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Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 51
Racist FamilyPage 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

welcome to the real world, bubby....
As they used to say when I was a kid, a drop of blk blood, you BLACK!
Did you think you were gonna get through life with people pretending they accepted you, ignoring what you and they are?
I am glad I did not grow up light-skinned enough to get confused...

good luck trying to win them over...
your gonna need it...LOL
but one question, why do you seek the approval of those who hate you (and hate to bring it upme?)
Is it okay if they hate me and not you?
Do you feel so apart divorced from black folks that you feel you will never struggle with what we've had to deal with?

Here a little heads up, not all black people speak or act in one way.
There is a Maury/media image and there is reality...
Not all black people speak grammatically incorrect english, silly!
No all black people can dance and have rhythm...
Do yourself a favour, get out of your hometown and travel a bit...
BTW, you seem dead set on this girl, how does she feel about you?
You realise if you have kids they may...shock horror...
come out dark-skinned!


i dont for 1 second get how somebody can walk through life an say they have never exsperienced racisim..

i also dont understand how somebody who is mixed doesnt want to embrace all of thier roots an learn more about thier culture.. how he put it its as if he thinks being part black is some diease that he's stuck with so he will only see himself as white

through life ive had black an white friends an dated black an white men
i dont know why somebody would purposly go through life never having dated or been with somebody of thier own race i always wonder when i hear black men talk about they have never dated a black woman an all of thier girlfriends or wives have been of another race what is the real issue going on?

oh i dont see color well thats funny how you will embrace an see everybody eles but your own or refuse to..

guess what no matter how light skinned you maybe or the straightest hair an even if you are a metal head or nascar fan who blends right in if you have even 1% black in you to some people in thier eyes you will always be a nigga to them regardless..
Joined: 10/23/2009
Msg: 52
Racist Family
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:17:08 PM
I have read all the posts here and have come to the conclusion that every poster could be labeled a racist under someone's interpretation. It reminds me of the red scare era (McCarthyism). You can find a communist or a racist anywhere if that's what you expect to find.
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 53
Racist Family
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:28:22 PM
if you care about your wife fight for her simple. If I was in a situation where I NEED my family's approval to date someone outside of my race. I'd rather be disowned and cut out rather than deal with having to WIN the approval the family. If they don't RESPECT my wife, they automatically DON'T respect me.
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 54
view profile
Racist Family
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:13:30 PM
This ganging up, accusing people of being racist and singling someone out is making me partly sad and partly angry. I have nothing against voicing opinions and teaching the less fortunate some things who may have never learned or who may have been even raised with prejudice because of their parents own ignorance.

OP maybe is very willing to learn. However, I just don’t believe people are open to learn when they are being attacked and called names. Maybe it’s just me, but I learn best when someone gives me the benefit of the doubt and says things like, oh honey don’t you realize when you say this and this it can offend people because of this and this... When responses come from a loving place rather than angry place it is human nature to be less defensive and it can actually create transformation and change. It almost feels like people are writing OP completely off and I believe that type hatred is not any different than racism itself.

We need to realize that people make different experiences and just because they haven’t made your experiences they are not bad people. They can learn. I learned. When I was 20 years old and came to the US, I knew shite about racism because I didn’t grew up with it, buut I made mistakes and I learned. I couldn’t have learned if people would have written me off. So please give people a chance. Some of what’s been said is very helpful, like the comment about using the word “Ghetto”. So hopefully we will have more opportunities to teach the ones who simply don’t know, not because they are evil.
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 55
Racist Family
Posted: 1/1/2012 9:18:35 PM
This is too funny! I've read the entire list of threads and couldn't stop cracking up. THIS from someone who fits the very description the OP is trying to pass off. Well.. that without the heavily induced bits of self-denying anti-black sentiment. Check out my photos and read my profile. Does it sound black enough for you? Don't mind being of mixed heritage at all. In fact, I'd like to thank all of my black ancestors and white ones too.

I've lived in foreign countries where people didn't really care for Americans, let alone those you describe. I never bothered to convince anyone to like me. What you see is what you get. The only person you need to convince is the one you see in the mirror every day. Find out who YOU are and stick with that. Let everyone else catch up later.
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 56
Racist Family
Posted: 1/1/2012 10:07:36 PM

I am a black male who grew up in all white suburbs. I have been told by many people I am the whitest black person they have ever met. Most people do not even think I am black because I am very light skinned and don't act black in any way.

I met the most amazing girl. "She is white". "All my girlfriends have been white". I have never dated a black girl. This girl really likes me and she is the girl of my dreams. However, her family is very raciest. >>>>I have never experienced racism before in my life.

when he came out an said this most people do not even think im black because i am very light skinned so that told me he's in the pic he is obviosuly holding his child an it says he has kids so his kids are mixed as well with atleast 1 drop of black right?

is it just a coincidence that mr has never dated a black woman an his dream girl is like all the rest..yet he has never experienced racism
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 57
Racist Family
Posted: 1/1/2012 10:11:11 PM

Plaidski : This post is stupid. End of story.

If your post is stupid, and you knew it was stupid, and in fact that's ALL you posted, then why bother posting it?

Inquiring minds want to know.

This post is inquiring. End of story.
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 58
Racist Family
Posted: 1/1/2012 10:49:40 PM stated that you dont "act black"
how do you act black, or act white?
that sounds racist to me

Time for a Fresh Prince moment:
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 59
view profile
Racist Family
Posted: 1/2/2012 5:14:23 AM
DJayhawk2010, I was in this situation once before and it can be very tough so I feel for you. I am a white woman who was dating a black man and struggling to talk to my family about it. I actually worried so much about it that I ended up giving myself a stress ulcer.

I love my family and they are wonderful loving people but I was brought up to believe that races should not mix. Ironically this line of thinking was reinforced years ago by a very good friend of my mothers. I remember back when I was a kid this friend who is a black woman (also a very wonderful woman) told my mother that she never wanted to see her son date a white woman, that some things just shouldn't happen.

Well I did finally tell my parents and I thought my father would go thru the roof and my mother would be understanding. Surprisingly just the opposite happened. My father just simply said he wants me to be happy and my mother had a very tough time with it. But there is a silver lining to this whole thing, my mother and I had a very frank discussion about race and she now understands that if I like the guy then I will date the guy no matter what color his skin is.

Also I would like to note that people can change how they feel about race. It really does happen. Case in point my Grandmother. When Obama was running for president my Grandmother at first stated very firmly that she would never vote for a black man. Let's just say her and I debated this from time to time. As the it got closer to the election my Grandmother surprised me one day and told me that she was now going to be voting for Obama, the better choice. See people can change!
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 60
Racist Family
Posted: 1/2/2012 5:42:18 AM

Is there a way to convince her family I am a great guy?

Honestly I think it's natural that a family wants their sons and daughters to come home with someone that looks like them. I wouldn't call that racist. More over I don't care how white you think you are, you and I are the last people most people folks want to see come through the door in the "world" with their children.

Now this convincing that you are a great guy "$##@", who the hell are they you have to jump through hoops for them? the kings and queens of England? If they are overtly bigoted as you say why bother? They already have an opinion of you.

Another thing, this 31 year old woman can't make decisions for herself and she is the girl of your dreams? Doesn't sound like much of a "prize" if you ask me. You are a better man than if you want to pursue this, if it was me The family can take their "prize" to .
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 61
view profile
Racist Family
Posted: 1/2/2012 11:12:39 AM

 blueceleste anyway, my mom is racist hates white ppl

NuttaButta47 Seems like your mum is racist of many races then if she hates whites ....Its people like her that needs a reality check ...What makes her colour superior over everyone else ?

Blueceleste never said her mother was superior to everyone else. Unbelievable. The reality check is that there are many racist people in our world. They are usually somebody’s mother, father, sister and brother. Lucky for you your family isn't racist, NuttaButta. Consider yourself fortunate.
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 62
view profile
Racist Family
Posted: 1/2/2012 11:32:38 AM
(Blueceleste never said her mother was superior to everyone else.)

It's so funny that you mention that...I have personally experienced 2 types of racists and they can come in ANY color/walk of life:

-One who feels their ethnicity is superior to others, and they do not like people of certain ethnic backgrounds.

-One who doesn't feel they are superior to another ethnicity, yet they still do not like another ethnicity for whatever reason.

Of course I do not know Blueceleste or her mom...but I can honestly say I have known and been around certain black people in particular who can't stand all (fill in the blank)...yet they don't think they are better than them...they simply don't like them...
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 63
view profile
Racist Family
Posted: 1/2/2012 12:05:39 PM

No she didnt say her mother was superior to everyone else , but said her mother was racist against whites , so what makes her mothers colour superior over everyone elses colour ...And do read posts properly , i said
What makes her colour superior over everyone else ?
Not her mother ...
I am fortunate because my family does not think that one race/colour is better than anyone else .....

I didn't miss anything reading, no worries. She never said her mother's color is superior over everyone else. Some of us are not as fortunate as you are. Good for you.
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 64
Racist Family
Posted: 1/2/2012 2:41:02 PM

Blue Celeste..---Why expose ur mom on this online forum?!?!

I admire her post. She Blue Celeste is showing other posters how she overcame racism that she was raised with. I loved her post. Thank you Blue.
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 65
view profile
Racist Family
Posted: 1/2/2012 2:44:53 PM
Thanks BlueCeleste for clarifying what I felt you were saying in the first place...

So as you can see, there are different angles of this issue. I think it is so important for a person who dates outside of their ethnicity to have a strong sense of self and pride as far as who they are all about and where they come from...regardless of the beliefs or situations that they found themselves brought up in, whether due to a family member, or the type of neighborhood you lived in. Just as you can take pride in your heritage and date outside of your ethnicity, you can agree to disagree with a loved one's belief and go on with your life...while you can't change everyone, you can be strong.

(Blue Celeste..---Why expose ur mom on this online forum?!?)

Why SHOULD she cover it up?! Also, it's not as if she's broadcasting her mom's tel# and address on here...I think it's safe to say the majority of us in this thread will never meet her mom...if her mom was white, would it be OK for BlueCeleste to mention this?! I bet many people never think there are black people who feel this way...too often in American society when someone mentions "racist behavior/incident" people think it automatically means a white person doing something bad against a black or other person of color...wrong!

I know whites who are actually cool with black Americans..but hate Asians and Latinos...I've encountered Latinos who hate blacks but will bend over kissing white people's asses to fit into American society...again, racism can show it's ugly head or should I say ass in any way/shape/form...
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 66
view profile
Racist Family
Posted: 1/2/2012 5:00:00 PM

I admire her post. She Blue Celeste is showing other posters how she overcame racism that she was raised with. I loved her post. Thank you Blue.

I loved her post too. Thank you.

It reiterates that intentional or unintentional racist humans are in fact someones mother, father, sister or brother. What caught my attention was not that there are racist people in this world (that's old news) but that we can see and recognize our connection to the problem. We have parents but we are not our parents.
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 67
Racist Family
Posted: 1/3/2012 8:41:07 AM
God, the black vs white stuff is growing so old and so cliché....
Am I the only human being on the planet who looks at someone and doesn't think "black guy" or "chineese girl"?
I grew up in a very racist family. My dad used to drive his car around and when he'd see a black guy cross the street, look at me with a wink and say "I should have hit him, that's 200 points" or other stupid stuff like "That guy can run, its cos he was conditionned by his ancestry, they always used to run from white men with rifles, that's why most black men are in the olympics". That's plain, mean, idiotic, stupid stuff that we say to each other as jokes when they have ABSOLUTELY no basis in reality. I used to be a racist sombiatch, until I met some people who were of a different race than me who showed me there is NO DIFFERENCE, besides the color. Everyone can be as pompous, stupid, nice, obnoxious or whatever, as anybody else.

If her family is racist OP, ignore them; you love this girl, so screw 'em call them racists if you want to, maybe it'll make them realise that they arent the center of the universe and that their ideas arent shared by the rest of the people in the world. Racism in another family is a stupid reason to end a relationship; the fact that you dont see yourself as black, or that the family is white, should play no role. Hell, if I were in your shoes and they approached you, I'd probably turn the cannon loose on that family; "Her, future father in law, I hope you'll be happy when we gots tonz of lil black kids runnin in da house, DAWG", just to make them feel worse, piss 'em off or whatever. Racism aside, anyone lacking respect to someone else should not expect any in return. I understand your keeping quiet for your girlfriend's sake, but she should be the one dealing with this issue with her family, not you. Your the boyfriend, as such you should leave her family for her to deal with. I have no fear that if she loves you, she's probably giving them crap for it anyways

Good luck man, love her true, and dont let anyone stop you
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 68
view profile
Racist Family
Posted: 1/3/2012 8:22:59 PM
Stay strong man. Try not to let that mess bother you. Understandably easier said than done. Hopefully they will eventually realize that they are being selfish and can be happy for someone else's happiness. There's no point in trying to change people who don't want to change. Kill em with kindness.
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 69
view profile
Racist Family
Posted: 1/3/2012 8:39:42 PM
She has been told she would be cast out of the family for dating someone outside of her race. She does not want to lose her family.

OP, people do many different things they don't want to. Of course no one wants to lose their family but have you told her you would be there for her if she did? If she sees that there are alternatives to her current life she will be more willing to take risks.

I never thought I would cast my family but when my mother threatened me with suicide I thought this is BS. If I don't stand up for myself now this woman will blackmail me for the rest of my life. Thank God my ex was so supportive and understanding of what I was going through that it was easy for me to leave it all behind. I gave up my friends, my family, my home and my life for him and in return his mother accused me of taking advantage of his son for the green card.

Racism is everywhere and all around us. We can't change everyone or even one person if we tried but what WE do and who WE chose to become changes someone else down the line and that person changes some one else and so forth. Just something to think about.
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 70
view profile
Racist Family
Posted: 1/4/2012 2:30:56 PM
Very interesting views. This is why I enjoy this site.
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 71
Racist Family
Posted: 1/4/2012 5:58:16 PM
look, try not to worry about it. i know it sucks, but people CAN change. i have seen this very same thing up close. my ex husband was half asian and half white. his brother married a white woman, and the girl's father hated that fact that he was half asian. well, to make a long story short, my brother in law was a great husband, a wonderful dad, and he made an effort to build a relationship with his inlaws. after my brother in law and his wife had been married a while the girl's family accepted him, and he is now very close with the father. he is the favorite son in law!

sometimes people just need to get to know someone in order to over come their prejudices. we are all human and we are all full of biases, contradictions, and we all make mistakes. some people have been raised to be racist, and it takes a new experience to help them over come this. just know that you have the power to change the situation, but it may take time. if you really love this woman, and if she is really the woman of your dreams, then don't let anything stand in your way. it may be tough, but if you guys get married and have kids things will change quite a bit. grandparents love their grand kids. you have the power to change don't feel like it's hopeless.

good luck..take care...and hang in there...
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 72
Racist Family
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:12:06 PM

"Anyone who is married to their family , should be a good sign for people to steer clear of them , ....."

when you get married, you marry the family, too. you should go way out of your way to cultivate a positive relationship with the in laws. this is vitally important, and it also serves a strategic purpose as well. first of all, you have to deal with the family, and the person you marry will have to deal with your family, too. that's just the way it is; it is not something you can "steer clear from." you have to deal with these people - there are holidays, other weddings, graduations, funerals - all gatherings where you will have to interact with family. also, if you don't have a good relationship with your in laws, then they can do a lot to make your marriage a mess.

now here is the strategic part... if you have a strong relationship with your in laws, they will be supportive of the marriage. if you don't think that is important, then think again. i've known plenty of men that turned down opportunities to stray because their wife was so close to his parents and siblings, and he didn't want to hurt them. this provided the support necessary for the man to come to his sense, and fix the issues in the marriage before having a full blown affair. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but i'd say hell hath no fury like a mother that is pissed off at her son for running around on her favorite daughter in law. oh you don't want to be privy to THAT phone call...
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 75
Racist Family
Posted: 1/4/2012 9:25:28 PM
Family issues seem to effect women more than men. I could care less if my family likes the woman I am with. Im in to the woman, then they are my main priority. My love for my family is different than the love I have for my significant other. Both equally important, but mutually exclusive of each other.

In the end of the day, your/her parents are going to die, and it will be about you and your lover. Choose wisely.
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