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 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 76
Racist FamilyPage 4 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
you think you have it tough -try being an octoroon like myself!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 77
Racist Family
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:13:43 PM
mr albany

"Family issues seem to effect women more than men."

i think it depends upon how much time one spends with one's family, and it also depends on whether or not one is close with one's family. i know plenty of men that complain about friction between their wives and their mothers. this can be a big problem. i think it is important to try to cultivate a strong relationship withe in laws.
 54hollywood
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 78
Racist Family
Posted: 1/7/2012 9:41:02 AM
Hi; I am a 63yr old white guy,went to a school that had one black student. We got along great. But at that time I was of the seperate is better between the races people. However as things have changed and time passed I have changed my view . If two people Love and want eachother it's good for me.
Go get her. Her family will come around . If they don't they are so small minded that why would either of you care. Love each other that's what counts.
Jim
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 79
view profile
History
Racist Family
Posted: 1/7/2012 11:15:17 AM

My heart wants her what can I do?

Stop being a racist yourself. That might work.


I have been told by many people I am the whitest black person they have ever met.

Care to elaborate? Particularly, how you, or these "people" would define "whitest". Sounds racist to me.


All my girlfriends have been white. I have never dated a black girl.

Sounds racist to me. Why have you never dated a black girl? Could it be RACISM?


I have never experienced racism before in my life.

Quite sure about that?


However, her family is very raciest.

How would you say they are "raciest"? Did they, too, call you out on B.S.? Were they able to win an argument against you? We could use more information here.


Seems to be nothing more here than a case of "wah, wah, I can't have this person. Boo hoo, racism can be the only explanation". Isn't this kind of topic considered "done to death" around here?
 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 80
Racist Family
Posted: 1/7/2012 11:17:14 AM
I'm an octoroon. both sides were against me from the day I was born. "Eighth-breed!" they all shout and sneer at me! no songs such as " Octoroon Nation! Octoroon Pride! " for us..
 MOTD2010
Joined: 5/18/2010
Msg: 81
Racist Family
Posted: 1/7/2012 12:16:07 PM
Tough situation, it is almost impossible to change what is in a person's heart and hatred is an emotion that is probably one of the hardest. The big question is does your girlfriend love you enough and is strong enough to separate herself from her family and break the cycle of hatred?

If not you're faced with basically two options continue with her realizing her family will always be against you unless you miraculously change them.

Or move on and chalk it up to something that wasn't meant to be.

I don't envy you your choices, none of them will be easy ones. But wish you good fortune in whatever choice you make.
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 82
Racist Family
Posted: 1/7/2012 4:15:24 PM

How can you expect others to respect you when you cant respect who you are?:

Cheryl got part of it
Start by respecting yourself, be proud of who and what you are. I`m a french guy living surrounded by english people judging me for my language; I guess its a form of racism. For them, my race should have been conquered and died 300 years before and they resent us for it now. Be proud of who you are; give hell to anyone who don`t agree
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 83
Racist Family
Posted: 1/7/2012 4:25:23 PM
You aren't going to change the attitudes of her parents.They are set in their ways. If she dates you she may be excommunicated from her family, friends, etc. They may never accept any grandchildren from the union, as any black blood in the children makes them black. This isn't unusual, it's just the way it is. They want the best for their daughter, & are not looking at you as an individual, but as a black man. I know you like her a lot, but you may need to move on, & date a person from a more liberal, accepting family. I'm sorry this has happened to you, but be prepared to run into this again when you are dating a lady from a different race.
 BrookfieldGentlemanTom
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 84
Racist Family
Posted: 1/7/2012 10:55:33 PM
some white peeps don't want black peeps in their lives because they think blacks come from a culture of violence.

try to convince her family you are different.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 85
Racist Family
Posted: 1/8/2012 12:04:33 PM

some white peeps don't want black peeps in their lives because they think blacks come from a culture of violence.

try to convince her family you are different.



you won't convince your family of anything.


on the same token, there are plenty of black families which also do not wish their children to date/marry outside of their own race.


it is what it is...

all you can concern yourself with in dating is yourself and the relationship you are in. if a person IS ok with dating interracially (black/white) one would be a fool to ignore the fact that either or both families might have an issue with it.

and you do marry a family as well...
 minvera120
Joined: 2/18/2010
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Racist Family
Posted: 1/8/2012 12:09:06 PM
Just be yourself. It happened to my son, but once they got married and had a child the family was present too much. If she loves you and the family relaize that whatever they do you guys will still be together they will question their motive.

Love her and forgive her family and pray for the best. Remember it may not be easy. but what is for a black man.

A black mother
 AngelofHonesty
Joined: 1/4/2012
Msg: 87
Racist Family
Posted: 1/8/2012 4:03:21 PM
OK...get the whole whitest black person, trust me I'm not light skinned and I get that, because of my up bringing, no big deal. But you can't convince them to except you if they are racist, if they love her they will respect her decision regardless.

Really you have always dated white girls, so trying to change their mind, would be like someone changing your mind to date black girls for instance, do you get where I'm coming from, rather people want to believe it or not, people have a right to dislike something, or someone regardless if it's right or wrong, so being racist is a choice no one is born with hatred in their heart, it's taught, so therefore can be avoided if wanted. You can't change a person's choice, don't waste your time trying!!!!! Besides if you are that light, maybe they will think you are white, hell it's been working for you thus far right?
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 88
Racist Family
Posted: 1/8/2012 7:55:53 PM
^^^^^he might be the whitest of all black people on the planet....


but UUUUUU


got the biggest smile of all smiles in the solar system girl !


cute, but now my face hurts !!

;)

hehehehehe
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 89
Racist Family
Posted: 1/10/2012 6:42:58 AM

Just a thought, are there any real-life racists here who would care to offer there opinions on the matter?


Like I said before, I used to be a BIG TIME racist. Anthing that wasn't white, except Chineese women,a nd even then, before 30, because after that they get all flaky lol.
But I'm not anymore. It was mostly black people, black GUYS to be precise, but it took meeting some very gnarly black guys to turn me un-racist.
But anyways, racism isnt conscious, isnt logical, isnt rational. You hate for the sake of itself. The only reason I hated black guys were because they were arrogant, and since once when I was working at a store and they came and stole stuff, ALL of them were thieves, you know? Which is ridiculous, but I also had a lot of racist friends. Took me a while to get out of it all.
But if I were a father, and a racist one, the only reason I wouldnt accept my daughter, for example, to date a black person, would be in sake of ITSELF; I dont like and approve because he's a black person. He's dirty, will soil the bloodline, and I do NOT want black children. It would be that simple, that disgusting, that irrationnal.
So my advice to the OP stands; tell that family to GO TO HELL. If they dont accept you, fine, its a stupid, irrationnal sentiment on their part, either ignore them or call them racists; there's nothing intelligent about their reactions.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 90
Racist Family
Posted: 1/10/2012 7:44:51 AM

Your post is racist.


I realize the OP started this post over six years ago now but the conversation is still interesting, so I'll play along.

I live in Canada and I've dated black women. I got the distinct impression from reading buddy's post that he doesn't like himself very much. It almost reminds me of stories where a black man with light skin passes himself off as white and hates himself?

My advice would be to think about Sydney Poitier in "Guess who's coming to dinner". Then again, that was the early 60's so it's slightly easier to accept ignorant attitudes in that context. Forty years down the line and these stupid rednecks haven't got the memo yet?

I'm a white guy who lives in the "Great White North" and even I wouldn't have anything to do with some woman who was tight with her racist family. I mean every family has at least one igrint racist but a whole clan of them? I think the OP needs to stop dating hillbilly chicks.

Maybe monster truck rallies aren't the best place to go looking for dates?
 unYOUsual
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 91
Racist Family
Posted: 1/10/2012 7:51:16 AM

all my girlfriends have been white. I have never dated a black girl. This girl really likes me and she is the girl of my dreams. However, her family is very raciest. I have never experienced racism before in my life.
Sounds like her family aren't the only racists..you never dated a Black Girl, why? You don't act black? that cracks me up..sounds like you have some issues of your own that you need to deal with before you deal with her family...
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 92
Racist Family
Posted: 1/10/2012 8:17:58 AM
My family has been through similar we have language, cultural, religious, political and racial differences a few knock down drag outs n everyones family after that... and thats just the women!
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 93
Racist Family
Posted: 1/10/2012 8:20:21 AM

I admire her post. She Blue Celeste is showing other posters how she overcame racism that she was raised with. I loved her post. Thank you Blue.

I loved her post too. Thank you.
Oh really????
So did you see THIS line in there:
for me, i would still never date a blk guy


To the OP.. sounds like you aren't gonna get the girl.
Oh well. Guess you'll have to find another white girl to fall in love with. *sic*


I realize the OP started this post over six years ago now but the conversation is still interesting, so I'll play along.
Nah, it was started last month.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 94
Racist Family
Posted: 1/10/2012 8:45:34 AM
^^^oops, my bad. I looked at someone's joined date and assumed the rest...oh well.

In that case, OP take your girl by the hand and get her out of there. Life is too damn short to waste on ignorant people who want to hate. You both deserve better than that.
 That_girl*
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 95
Racist Family
Posted: 1/10/2012 9:58:18 AM
unYOUsual
all my girlfriends have been white. I have never dated a black girl. This girl really likes me and she is the girl of my dreams. However, her family is very raciest. I have never experienced racism before in my life.


Sounds like her family aren't the only racists..you never dated a Black Girl, why? You don't act black? that cracks me up..sounds like you have some issues of your own that you need to deal with before you deal with her family...


exactly!
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 96
Racist Family
Posted: 1/10/2012 10:05:20 PM
Does her heart want you? If she loves you she would not care what her family thinks.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 97
Racist Family
Posted: 1/10/2012 10:08:41 PM
bria12 what do you mean by Dont act black?
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 98
view profile
History
Racist Family
Posted: 1/10/2012 11:57:48 PM
bria12 was repeating OP in disbelieve. She wasn't making the actual statement.

I realize the OP started this post over six years ago now but the conversation is still interesting, so I'll play along.

Huh? Where did you get 6 years ago? Thread "Posted: 12/28/2011 8:03:34 PM"
However, OP joined POF looking for someone in 2010 so it looks like he moved on.



all my girlfriends have been white. I have never dated a black girl. This girl really likes me and she is the girl of my dreams. However, her family is very raciest. I have never experienced racism before in my life.

Honestly, no offense to anyone, but the way I understand this paragraph is as a list of facts to describe his situation. While a racist could be saying these things, if they are actual facts, a non racist could be saying them too.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 99
Racist Family
Posted: 1/11/2012 12:39:53 AM
^^^see msg. 167 - I already got burned for that.

I think the part some folks are commenting about is the "act black" bit. For me, the very idea that someone would say "act black" indicates they only see black people as one thing. Would that be like Sidney Poitier, charming suave and debonaire? Or Nelson Mandela to rise up and lead a nation? Idi Amin? Rosa Parks? What exactly is acting black supposed to mean?
 Foresthaven
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 100
Racist Family
Posted: 1/11/2012 12:47:09 AM
"keep you but bury you so far into the closet you will be hanging out with dust and mice" and he can continue to be the 'whitest black man' in that closet.

Well said cdn

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