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 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 26
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Racist FamilyPage 2 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Racism will never go away, we are dealing with the human race. There will always be racism of some sorts..be it skin color, language, ethnics within a race, religion..whatever.

My late wife was full blooded Native American, my late daughter married two black men, I am the only white guy in our family (maybe I could get a grant?). I have experienced racism up close and personal, either with my wife, or with my granddaughters, from all colors of skin.

I just consider the source, it's not worth my time to attempt to rebut their ignorance.

OP..how you handle your situation depends on the fortitude of your girlfriend.
Be yourself, you can't anyone else. It doesn't make any difference the color of your skin, some people will like you because of it, some will dislike you because of it. How you and your girlfriend handle the matter is more important. If your girlfriend bends to family pressure, accept it and move on. Nothing more you can do.

As Morgan Freeman has said.."Best way to stop racism, stop talking about it."
 getanet
Joined: 6/10/2011
Msg: 27
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 2:20:09 PM
Gawd, I hope I don't get terribly flamed for this, but....

Have you guys and gals ever had a friend/co-worker who was black and grew up primarily in a "white" neighborhood/upbringing? Have you also had friends/co-workers who were black and grew up primarily in "black" neighborhoods? And you are truly, honestly, saying there is NO difference whatsover in the manner of speech, the vernacular, etc.? BULL. (Sorry.)

I think the "PC Police" are getting a little carried away on this one. I am one who has a problem with overly PC discourse/exchange, as it does what we are seeing here:
denies the fact there ARE differences in people.
 The_Four_95s
Joined: 10/8/2011
Msg: 28
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 2:35:01 PM
Well here's your chance to shine in the face of adversity...no one is granted immunity from racism.

Just one thing I would want to know, when you say you've never dated a black woman are you saying you wouldn't even consider giving a black woman a chance?
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 29
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 3:01:42 PM
If the object of your affection has a racist family, most likely, she is racist also. Oh, sure, she hangs out with black people, she works with them, and even smiles at the camera with them at a Christmas party. But if she is being raised around bigotry all her life, something most definitely rubbed off on them. Have you ever seen the movie "The Help"?
 CowboyFan30
Joined: 12/18/2011
Msg: 30
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 3:03:31 PM
DJ, how did this woman's family show you that the were racist? When they were showing you that they were racist, did you have the courage to say something to them? Did you stand up for yourself? Did you show them that you have balls? Oh wait, I forgot. You "don't act black in any way." I guess that last quoted statement isn't racist, is it? You're not going to win over her family, so I suggest that you whip out your big black **** and **** the **** out of her every chance you get. Oh wait, you're the "whitest black person they have ever met" so I'm guessing you don't have a big black **** like the rest of us real brothers.
 TuffGuy666
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 31
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 3:10:47 PM
However, her family is very raciest....Is there a way to convince her family I am a great guy?


Man, I had a real zinger of the comeback. But...I....will...restrain....myself....

How is this racism from her family manifesting itself?

[I] don't act black in any way.


OK, that made me giggle.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 32
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 3:20:45 PM

Posted By: Pingshooter on 12/28/2011 407 PM
Subject: Racist Family
Message: Racism will never go away, we are dealing with the human race. There will always be racism of some sorts..be it skin color, language, ethnics within a race, religion..whatever.


I disagree, and I also disagree with Morgan Freeman. Racism does not persist b/c it gets negative attention--it persists b/c it gives some people advantages over others. Therefore, ignoring it won't make it go away. Also, there is no way to "prove" that being human means being racist, while there is evidence (from history, biology, anthropology) to show that we are *not* naturally inclined to view "others" as competitors to fear and eliminate.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 33
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 3:55:29 PM

So yes, not all "black" people are the same. That's why people are giving the OP shit. He's rendering blackness monolithic by saying he doesn't "act" black when what he likely means is that he doesn't act like the ghetto thug you see on TV or in rap videos. But for all that, to his sweetie's parents, he's the male version of a NIGGA****. He could shit rainbows and puppies, but as long as they are against black people in general, they are not going to care how he talks, how he carries himself or how he treats their daughter. To THEM, he is just the same as LeShawn and TyQuan rapping about ****es and hoes on TV. So if you have issues, take it up with them.
true dat girl, shytee I wassa sayin, dat mofo , Im gonna bust a cap in his punk ass shyte, that mofo is assed out with dat ho he's hookin up with shyteee, he thinks we all about da dead presidents and shyte like that.

He aint nuttin but a fakin jack
peace outttttttttt

So OP is that better is that being black enough for you Slick?
 NuMeNow
Joined: 12/21/2008
Msg: 34
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Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 4:04:33 PM
Don’t know what else I can add that has not already been posted....many of the opinions/comments have had me laughing out loud!!!!

Have to say that I’ve never been told that “I am the Whitest Black person”...but I have been told that I’m not Black enough....when asked what that meant...usually eluded to the fact that I didn’t know how to cook Caribbean type dishes or listened to Reggae, or was not dark enough!!!...what can I say I grew up in a White family in a very small town on the North West Coast of England with limited media at the time!!!!

As for dealing with a family that is “Racist”...without really knowing what actions/words have been said to make you say that your GF’s family is racist it is hard for me to comment. Perhaps they just don’t like you as a person or they think you nor anyone will be good enough for their daughter, maybe they are racist...however, the only thing that should really matter is how your girlfriend and you see your relationship.
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 35
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 4:20:06 PM
I would move on! I am not even black and the racism I have heard by whites is really gross! Your GF has preconcieved notions about other races that were given to her by her family. Sooner or later they will surface. Who wants all that stress? You'll find someone who loves you and whose family loves you! Screw that family!
 Imclassique
Joined: 12/2/2011
Msg: 36
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 4:31:00 PM
You know for sure you must not push her to go against her family.
You are who you are , - she is who she is.
It's not always about racisim often it is personal preference - different cultures and values and ideals, privilledge and tradition.
We all have choices, - no one wants what they dont want,
you may have had your own way all your life, news for you no one gets their own way all the time, and that is possibly your lesson in life, irrespective of colour creed or religion.
This is like the pot calling the kettle black.
Its a bit like choosing a red car over a black car or a mercedes or a toyota, - a bently or a mini,- to live in a top area or to live in the lower part of town all personal choices.
I am shocked at the accusations of racism and the belief that because of your colour.
Please refrain from thoughts which tend to reside with insult about this girl who you claim to like - I would hate to see your views if you disliked her and her family.
If you dont like them and they dont want you dating their'' girl then thats reason enough.
Find another person like yourself with values the same as yourself, dont punish yourself or her or her family or their choices, - we all have choices, that is what democracy is.
Diplomacy is something you need to look at seriously.
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 37
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 4:58:23 PM
It’s sad to see nowadays there are still people like in the 1930s or 1960s.

Keep your head up high. Act with dignity and integrity. Be yourself and proud of who you are, then you won't feel so bad.

Have you watched the movie “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner”, starred by Sidney Pointier as Dr. John Prentice. Hope your girl is as nice as Joey Drayton in that movie, even though she does not have to be as rich, beautiful and the only daughter as Joey in the movie, then you will have no problem.

Good luck
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 38
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 5:07:56 PM
Charity let me ask you something...

you live in the uk, and ya'll have certain accent there, and even further you have different accents all over the uk. ok so say your son or daughter suddenly came home and was talking like he/she was an american from nyc? and then you found out she/he was dating a guy from nyc, so that was why she/he starting talking like that, cause they are acting american. there are a lot of people in america who "act black". they are white suburans who pretend like they grew up in a poor black area. so i do think there is truth in "acting black". but for the op; he never lived liked that so... someone who is black might ask him why he is acting white! poor guy cant get a break. anyhow i don't think he should put on any kind of act for any family! if i were him i would as fast as possible!
 champali
Joined: 10/29/2011
Msg: 39
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 5:11:12 PM
"Best way to stop racism, stop talking about it."

I guess we should apply your logic to other societal problems e.g. high taxes, joblessness, crime, rising energy costs, and oh yes relationship issues. They should all disappear the minute we stop talking about them!!!!!
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 40
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 5:20:36 PM
Seriously i'm sick of someone being called black whose genetic make up is mixed. Obama is not black either. He's half black and half white. So basically i refuse to call someone black, white, asian or whatever who is of a mixed racial background. Isn't it time humans grow out of this nonsense and for decent people to stop perpetuating the bullsh1t? Having a tiny bit of black genes and being labelled black sounds racist to me.

I live in hawaii and one of my pals is 1/4 hawaiian 3/4 caucasian and everyone kisses her azz since she looks like a hawaiian princess because it's politically correct here to kiss hawaiian azz. She hates it, hates the special benefits those with at least 1/6 th hawaiian genes get over others in the state and refuses to accept them because she hates racism in any form. This is america the last time i checked and we are all supposed to have equality.

I would refer to the o.p. as mixed race but looks white if someone asked me to describe him. Thats as much of a race label he's gonna get out of me.

To the opening poster: Everyone deals with prejudice in one one way or another, it's best to ignore and walk away from these types of people.
 gingerchick30
Joined: 11/5/2011
Msg: 41
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 5:25:07 PM
It DOES suck that even though we're nearly into 2012 and we STILL have people that judge one another on their skin color.

I'd say,if you really care for each other and think that there may be marriage down the road, then it really shouldn't matter what her family thinks. As other posters have said, how often will you guys really have to be together? Also, it shouldn't be that hard for everyone to at least be civil during the times you have to be together like holidays, birthdays, etc...
 KittenCatt
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 42
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 5:28:00 PM
OP.....arghhhh wish you lived near me!

I'm your Busty BBW.....my family lives very far away....and you're so gorgeous!!!

 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 43
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 5:43:19 PM
WOW ... just WOW!

Only in the forums man, can you read stuff like this.

OP ... I think you better come back as you have some explaining to do.

Oyvay!
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 44
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Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 5:56:30 PM
It'll take time. I think everyone has some sort of prejudice. We get over this when we meet someone who changes our perception. If you're a great guy they'll see this eventually.
They may still not want their daughter to marry/have children with you. I worked with an Italian woman. She was freaking out on her daughter because she was dating "an Anglo". I was stunned that she had such prejudice against anyone that wasn't Italian.
If you're up to what may be a losing battle go for it.
Not sure why the social economic scale matters?
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 45
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:07:51 PM
When i seen the phrase "the whitest black man".. i thought.. you arent obama.. haha..

Racism is everywhere.. nothing you can do about it. ageism... fatty phobes.. etc.. you cant win.. its always something.

Please label yourself as mixed race.. and let the "whitest blackman" thing go.. lol..

As a mixed race caucasion.. i would date a mixed race person.. but.. not extemely ethnic sorts.. (that includes polka polish people.).. and im part polish.. haha I am mostly irish.. but you wont catch me doing the Irish Jig.. :))
 hotmerlot
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 46
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:09:01 PM
I have a personal interest in this thread.

We have had a number of very racist people in my family.

But over time that changed slightly.

My uncle married a lovely Asian woman.
My son's partner is from El Salvador.
My cousin had a baby with a Native Candian boy.
Another cousin married a girl from Mexico.

The racists are still racist, but not to these family members. Time made them color blind.

I think that eventually words like racism will pass out of common language and the children of the future will never hear that word.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 47
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:11:31 PM
You have an opportunity to show these people how stupid racism is...
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 48
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Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:39:43 PM
The more you try to "convince" her family that you are a great person, the more they'll probably enjoy thinking you're not, and the more they'll probably expect you to jump through just to keep trying to "convince" them.

Just BE yourself. If you are a great person, then it will show. Let them make asses out of themselves.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 49
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Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:56:30 PM
To the OP’s defense I don’t think he was trying to sell himself. He was just asking if there is hope. I also don’t think because he was using politically incorrect wording that he is racist himself. Yes, language is important and very powerful but intent is more important and I don’t think he had ill intent. And it is extremely difficult to use a language these days that won’t offend everybody.

Yes OP, there is hope. I was born in the Middle East and my parents are both racists. In my culture it’s a big deal when the daughters hook up with someone from another ethnic background. My mother threatened to kill herself and disowned me for 4 years because I married a white American. Then, after 7 years of marriage when it didn’t work out and I wanted to get divorced my mother complained again. It took her 4 years to accept my ex and she fell in love with him. She didn’t want me to get divorced.

When I had a black boyfriend and told my dad (my parents don’t live here) he asked me how black he was. I was so furious with him for being such an idiot. But I know that they would have tried to accept him if we became serious because their love for me is stronger than their ignorance.

So, what I’m trying to tell you is, it’s all up to your girl, my friend. If she has a strong sense of herself and is independent enough she will put her foot down and eventually her family will accept you.

Please come back and tell us what you’re thinking.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 50
Racist Family
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:56:44 PM
CharityTrue ... I stand up and applaud you!

Never have I heard someone explain that so well.
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