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 SunDevil_in_SC
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 29
Hidden meanings behind giftsPage 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Sounds like he's going to lose no matter what he gives her.


True dat, Landra.

OP, it sounds like he's a nice guy ... let him chew off his leg and escape the oppressive chains of your friend's expectations ... after all, it's Christmas.

 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 30
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:35:46 AM

she craves more intimacy & sex IMO


Don't we all ! LOL Just need to find the right person to crave it with now. Should be easy, right ? LOL
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 31
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:40:05 AM
No hidden meaning. No meaning at all, really. Purely pragmatic. That’s the problem.
Gifts on special occasions are supposed to have hidden meanings, or at least some meanings.

Nice that he’s thinking of household needs. Next he could think about her emotional needs, her need for a gift that speaks of his feelings for her alone. Something he can put in her heart, not in the cupboard or on the patio.

Save those gifts for other occasions, like say the first Thursday in spring or the Saturday before their next big dinner party. But her birthday calls for something a little more personal.
 Buckets_of_Sky
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 32
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:42:15 AM
Wow, your friend is an ungrateful shrew!!!

My suggestion to her, leave the clueless **stard and find another man that will give her all the gifts she seems to think she deserve. I bet there are thousands lining up at her door to take his place.


 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 33
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:42:44 AM
Guys, just remember next time giving a gift- her BF should be flattered she think of him as her LOVER...I think this is all just a huge miscommunication- sad cuz when we think this way, we all LOSE

Did you see me last night
I was there in the dark
I saw her look at you, the way I used to
When I still had your heart.

I watched you take her hand
There was love in your eyes
I remember when you looked at me that way too
Before we said good-bye

I don't want to be your friend
I just want to be your lover
I don't think I can pretend
That you mean nothing to me

It's hard enough to say good-bye
Even when you know it's over
I don't want to be your friend
I want to be your lover and when I think I've had enough
And I just can't stand the pain
I reminisce about the way it felt
To have you every day
You know that every time I hear your voice
I still get a thrill
And there's nothing I can do about it

Am I gone from your thoughts, forgotten somehow
When you be there with her
Does my memory stir, any part of you now
I know that I should concede, face the truth and all that
I know I should realize I'm not a part of your life anymore,
But I can't

I don't want to be your friend
I just want to be your lover
I don't think I can pretend
That you mean nothing to me

It's hard enough to say good-bye
Even when you know it's over
I don't want to be your friend
I want to be your lover

by Pat Benetar
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 34
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Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:45:35 AM
Agrees w/ message 33... a guy who gets it

"Nice that he’s thinking of household needs. Next he could think about her emotional needs, her need for a gift that speaks of his feelings for her alone. Something he can put in her heart, not in the cupboard or on the patio."

well said.....
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 35
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:46:16 AM

Well he did it again! My best friend’s bf gave her lawn furniture for Xmas & she is furious!
Last year he gave her an outdoor propane grill, for Valentines he gave her a set of dishes & for her birthday he gave her pots & pans. She says these are “mommy” gifts & if he thought of her as a girl friend & lover he would give her things she could wear, (perfume, jewelry, lingerie). She is so upset she is contemplating breaking up with him. They have dinner parties at her house quite frequently & she has mentioned that she wanted/needed these items, but is there really hidden meanings behind gifts?


She has every right to be upset... and why the hell is she still dating him! He has insulted her time and time again.
 SunDevil_in_SC
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 36
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:51:08 AM
Guys, just remember next time giving a gift- her BF should be flattered she think of him as her LOVER...I think this is all just a huge miscommunication- sad cuz when we think this way, we all LOSE


So you are saying *EVERY* woman (half the world's population) just wants a romantic gift, huh? They just want perfume, lingerie, and such?

That's where the house of cards comes falling down. Yes, I can appreciate it that you would like that as a gift in that situation ... but each person is truly unique. That's why we talk to one another to know what our preferences are.

That's why he should drop her. I don't mean it to be cruel, but this is a powderkeg waiting to go off ... today it is "knowing exactly her expectations" what to get for gifts, but tomorrow is knowing exactly her expectations are for something else. And apparently, it sounds like her avenue to communicate this is to vent it to a friend, and not to him. Yeah, this relationship is going to work ... yesssireee ...


Nice that he’s thinking of household needs. Next he could think about her emotional needs, her need for a gift that speaks of his feelings for her alone. Something he can put in her heart, not in the cupboard or on the patio.


Do you do this with gifts, or do you do this with deeds? Do you save this for an occasion, or do you practice this every day?
 4UMS
Joined: 10/13/2011
Msg: 37
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:54:03 AM

My best friend’s bf gave her lawn furniture for Xmas & she is furious! Last year he gave her an outdoor propane grill, for Valentines he gave her a set of dishes & for her birthday he gave her pots & pans.


Sounds completly okay for Christmas. I think the Valentines present is where he went wrong.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 38
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:56:33 AM

So you are saying *EVERY* woman (half the world's population) just wants a romantic gift, huh? They just want perfume, lingerie, and such?

no, I know how I feel, but that's me...but her friend's description clues me in...I don't just want a romantic gift, I want a romantic man in a romantic relationship, I want to be free to give him all of that & more, but he has to want it just as much as I do... and it's not just about sex...
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 39
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Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:08:22 AM
Frankly, if I were the boyfriend in this situation, this coming Valentines day, I would get her a gift that she would never forget, and settle the matter one and for all:

An order of protection.

To me this woman sounds like a user and gold digger. No making her happy, so don't even try.

The guy would do well to leave her.
 SunDevil_in_SC
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 40
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:09:33 AM

no, I know how I feel, but that's me...but her friend's description clues me in...I don't just want a romantic gift, I want a romantic man in a romantic relationship, I want to be free to give him all of that & more, but he has to want it just as much as I do... and it's not just about sex...


Well then, that is as good enough reason for him to dump her, or vice-versa, right? If he has to be "romantic" for every gift, then he doesn't pass her threshold.

Let him date a women of like mind, and vice versa.

However, the thing is this: they have been dating one another for quite a while. She had to have known how he thinks about things. My guess is that he's not a romantic guy at heart ... I don't think that he went "reverse Scrooge" overnight and went from being a romantic guy on Christmas Eve to being an unromantic guy on Christmas day.

And the thing that I'm taking a little bit of reluctance to is that the romantic side has to be automatically-implied. After all, there have been enough women that have replied to this thread that show that this isn't the case. Talk things over. During the initial dates, note that you're wanting to only be in relationships with guys that are romantic guys. Then, he should know where he stands on things since you've communicated it to him - and he can decide to stay or leave.
 edjoecdn
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 42
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Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:17:08 AM
LOL, "your friend" or is it you ??

No matter, the gift, any gift; says a lot about the person..
Men ( if we're generalizing- which isn't really fair b/c personally "people " are people... )

But men "generally"... are a practical lot... few ( if any men) I know, would prefer a new house coat or cologne over something that is practical... "few" not all!!

Thus the "people are people" statement... However, there are all the different types of people to contend with... if "YOUR FRIEND" is materialistic and simply wants fodder for the weekly girls night out... then pffft !

If she's not appreciative of getting a gift at all... then she needs a crash course in "hard- luck"!

Now if I received a gift that seemed just the fastest, easiest "on sale" thing.. then it was merely a materialistic token of giving... But if it was something needed.. then THAT speaks volumes to that person...

They listened to what was said previously ( A HUGE accomplishment for a man to start off with ) ..lol and spent the time and the effort to get something to help this person out...
 SunDevil_in_SC
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 43
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:17:58 AM

She started complaining to me a few months before Xmas, saying if he doesn't buy me something romantic, I'm dropping him. My comment, tell the man exactly what you want, take him shopping & show him. Her comment.....NO, his gifts are a reflection of how he thinks/feels about me & if he buys me "mommy" gifts it's over.


Uhm ... can we say "crutch?"

This has nothing to do with gifts.

I'm not even sure this has anything to do with him being romantic.

It just is that your friend is not into him any longer, but doesn't want to be the "bad" person to give the negative news around the holidays.
 jt guy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 44
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:25:01 AM
OP: I don't blame your gf for being mad. Tell her the only way to get even with her bf is to send all those gifts to me. That way she will not be reminded how bad a bf she has when she looks at those "Mommy" gifts.

Heck, I will even go to Goodwill and buy her some jewelry and other things she wants, just to show her how romantic I am.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 45
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:27:11 AM
Lawn furniture is bad? That seems like an awesome Christmas gift!!

Jewelery is understandable; because it screams (lok, my bf wants me to show off!) <--As dumb as it is; status is something I understand. *sigh*

Perfume is a boring "nothing else to give" gift. (Perfume is low on the totem in my world) <--What's next deodorant?

Lingerie is more for him then her!!


I would say the hidden meaning behind these gifts is " he thinks she's a keeper" why else would he buy household items?


Much better than: a bottle of gin, some whore stink, some Sexwax (as cool as it is), and some lingirie.

Your friend needs to give her head a shake.

I agree also with buddy who said that those other things are more for Valentines Day. Now a patio set does NOT make sense for that one. (unless she says she really needs/weants one) <--In that case; "everything" makes sense. (I would have to do more of a panty spicer on VD though; that's just how I'm built)


My comment, tell the man exactly what you want, take him shopping & show him. Her comment.....NO, his gifts are a reflection of how he thinks/feels about me & if he buys me "mommy" gifts it's over.


Your gf is an idiot.


For Xmas she bought him, (them) a trip to La Playa


Oooo; now THAT is when lingerie WORKS!
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 46
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:36:03 AM
Yes tell her to break up with him and send him my contact info. He's my kinda guy, perfect and very generous gifts IMO. I don't wear jewelry or lingerie and prefer to buy my own perfume. Have lots of outdoor living areas where i prefer to hangout and entertain. What does the lawn furniture look like? Maybe he could just take it back and bring it right over to my place? Shoots i could use another grill too!
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 47
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:38:25 AM
I've been thinking about this thread some more - mainly because I have nothing better to do at this moment in time.

I still stand by my comment that as a practical person, I like practical gifts.
I still think that because this is very personal, as per my original comment, this needs to be discussed as your friend is so upset by this matter.
I still think that a gift is a gift and should be accepted in the manner in which it was given - i.e. he did think she would like it as she had mentioned the items he has purchased as gifts.

All that said, I can see the validation of these views too -


Sounds completely okay for Christmas. I think the Valentines present is where he went wrong.



...he could think about her emotional needs, her need for a gift that speaks of his feelings for her alone. Something he can put in her heart, not in the cupboard or on the patio.


I guess the bigger issue here is relationships with lovers are different then any other relationships we have in our lives. There are different emotions invested in that person then any other person we love.

Maybe, the acknowledgement of that, does at times, need to be made. That special gift which does speak to her heart rather then her practical needs.

Maybe I could have lingerie with my socket set, please ?
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 48
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Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 10:45:46 AM
I wish I have a BF like your best friend's BF who gave nice practical things, unlike my late husband he gave me gifts from Frederick's that I can't show of to my friends, like teeny bitsy see through panties & bras. I don't trust men when it comes to jewelries and perfumes............
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 49
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 11:02:07 AM

Posted By: iiceiice on 12/26/2011 1134 AM
Subject: Hidden meanings behind gifts
Message: Hidden message.... she mentions wanting something and he buys it.... maybe she neds to mention wanting something personal....

I love him and I don't even know him.... I could use some patio furniture....

what did she get him??


Ha, great answer.

My ex gave me used slippers for Xmas one year. Tell her she's pretty damn lucky from my perspective.
 cutenperky2
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 50
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 11:09:16 AM
Lawn furniture and a grill last year. What an amazing guy. All the women I know married and single have got much less than that. He is very generous and thoughtful to give such practical gifts. If she is fuirous she is strange I thinnk anyone i know would be thrilled to recieve such thoughtful loving gifts. I think that she should break up with this guy so that another woman who is not so spoiled and demanding could actually appreciate him he sounds like a great guy.Sad for me to see a woman so ungrateful .. The guy gave them to her with the best of intentions hoping she would love them. No one gives a gift hoping the person is not happy. No matter what this woman got there would probably be no making her happy.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 51
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Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 11:13:51 AM
I've also have nothing better to do at this moment so have been thinking about it more. My ex once bought me a mixer, I wasn't impressed.
My last bf was the best when it came to gift giving. Occasions were jewellery/perfume/personal items. Everyday spur of the moment gifts were things I needed for the house. While not rich he regularly bought me things he knew I'd enjoy.
Another man I dated years ago when my kids were young sent me elaborate flower arrangements every week. Had to have cost at least $100.00. Was I impressed? No. At the time I couldn't even pay my utilities and every time I looked at those arrangements all I could think about was how much money was wasted on something I didn't need. I know he was probably trying to spoil me knowing my situation.
So I guess it all comes down to needs/wants/expectations which will differ from person to person.
I am surprised that after 2 years she hasn't had the intelligence to just suggest to him that she prefers more personal items. So hard to find someone compatible and she breaks up with him for this reason, I think she just wants out and this is a good excuse.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 52
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 11:16:21 AM

My comment, tell the man exactly what you want, take him shopping & show him. Her comment.....NO, his gifts are a reflection of how he thinks/feels about me & if he buys me "mommy" gifts it's over.


Okay,for future reference,girls and guys,,,reread this one hundred,one thousand or how ever many times it takes. If YOU don't say anything, don't think ANY of us can read your freaking minds.

Not everyone thinks the same. So if you want to sit in the corner,not saying anthing to the person that is causing you to whine to everyone else but that person, you get what you deserve.

Sorry OP,,,,but your friend is in this category.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 53
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 11:23:11 AM
In a loving relationship I know I take extra care in choosing the thoughtful gift,


The best way to do that, with a guy like me, is to be thoughtful enough to ask.

On those off years when I have no clue what I want or need; thoughtful's sweet.


 SunDevil_in_SC
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 54
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 11:29:03 AM
Walts, it is more obvious than that ... her friend *KNEW* he wouldn't give her a romantic gift.

Dress, let me give you a translation: "Dress, what I am giving you here is a romantic 'line in the sand' that I'm giving him. Thus, when he doesn't cross it, I plan on coming to you after Christmas to get sympathy from you for my situation. Also, by him not showing his romantic side, it clearly shows that he is a heel, and I am clearly in the right."

ps: I hope she has a date lined up for Prom ...
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