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 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 82
Hidden meanings behind giftsPage 4 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Because all gifts have some sort of secret meaning to it. If I was living with a girlfriend and I gave her an eviction notice for Christmas, then there is a meaning behind that. Or if I had a girlfriend that I was living with and I got some other girl that wasn't her a gift, then there is a meaning behind it too.

Stop reading into it, too much.
 SugarCoatedCookies
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 83
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 5:11:11 PM
What would be the hidden meaning of getting a puppy for Christmas? Just wondering
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 84
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 5:16:17 PM
It's obvious she talked about wanting some patio furniture so he was probably so excited to get it for her as a surprise. I can only imagine his face when she got angry with him.

I was in a long term relationship where he bought me candles every year. I would make a huge thank you fuss and he'd just beam. I still have a few left to burn. But I was thrilled he thought of me to buy me anything. Some guys are just that way and it doesn't mean there is a hidden message.

She might want to appreciate the man and then look at what he does or buys for her again.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 85
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 5:16:41 PM
Its the old (Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus).


I thought it was "Women are from Visa".

When I got married, my wife's grandmother gave us a quilt that she made. I was extremely touched by that ... it wasn't the most expensive gift


But certainly is priceless.

:)

Nice grandma!!

P.s. Those things can sell for thousands (literally) at the mennonite Market here.

P.s.s. I MISS grandma sweaters. Those DESTROYED mosts store mades..in every way.

 SugarCoatedCookies
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 86
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 5:41:01 PM
Oh yes, Grandmas quilts, had a few of those :)

Oh and I have my own Visa from Venus
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 87
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History
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 6:32:25 PM
men are clueless sometimes. I think men should give romantic gifts

It's women like you who are clueless for two reasons ...

One ... you do NOT have the right to dictate and demand what a gift should be.

And two ... the OP's friend said she wanted those practical items.

I keep encouraging her to tell him she wants romantic gifts, but she thinks he should just know this

This is the sickening "princess" attitude another poster on the thread had mentioned. Your friend should get off the high pedestal that she's put herself on. It's this kind of entitlement that is the basis of relationship breakups.

Yep, you got it right RockyDakota. I'm begining to think she wants him to put a ring on it. Too bad she's going about it the wrong way


Seriously. Being ungrateful for what he has given her, immediately sends red flags

Yes. The only thing the dude needs to clue-in on is ... ditching the ungrateful broad.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 88
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 6:58:20 PM
So she "mentioned" that she wanted/needed those items, he buys them for her (saving her money on buying them herself), and she's upset?

She should try communicating what she *really* wants instead of expecting him to read her mind.

And, of course, the last GF I bought jewelry for, she gave it to a friend because she didn't like it (not "her style")... of course that's the same GF that stopped when we were shopping to look at wedding rings, and pointed to the most expensive one ($10K!) and said "that's the one I'd want..." - to me the most gaudy/ugly one of the bunch. (I did, however, know her favorite perfume - which I got her for xmas every year, as well as 'practical' things).

... this is why I tell everyone to buy me things like socks & underwear, t-shirts, etc... things that I'll always need/use, and wear out eventually. Nothing is worse than some 'trinket' that'll sit on a shelf or in a box gathering dust.

(edit: and yet, one GF just a few years ago was crying when I gave her $500 to pay towards the clutch in her truck that went right at Xmas time. Practical? yes. Romantic, maybe not so much - but appreciated).
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 89
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 7:01:26 PM
They certainly don't sound like cheap items so you can't fault the guy for being cheap.I have to say though that lawn furniture does not warm the heart.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 90
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 7:08:06 PM

452 :I have to say though that lawn furniture does not warm the heart.


It does if it's made of wood and you burn it.
 Imclassique
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 91
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 7:18:50 PM
It's not the one for her - she needs her needs met to be happy.
 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 92
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 7:22:36 PM
You should tell your ungrateful, selfish, childish, immature friend that the most romantic thing in the world is to be listened to. And he's been listening.

What a stupid twit your friend is!
(Hopefully, only in this one way.)

If she won't tell him she occasionally wants something 'sexy' then she should expect to be disappointed every time.

You should tell her that after two years, you don't want to hear her 'gift' complaints anymore. If she continues to complain about 'higher meaning' in these gifts, then get her a tarot deck or a pop psychology book.
 bhri
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 93
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 7:25:19 PM

The gifts he has bought her are really nice & high dollar. He put a lot of thought into them. The dishes are one of a kind that he had made just for her. The patio furniture is exceptional! Same with the propane grill, which he has now added on & it's part of an outdoor kitchen.

I wish she'd get pizzed enough to start giving away what he has bought her, LOL I want the dishes, JK

For Xmas she bought him, (them) a trip to La Playa, a sweater, a hand made pipe, not sure what else.


Seriously, is she for real. I mean One of a kind dishes for someone who entertains a lot and probably mentioned it to him. Exceptional patio furniture. The propane grill, maybe not the best choice. But he added to it and made an outdoor kitchen (so look at it as the beginning portion of the gift. In other words, in retrospect, another exceptional gift). Now all of these are practical. But they sound like he put a lot of thought in to them. And that she did mention she wanted some, if not all, of them.

How about, did he want the vacation to La Playa? Or would he prefer a different vacation? Not everybody wants a vacation to a beach. Some people prefer "active" vacations or "educational" where they can see and learn about different cultures. The vacation is also a gift to herself. I am not sure how romantic that is. A sweater? And she is complaining. Really.

Both gave really nice gifts. But which one of the two put more thought in to it? Obviously neither one sounds like they are hurting for cash. So a vacation does not seem like a lot of thought. Just a lot of money. The bf's gifts appear to have a lot more thought behind them. Not that I am saying the vacation is a bad gift. But what if he did buy a vaction to Paris? Would she have been upset because it was the wrong time of the year? Or that he did not ask her if she could get time off?

A lot of men are practical. I know that I hate giving gifts. I give jewelery because it is easy. I would much rather give something that has been mentioned to me that someone needs (made that mistake once). So, yeah, I give something that she thinks is romantic when I do not see it the same way. I generally get stuff I do not care that much for except that I can see that effort was put in to it (and that is what counts most for me).
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 94
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 7:28:53 PM
You should tell your ungrateful, selfish, childish, immature friend that the most romantic thing in the world is to be listened to. And he's been listening.


Hell of a good point.



It's true Op; your friend is a dumb dumb girl


How about, did he want the vacation to La Playa? Or would he prefer a different vacation? Not everybody wants a vacation to a beach. Some people prefer "active" vacations or "educational" where they can see and learn about different cultures. The vacation is also a gift to herself.


Probably exactly what it is.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 95
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 7:38:53 PM
Yeah damned if you do damned if you don't...speaking of hidden meanings idk about some of the other stuff too...

Perfume: May be translated...you stink or I hate your current perfume....
Jewelry: Could be translated...I want to take this to the next level...ready or not...
Lingerie: Just might be translated...I NEED this to want to have sex with you.

So even in the gifts she may WANT could be hidden meanings for the bad things too...my point is if you're looking for a hidden meaning then that is what you will find. If you're not looking for one then its a gift and well appreciated.

Household appliances was a welcome gift...I got a new microwave for Christmas from the folks... t0 me!!!
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 96
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History
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 8:19:24 PM
I'm glad I came to this thread, I need to pay attention to details......anybody know where I can find a pink lawn tractor?
 Lookingforsalmon
Joined: 8/7/2011
Msg: 97
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 8:27:36 PM
I can't believe that your best friend would be furious over a gift. It is a g-i-f-t. There ought to be no strings attached with a gift, otherwise it stops being a gift and becomes an investment or a loan. She has some issues to deal with. No one owes her a gift of any kind, especially not a particular type of a gift.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 98
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 8:35:36 PM
anybody know where I can find a pink lawn tractor?


I'm sure Dollyland has a few.


 carptopus
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 99
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:55:49 PM

My best friend’s bf gave her lawn furniture for Xmas & she is furious!

If someone gets mad over a gift not being what they wanted then it's not really a gift it's perceived as a payment for something.

So maybe she should just start asking for cash so she can buy whatever she wants.
Save stress all around.


is there really hidden meanings behind gifts?

Gifts are shortcuts. Their meaning isn't being hidden.
All gifts mean something, what they mean isn't being hidden, you just have to try and see it from the givers perspective if you want to understand the meaning.
Which is what learning to communicate is about.
 NJ_Phil
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 100
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/26/2011 9:59:15 PM
I gave my wife a vacuum cleaner for her birthday one year...we were married about 20 years. What a mistake that was.

Women need gifts from their mate that make them feel pretty, feel happy, feel in love. Gifts they are proud of and can show their friends. Christmas, Birthday, Anniversaries are to get gifts that women want, not what they need. This may change after being together after many years, but not during the early stages of a relationship.

IMO
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 101
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Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/27/2011 1:42:45 AM
Somebody earlier mentioned men are from mars women are from venus

I think that was more apt than many realise with things like this.

Women do tend to be (on average) far more calculating, devious and manipulative than men, so they are usually "hiding" meanings within their gifts when they give them

Men on the other hand tend to be (on average) far more literal and to the point. So the gifts they give are more often just "as is"

But, women will tend to "assume" theres a hidden meaning because they do it, so they will assume men do the same. Men on the other hand wont look for a hidden meaning, because they DONT do it, so they will "assume" women dont either and therein lies the problem

Wbere a woman seems hellbent on finding some negative hidden meaning in a gift it actually says far more about her, and how she feels about the relationship than anything else

Usually its her (not him) who is tiring of the relationship, and her (not him) who is probably looking for reasons to end it

And so with every gesture, word, gift or behavioural trait she will be looking for negatives or attributing negative intent so she can justify her exit strategy and transfer the "reason" it will end onto him

A woman who actually does love her partner and knows he loves her will just laugh off silly gifts and will know her partner well enough to already realise that her idea of a "good" gift and his idea of a good gift are planets apart, and will find it amusing and probably just take the piss out of how crap he is at choosing gifts

One who doesnt though, will just quietly sit and fester about what nasty hidden meaning he had, she will talk to everyone EXCEPT him about it, or rather than joking about it will be quite snidey and nasty but usually without even letting on why she is being that way


And lets face it, if somebody, male or female "needs" a christmas gift to make them feel "sexy/wanted/attractive" or whatever then either the relationship is already on the rocks anyway or that person has some serious self image problems they need to address that WONT be fixed by somebody else buying them the right "trinket" for more than a very short period
 Julietsdestiny
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 102
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/27/2011 5:22:37 AM
Saves her buying these items.....What does he buy her for Valentines Day?
Prawns are always good for the Barbie.....
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 103
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/27/2011 5:31:34 AM

I believe there is a hidden message there, that he'd like her to be more sexy or womanly, and I think she should get the message and make a little effort for her husband. But, they've been successfully and apparently happily married for over 30 years, so he has apparently accepted that she isn't the type to wear perfume (or make up, or color her hair). But he still keeps hinting.
I used to work w/ a woman who BRAGGED that after she had her 2nd child @ the age of 23, she stopped having sex w/ her husband. She is dumpy looking, wears no makeup, perfume, does not color her hair. She seems crazy/miserable & her husband seems pissed all the time. Their kids are in their 20's now. She said every year for Xmas her hubby would give her lingerie & every year she'd put it in the bottom drawer and never look at it again. Her husband "works late" every Friday night, so at this point, the gift is a smokescreen IMO. But that's another story...
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 104
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/27/2011 5:37:07 AM

And lets face it, if somebody, male or female "needs" a christmas gift to make them feel "sexy/wanted/attractive" or whatever then either the relationship is already on the rocks anyway or that person has some serious self image problems they need to address that WONT be fixed by somebody else buying them the right "trinket" for more than a very short period

i disagree...i can buy myself sexy lingerie & or sex toys, but if a man i was involved with did, it's very erotic. In fact, going shopping together at one of those adult stores, giggling at stuff & then getting steamed up so badly that we can't wait to get home & end up at a nearby motel trying it out can be alot of fun...
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 105
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/27/2011 7:17:44 AM
Ill buy my own perfume and lingerie...no one ever gets my scent or size correct anyways...lol..I love getting practical gifts.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 106
Hidden meanings behind gifts
Posted: 12/27/2011 11:14:52 AM
Drestin Red- I never have understood why people make gift giving so stressful.
A gift comes from the heart.
It's true that some people just don't put forth the effort and that speaks volumes (my ex, for one).
Your friends bf just sounds a little clueless.
Unless there are MUCH larger issues at play, I wouldn't break up over it.
Tell her to give the poor man a break and just tell him what she wants.
(and, no, I don't think gifts have hidden meanings)
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