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 AUTHOR
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 51
ContradictionsPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Female sexuality is intimidating, isn’t it?
Holy crap….women have breasts. And they are dirty. And if they show more than what’s approved by some guy’s buddies, then she is an insecure, mixed up slut who should expect to be treated badly.

HAHA! Amusing. Treated badly? You face male sexuality in dirty messages. Intimidating isn't? Tat for Tit as it ware


You mean like accusing female posters of misandry over nothing?

oh yes indeed! I'm the regular old school manipulator. Witness my success rate! /sarcasm


The fact is that what motivates both men and women in their choice of pictures to post is their understanding of what is most likely to attract a mate. Men post cheesy shirtless bathroom mirror shots by the thousands, women post cleavage shots, who really cares??? Who are you to judge???

This would be totally fine if it was fair and balanced. Unfortunately posting picture in a bathing suit is acceptable while 'cheesy shirtless bathroom mirror shots' are not. It is the sexist, double standard site policy that drives guys crazy. Beside number superiority guys get practically castrated. Any expression of sexuality is forbidden while females are almost encouraged. No wonder they rage. Flip the side and imagine for a moment how would you feel?
 Cupidguy
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 52
Contradictions
Posted: 12/27/2011 6:07:26 AM
Update Naysayers.... I've contacted and been on two dates with great "ladies" that I got off this site since posting the forum.. I've also been contacted by vicious ladies that seem to want to defend everyone else's points made in response to my post directly to my mailbox... Perhaps the ladies are frustrated, because clearly NOT am I.

I am all for a woman wearing a bikini on the beach gwen, but this is a dating site not a beach site. Tell me what a woman is saying then in a picture of herself in a teddy under a christmas tree, while on a dating site? To then claim that I have made the nasty remarks to the women directly, is just that, a claim.. I was passing on information gotten from women I talk to about replies they get... I just love to hear a woman tell me she gets that kind of mail because my life gets so much easier.. Save the provocative pic for the guy you want to see it, and you won't get "HALF" of the nasty mails. Can't stop all the perves but you can keep some at bay...

Thanks for posting peeps, used idea or not it has gotten some heated discussion going..
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Contradictions
Posted: 12/27/2011 6:22:07 AM
Not sure its really a "contradiction" as such, but just a lack of intellect/sanity really

On the one hand they KNOW whether they admit it or not that tits tend to attract men.

That doesnt mean by having vaccuous profiles with soft porn photos theyre trying to attract "all" men indiscriminately, nor that theyre flashing their tits to get laid by total strangers. Simply that they know tits are "likely" to attract "men" based on previous life experience

So when they then start getting the pervy type mails from males they complain and whinge about it either on threads or in their profiles seemingly without ever stopping to question WHY they keep getting a type of contact they dont want from a type of man theyre not interested in


Its barely one step up the evolutionary ladder from the women who go out wearing nothing more than a wide belt and a top made out of dental floss then act surprised or offended if men leer at them or see them in a sexual way

As much as in an "ideal world" it "maybe" should be possible for women to walk about almost naked without any men taking much notice thats not exactly realistic. And I daresay that when those same women WERE infact looking for a partner or to hook up they'd be whinging and whining just as much that no matter how slutty they dress nobody pays them any attention

So it starts to get a bit inane really and ends up a bit like the sexual harassment type deal where its not "what" somebody does thats important, its WHO does it or WHEN they do it that is. So once again the real problem here is that people (men) are too lazy to genetically evolve into mind readers

But going back to profiles again, its a bit like the saying that

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results"

Once they start getting the type of responses they DONT want it would only take a couple of brain cells to figure out that youre going to be attracting people to some extent based on what you project.

And trying to use sex to attract men who arent overtly sexual is a bit like trying to use fresh meat as a bait for a herbivore really
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 54
Contradictions
Posted: 12/27/2011 8:25:20 AM

I've contacted and been on two dates with great "ladies" that I got off this site since posting the forum.. I've also been contacted by vicious ladies that seem to want to defend everyone else's points made in response to my post directly to my mailbox


I get positive emails from people in forums--I can't recall when I ever got a nasty, vicious email from someone who read my posts. I send only positive emails to others and reserve more negative comments for the thread: that's why I am in the forums. Of course, there are snipers in forums who get personal; I have identified most of them and tend not to reply to their posts.


I am all for a woman wearing a bikini on the beach gwen, but this is a dating site not a beach site.


What if the picture is of her on the beach? Is there a difference between a teddy and a tank top?

I am quite aware of how pictures promote a certain aura or imply certain issues; it is the same in real life with how we dress and present ourselves. I am aware of "the message" sent by a woman dressed in barely nothing lying on a bed. I have been around the proverbial block a few times. Ignore those women--there are enough hypocrisies on the parts of WOMEN and MEN to get hung up on them. I could write paragraphs on the hypocrisies I have seen on men's profiles.

I already posted about the naivete of some women and how some men will read SEX into anything.

I am a quilter, and when Yahoo had blogs, I posted a picture of my bed with a newly finished quilt--nope, I was not lying on it, just a picture of a bright blue quilt of which I was quite proud. A male friend sent me an email asking, "What are you doing???" He was referring to the picture.

"Showing off my quilt," I told him. He replied by saying I would be hearing from men who in their fantasies, would be seeing a naked Gwen with her hair trailing off the side of the bed.

He was right--despite the caption with the picture discussing the quilt, SOME men saw it only as a vehicle to contact me with sexual remarks.

I did not remove the picture--frick 'em.

I would not post a picture of myself in clothes that I would not wear in public--and not what I would wear in public on a beach. Yup, I show cleavage; yup, I wear dresses above my knees. If men think that I am trashy for that, it is their problem!


I just love to hear a woman tell me she gets that kind of mail because my life gets so much easier.


And so, I get "that" kind of mail. I am intelligent, educated, well respected in my community, and have a respectable career. Nope, I do not show cleavage at the school where I teach, but present and former students have contacted me on dating sites--some to say "Hey!" and some to hit on me. Half of my friends on FB are former students; I post the same pictures there that I post here, and none have ever formed negative opinions of me based on those pictures.

If a man looks at a picture and all he sees are breasts--regardless of how much cleavage is being shown--then he is as immature as the woman who sits scantily clad under a Christmas tree and complains because men send inappropriate emails to her. Not that YOU would be attracted to an old, plump woman, but if men like you bypass contacting a woman like me because of pictures or because we get emails like "that," then we are losing nothing.

As I wrote, I get sexual emails based on my hair; I have read in forums and heard large busted women who say they get sexual emails even when they ARE covered up to the neck.

One more thing about bathing suit pictures--men consistently complain about women misrepresenting their weight on their profiles. A loose dress or muu-muu hides a lot: a bathing suit hides nothing. A woman can't win for losing.

I think it is time to post my Breast monologue on my profile again.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 55
Contradictions
Posted: 12/27/2011 8:50:37 AM

The fact is that from my experience the vast majority of men I've come into contact with on this site treat women on here as if they were free prostitutes...REGARDLESS of their attire on their profiles. Maybe there are women who treat men like free prostitutes too


You are correct.

In fact; many people treat themselves like that too.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 56
Contradictions
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:31:26 AM
Email received this morning:
mercy you are one sexy hot woman..I would love to get under that little short dress of yours for sure...land sakes!


My reply: What possibly make you think that I want YOU to get under my dress?

I dunno, maybe he is a cross-dresser.

Am I offended? No. Do I think that this guy is an idiot? Yes. Is my picture "provocative" enough to make a viewer think that I would invite any man who wants to be under my dress to crawl in? I certainly don't think so.

It is all about perspective, eh?
 raytheman
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 57
Contradictions
Posted: 12/28/2011 4:06:01 PM
A woman that is beautiful could be fully covered and you will still notice her beauty. Hopefully she has beauty on the inside as well. It is very sad when a woman only has the outside and nothing to go with it.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 58
Contradictions
Posted: 12/28/2011 4:20:08 PM

You face male sexuality in dirty messages. Intimidating isn't?


I’ve never personally received “dirty messages” from men on here. But, nope….I am not intimidated by male sexuality at all. Quite the opposite, actually.

Your attempted sarcasm makes me


I am all for a woman wearing a bikini on the beach gwen, but this is a dating site not a beach site.


Please excuse me for just a moment, Gwen…

So it’s not a “beach” site, it’s a “dating” site…so women should post pictures of dates?? That doesn’t even make sense. You seem very controlling. How about you bypass profiles you find personally offensive…why waste time with women you can’t control?
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 59
Contradictions
Posted: 12/28/2011 5:14:42 PM
The OP wrote:
I am all for a woman wearing a bikini on the beach gwen, but this is a dating site not a beach site.


fleuron:
So it’s not a “beach” site, it’s a “dating” site…so women should post pictures of dates?? That doesn’t even make sense.


There has been an oversight on the OP's part as it was me that mentioned the beach, and that I had seen some very scantilly clad folk there.....

And I think what the OP was getting at was he would not accept a pic of a woman in a bikini unless she was at the beach....?
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 60
Contradictions
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:00:57 PM
Geez, now we scandalous women are fighting over who gets to answer the "beach" comment. (Grin.)


And I think what the OP was getting at was he would not accept a pic of a woman in a bikini unless she was at the beach....?


I THINK he was saying that pictures of women in bikinis are not acceptable regardless of where they are taken. I guess this means that all the guys who have pics of themselves on beaches need to remove them, as well.

It is amusing: I posted my "Breast" monologue a couple of days ago and my emails have gone up significantly. Funny, none of the guys mention what I say about Inanna, Crete, the Song of Solomon, the Venus of Willendorf, or the Virgin Mary but just zoom in on the fact that I say "breast" and "nipple." It is amazing how they can pick certain words out of several paragraphs of texts.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 61
Contradictions
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:30:31 PM
SylvanSwan:
And I think what the OP was getting at was he would not accept a pic of a woman in a bikini unless she was at the beach....?


Maybe. But from the OP’s posts and the beach comment specifically, I was under the impression he objects to bikini shots, especially of women who speak out against being objectified, because if they do post those pics, then they deserve to be objectified.

OP Msg. 61:
To then claim that I have made the nasty remarks to the women directly, is just that, a claim.. I was passing on information gotten from women I talk to about replies they get...


Really, that’s interesting. Your OP suggests that you wouldn’t…or rather, couldn’t…. have anything to do with women like that….remember?

OP
Why do women say they are not into a hook - up, or don't like being called sexy, hot, babe, muffin or whatever for a pet name, and then on top of it all tell guys not to do it, all the while leaving nothing to the imagination in their profile pictures..
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 62
Contradictions
Posted: 12/28/2011 7:06:26 PM
And I think what the OP was getting at was he would not accept a pic of a woman in a bikini unless she was at the beach....?




I accept all pictures

Thank GOD its not a skimpy lingirie site; but is instead a dating site hu!?


 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 63
Contradictions
Posted: 12/28/2011 7:28:05 PM
Fleuron:
Really, that’s interesting. Your OP suggests that you wouldn’t…or rather, couldn’t…. have anything to do with women like that….remember?


Whoa! That went over my head! But when the OP says:


I was passing on information gotten from women I talk to about replies they get...


But adds:
I just love to hear a woman tell me she gets that kind of mail because my life gets so much easier..


It MUST mean that he engages them in conversation long enough to find out that they gets "that kind of mail," YET SURELY he checks out their profiles and would see the offending pics BEFORE he talks with them--regardless of whether he or she initiates the conversation.

He's slumming, I suppose.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 64
Contradictions
Posted: 12/28/2011 9:47:32 PM

Posted By: Cupidguy on 12/25/2011 1010 AM
Subject: Contradictions
Message: To me I find the cleavage shot to be the invite to sexual comments,


By your logic, a woman who looks sexy is inviting rape. Where does one draw the line--anything but cleavage shots, or ankles showing below the burka? Or is that too sexy, too?

A woman's clothing is observable--but that does not justify anything another person DOES upon seeing that clothing.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 65
Contradictions
Posted: 12/28/2011 9:58:11 PM

You face male sexuality in dirty messages. Intimidating isn't?


No, actually, it's laughable, b/c the more secure a man is about his sexuality, the LESS he has to act like a 15 year old boy.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 66
Contradictions
Posted: 12/29/2011 6:23:37 AM

By your logic, a woman who looks sexy is inviting rape. Where does one draw the line--anything but cleavage shots, or ankles showing below the burka? Or is that too sexy, too?


This "logic" was in place for hundreds of years--women who dressed "provocatively" and/or were in the "wrong place" were "asking" to be raped. Years ago, I read where women in the Medieval period who wore their hair uncovered were open season because men could not restrain themselves on the sight of hair. This is based on the Christian Scripture admonishing women to cover their heads "because of the angels."


No, actually, it's laughable, b/c the more secure a man is about his sexuality, the LESS he has to act like a 15 year old boy.


Add to this, men who are not desperate also act less like a 15 year old.

I saw a profile this morning where the primary photo is of a shirtless, well muscled man. Most of his photos emphasize his muscular physique. In his profile blurb, he protests that women send him "nasty emails" accusing him of seeking only "Barbie dolls" and that he is "hung up" on himself. He sounds like a nice guy, and women are prejudging him BASED ON HIS PICTURES, but I have to admit, it "looks" as if his muscles are his most attractive assets. If he posts such pictures, isn't it hypocritical of him to be upset because women send nasty emails to him? Should we women not think that he is inviting sexual comments by baring his chest?

Or is this a different case because he is male and men can show their chests in public with no sexual connotations attached?
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 67
Contradictions
Posted: 12/29/2011 9:11:29 AM
I’ve never personally received “dirty messages” from men on here. But, nope….I am not intimidated by male sexuality at all. Quite the opposite, actually.

HAHAHA sounds like you would like to get dirty messages.
I really wouldn't know what kind of messages you get and it's pointless to argue personal stuff. Point being if you flaunt something, expect feedback and this whole thread is about contradictory reactions.


No, actually, it's laughable, b/c the more secure a man is about his sexuality, the LESS he has to act like a 15 year old boy.

Men will choose whatever expression of sexuality is natural to them. You may laugh your heart out, it wont change anything. Unless you are a male you really don't know what makes a man secure about his sexuality. Belittling or attempting to manipulate is pointless.


A woman's clothing is observable--but that does not justify anything another person DOES upon seeing that clothing.
Newton's Third law states: The mutual forces of action and reaction between two bodies are equal, opposite and collinear.
 FaerieFae18
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 68
Contradictions
Posted: 12/29/2011 9:54:42 AM
If we are just simply talking about cleavage or women showing too much or hell I kind of already forgot, I would like to say that I am very ample in the chest area and regardless of what I wear I can't hide them. (FYI my bountiful bosom friends, minimizer bras are a load of crap!!!) If I went on a date with a guy he is going to notice them. I wear what I like be it a plain jane t-shirt or something more alluring "the girls" aren't going anywhere. So I don't know.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 69
Contradictions
Posted: 12/29/2011 11:39:00 AM
Contradictions in humans?

Who would have believed it?

Sad and frustrating, but true.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 70
Contradictions
Posted: 12/29/2011 11:54:26 AM
This subject has been done to death and I'm not on here as much as I was.

I personally don't see everyday cleavage as a problem. I also don't see cleavage as a invite for me (or any man) to respond sexually in a email. It is true that some men are douches and dogs, not all of us are.

Personally I'm a little old fashioned, I like to have my imagination run wild on what the "girls" look like. A little cleavage is nice don't get me wrong, not complaining one bit, but I want to imagine.

Men and women are going to look, I don't know how many times I've busted a woman staring at my crotch. I've had a few lewd comments. I've got a pair of pants that are my favorite pair, the only problem is they are getting age on them and the zipper doesn't stay up, esp after I get up from sitting down. So one day I was walking toward a woman I know and she hugged me a whispered "xyz (Examine your zipper)"....I was embarrassed as we all are due to this and she laughed and said "I guess you're too big for your britches". I blushed a little bit because of the nature of the comment. But it is funny and I tell the story a lot...It was meant to be funny and I took it as funny. I could've went to the mgr at my job because it could've been considered sexual snide. But I didn't...but could have.

It's like the old saying "It's alright to go shopping just don't take everything home" for every woman that complains about every man staring and ogling her cleavage there is another woman that wants the man to look. She's proud of what she's got and is going to flaunt it.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 71
Contradictions
Posted: 12/29/2011 12:04:13 PM

Newton's Third law states: The mutual forces of action and reaction between two bodies are equal, opposite and collinear.


There are variables, especially those dealing with HUMAN responses to stimuli.

By your logic, on seeing cleavage, a man is justified in grabbing a woman’s breasts because it is a reaction to an action. But in reality, while he is free to want to grab her, acting on his desire is not acceptable.

There is a consequence for every act; but we have laws that forbid a responder from playing out ANY “reaction” that he/she might have. I am not a fan of the Hebrew Scriptures, but this is why the law "an eye for an eye" was put into place: the punishment should not exceed the crime, so a person who runs a stop sign shouldn't get the death penalty. By the same token, reactions to certain stimuli are not acceptable. Even if a woman were walking (illegally) naked down a street, it is still against the law to rape her.

It is against the law for one person to kill another because the second person is annoying.

It is legal for a woman to show cleavage, but it is illegal for a man to touch without permission. It is illegal for him to badger or coerce her.


Men will choose whatever expression of sexuality is natural to them.


And if that choice is against the law, they will reap the consequences of their actions.


HAHAHA sounds like you would like to get dirty messages.


Your reaction to her action is out of proportion--definitely NOT equal.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 72
Contradictions
Posted: 12/29/2011 12:36:01 PM
Gwen:
Geez, now we scandalous women are fighting over who gets to answer the "beach" comment. (Grin.)


We scandalous women need to stick together.

s.nixon89:
…its just stereotypes of women...putting up revealing pictures may mean they want to show there adventurous or not afraid to be flirty or dirty and they can but doesnt give everyone the right to send sexual comments...


Exactly. Men know that women are sexual. Men should also know how to approach a woman. Insisting that all women behave certain ways to suit hypocritical male ideals or accept being insulted by them is ridiculous. I’m doubting males anticipate only non-sexual relationships with women.

Women can only be sexual when it’s convenient or appropriate?


it's pointless to argue personal stuff.


That’s because I refuted your point. You brought it up… while deflecting my original question…which you’ve unintentionally answered, btw.


Point being if you flaunt something, expect feedback and this whole thread is about contradictory reactions.


I don’t expect disrespectful remarks because you tell me to. You don’t speak for your gender, apparently someone needs to tell you that.

Males who are intimidated by women approach them (if they can muster up the guts to approach them at all) with disrespect…much like the six year old boy who pulls pigtails.

Gwen:
Your reaction to her action is out of proportion--definitely NOT equal.


Desperately juvenile, too.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 73
Contradictions
Posted: 12/29/2011 1:25:36 PM

It is legal for a woman to show cleavage, but it is illegal for a man to touch without permission


The law is not gender specific. This goes both ways, I saw where a lenscrafters was sued because a man reported a coworker that repeatedly grabbed his crotch and made sexual advances and lenscrafters did nothing about it, obviously since it was coming from a man, men are suppose to enjoy these things right?

I had this happen to me at work as well, I told the mgr and she laughed it off. So I had to go to the District Supervisor about it. The woman that grabbed my crotch got fired. I was happy since they did something about it...if they had not I was prepared to sue the company as well. There is a time and place for everything and work is not the place for stuff like that. From either gender.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 74
Contradictions
Posted: 12/29/2011 3:12:32 PM
Fleuron:
Women can only be sexual when it’s convenient or appropriate?


It goes back to the madonna/whore "thing." Some men still want Eve in public but Lilith in the bedroom.

Good Catch:
The law is not gender specific. This goes both ways,


Of course laws are not gender specific, but this thread is about women showing their goods and men having the "right" to disrespect them.

I saw a profile this morning where the primary photo is of a shirtless, well muscled man. Most of his photos emphasize his muscular physique. In his profile blurb, he protests that women send him "nasty emails" accusing him of seeking only "Barbie dolls" and that he is "hung up" on himself. He sounds like a nice guy, and women are prejudging him BASED ON HIS PICTURES, but I have to admit, it "looks" as if his muscles are his most attractive assets. If he posts such pictures, isn't it hypocritical of him to be upset because women send nasty emails to him? Especially if he has received so many that he discusses it on his profile? Should we women not think that he is inviting sexual comments by baring his chest?

Or is this a different case because he is male and men can show their chests in public with no sexual connotations attached?
 coastalmermaid
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 75
Contradictions
Posted: 12/29/2011 5:34:47 PM
Apparently in the case of POF it's ok for guys by the thousands to show pics of themselves in nothing but shorts, towels, boxers etc. and not expect sexual comments from women and NOT ok for women to post similar revealling shots of themselves and not expect to be disrespected. Seems like all too often the guys on here are complaining that women are misrepresenting themselves and not being honest in their pics and then complain when they can see... Talk about CONTRADICTIONS...."can't win for losing" is quite correct.

Yes before women were declared, "persons under the law" by the British courts not so many years ago...and for many years afterwards...the attire and behavior of women was blamed by men as perfect justification for rape or abuse of any kind. The kind of thinking that the OP is representing is nothing but a watered down version of the remnants of this belief.

How we CHOOSE to RE-act to certain stimuli is a measure of our values and belief systems and our understanding and acceptance of societal norms. Men who send out disrespectful messages to women truly believe this behavior is acceptable to women and a viable means to an end. These beliefs would in no way be compatable with my own. I do love the self-eliminating factor.
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