which side we aren't sure.

oh sorry I got a little off track there.
 ilPescatore
Joined: 12/8/2013
Msg: 67
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 1/10/2014 7:52:34 AM

Not so, according to him. He replied back with a very mean and hateful comment calling me all sorts of bad names and dissing the city that I'm from. WTF?!


Just use the "block" function, IMO.
This is online dating, on a free website,.
you're under no obligation to even reply let alone reply "in time", etc etc. If you're not sitting on here all the time like the guy apparently is, that's another indication that you probably wouldn't even be a good match anyway.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 68
That reply was unnecessary!
Posted: 1/31/2014 5:40:00 AM

I had one guy give me his number and I told him it would be a couple days before I could call. 2 days later I get a message from him (was actually planning on calling that evening) that was rude and he told me that he 'wouldn't bother Mrs. Obama again'.

I hope he doesn't write comedy for a living. What does that even mean?
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > That reply was unnecessary!