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 fuzzyhaze
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 1
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very lonelyPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
i know that it's common on this supposedly happy day to be lonely but I'm
finding this lonely feeling unbearable. how do others cope with the lonely feelings?
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 2
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very lonely
Posted: 12/25/2011 12:53:13 PM
Have you run out of people to phone and wish a happy bah humbugmas?

Avoiding the TV is probably a good idea so you dont have to see all the christmas references I suppose

Other than that try to think what you would be doing if this was a sunday in november, then do that.

IE, treat it as any other ordinary day in the year as it does seem a lot of people that have an issue with the hieghtened loneliness at christmas also set themselves up for it by creating a christmassy enviroment to rub it in constantly which is a bit daft and counterproductive really

You could also have gone out feeding some homeless people too, that can ram home how much better your "lonely" christmas is compared to other peoples lonely christmas
 fuzzyhaze
Joined: 8/18/2007
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very lonely
Posted: 12/25/2011 2:30:03 PM
thanks everyone for replies...iceache i appreciate your take on it,you hit the right spot !!

..i know there are others worse off than me. I work with lots of them but you can feel lonely in a crowded room and its a feeling that can encroach at anytime!
 fuzzyhaze
Joined: 8/18/2007
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very lonely
Posted: 12/25/2011 3:09:21 PM
Thanks hereagain :-)
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
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very lonely
Posted: 12/25/2011 4:08:19 PM

tell me about it! you're not on your own though


Actually she is, thats kind of the point of the thread really

And yep, loneliness is a state of mind........






.........induced by a lack of alcohol
 baza045
Joined: 11/22/2009
Msg: 6
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very lonely
Posted: 12/26/2011 1:13:41 AM
Hello all . yes i had a bad day on christmas day so came on here to chat and for some reason i was block after a chat with someone for no reason that i could see .. i hate this time of year ...
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 7
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very lonely
Posted: 12/26/2011 5:05:24 AM
i think a lot of people mistake lonely for depressed.
i'm quite lonely in as much as my job means i don't have much of a social life, i would like to have a good convo sometimes, but if it bothered me that much i would just get off me arse, get out n do something about it.
those that are really depressed rather than just lonely, seem to prefer to do nothing but sit and moan about it.
 fuzzyhaze
Joined: 8/18/2007
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very lonely
Posted: 12/26/2011 2:29:49 PM
Lot of interesting replies on this,thanks everyone. Think its lot of things making me feel so lonely. one post said its depression and dont think it is that.I've had depression for years and never felt lonely with it. got a good job which i love, nice kids and grandkids so im very lucky!!
but its this empty ache that i find hard to deal with. Separated from my ex 9 years ago and he was only serious relationship ive ver had,was a very abusive marriage and lasted 25 years. Havent had the confidence to meet someone else and i think thats the lonely feeling...would have loved to have a 'normal' relationship not one that sapped my confidence and self esteem..anyway as many of you have said 2012 is only days away and who knows what it may bring...:-)
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
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very lonely
Posted: 12/26/2011 3:29:26 PM
"Havent had the confidence to meet someone else and i think thats the lonely feeling...would have loved to have a 'normal' relationship not one that sapped my confidence and self esteem..anyway as many of you have said 2012 is only days away and who knows what it may bring...:-)"

thats easy to answer, more of the same!
sounds like you've got yourself into a rut, you've developed habits and it's easier to follow them.
the above i quoted sounds like you're hoping someone will get you out of that rut, thats too much to expect of anyone.
it wouldn't do anything for your confidence or self esteem either even if someone did.
"you" have to break the cycle, "you" have to do things you wouldn't normally do, since i know nothing about you i wouldn't know what to suggest.
but if you wouldn't normally speak to a stranger, then that could be a good place to start, don't just go to a bus stop, ask someone if they know when the next one is due.
put your watch in your pocket, then if you want to know the time ask whoever is nearest.
that kind of thing, hopefully you'll find it's painless then you can build on it.
sorry if i've got it all wrong but i never had much to go on.
 fuzzyhaze
Joined: 8/18/2007
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very lonely
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:35:01 AM
try1more,thanks for your advice and very true. get myself into a rut that is my comfort blanket and need throw that off and build up my own self esteem and confidence. as you say no one else can do that for me. how do I do that? i don't know but need to find ways or like you say 2012 will be more of the same!...thanks:-)
 fuzzyhaze
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 11
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very lonely
Posted: 12/27/2011 3:07:18 PM
thanks aperture man, good advice.tried counselling and didnt work for me...believe it or not i actually counsel other people!!so much easier to do for others but not yourself...:-)
 Allan Anger
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 12
very lonely
Posted: 12/31/2011 6:04:21 AM
Watch some "Sienfeld" reruns,,,That should do it...
 fuzzyhaze
Joined: 8/18/2007
Msg: 13
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very lonely
Posted: 1/5/2012 1:47:18 AM
once again thanks everyone for your replies...think I need to get myself motivated and move out my comfort zone and back into experiencing life again. all to easy too detach yourself from it so that you don't get hurt again but that's not living its just existing and I need to get a life!! belated happy new year everyone!!:-)
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