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 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 82
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Atheism and DatingPage 4 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Nowinters seems to have a serious issue with reading comprehension. I don't think reading the constitution would help, at least not in his case.

I do not thank God or god for our freedoms. I do thank all of the men and women who have served in our military.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 83
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 2/15/2012 9:01:06 AM
I would rather hang out with an atheist. At least you don't get the statement "Do you accept jesus christ as your saviour?" thrown at you, nor do they try and convert you...

And I have never been ridiculed by an atheist for what I believed/didn't believe. But I sure have been from those who considered themselves christian.

I've never had an atheist knock at my door telling me to join anything either.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 84
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 2/15/2012 10:08:33 AM

Try other forums like "off topic", or "Science/philosophy".
It's rife with atheists mocking people who believe in God.


Isn't that where it should be done? Lots of mocking on both sides
in science or political forums.

But I've yet to have an atheist knock on my door, or an atheist
start up a conversation about religion or lack of it.

But maybe it's just the area I live in.
I've rarely been in a situation where anything remotely religious
is brought up by an atheist person. In fact, most of my conversations
are devoid of religion.

It's been my experience that atheists, unless provoked, keep their
non beliefs to themselves.

But again, could be just where I live or the people I hang around with.
We just don't find the need to discuss religion or the lack of it.
In here it's all over the place.
 What_He_Said
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 85
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 2/15/2012 10:25:39 AM
I've encountered a number of women that make all sorts of pronouncements regarding faith and their expectations of it's role in their prospective partners and relationships, but they contact me regardless. Despite the following disclaimer...


Fwiw, I'm also not very (read: at all) religious and don't identify with, or particularly support, any doctrinal belief systems. I respect the choices of others, I leave open the possibility of "no one really knows", and I'm open to conversation (not debate) on the subject, but it is what it is.


Insightful and tactful way to broach the subject. Also a good way to be candid about it upfront with out being obnoxious or sanctimonious about it.

If someone is a believer, of whatever faith, then so be it. In the same vein there are those who are atheists or agnostics. No one especially likes a value system that is pushed upon them, no matter how well intentioned. Sometimes it is religious, but an offshoot is the cultural aspect that frequently accompanies a particular belief system.

Just as you may respect another persons value system, they should mirror the action and respect yours. At least in the perfect world. Unfortunately it isn't a perfect world, so there is often friction. It may be small at first, but over time it has the potential to widen and cause a rift. Particularly if there are children involved and how they are to be raised.

Not saying it will or won't, merely that it is something to consider.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 86
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 2/15/2012 10:30:40 AM
5... Atheists say nothing when you sneeze....


Oh I'm sure quite a few Atheists have said, "God bless you" before.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 87
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 2/15/2012 11:07:41 AM

The very religious and the anti-religious. They should really never date.


But what if you are somewhere inbetween there?

Firstly my apologies to anyone who may think I'm anti-Jesus Christ.

I have have dated a few men who made it clear to me that I would have to change my views regarding religious issues. I get that some people consider their religion a lifestyle but quite frankly, some people take it way too far....

I had a christian man at my friend's bbq last summer really get his hackles up about my views on christianity, and yes he was trying to convert me. Or test my patience.... either way, I'm happy that the 10% of his earnings he gives to his church brings him so much satisfaction....

I prefer to date and get along better with the open-minded guys who understand there is much more information (i.e. science, other cultures, history, anthopology, etc. etc.) to explore than just to stick to what your church tells you to.
 Asakura8
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 88
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/6/2012 6:11:16 AM
People have their beliefs I for one am Asatru but I really don't mind dating women of other religions, But some are hie hard in their ways and if you can't look past that then afraid you gotta move on.
 FNADude
Joined: 7/22/2011
Msg: 89
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/6/2012 7:18:10 AM
Yea Atheism! Cheers to those that are out of the closet!

Although I am clearly a non-believer I fear the political backlash of coming out. So when asked about beliefs I just claim to be a Scientist - Not a cult scientist but a real life scientist - you know Scientific Method and all that jazz.

It makes me feel good to see all this support.

As for dating true believers, I've done it and it can work for a while. But as soon as there is a problem in the relationship their response will be to blame the problems on you for your lack of faith.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 90
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/6/2012 11:32:17 AM

Atheism, strictly is the belief that there is no god. At all.

Sorta. Actually it’s the lack or absence of belief in any god. And that’s a small but important difference.

Lets see if we can prove the absence of god: What would the check be to test if there is no god?

Since one cannot prove a negative, there is no test. Just as it’s impossible to prove there are no five-legged monkeys in the Amazon. Scientists (and atheists) don’t really hold a “belief” that there is no such monkey or no such god. For them, it’s just not an issue.
 vampyreshadow
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 91
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/6/2012 2:34:07 PM
I am very much out of the closet on this one, so I have never had much of a problem with people learning later into the program about it, other then telling me I am going to hell. I find this quite odd, given that I do not believe in hell, its like threatening someone else that my killer Unicorn is going to stab them with his pretty golden horn. Or trying to give me reasons I should believe, this starts me into a debate (actually rather enjoy that reaction, I love debating) I personally think you should be open before hand on this, some people get rather psychotic when it comes to dealing with the atheist, and I would rather not shock them at close range with the fact.
 optimismfirst
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 92
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/6/2012 3:32:35 PM
LOL
religion can ruin so many good things in life...
I'm kinda agnostic. religiously flexible is what i like to think of myself. I am not athesist though
 WiseBurro
Joined: 11/25/2011
Msg: 93
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/6/2012 7:59:11 PM
Sort of-
I admitted that I was raised Satanist, even going as far as to explain that I hadn't been to a sacrificial ceremony in years, and only once a year would I drag out the 'ol pentagram for a little quiet reflection, just like Christians who only go to church on Christmas. I used the term "non-practicing"
She didn't cry, but she did go out of her way to make me feel like an outcast after that. From that point on I use the term "hedonist" and it seems to sit well enough with people. I almost feel a kinship with Christains, as I actually believe God exists, but I can never tell them this.
 Chaos-star
Joined: 8/29/2011
Msg: 94
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/6/2012 8:20:40 PM
I've had negative and positive experiences with both atheists and believers. I don't have a problem with anyone who is a tolerant, thinking and compassionate human being. I have a problem with people who act like their beliefs or lack thereof entitle them to feel superior. Also, fake humility and preaching are deal breakers.

My current position on religion is that I believe in the possibility that the Universe is in some way a living organism but that we cannot know this with any degree of certainty. Either way, it makes sense to respect people and cultivate wisdom, as we are all in the same existential boat. To some extent, we all make a leap of faith, but some make greater leaps of faith than others.

Faith is not really a consideration for me so long as the person I am with treats others well. From my experience, many fundamentalists (both religious and atheist) deride those who have a different perspective. That's a waste of time and generally just a way to make up for inner insecurity/uncertainty. That's a major turn-off.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 95
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/6/2012 8:31:46 PM
Elmenreich

Depends on what you are sucking!!! And how. Where are those emotikons when I need them?
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 96
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/19/2012 2:10:02 PM
I can only relate to people that can think freely with a logical /rational mind....I live in the bible belt, so I don't even bother with dating here.
 zunflower
Joined: 4/14/2012
Msg: 97
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/20/2012 7:40:44 PM
I'm an atheist. I could never connect to anyone who believes in a 'mystical figure." :)

My profile clearly states that and I know that that offends some people. However, I prefer to be truthful.

What surprises me is the number of guys who say on their profiles that they are deeply believing Christians and they want to date me with a view to a 'relationship.'

The bible clearly says that that believers are not to mix with the 'ungodly.'

I find it curious that believers would think it doesn't matter that I'm an atheist. Of course, it does! Oil and Water.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 98
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/20/2012 9:12:46 PM

The thing is, if you're a true atheist, maybe it's best to just keep that to yourself. After all, it's not like there's some sort of higher power that you have to please...your belief system says that you can do whatever you want. What exactly is the harm in just refraining from telling your loved ones that you don't believe in their God? Sometimes wearing your heart on your sleeve causes more harm than good.


My sense of morals and integrity do not come from the need to stay in the good graces of an invisible sky god, they come from my idea of how to live right. Cooperation with other humans is fundamental to survival. Altruism is hardwired into us. Babies who have no concept yet of any god or morals will try to comfort a crying baby or help an adult who is struggling to do something.

Not being honest about who I am is harmful to myself. And it allows the idea to persist that non-believers are selfish, immoral people.

Coming out about being an atheist is harder than coming out about being gay. I know, I've done both, and everyone I know who has done both agrees. Check out this video of John Corvino talking about that very thing. It's funny and articulate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRTbzeTgHvU
 Rorschachs_journal86
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 99
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/21/2012 3:11:20 PM
I think labeling my self as an Atheist is rather negative and has a negative response from my peers who are religious, not that people care who or what I am. But those people judge me and think I am bad person without morals. That is not true, I have done my own research and based things on my own beliefs and opinions on the “Natural” world and I have come to a conclusion that I’m more of a humanist with a disbelief of any sort of Deity… What I’m trying to say is, I’d rather put humanity before any religions

Thou shalt not have false Deity's before thy human's
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 100
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/22/2012 1:56:34 AM
I've always found mankinds obsession with the supernatural and mythical creatures to be very amusing. My idea of fun would be to wear a very realistic devil/Satan costume to church..sit down in the back row, and have someone to film the reaction for Youtube. LOL
 starofgaia
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 101
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/22/2012 5:22:48 AM
Religious beliefs are not up for debate. If you're an atheist and you like someone who isn't and they like you, then there isn't anything to debate. Live and be happy.
 B1gEddd
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 102
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/22/2012 3:25:06 PM
Usually it brings up good conversation. I enjoy talking about religion/philosophy so as long as the two sides respect each other everything should be fine. In my experience the girls will talk about it but it didn't affect them sticking around or not.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 103
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/22/2012 11:20:08 PM


Sorta. Actually it’s the lack or absence of belief in any god. And that’s a small but important difference.

Atheist is like the word "Light" in that it has many possible meanings and it needs strict context to make its meaning clear.

The narrowest, strictest, hardest definition of atheism is what I said. It is the belief that there is no god.
The broadest definition is anyone who doesnt believe in any specific god. This definition includes everyone from someone's point of view. Using this definition, then every Christian is an atheist from a Hindu point of view.

You want to choose a meaning for that term which confuses it with agnostic. That use is linguistically correct, but entirely confusing without some qualification.


Ahem...I respectfully disagree, Atheism means non-belief. While someone who makes the statement "There is
no God" most certainly may call themselves an Atheist, this does not mean that is the definition of atheism. It is simply how they identify themselves.

This article explains the differences between atheism and agnosticism very well. I will post the link at the bottom:


Am I agnostic or atheist?
Sapient's picture
Submitted by Sapient on August 17, 2006 - 3:38am.

The definitions from the Oxford English Dictionary.

Oxford English Dictionary, Second Edition


Here is how the OED defines atheism:

atheism Disbelief in, or denial of, the existence of a god.

disbelieve 1. trans. Not to believe or credit; to refuse credence to: a. a statement or (alleged) fact: To reject the truth or reality of.

deny

To contradict or gainsay (anything stated or alleged); to declare to be untrue or untenable, or not what it is stated to be.
Logic. The opposite of affirm; to assert the contradictory of (a proposition).
To refuse to admit the truth of (a doctrine or tenet); to reject as untrue or unfounded; the opposite of assert or maintain.
To refuse to recognize or acknowledge (a person or thing) as having a certain character or certain claims; to disown, disavow, repudiate, renounce.

Note that the OED definition covers the whole spectrum of atheist belief, from weak atheism (those who do not believe in or credit the existence of one or more gods) to strong atheism (those who assert the contrary position, that a god does not exist).


Here is the OED's definition of 'agnostic':

agnostic A. sb. One who holds that the existence of anything beyond and behind material phenomena is unknown and (so far as can be judged) unknowable, and especially that a First Cause and an unseen world are subjects of which we know nothing.


Webster's 3rd New International Dictionary Unabridged


Here is Webster's definition of atheism:

atheism n 1 a: disbelief in the existence of God or any other deity b: the doctrine that there is neither god nor any other deity--compare AGNOSTICISM 2: godlessness esp. in conduct

disbelief n: the act of disbelieving : mental refusal to accept (as a statement or proposition) as true

disbelieve vb vt : to hold not to be true or real : reject or withold belief in vi : to withold or reject belief

Note that again, both strong (1b) and weak (1a) atheism are included in the definition.

A good deal of people consider themselves to be 'agnostics'. By this they mean to identify themselves as doubters on the question of a 'god's' existence. They usually hold to this position of doubt because reason compels them to doubt the existence of any 'god', yet they resist calling themselves atheists because they also want to hold to their disbelief tentatively. Their expressed reason for this is clear: while their reason leads them to doubt the claims of theism, reason also demands that they keep an open mind on the question of 'god'. If you are one such person then it might interest you to know that your doubt actually makes you an atheist, not an agnostic. Why is this so? Because the word 'theism' simply implies a belief in a god. Therefore, if you find yourself identifying yourself primarily as a doubter of the existence of a 'god', then you are an a-theist... someone who does not hold to a belief in a 'god', someone who does not accept the claims of theists. That's all the term means - a position of non acceptance, a position of non belief.



It is the fallback position, the position one holds to when a claim is unsupported or unproven. Yet, you might feel that the word 'atheist' still implies more than what you actually hold to. A common response to hearing that one is an 'atheist' is to say: "But I don't disbelieve, I just don't believe!" But take a look at those words carefully: if you literally "don't disbelieve" - then, by double negation, you'd believe! Not disbelieving is believing. But you are not identifying yourself as a theist with doubts, right? You're identifying yourself as a doubter... period. That is atheism.

But you still seek some sort of middle ground, right? Something between theism and rejection of theism. Well relax, because the atheism IS your middle ground. "A-theism"' implies everything that a rational doubter means when he declares himself an 'agnostic', for while it's a common misperception that atheism implies a denial or rejection or active disbelief in the very possibility of a god, this is not so. In fact, we require a special term for those those who hold to such beliefs: "Strong Atheism". The rest of us doubters simply don't hold the belief... we're all atheists, whether we are doubters or outright rejectors of theism. So the missing 'middle ground' that you are looking for, rational tentativeness, is already included within the term 'atheism'.

So what does the word "agnostic" actually mean and how ought we use it? Notice the 'a' in front. 'Agnosticism' is a position counter to gnosticism. And what is gnosticism? It's the belief that a human being can possess knowledge about a god. It's an epistemological term - about the possibility of knowledge in regard to 'god' claims - and not a statement about matters of belief. 'Agnostics' hold to the epistemological position that human beings can't actually know anything about something beyond nature, something theists call 'supernatural'. So they believe that there's no way for a human to know anything about a 'god'. But there are many theists who agree!

Theists can be be agnostics! In fact, many theists say that they hold to their god belief on faith because they agree that we humans can't know things about the supernatural, or 'god'. Some very famous theologians have agreed that man is limited and that this means that man cannot have 'god knowledge". The list of theologians would include people like Martin Luther or Soren Kierkegaard. So when one says that they are an 'agnostic' and they mean a 'doubter', they are really saying that they are agnostic atheists. So if you find that this describes your own 'agnosticism', welcome to atheism!

http://www.rationalresponders.com/am_i_agnostic_or_atheist


I do not have a problem with people who believe in (a) God. I do however have a problem with people who
profess a belief in (a) God without ever questioning WHY they believe. The ones who were brought up
going to church every Sunday and accepting everything they were taught there without ever questioning it.

"Mom and Dad say that there's a God, therefore God exists."

I was once one of them, until I reached an age (late teens) where I began to question the validity of that claim. Once I
began to investigate and educate myself I found it very difficult to maintain any belief. Even so, in my late 30's I decided to seriously undertake a "spiritual" journey and immerse myself in religion to see if perhaps I had been too hasty...after almost 6 months I had to stop. My heart wanted so to believe, but my mind just wouldn't let it. I could not be true to myself and profess a belief in God.

I respect those who have the courage of their convictions and can back up their beliefs. Because the bible tells me so just doesn't cut it.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 104
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:05:14 AM
Zunflower, I find your post somewhat confusing:


What surprises me is the number of guys who say on their profiles that they are deeply believing Christians and they want to date me with a view to a 'relationship.'


Why would anyone approach you for a date when you state clearly in your profile that you are not interested in dating or sex?


From your profile:
*The reason my profile says that I don't want a relationship or a commitment is because I'm looking for platonic friends only. I don't want to get involved romantically or sexually again as I find the whole thing just too complicated, intense, and it affects my life negatively. Please respect that. I do enjoy male company, but only as friends, i.e. no sex.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 105
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/24/2012 11:55:08 AM
One of my favorite quotes:


“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” Stephen Roberts



If you can think of a narrower, stricter, definition of atheist than the first one, let me know.


I don't understand your need for a "narrower" or "stricter" definition of atheism/atheist. It means what it means, a lack of belief in a deity or deities. Disbelief, pure and simple. If there is a name for someone who can say with utter certainty that no God exists (and of course no one can, this would make them very similar to those who believe - believing in something which cannot be proven nor dis-proven.) I don't know what it is, but it isn't atheist under it's most basic definition.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 106
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 4/24/2012 3:45:01 PM
breakingthewaves:


No it's not an issue in the UK at all


Same here.

I'm an atheist and my girlfriend is an atheist.

It's interesting how so many profiles on Match.com in Canada had 'sprituial but not religious'...but so many in the USA have 'Christian'.

Fortunately in much of the western world, folks no longer worship a dead-guy-on-a-stick.

If I was in the USA, I write 'Christian' down ...if the topic ever came up I'd say like lots of people that I believe in christian morality, etc. ...not 'literally' but 'do unto others', blah, blah. fudge it. I did that a few times when I worked in the USA as people are weird down there about their mythical heroes.
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