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 AxMurderer
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 26
Ex tells me he misses me Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Get some closure. Find out why he left.

Then go from there.
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 27
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 1/14/2012 12:27:02 PM
It's called the D.E.N.N.I.S. system. You can see it played out on "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia". Basically it is just:

1. Demonstrate value
2. Engage physically
3. Nurture dependence
4. Neglect emotionally
5. Inspire hope
S. Separate entirely.

It appears you may be at the inspire hope stage. This is where the most intense sex takes place. After this, of course, comes the separate entirely phase, where things end and you are left feeling used and manipulated.

I actually prefer Frank's SCRAPS system. It is largely dependent on someone having already been a victim of the D.E.N.N.I.S. system. (And the M.A.C. system). Other that that all SCRAPS requires is a pack of Magnum XL condoms and a wad of one hundred dollar bills.

See: http://itsalwayssunny.wikia.com/wiki/The_D.E.N.N.I.S._System
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 28
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Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 1/15/2012 5:40:13 AM
How about a phone call first? Can he look you in the eyes and tell you that he misses you? Then, does his actions match or exceed that? If he can pry himself away from the electronics (damn texting) to do that, it's worth a consideration.
 gaianotvenus
Joined: 11/26/2011
Msg: 29
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 1/15/2012 6:21:33 AM
Three months isn't long enough to establish this kind of love; it takes much longer, usually. He is simply enfatuated with you. If he loved you and was mature and considered your feelings, he would have given you the reason why he broke up with you. He is being a turd and you can safely ignore him.
 Gertrude13
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 30
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 1/16/2012 10:17:11 PM
Two words. Run away.

If this person dumped you with no explanation, he is a douche. Period. That action alone is close to inexcusable.

The fact that he is TEXTING (not verbalizing) that he misses you, with no explanation of his intent, no apology for hurting you (I am assuming you were hurt when he took off the first time) does not bode well at all.

There is a peculiar breed of male out there that likes to keep exes hanging around for the ego boost, or for a spare if need be. Yes, some people say they have maintained friendships with exes. That is fabulous, but I sincerely doubt real friendship can arise from a romance broken with no consensus or explanation.

If you aren't ready to sever ties completely, or feel you need closure, by all means give him the opportunity to explain how things would be different this time around. But please don't let him make you a member of his lovelorn wannabe-harem. It's an unpleasant place to be. Trust me.
 adora71
Joined: 2/8/2010
Msg: 31
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 1/16/2012 11:13:09 PM
Very interesting. I got some "I miss you" texting today from my ex as well. I like Igor's version of the relationship tendrils. Sure, your guy may be missing affection, companionship and sex, but does he really want the relationship?
If you do decide to go back with him as a friend or lover, be cautious.
 Sweet_Lalla
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 32
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 2/7/2012 1:05:03 AM
Cdn Iceman your advise is excellent!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 33
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Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 2/7/2012 1:59:42 AM
^^^^^
Iceman always had great nuggets of wisdom. Hope he comes back.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 34
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 2/7/2012 4:57:05 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I second that one cooldog! If anything, his posts are always SO straight forward, filled with good advice, not to mention tongue-in-cheek humor!

Where is the Iceman????

Iceman.....if you are out there and can hear us, PLEASE come back!



 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 35
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 2/7/2012 8:59:09 AM
"Ex tells me he misses me "
____________________

See I miss my dead dog, but I just know that ain't happening..it's the same thing...
 mountaingirl1990
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 36
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 2/7/2012 10:09:13 PM
Hi all. Thank you for all of your responses.

Maybe it is foolish of me. But I'm giving him a second try. We have been hanging out together for about the last two weeks. It seems like he's really been trying since then. We've actually been talking over the phone, whereas before we'd been communicating only through texting. He brought me breakfast one morning, which I thought was really sweet, and helped me do errands. Everything seems to be going fine...but we talked tonight over the phone. A friend of mine asked me where exactly we were now, in the relationship, or if there was one at all. I told her I wasn't sure. So when he asked what I'd talked with her about, I told him the truth. That I didn't know what to tell her about where we were. He says.."well, I don't know. I think right now that we are just enjoying each others company. I don't really want to put a label on anything because that sets certain expectations." What does he mean by this? That he's not interested in getting back together, or that he just wants to see where things are going just yet? His actions and what he says just don't seem to fit. He flipped my Claddaggh ring around when we were together one day, and he knows what it means, so I thought that we were "together"....when we were talking he defined himself as "your boy", and we talk just about every day through phone or text. But then the conversation that we had tonight was confusing to me, when he said we were just enjoying each others company and that he didn't want labels.

I really feel connected with him, in a way that I have never felt with any other guy. But I'm confused as to where we are right now and where to go from here. I really want to be with him, but I don't want to end up getting hurt again. Any insight?
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 37
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Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 2/8/2012 12:39:11 AM

But I'm giving him a second try.

The moment you decide to do that, nothing else matters. If you were willing to go back to someone who doesn't even respect you enough to let you know why he broke up with you, what else would you not tolerate?


He says.."well, I don't know. I think right now that we are just enjoying each others company. I don't really want to put a label on anything because that sets certain expectations." What does he mean by this?

No label and no expectations = no obligations. I get everything I want but I am not obligated to do anything for you. And if I am tired of you one day, you need to just go away quietly. Deal?


I really want to be with him, but I don't want to end up getting hurt again. Any insight?

You always risk getting hurt when you open yourself up to someone, the only questions are, how likely and is it worth it? Given his past actions and what he's told you, you have a better chance in winning the lottery than not getting your heart broken (again). Having said that however, you'd probably not be convinced that walking away and moving on is the wiser thing to do, not until you've tried it your way and get burnt as the result first.
 Sasyecats
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 38
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 2/8/2012 12:41:39 PM
It's only been 2 weeks...does it really need a label this soon? This could very well be what scared him off before.

Just have fun. Why put any pressure on it? Trying to read between lines or trying to guess motives usually ends in disaster. Can't you take him for his word?

but if your sleeping with him and he doesn't want to label it your most likely going to get hurt.
 doubles423
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 39
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 2/13/2012 11:48:23 PM
Honestly, I would tell you not to even bother. If you are over the relationship let it go.
 Gertrude13
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 40
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 2/14/2012 3:28:58 AM

He says.."well, I don't know. I think right now that we are just enjoying each others company. I don't really want to put a label on anything because that sets certain expectations." What does he mean by this? That he's not interested in getting back together, or that he just wants to see where things are going just yet? His actions and what he says just don't seem to fit.


What expectations? That the next time he chickens out, he'll actually TALK to you about it?

It appears you may be at the inspire hope stage. This is where the most intense sex takes place. After this, of course, comes the separate entirely phase, where things end and you are left feeling used and manipulated.


I think every one of us posting dire predictions about this boy secretly hopes that you will be the exception that proves the rule - Proof that a leopard can change his spots, and that, with enough patience and understanding, the most emotionally-stunted man can turn into a "real boy."

Just remember...A label isn't always a bad thing. It gives you an idea of where you stand, and you deserve to know that. Value yourself.
 mountaingirl1990
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 41
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 3/5/2012 2:00:44 PM
We've actually been official since valentines day again, and hanging out since late January. :) Things have been going well, but lately I've been wanting to see him more than just once a week, which seems to be the norm. Do you think it is too early on in our rekindling relationship to ask to spend a little more time together? I don't want to push him away again by making a wrong move.
 friendlygirl63
Joined: 3/2/2012
Msg: 42
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 3/6/2012 3:09:04 AM
Ask your heart and do what you wish do and then ready accept what will be...
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 43
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 3/6/2012 4:49:41 AM
OP.........all I can ask you here is.........

Are you stupid????

Why in the world would you go back to someone who didn't respect you enough to give a reason as to why he was leaving? - So he can hurt you again?

As the absent Cdn_Iceman has said....taking someone back gives them the opportunity to hurt you again.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 44
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 3/6/2012 5:22:03 AM
Do you want him back is the question?

I personally would never take an ex back they are exs for a reason.
 keishamarie
Joined: 11/30/2010
Msg: 45
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Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 3/6/2012 6:30:27 AM
the words were already taken from my mouth. I have had an experinec like dis many times before. In yur case i honestly think that someone else came in the picture and he thought that she was better for him than you. It didnt work out and now he wants you back. Yes it will happen again if you take him back. With most men once they get the idea that you will always take them back they always repeat the same cycle. I did it for 5years with one guy. It's too painful and its not worth it. So my advice to u is too let him go and wait for the right guy.
 KoachVetteyNice
Joined: 1/17/2012
Msg: 46
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Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 3/6/2012 7:50:50 AM
whatever or whoever he was into when he was with you has stopped or is no longer exciting... now he want to go backslide into what he know he had for sure... i will be great and more exciting than ever for a minute, as he looks for something else to tie up his time with... he will repeat the same behaviour again with you... yes he wants you back for only till he finds something else.
 mfg1211
Joined: 11/6/2015
Msg: 47
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/27/2015 10:27:00 AM
@koachvetteynice I really don't agree with you
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 48
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Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/27/2015 8:49:59 PM
My guess is that he has not found someone else or it didnt work out and knows you care for him so he will come back for the sex until he is off again, without explanation. Up to you.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 49
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/29/2015 4:19:27 AM
He doesn't miss you. He wants to use you for his convenience and discard you like a piece of garbage -- again.

If you have an iota of self-worth, don't accept him.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 50
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Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/29/2015 9:38:10 AM
I'm sure our long departed OP resolved her issue here nearly 4 years ago when she started this thread.
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